Average Joe and the Extraordinaires

by Belart Wright

  Dozz: “Now Modicum’s likes include pretending to be Ronald Weasley, wishing he was Fleez and Dozz and sometimes Byron, girls he can’t have, and an unreachable popularity status. His dislikes include himself, life, not feasting on souls, you, his haircut, his evil soulless ginger body, and having friends that won’t join team Badd Azz. His favorite date spot is his mom and dad’s room cuz that’s where all the magic happens. On his Saturday nights, he likes to make out with his elbows, which is a talent really. You ever try that? It’s very difficult to do. He also builds Taylor Swift idols with his Lego collection, prays for popularity, and watches whole seasons of Glee that he’s personally recorded and sings to. What insane girl here doesn’t want to friend-zone that?”

  A roar of laughter went up from around the lunchroom. That was it, Joe had to get him out of there. He left Fleez where he stood laughing and walked towards Mod’s chair. He looked to his right and saw Kate stomping towards the scene just like yesterday, except this time much angrier. She looked at Joe with murder in her eyes, shook her head, and grabbed her brother by the arm, pulling him from the chair and removing his blindfold.

  Kate: “What are you doing? Get up!”

  Dozz: “Hey, chicky! We were in the middle of a hook-up here.”

  Kate: “You two can do that just fine without my brother. Let’s go, Mod!”

  She pulled and he followed. Joe ran after them this time. Boos reverberated around the lunchroom as they dashed towards the exit.

  Fleez: “It looks like big sister red didn’t approve of you, Meribeth, and if she doesn’t approve then we don’t approve. Sorry, Meribeth, but it looks like you’ve been dumped before you even got to go on a date. Harsh.”

  “Awwww,” offered the crowd.

  Fleez: “Now that was…”

  Fleez and Dozz: “Off the hook!”

  Joe looked back just in time to see Meribeth Hilday break down into tears.

  Chapter 23

  Making Things Right

  Kate was walking down the hallway way too fast. Joe could hardly keep up.

  Joe: “Kate, wait!”

  Kate: “I don’t have a reason to.”

  Those were the first words exchanged by them since the stadium and that made Joe sad. Mod looked trapped and bewildered as Kate pulled him along.

  Joe: “Come on, Kate! Slow down!”

  Kate: “Go away!”

  Joe could hear the hurt in her voice. She was trying to be tough, but her voice had betrayed her and told that she was close to tears. Mod looked from her to Joe, then shrugged Kate off of his arm.

  Mod: “Stop, sis. Wait for him.”

  Both redheads stopped in their tracks. Green eyes stared into blue ones. Kate looked shocked. She then looked like she wanted to slap him. Joe finally managed to catch up to Kate and Mod.

  Joe: “Kate, I’m sorry. I just—”

  Kate: “Yeah, you’re sorry alright. I had to leave my class again to stick up for my brother when he had a perfectly good friend standing next to him doing nothing.”

  Joe: “I didn’t know what to do. I asked Fleez to stop, but he couldn’t control Dozz.”

  Kate: “You’re an idiot. A completely dense, dim-witted, brainless, dolt-headed, idiotic ignoramus. My brother deserves a better friend than you.”

  Mod: “Kate, that’s not fair. This isn’t about me and you know it. You two need to deal with your issues and stop using me as a shield. I’m going to class now.”

  Mod walked away down the hall, leaving silence between Kate and Joe. Once they were done looking after him, Joe glanced at Kate and they connected eyes for a second. It must’ve been a second too long for Kate. She started to run after her brother.

  Joe: “Kate! Please!”

  She stopped.

  Joe: “Mod’s right. We need to talk.”

  Kate’s back was to Joe, and because of that he had to strain to hear her words.

  Kate: “It’s too late for that.”

  Joe walked up to Kate and put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off and pushed him away. Joe’s face was struck with confusion.

  Kate: “You missed your chance. You had all this time to talk to me, but you chose not to.”

  Joe: “I’m sorry, Kate. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. One million and one times I’m sorry.”

  Kate: “Shut up.”

