Something Like Thunder

by Jay Bell

  “No,” Nathaniel said firmly. “It doesn’t.”

  “As soon as Arthur is old enough, I’m getting him a puppy that he can grow up with. I already love him with all my heart, but I want him to have that same comfort. Anyway, what’s all this about you being unhappy?”

  Nathaniel started to shake his head. He preferred the pain to remain buried. Why speak of it? Then again, Sheila had always been open with him. “I broke up with a guy I’d been in love with for years. I think I still am.”

  “Then what got in the way?”

  Nathaniel started talking. At first he tried summarizing the situation, and as shocking as “my best friend was sleeping with my boyfriend” sounded, it still didn’t evoke all the despair he had gone through, so he kept speaking, delving into more detail than necessary.

  “You can always start over,” Sheila said. “Build yourself a new life. I know it can be difficult to see the way forward right now, but there’s nothing holding you back. Reinvent yourself. Make the world what you want it to be.”

  Nathaniel felt a nostalgic pang. It was good having someone to confide in again. He missed Rebecca. She had given him so much. Maybe he hadn’t given enough in return.

  “You okay?” Sheila asked.

  “Yeah. I just had a non-angry thought about Rebecca, that’s all.”

  “Maybe you should forgive her.”

  He shook his head. “We’ll never be friends again.”

  “Fine, but you can still forgive her. Even if she never finds out. You’ll feel better if you let go of that anger completely.”

  Nathaniel considered her with fresh perspective. Pretty, intelligent, and caring. “Where’s my brother?”

  “Sleeping it off in his old room. Why?”

  “Because I’m seriously thinking about proposing to you. Let’s run away together. We’ll elope.”

  Sheila laughed. “Considering what an ass he’s been lately, I’m tempted to take you up on that.”

  They talked a little longer, Nathaniel getting to know her better and listening to stories about Arthur that made her cheeks grow rosy. For once he believed the kid was going to be all right, because however much fury coursed through his brother, Sheila possessed twice as much love. When she heard Arthur crying, she left to tend to her son.

  Nathaniel considered her advice. Build a new life. He could do that. Even if he walked out of the house right now and lived on the streets, he would be setting the past firmly behind him. Of course he wasn’t too keen on sleeping under a bridge. A job would be nice. Hadn’t he been offered one recently? He pulled out his wallet, searching for Marcello’s business card. Then he remembered using it as a bookmark on the plane. Nathaniel stood, grabbing the duffel bag from one corner and wincing at the stench of urine. Then he laughed, remembering how the smell had gotten there.

  Bonkers the dog. What a stupid mutt. He was probably tearing apart some poor tourist’s backpack right now. Unless the officer hadn’t been kidding about sending him back to the shelter. If so, Bonkers had probably been put to sleep. Nathaniel couldn’t imagine anyone adopting such an ugly or ill-behaved creature. He swallowed, surprised by the lump in his throat. Then he opened the bag, digging around until he found the book. And the business card. He considered everything he needed before he dialed the number.

  “Marcello,” a voice said by way of introduction.

  “Nathaniel,” he replied. “Do you remember me?”

  “I never stopped thinking of you,” Marcello purred. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “Is that job offer still open?”

  “Funny you should mention that. Kenneth just left our employ today.”

  “You let him stick around that long?”

  “Of course! I didn’t want to alert him, not before my computer specialists finished searching for more nasty surprises. And we found a few. Yes indeed. Now that his fangs have been pulled, Kenneth has been set loose, free to slither off to browner pastures.”

  “You still need someone to take his place?”

  “Ah.”

  “Ah?”

  “Naturally I’ve been planning ahead. I have some very impressive résumés on my desk. And if I’m not mistaken, you’re still preoccupied by Yale.”

  “Fuck that place,” Nathaniel said. “And everyone there too.”

  “What a novel idea! You know, perhaps you should reconsider your verbal demeanor. I’ve never had a potential employee use such language during a job interview.”

  “Is that what this is?” Nathaniel blanched. “I figured it was already too late.”

