by K. G. Reuss
“Am I dead?” her voice was in my head again.
“Not yet,” my voice was still distorted from the depths of the shadows. “Your heart barely beats, but you still live. Do you want to die?” My voice cracked with the words, hoping she chose the easiest answer for both of us. What that answer was, I didn’t know, but both choices broke my heart for different reasons.
“I-no,” she whimpered, her body trembling. “I-I want to live.”
“You will not be the same. You’re special.” I couldn’t lie to her. She had to know everything I could possibly warn her about. “Who you were will die tonight on this pavement, and a new you will be reborn from the ashes and misery. Death stalks you tonight.” My eyes swept over her face before I gave a shudder and closed my eyes. I was going to try this. I had to. I was about to alter our destinies if everything was true. Forever. But she was worth it. She had to be. I prayed she was. I’d keep her safe. I’d promised, and this was me keeping that promise. “Do you accept what this could mean for you? Do you understand that nothing will ever be the same? Because Ever, you’re going to die here tonight, whether you continue to breathe or not.”
“I’m afraid.” She wept, tears leaking from her emerald green eyes. A strange look swept over her face. I knew that look. She was going to leave me. No. No!
“Fight it,” I commanded her in a deep voice. “It will be my battle, not yours. I will take it all away. Trust me, Everly. I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you,” my voice cracked on the last sentence. I was such a liar!
“Who are you?” she gasped out, her body spasming again.
“Tonight, I’m your lucky penny,” I breathed out. I placed my free hand over her heart. Working on instinct alone with my mother’s words about our hearts echoing in my mind, I felt my energy begin to transfer to her, giving her a bit of healing. Some of her wounds mended. But her injuries were extensive. She’d have to fight many of them on her own. I just had to take enough away to save her. The more I took from her, the more pain engulfed me. Still I continued taking everything I could from her, so she wouldn’t suffer.
“Are you an angel?” she choked out.
“Definitely not an angel,” I answered sadly, painfully. “I’m your only hope—your last hope. This will change everything, and for that I am sorry. If you want this, if you want life and what this moment means, then breathe for me, Ever. Don’t stop once you start. I’ll be weakened until you awaken and won’t be able to help you.” If it was anything like Eric’s and everyone else’s best abilities, it would take me time to recover.
Her eyes locked on mine as she drew in breath after breath, fighting the battle along with me. She was a good girl. We needed one another. I kept my eyes locked on hers, letting her know that I was there for her. With her.
“Breathe,” I murmured fiercely. My hand on her chest trembled violently, the last bit of energy I had left going into her. Her heart began to thud normally while mine quaked and stumbled in my chest. “Keep breathing, Everly. Breathe for me,” I wheezed out, trying to sound strong for her.
“Who are you?” she called out again in my mind.
“I-I am everything we both fear,” I answered painfully, everything hitting me all at once. Everything she saw moments before her near-death collided with me, pain and all. Along the edge of the dark street, I thought I saw movement. Perhaps a wraith. I couldn’t be sure because everything was hazy and painful. It was probably just my imagination. I prayed it was.
I crumpled to the ground beside her, unable to withstand the agony I was in. I knew in my mind that it was true. I was the Reever, and she was the Mancer.
And together, we’d be unstoppable.
Chapter 16
I hurt. Bad. I hurt in places I didn’t think I could ever hurt. Even breathing was a painful ordeal. My ribs and lungs screamed at me with every short breath I tried to rake in. The underside of my wrist burned and itched. Absentmindedly, I rubbed it.
“Shit,” I groaned painfully, opening my eyes.
“He’s awake! Get Brandon!” Eric shouted out. There was a rush of footsteps as someone retreated from my room. My room. I was back in the Conexus house.
“God,” I moaned, struggling as I sat up. My bones were on fire, and my head felt like a marching band had just swept through it leaving behind a dull roar in its wake. “Where’s Everly? Is she OK?” I was frantic and bleary-eyed as I struggled to get out of bed. All I knew was that I had to make sure she was safe. A set of strong hands started to push me back in bed, but I shoved them away.