  Joe: “I am a worthless human being that deserves no pity. I should’ve called you, I should’ve written you, I should’ve visited you—”

  Kate: “But you didn’t, even after you came back.”

  Joe was silent. Kate went silent.

  Joe: “I would have if I could have, you know that. You and Mod are my two favorite people on this planet, and that includes my parents and grandparents, sorry to say.”

  Kate: “Really? Well then why aren’t you treating us like it? Even when you came back you didn’t waste any breath on us.”

  Joe: “I’m sorry, it just took a while to adjust to being back.”

  That was true, Joe decided. He hadn’t known why he’d avoided the world for so long until he had just said it. Once Beauty turned over a copy of the stadium tape to the cops, it had only taken a few days for Joe to be set free and cleared to return home. He had cooped himself up in his house with his parents to avoid danger and the media. After that, he continued to tell his parents that he wasn’t ready for school until the second week had passed and he had finally relented to going back because he thought he’d die from boredom. That whole time he hadn’t contacted either Kate or Mod. He had only talked to his grandparents because they had called him.

  Kate shook her head.

  Kate: “For two weeks? That’s insane, Joe, and you know it.”

  It was really selfish, he had to admit, but he didn’t know any other ways to deal with the situation.

  Kate: “You know what I was doing for two weeks?”

  Joe: “Crying.”

  She looked like she wanted to slap him at that moment.

  Kate: “Yes, you big jerk. That’s all I’ve been doing. That, and waiting for you to call me.”

  Her face was red with heat, and tears welled up and fell left then right from her bright blue eyes.

  Joe: “I know, I … Kate, I’m sorry.”

  Kate: “You’ve already said that. Is that all you can say?”

  She sniffled quietly to herself.

  Kate: “You still haven’t told us what happened to you in the stadium.”

  Joe: “If I haven’t told you and Mod what happened yet, then you should know it’s for a good reason. You two are my closest friends.”

  Kate: “That doesn’t make sense.”

  Joe: “It does. Trust me. If anything happened to you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

  Kate: “What?”

  Joe: “I can’t tell you anything about the stadium. It’s honestly to keep you safe.

  Kate: “Fine. I gotta go. I have … class.”

  Joe looked into Kate’s eyes, she looked back at his, then she turned and started walking down the hall.

  Joe: “Kate! I heard you on the radio. You were crying, I could tell. You were hurting, I know. I wish I could take it back.”

  She turned towards him again.

  Joe: “Kate I’m sor— you don’t deserve to be hurt like this. You deserve much better. I don’t want to see you cry anymore.”

  Kate: “I’m late, Joe. I need to go.”

  She walked off down the hall. When she was comfortably out of Joe’s hearing range, she whispered so low so that only she could hear.

  Kate: “Lunkhead.”

  Chapter 24

  The Plot Thickens

  The sun was still out by the time Joe made it home. Leaving school, he was free of all the excess drama that had come from his attendance. He had expected to find a lot more peace of mind at school than he was getting. Not much, but some. Between Fleez and Dozz’s antics, Principal Patrias’ threats, Kate’s emotions, and his needy teachers, school had become a hundr
ed times more stressful. His home was the only place he could find any sort of respite.

  Today, his house was once again empty, and he checked all the rooms this time just to make sure. Today his room door was open and there was no sign of any of his new friends. That actually disappointed him a little. He settled down on his bed and threw his books and folders on the floor and lay down. He had no desire to do homework, but he remembered the principal’s warning. He compromised with himself and decided to go to class early tomorrow to do it all before first bell.

  He was tired from all of the day’s heightened emotions and started to drift to sleep. The cell phone Borland had given him woke him out of his near slumber, vibrating lightly against the side of his left thigh. Joe reached for the phone and answered it.

  Joe: “Hello?”

  A low grumble faintly reached Joe’s ear. He recognized it as Borland.

  Borland: “Tonight. Nine. Get there early. Be alone. Toy Store.”

  There was only one toy store in town, so Joe knew which one Borland wanted to meet at.

  Joe: “Okay.”

  Click. Joe pocketed the phone and rested his head. Slowly, and without realizing it, he drifted off into a quiet and peaceful sleep.

