Average Joe and the Extraordinaires

by Belart Wright

  Silence fell over the crowd. Shortly after that came thunderous applause. It was the loudest by far. It was strange to see people, who earlier might have torn him to shreds, now cheering for him. It was a great feeling of validation for him. He had set out only to do the right thing, and it felt good to be praised for it. He had an overwhelming urge to bow and to cast himself into the crowd like a righteous rocker in a mosh-pit. Now wasn’t the time for that however.

  Something caught his eye, or maybe it’d be more apt to say nothing caught his eye. It was the stillness amidst a sea of moving hands and bodies that gave him pause and allowed him to see the danger.

  Joe: “HE’S GOT A GUN!”

  Chapter 30

  Of Killers and Lizards

  The moment was surreal. It seemed like no one was moving. The crowd was still, the governor was still; heck, even the air seemed at a standstill as everyone held their collective breath. Unfortunately, the governor’s security detail was the most still, almost to the point of being catatonic.

  It seemed to Joe that only he and this gunman were the only ones in motion, and they were directly competing. Unfortunately for Joe, he was no good at competition. His early attempts at grade school sports were a testament to that. He could only hope against hope that he’d come out of this with his life. His declaration of danger had silenced the crowd, the deafening CRACK of the assassin’s gun had sent them all into a frenzy. They parted like the Red Sea and scattered away from the scene as best they could.

  Joe lay on the ground in a daze. He looked over to his left and saw the governor with a horrorstruck look frozen upon his face. That caused him to worry until he saw the man start to move. Joe hadn’t seen the face of the assassin, and if he was quick and lucky enough he wouldn’t have to.

  Joe: “Come on, Governor, we have to go!”

  The governor quickly snapped out of his daze and got to his knees. They both ducked low behind the podium.

  Everstone: “Stay low. We’ll go out the back.”

  A loud CRACK hissed through the air, followed by a hole in the middle part of the podium. Joe felt the bullet cut hotly through the air above him. Splinters fell atop his and Everstone’s heads.

  Everstone: “It’s now or never, kid, we got to go!”

  Joe: “Right! Let’s go!”

  Throwing caution to the wind, they took off as fast as they could, making sure to keep their heads as low as possible. As they were running, Joe heard another gunshot, this one softer-sounding, followed by another loud CRACK from whoever was shooting before. Neither bullet came anywhere near Joe or Governor Everstone. Once they were behind the curtains, Everstone yelled something about his lax security and told Joe that they needed to keep moving.

  They continued running for what had to be two or three minutes. When they finally stopped they found themselves in a large tent surrounded by people. They were in the middle of some sort of reptile convention. The people here were unaffected by the drama that had occurred only down the road. There was enough noise from the people, announcers, and exhibits to drown out distant gunshots.

  They waited, trying as best they could to blend in with the reptile enthusiasts around them. They pretended to be preoccupied with the collector’s exhibits, all the while glancing around for more signs of danger. Joe found solace here even amongst this deadly collection of the world’s most exotic reptiles, and they stood around for what felt like ten or fifteen minutes before the governor sent and received a text message. He sighed and wiped his brow after he read it.

  Everstone: “It’s over.”

  The governor wiped his brow and bought a dull little pocket knife from a nearby vendor and handed it to Joe.

  Everstone: “This is yours hero. It’s a souvenir.”

  Chapter 31

  Meet the Press

  Joe and Governor John Everstone left the somewhat safe confines of the reptile convention and walked all the way back towards the Courtyard. The security guards came to escort him, but Everstone shooed them away.

  Everstone: “You picked a damn fine time to try to be useful. Get away from me! The lot of you are useless! And fired! Where’s Robert?”

  One of the confused-looking guards pointed straight ahead, and that’s when Joe saw him. Joe nearly screamed.

  Everstone: “Robert! Robert!”

  Everstone walked brusquely, so fast in fact that Joe nearly had to jog to keep pace. I should be running the other way, he told himself. I need to warn them all.

  Joe: “Governor … Governor Ever—”

  They were right in front of the man now. His features were unmistakable. His hair was gray, nearly silver, and light enough that it was probably once blonde. He didn’t look old at all except for his hair. His slacks matched his hair and his tie matched his eyes, which were a pale blue color that sometimes looked silver depending on how you looked at him. His eyes were what Joe remembered the most from their brief encounter at the stadium. Now, though, the man’s demeanor was totally different.

  Joe: “Grabas…”

  Robert: “Yes, that’s me. How’d you know? I usually stay behind the camera and let the governor do all the talking.”

  He smiled and offered his hand to Joe. Joe reluctantly shook it weakly.

  Joe: “I…”

  Robert: “Thank you for saving the governor’s life. He’s important to the future of this great state, and even though he doesn’t know it yet, the world. I can see that now.”

  He patted Joe on the shoulder.

  Everstone: “Robert, that security was lousy. I just fired them all.”

  Robert: “Yes, it was bizarre. They all just stood there like they were petrified or something.”

  Everstone: “We’ll need new security. Don’t get them from the bargain bin this time. My supporters can spring for some top of the line security, and after today I want the best.”

  Robert: “Well, sir, maybe we can just hire this young man here to protect you. He did such a great job today.”

  He smiled over towards Joe, who shuddered under his skin.

  Everstone: “I’m considering it. He did much better than that slop you had guarding me. I should fire you right along with them.”

  Robert: “I’m glad you haven’t yet, and I do apologize from the bottom of my heart for such a failure on my part. My mistake was placing so much faith in our head of security. I thought he was up to the task.”