“Dude, lie down! Brandon is on his way! You aren’t strong enough yet!” Eric shouted. I didn’t care. I needed to see her. Needed to make sure she was OK. I fell to the floor and began crawling to my door. I wasn’t strong enough to meld, but I’d sure as hell crawl there on my hands and knees if I had to.
“Shadow, please,” Amara called out helplessly. “Stop. Eric, do something! He’s going to hurt himself again!”
Eric reached out for me, but I pushed him off again. A moment later Damien and Brandon entered. They immediately swooped down and hauled my weak body back to my bed.
“Get the hell off me!” I snarled, struggling to break free.
“Why is he acting like this?” Amara demanded. “Brandon, fix it!”
“I’m trying,” Brandon growled, placing his hands on either side of my face. Warmth flowed through me, relaxation following. Brandon could simmer down emotions. Damn him for doing it to me.
“Knock it off, Rice,” I snapped at him. He released me and gave me a sheepish smile and a shrug.
“Where’s Everly?” I demanded, not hurting nearly as much as I had been moments before. “Is she OK? Someone tell me!”
“She’s in the hospital,” Damien broke in. “I was there this morning.”
“And?”
“And...” Damien looked around the room at everyone. “I think we should speak alone.”
“I’m not leaving!” Amara folded her arms over her chest. “He’s my boyfriend. And he almost died! And for some girl no one knows! I want to hear what’s going on—”
“Amara, this is a private mission between me, Damien, and Eric. You are not needed or wanted right now. Brandon, take Amara out, please.”
“But—” she sputtered, wide-eyed.
“Mara. Go. Now,” I commanded, growling with irritation. She was a problem I didn’t have time for at the moment. “This doesn’t concern you. We’ll talk soon.”
Her face softened, and she gave me a nod before leaving the room with Brandon.
“What’s going on,” I demanded the moment they were gone.
“Don’t freak out, OK,” Eric started.
“How the hell do you expect me to not freak out when you start a sentence with ‘don’t freak out’?”
“OK, sorry. Listen. Everly is in the hospital. She’s in a coma,” Eric tried again. Weakly, I got to my feet and went straight to my closet, my heart thudding in my ears. She was still hurting. I had to get to her. I had to fix her. Guilt washed over me for wanting her dead. It was so heavy I had to lean against the wall to steady myself. I rubbed at my chest and throat. Both still felt like they were on fire.
“Man, just rest. She’ll be fine. You-you don’t want to see her this way,” Damien pleaded softly, his voice cracking.
“Why don’t I?” I snapped, lifting my head to look at him. He shifted uncomfortably and looked away from me. “Just say it!”
“She’s not breathing on her own. She hasn’t been since she got there.”
“I failed,” I said, paling. “She was breathing when I passed out. I heard her! I felt her!”
“She was, man. But she had a lot of injuries. She had a brain injury. The doctors don’t even know if she’s going to wake up. If she’ll even be the same again.”
“Then I’ll go heal her,” I declared, trying to push off the wall.
“You aren’t strong enough, man. Look at you! You’re barely able to stand up! She’s alive. I promise yo
u that. Just please. Rest for today. Go tomorrow. I’ll go stay with her. I’ll report back every few hours. I swear it.”
“If anything happens to her—” I said, my voice quaking, my stomach rolling with the thought.
“It won’t. These are just precautions. They said her lungs were collapsed. She has some internal injuries and some broken bones. She’s strong. She’ll pull through. I’ll make sure of it,” Eric assured me.
“Stitch if you have to. Why didn’t you stitch before it happened?”
“She ran out of the party with Dylan. We couldn’t keep up with them. We got there too late,” Damien continued, apologizing. “I’m so sorry, man.”
I nodded. Shit happened. I couldn’t blame them. They did all they could. If Eric wasn’t near enough to her, he couldn’t stop her from getting hurt. I knew he would have if he’d been able to keep up with her. I staggered back to my bed and sat down feeling woozy.