  “You did good work,” Marcello said. “It’s hard to separate precisely what you accomplished while working with Kenneth, but the results were of a higher caliber than usual.”

  “I’m willing to work even harder,” Nathaniel said. “I promise.”

  “The position is more complicated than you might imagine.”

  “I can handle it.”

  Marcello chuckled. “Such hubris. Enjoy it while you can. I haven’t sounded so certain about anything since my thirties. I’m afraid, however, that I must consider what is best for the company. Youth has its drawbacks as well, such as a lack of experience. Perhaps I can find you a position as a personal assistant or—”

  “You said you were in my debt,” Nathaniel pressed.

  “Do you really feel now is the appropriate time to play that card?”

  “I’m desperate.”

  There was a pause on the line. “You helped me at a time when I didn’t know I needed it. I’d be remiss not to return the favor. If worse comes to worst, we can agree to part ways.”

  “Will I get a three-month severance package too?”

  “Avoid extorting me and I might make it six.”

  Nathaniel’s breath felt short. “So I’ve got the job?”

  Marcello hesitated. “I’m not usually one for public service announcements, but from what I understand, it’s cool to stay in school. Student loans are dreadful. At the very least you should finish the semester and earn a degree.”

  “I’m not going back to Yale,” Nathaniel insisted. He glanced at the business card. “Austin has a university. I’ll finish my degree there. Eventually.”

  “Then you’re willing to relocate?”

  “Totally. Except…”

  “Yes?”

  “Money is a little tight right now. I’ll need a place to stay.”

  “Then you can be my guest until you find your footing.”

  “No,” he said without thinking. It didn’t take him long to understand his aversion to the idea. “I’ve never had much luck living with other people. I need to be on my own.”

  “And you expect me to buy you a house?”

  “Works for me,” Nathaniel said, “but I was only hoping for an advance so I could find an apartment.”

  “A rental?” Marcello sounded amused. “How practical! I’ve always said that renting is like dating. No sense in proposing to the bank before you’re ready to get ravaged by them on the honeymoon.”

  “I’d be in your debt,” Nathaniel said.

  “Literally, when I’m interested in obligations of a more abstract nature.”

  “I did save your entire company.”

  Marcello chuckled. “Then the company will save you. I’m sure we’ll find a way of making the apartment tax-deductible. Please don’t tell me I need to go grocery shopping for you. Or worry about the furnishings.”

  “No. I can handle all that.”

  “Very well,” Marcello said. “You have my email address. Send me any information you find relevant. I’ll respond with your new address, once I have it. Everything else can be handled in person. Can I expect you to report to work next week?”

  “Yes,” Nathaniel said, head spinning. He couldn’t believe this was happening! He would need to return to Connecticut to collect his belongings. As soon as this phone call was over, he’d contact the airline, then start packing. His eyes shifted to the duffel bag and remained
there. “Just one more thing. Make sure the apartment allows animals. Please.”

  “You have a pet?”

  “I might have a dog. I’m not sure yet.”

  * * * * *

  Nathaniel called the airport first, but not to change his flight. Instead he asked about the drug dog program, which resulted in an awkward conversation that led nowhere. He was transferred a few times, and eventually put on the line with someone who seemed to think he was seeking exploitable knowledge. When he continued rambling on about a dog missing most of its hair that had severe behavioral problems, he was accused of being with the press. The call ended fruitlessly.

  Then he turned to the Internet, but the shelters he found were closed for the day. He tried calling a few numbers regardless, picturing Bonkers being led toward an electric chair, a red phone outside the room ringing just in the nick of time. Nathaniel didn’t have any luck. He gave up for the night and went to find his parents, telling them the good news. He had a job! Of course they didn’t see it that way. Not only was he dropping out of Yale, but he didn’t know how much he’d be earning or if he would have benefits. He didn’t share their concerns, still high from making such a brash decision.