  He awoke frightened and sweaty. His heart was pumping like mad. Dream or nightmare, whichever it might have been, he only had the feelings of it to rely on, and a brief flash of images to remember it by. He remembered seeing Kate and Mod covered in red … red something. Their faces and clothes were drenched in it, painted with it. There was fire too, lots and lots of heat and fire. None of that was what woke him. No, the last thing he had seen was a pair of eyes, silver and blue. They wanted Joe dead. He could tell that much.

  He sat up and checked his clock. It was already 8:47pm. He had overslept by twenty-seven minutes longer than he’d wanted. Why didn’t I just set my alarm, he lamented.

  He threw on his shoes, a thin hoodie, grabbed his keys, then headed out. He bumped into his parents on the way out, but was in too much of a hurry to hear what they were saying to him. He told them he’d be back and rushed off to his car.

  He made it to the toy store parking lot with no time to spare. A slim and ripped youth sat on a motorbike, clad in leather pants, a white tank-top, and fingerless black leather gloves. He wore a vest over his tank-top and sported a pink mohawk. He looked like a member of Fleez and Dozz’s Team Badd Azz. He regarded Joe through large orange-tinted sunglasses.

  Mohawked Youth: “Get ovah here, ya git’! We don’ have time ta wa-easte!”

  He spoke with a strong English accent as he pointed towards his bike.

  Mohawked Youth: “Put on ye helmet an’ don’ toss it away this toime. We need ta hide ya.”

  This time? That could only mean that this punk from 1984 was Beauty.

  Joe: “You’re looking very rock and roll tonight. The mohawk brings out the color in your eyes.”

  Joe laughed, and even the punk couldn’t hide his grin.

  Mohawked Youth: “Don’t worry your pret-ey lit-el ‘ead ‘bout that one. Neh-ow let’s ‘urry it up!”

  Joe put on his helmet and climbed up on the bike behind the kid. They drove off into the night on Beauty's now-pink bike, going probably three times the legal speed limit. Beauty drove a few towns over and they arrived at a park. Joe could hardly see his own two feet as they walked through the grass. Beauty led the way. She was just a shadow in front of Joe, and at some point had become a girl again. Joe couldn’t tell when she’d transformed, but could tell that she was in her normal form.

  They walked past the playground and to the baseball diamond. Then passed that up for the bleachers. That’s where they found Borland, in a gray suit to match his hair. He was sitting on the stands, apparently waiting.

  Borland: “Took you two long enough.”

  Beauty: “This one looks to have overslept.”

  Joe: “Sorry.”

  Borland: “It makes no nevermind. Were either of you watched?”

  Beauty: “We wouldn’t be here if we were, but Joe might’ve had a tail before we met up.”

  Joe: “No way!”

  Borland ignored Joe.

  Borland: “Are you sure, Liandra?”

  What did Borland just call her? Liandra? Who was that?

  Beauty: “I’m not certain. If there was a tail, they left as soon as they saw me.”

  Joe: “Your name’s Liandra? How come you never told me?”

  Beauty: “You never properly asked. Besides, I like Beauty a lot better anyways. I think it fits perfectly.”

  Joe: “It’d be rude to call you anything other than your name … Liandra.”

  She smiled at that, which caused Joe to blush.

  Borland: “It’s okay, as long as they didn’t make it here, but we’ll have to take note of them soon. Now come up here.”

  Joe walked behind Beauty, a.k.a. Liandra, up the steps of the bleachers to Borland, who was near the middle. Once they were settled, Borland spoke up.

  Borland: “I must first thank you, Joe, and commend you for your bravery in deciding to stay and help us.”

  Joe: “No problem, Mr. Borland. My mom and pop always taught me to do the right thing.”

  Borland: “They raised you well. Your help will take us a long way, but to a certain extent puts you in a little danger. I’ll do my best to protect you—”

  Liandra: “As will I.”

  Joe: “Thank you both. But if I’m in danger, what about my family and friends?”

  Liandra: “No harm should befoul any of them, but I’ll be around should someone try.”

  Joe: “I’m not quite sure what befoul means, but thank you.”