“Just rest. You need to relax. What you went through, well… it was pretty terrifying for lack of a better word,” Damien added.
“Why?” I winced as I eased back against my pillows.
“You had a fever. A high one. Even Brandon couldn’t help you while you were under. Adam offered to get Nevron Blackburn here to turn you into a vamp just in case you went south. I figured you’d be too pissed and would rather die than let that happen. So, we just sat here with you for the days you were under—”
“Wait. Days? How many days?” I held up a hand interrupting Eric, silently grateful that they hadn’t gotten Nevron, the overlord’s nephew to turn me. Nevron and I didn’t see eye-to-eye at all. It was a mutual loathing. I’m sure he’d have loved to change me into the thing I hated.
“Nine,” Damien coughed.
“Nine? Nine days?” I choked out.
“Speaking of which, you need to drink something. It was a mess dealing with you. Luckily, Amara did most of it. She’d have made a good Nattie nurse,” Damien said reasonably. “Headmaster Brighton wanted to send you to the infirmary, but Eric, being next in command, thought keeping you here without everyone knowing you were hurt was a better option. Madame Ann has been in and out checking on you in the mornings.”
“And the Order? Do they know?”
“We didn’t tell them. We just said you were busy working and couldn’t be bothered. I took care of all the missions and things,” Eric explained. “But Sangrey isn’t dumb. I think he knows something is going on. You might have to tell them what happened.”
I nodded and drank down the glass of water he handed me before sinking back into my pillows, my guts still churning. As much as I didn’t want them to take her, I knew I had to report it. Maybe. I had to make sure she pulled through first.
“Go to her,” I said tiredly. “Check on her. I can feel her. Come to me immediately if she needs me.”
“You know I will.” Damien grasped my hand before disappearing.
“So,” Eric said, walking forward and looking out my bedroom window. “It’s true.”
“Yeah,” I answered softly.
“Are you afraid?”
“Only for her. I don’t want her to become a victim. When I was talking to her that night, I could feel her terror at what was happening. She doesn’t want to die. The fact that I was able to prevent it is astounding. I felt her dying. Everything around us felt distant.” I shook my head. “It’s hard to explain. It was like we were here… yet not. I’ve never encountered a soul like that before, but I felt hers.” I grew quiet, my anger beginning to blanket me. “I’m such a jerk. I wanted to kill her before. When I saw her lying there…” my voice trailed off as I became choked up.
“I get it that you want to protect her now, but it nearly killed you.” Eric turned and looked at me sadly.
“I can’t really die either.” I chuckled softly, pushing my tears back. I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t. “I mean I can. But she can bring me back, too. At least that’s how I think it works.”
“And if it doesn’t?” Eric’s gaze leveled on me.
“I’ll be fine. We’re a circle. Infinity. Forever. Always,” I answered, my voice barely above a whisper.
“So… what are you going to do now? No more thoughts on murdering the girl while she sleeps?”
“No. I’m going to keep her safe.” I swallowed hard. “I need to get her here. I’m going to the Order to let them know what she is—what we are. It’s the only way to get the ball rolling on getting her here at Dementon. You know she’ll be safer here than anywhere else.”
Eric nodded without saying anything.
“I’m worried sick about her. She’s mine, you know?” I cleared my throat and stared guiltily at him. “I feel for her. And I hate that I do. I don’t want to. But it’s there, tearing me apart. How can you hate someone you care so much for?” Admitting it out loud caused me to close my eyes in an effort to hold back the dam of tears threatening to erupt. When I’d composed myself enough, I opened my eyes. The skin on my wrist prickled. Without looking at it, I turned my focus back to Eric.
“You’re in some shit, man.” Eric came and sat on the chair beside my bed, his blue eyes focused on me. “Do you even know what you want?”