  The next morning he felt less certain but set aside his fears to continue his quest. If the officer hadn’t been lying, and dogs only had two weeks before they were put down, then Nathaniel was cutting it close. He called five different shelters, but none of the employees he spoke to recognized the description he gave. He also asked about the drug dog program with no luck. He became convinced the officer had made up the whole thing, but decided to try one more shelter before calling it quits.

  “Ugly as hell,” he said. “Most of his hair has fallen out, or maybe it never grew in the first place. I don’t know. Has some sort of rash. He kind of looks like roadkill.”

  “When did your dog go missing?” the woman asked, sounding hopeful.

  “He’s not mine. I just met him at the airport.” Okay. That sounded crazy.

  “Was he sniffing bags?”

  “Yeah!” Nathaniel said. “That’s the one! Is he still there?”

  “I’m afraid not. He didn’t make it.”

  “Oh.” A pit opened up in Nathaniel’s stomach. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  The line was silent a moment. “We still have him. Is that what you mean? He’s not at the airport anymore. He flunked out of the sniffer program, so they sent him back.”

  “He’s alive?” Nathaniel asked, feeling happy.

  “Yes! Did you want to adopt him?”

  “Oh.” He pictured all of his possessions covered in dog pee. “Kind of. I just don’t want him to die.”

  The line went silent again. “Maybe you could come visit us at the shelter so we can see… So you can visit Bonkers and get a second impression.”

  She probably thought he was completely nuts and wanted to verify that in person, but he accepted anyway. The shelter was open most of the day, so after a shower and a quick breakfast, he drove there. He had more doubts on the way. Even a well-behaved dog would be a handful. The new job would demand most of his attention. Then again, if he was the dog’s only hope, how could he possibly turn his back?

  The woman at the shelter, Mary, was short and chubby, her cheeks red from exertion. She seemed to be the only person working there. After answering three phone calls and accepting a cat that a family no longer wanted, she led him to the back. The floors were hard and beige. Fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling. Down one long hallway with a drain in the middle was a series of cage doors separated by concrete walls. Most of these spaces were filled, the air loud with the sound of barking.

  Nathaniel grimaced openly at the environment. “Can’t you do better than this for them?”

  “Money,” Mary said. “I play the lottery every week hoping I can buy land and give these babies a proper home. Until then we look for other solutions. Not just homes, but training programs, like the one at the airport. Or another for service animals. Here we go.”

  They stopped at a cage. The animal inside sat on a blanket, preoccupied with licking his own junk. Bonkers. The dog stopped licking and looked up when the cage door rattled and opened. Nathaniel’s first impression had been correct. The poor thing looked like he had been run over by a lawn mower. Bonkers didn’t seem to mind. He hopped up, paws skittering on the slick floor, tail wagging. Mary blocked the doorway long enough to get a leash on his collar. Then she moved aside so they could be reunited.

  Nathaniel wasn’t sure if Bonkers recognized him, since currently he was going from cage to cage, sniffing the other dogs. Mary suggested they take him outside where he would calm down, but once in a fenced-off yard, all he seemed interested in was running back and forth and peeing different places.

  “He’s still a puppy,” she said fondly. “Usually they are the first to get adopted but…”

  “He’s ugly,” Nathaniel supplied.

  Mary laughed. “Eye of the beholder. I think he’s a sweetie.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” Nathaniel asked. “His fur, I mean.”

  “Food allergy is my guess. It isn’t fleas or mites. We had him dipped, but it didn’t help. Diet is the main suspect. Lord only knows what they put in most dog food. I’d feed him BARF if I could afford it.”

  “Gross!”

  “It’s an acronym.” Mary tittered. “I only remember what the last two letters stand for. Raw Food. As in meat. You’d be surprised how many animals benefit from that.”

  “Couldn’t you try it just for a week?”

  “Money,” Mary repeated. “It’s a large expense, especially for an animal that won’t be around much longer. Not my policy, I assure you. Just the cold, hard facts.”