  Borland: “That’s all well and good. Now I must ask you both an important question. Have either of you seen or had contact with my girls, Melissa and Dahlila? Dahlila hasn’t contacted me and I’m starting to fear that they’ve been … recaptured. There aren’t too many places they could’ve gone. Alone, they don’t have much of a chance.”

  Liandra spoke up first and fast.

  Liandra: “I haven’t come across your girls. Once they’re safe and sound, I’ll let you know.”

  Borland: “How about you, Joe? Have you seen either of them?”

  Joe was hesitant, but luckily Beauty—er—Liandra seemed to sense that.

  Liandra: “He hasn’t either. He told me earlier.”

  Liandra and Joe exchanged looks and Joe followed her lead.

  Borland: “Is that true, Joe?”

  Joe: “Yes sir, yes it is.”

  Liandra: “He tells it true, Borland. I’d know if he was lying.”

  Borland looked resigned. He looked like the old man he was for the first time.

  Borland: “It can’t be helped, I suppose. I just wish that my old badge could do something, like helping find these girls.”

  Joe: “It’s okay, sir. Together, both of them can make it for as long as they need to. Both are smart and much craftier than most people, from what I’ve seen.”

  Borland couldn’t help but grin at that.

  Borland: “You’re a smart boy. I taught Dahlila how to fight, and she’s a natural survivor, and that Melissa girl ain’t no slouch either. To survive what that girl has survived, a person has to have incredible willpower.”

  Joe: “Yeah, they’ll be okay.”

  Borland: “I pray you’re right.”

  There was silence.

  Liandra: “Now, as for the real reason for this secret gathering. You might want to get comfortable, gentlemen. I had a handful of reasons for being in the stadium the day of the explosion. For one, I made it.”

  Joe and Borland: “What!”

  Liandra: “What? There were no fatalities from the bomb. The only casualties were caused by the men in black suits. I didn't know they would be so desperate to use guns in a public stadium.”

  Borland fumed and brooded quietly as Liandra told the rest of her tale. Joe’s mouth was stuck wide open.

  Liandra: “Now, as for the why
… I was there to find out the dirty dealings of Stevinn Blonsky and his circle, and to get your girl Dahlila out.”

  Joe: “But there was another guy there besides Blonsky; he seemed scarier.”

  Borland: “Yeah, the gray-haired man you told me about. You said he was calling the shots up above on the field. Liandra, what do you make of that?”

  She looked disinterested.

  Liandra: “Probably some no-name stadium pencil pusher.”

  Borland seemed to be studying her the whole time she talked.

  Borland: “You’re a terrible liar. Who is this guy?”

  Joe interrupted.

  Joe: “Grabas is what Melissa called him. She said she’s definitely a bad guy too.”

  Borland: “When did she say that?”

  Joe cursed his idiotic mouth.

  Joe: “When we came up on the field.”

  Borland: “So who is he, Liandra?”

  Liandra: “I’m getting there, don’t rush me now. As I was saying, I had met the blonde girl, Dahlila, after I had crossed paths with the both of you, Borland. You never told me what you two were doing there.”

  Borland: “And I don’t plan on it.”

  Liandra: “Come on, I’m spilling my guts to you here! Besides, you owe me. I saved your girl.”

  Borland: “I don’t owe you anything but I am grateful and my reasons for being there aren’t exactly top secret. Even Blonsky knows it by now. We were there investigating Blonsky. He’s been transporting a lot of heavy stuff around this city and we wanted to know what.”

  Liandra: “Stuff like people right? And some weird chemicals.”

  Borland: “Yeah, how did you know?”

  Liandra: “We’ve probably been pursuing the same beat.”

  Borland looked at her icily and rubbed his chin.

  Liandra: “What’s going on with that Melissa girl? Why was she there?”

  Borland: “I don’t know. We got a tip that she would be a part of one of the shipments going to the stadium. It was hard to believe that anybody would try to ship people illegally into a public stadium like that. It was my first time hearing that a kid was involved in this savagery so we pursued Blonsky extra hard. Nothing turned up from all that so I started to doubt the tip.”