“Not really,” I sighed helplessly. “I just know that I won’t kill her. And I know that I don’t want to drag her into this. But I know that I can never be with her, no matter how much my soul begs for me to be.” Swallowing hard, I fist my sheet in my hands. I wished I could get over everything, and I wished it wasn’t so dangerous for us to be together. “I know I should let her go. I know that I don’t want to tell the Order about our truth, and yet I know it’s the only way to get her here and get her the help she needs. Those are the things I know,” my voice became soft as the words tumbled out.
“Do you want to be with her?” Eric asked gently.
“No,” I said fiercely. “Not like this. I want her to have a choice in it. I’ll never force her. I’ll never pursue her in that way. I can’t. She can never know me.”
“You’re playing with fire,” Eric murmured. “Trying to bring her here. That’s like presenting a side of beef to a starving werewolf. How will you stay away? Especially once the Order knows? She’s going to find out about you.”
“I don’t know,” I said painfully. He was right. Maybe telling the Order wasn’t such a good idea. They’d want her in Conexus. I didn’t want this life for her. If I could keep her out of Conexus, then she’d never know me. Maybe I could just keep up the charade that she was just a normal Special, if there was such a thing. “Honestly, I just want this to go away. I want her to be able to live without being afraid. If she can learn to do that here, then this is where she needs to be. My feelings be damned.”
“Are you going to talk to Amara about all of this? She isn’t going to take it very well if she finds out Everly’s the mancer and you’re the reever. You know that, right?” Eric grew quiet again, as did I. He was right. Amara was going to lose her shit. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to go see Everly as soon as I can,” I answered tightly. “And somewhere in all that, I’m going to break it off with Amara. We haven’t been good in a long time. I’ve always felt I needed to be somewhere else. And now I know why and where. That doesn’t change anything though. It’ll just mean at least Amara won’t be hurt through it all.”
“How do you even know what you feel for Everly is real? That it’s just not part of the Wards?”
“My heart reacts to her.” I chuckled softly, a smile tipping my lips as I imagined her. “Whenever I think about her, it beats madly in my chest. I didn’t realize how much she meant until I saw her lying there in her own blood. But… I still hate her.” The words were thick in my mouth and hard to utter, a complete contradiction to whatever these feelings in my heart were. I was a confused ball of anger. “I care. If that makes any sense. She has to prove me wrong. She deserves that chance.”
Eric’s lip curved up into a knowing smirk, and he nodded.
“I get
you, man. We’ll get her here. And we’ll keep her safe. Then she’ll prove to you that she’s worth it. That girl is a fighter. I knew it the moment I saw her.”
“I just don’t want this for her,” I sighed. “For either of us. And I sure as hell don’t want her to feel obligated to want me if she ever finds out. I don’t want her to know what she is, not in the same manner as we do. She can come here, join the psychic faction, and just learn to control her abilities. She doesn’t need to know more than that. There are plenty of psychics here who have a weak ability to commune with the dead.”
“Not like her though. She’s going to stick out. You know she will.”
“Every great Special sticks out a little bit more than the rest,” I reminded him. “It’s what gets them into Conexus.”
Eric nodded thoughtfully.
“You think that’s a good idea, though?” Eric frowned. “Keeping that from her? What she is?”
“I do,” I nodded. “At least for now. And I want to keep her out of Conexus. The Order is going to want her to join. But I do not want this life for her.”
“You act like our lives are so bad,” Eric chuckled.
“We didn’t get a choice,” I replied. “I want Everly to have a choice.”
“The one you didn’t give Amara?” Eric ventured delicately.
“Yeah,” I answered sourly. “But I wasn’t with Amara when she joined us. I choose our members. Everly will never be one. I couldn’t handle being near her without wanting her.”
Chapter 17
I awoke with a start and a heaviness in my chest, my wrist burning. I rubbed my fingers over the symbol that had finally revealed itself fully. The perfect oval, like a zero, had been on the tender skin of my wrist since birth. Mom used to kiss it, said it made me special, unique. Over time little lines here and there had popped up near it. I’d always wondered if it was some secret message waiting to be decoded. Now it was complete. Two joined zeros, a figure eight. Infinity. The lines were fully connected when I came to after saving Everly.