  Bonkers chose that moment to finally notice Nathaniel, running circles around him and bucking like a horse. This threatened to tie them both up, so Mary dropped the leash. Nathaniel stepped out of the circle and picked the leash up again before the dog could flee. Soon he was yanked forward, the dog taking him for a walk instead of the other way around.

  “His allergies are why he was given to us,” Mary said, keeping up. “He’s purebred—Siberian Husky—but that often leads to complications like these. Happens a lot. People want a beautiful dog, no matter how inbred, and they’re willing to pay a pretty penny to get it. When the animal starts to have problems, they suddenly can’t find the cash for those veterinary bills. Funny how that works. They have no problem finding us though.”

  “That sucks,” Nathaniel said.

  “Do you have pets already?” Mary asked.

  “No.”

  “Any experience with them?”

  “Nope.”

  “Do you have a suitable home?”

  “I’m not sure,” Nathaniel admitted. “Does that mean I can’t have him?”

  Mary hesitated, watching as Bonkers started kicking with his hind legs, showering them with grass and dirt. “As long as you can pay the adoption fee, he’s all yours!”

  * * * * *

  Nathaniel felt like he was trying to communicate with an alien species. Getting the dog to slow down enough to pay attention was the first challenge. After a number of walks that felt more like a tug-of-war, and a huge bowl of dry kibble, Bonkers finally settled down on Nathaniel’s bed. That was good. Nathaniel still didn’t know if the dog remembered him. He did sniff the duffel bag and look back at Nathaniel with something that resembled a smug expression, but he was probably just reading into things.

  Getting down on his knees so they were eye level, Nathaniel tried asking. “Remember me?”

  “Pant pant pant,” was the only response.

  “I saved your life today. That makes us tight. We’re best buds now.”

  More panting.

  So far so good. “I know we’ve both been through a lot. The people who were supposed to love you failed. They let you down. The same happened to me. Now we’re starting over. Together. There’s something we’ve got to talk about though. Your name. It
’s really really stupid.”

  The dog stopped panting and cocked his head.

  “Mary thinks you’re not even a year old. That’s pretty young, so I’m hoping you haven’t gotten too attached to it. Do you really want to be called Bonkers your entire life?”

  The dog resumed panting, as if he wasn’t concerned either way.

  “If you’re leaving it up to me, I was thinking Zero. That’s a movie reference. Tim Burton, not Mel Brooks. Am I making sense?”

  Somehow the dog managed to look embarrassed for him.

  “Think of it this way: We’re both starting from scratch. From zero. That makes it more poetic. See?”

  The newly christened Zero rolled over on his side, as if exhausted by the conversation.

  “Yeah, I agree. It’s getting late.”

  Nathaniel rose to turn off the light. Then he got undressed. He peered at the bed through the gloom, remembering a time when it had been occupied. Now it was again, but he would rather have Caesar there instead. So much for dogs being the best cure for a broken heart. He sighed, then got between the sheets. Not long after, he felt the dog stir. Zero crawled near and flopped over again so their backs were pressed against each other. Then he exhaled as if content. A few moments later, Nathaniel did the same.

  * * * * *

  A new life. With nothing to weigh him down except what he could fit in his car. Nathaniel flew back to Connecticut at the end of spring break, spending one more night in his old apartment. He packed everything he could into boxes. The next day, when Rebecca went to class, he loaded the car with clothes, his movie collection, the television, his surround sound system, and enough pots, dishes, and utensils for one person. He even managed a few lamps, but that still left the couch and bed. Both were a lost cause. He and Rebecca had gone halfsies on the couch, which had set them back hundreds of dollars. He considered the couch carefully, then took off all the cushions and shoved them in the car, because fuck her.

  Then he began the long drive to Texas, pulling over at a rest stop to sleep at around midnight. The vehicle was so stuffed that he couldn’t even recline his seat. This at least prevented him from sleeping in. He was on the road again at five in the morning, finally arriving home in the late afternoon. Zero seemed happy to see him, which was progress. Nathaniel unpacked enough to free the passenger seat, making room for the dog.