  Everstone: “He won’t have his job for much longer.”

  Robert: “I’ll get right on it, sir.”

  Everstone: “No! I want to do that myself. I’ll have the lot of them put under investigation.”

  Robert: “Okay, sir. The press is waiting for you.”

  Everstone: “They’ll have to wait longer. I need to assess the damage. Come on, Joe! Follow me.”

  Joe: “I—um … yes sir.”

  Joe followed behind the governor as the man walked over to a large gathering of police officers. Joe saw another familiar face, the man Borland called Carl. He had more gray hair than the last time Joe had seen him, and rings under his eyes. He looked like he desperately needed some sleep, but besides that he was A-OK. Joe was glad the man was still alive. The last time he had seen him was under a hail of bullets at the police station.

  Carl: “You can’t stay out of trouble, can you, kid?”

  Both he and Joe laughed.

  Joe: “It’s good to see you, sir.”

  Carl: “You mean alive, right? I’m not dying that easily.”

  Everstone: “You get around, don’t you, Joe?”

  Joe tried to shrug as nonchalantly as he could.

  Everstone: “How bad is it, Lieutenant?”

  Carl: “No civvies were hurt, if that’s what you mean. We’re still trying to piece everything together. We don’t have a clear motive yet, and so far it doesn’t look like we’ll get one. We’ll need Joe here to help us figure out what happened, since he was the first one to notice the shooter.”

  Joe looked astonished. He
was already tired of all the attention.

  Everstone: “You guys get the culprit?”

  Carl: “In a manner of speaking, yes. Though he won’t be giving any statements anytime soon.”

  Everstone: “What happened?”

  Carl: “A former officer, Hank Borland, had to put the shooter down after he had you both pinned down on stage.”

  Everstone: “I see. Another good deed from a citizen. Well, thank you, Lieutenant. Now let’s get these statements out of the way.”

  Carl: “Okay, follow me.”

  They followed him to a pair of younger detectives, who asked about the details surrounding the shooting. Joe’s mind was drawing a blank, but his mouth was incredibly spitting out the details of it all flawlessly, details he was surprised he even knew.

  Detective: “That’s all?”

  Joe: “Yes, sir.”

  Detective: “Well, kid, I may not be the first, and I definitely won’t be the last to say this, but you’re a hero. I’ll see you around.”

  After that the governor walked him over to a bench, where they sat for a while. Joe was still in a daze, not sure if everything around him was real.

  Everstone: “Robert, say hello to Joe the hero, the boy who saved my life haha. That’s what the papers are going to read.”

  Robert Grabas, the governor’s apparent aide, walked up lazily and offered a mocking hand and smile, even though they had clearly met already a few minutes ago.

  Robert: “Hello, Joe the hero. I have a young son that’s around your age. You remind me a lot of him. I’d love for you to meet him one day. Maybe some of your greatness will rub off on him … if I’m lucky anyway.”

  Did he mean Jonathan? Joe thought. He had to. It made sense. Jonathan had the same last name as him. That connection was a little too close to home for his liking. Jonathan was a childhood friend, but they hadn’t talked in a while, mainly because Jonathan was—well—dead. The way Grabas was acting didn’t make sense. It was common knowledge in Orangetown that Jonathan was dead. Why would he lie? he wondered. He shook Grabas’ hand, which was a tough thing to do for Joe, considering that the man probably wanted both he and the governor dead. Heck, he may have even killed his son years ago.

  Everstone: “Now that we’re all friends, I have one more favor for you, Joe. Let’s go and tell all these wonderful cameras how much of a hero you are. You don’t know it, but you’re going to bring big things to this town.”

  In a way he already had.

  Chapter 32

  The Olive Branch

  It had taken forever, but Joe finally managed to calm down. He lay down, remaining perfectly still for what seemed like an hour, but it could’ve easily been two hours. He made sure to enjoy all of the quiet while he could. He had barely slept last night, and even the few hours of sleep he got were fretful.

  He contemplated getting up, but that required too much effort. He flipped over to his stomach and tried to lie like that.

  Joe: “Ow! Stupid cellphone.”

  Joe pulled his red smart-phone from his pocket and instinctively reached for the other one, until he remembered that Borland had snatched it in a rage yesterday. From what Joe could tell, the man was mad that Joe had even gotten on stage with the doomed politician. He said that Joe had played right into the bad guys' hands by doing that, and put his own life in danger. He said they had most likely tried to take Joe and the governor out in one fell swoop.

  Borland reserved the bulk of his anger on the subject of all the interviews Joe had given. He told Joe that he was making his own bull’s-eye bigger. Joe had only done the interviews because the governor had insisted, and for his part Everstone had given Joe nothing but praise during the multitude of interviews. Joe himself barely said anything, only backing up the governor when needed. His parents had become a bit fanatical. They had set out to record every one of his interviews. He had done one for each of the big news stations.

  In the distance he could hear the antiquated ring of the house phone, which was a rare annoyance to hear. It rang for a while, until he heard the low voice of his mother. After a few more moments, she yelled up to him high and loud.

  Mrs. Black: “JOE TE-LE-PHONE!”

  He lazily shifted to a semi-seated position and reached for his slippers.

  Joe: “Okay, Mom!”

  Anyone he wanted to talk to would’ve called his cell phone. He was already dreading the call. He shuffled down the stairs in no particular rush, and his mom handed him the phone with a smile on her face.

  Mrs. Black: “Don’t worry, it’s good news.”

  He put the phone to his ear.

  Joe: “Hello?”

  Patrias: “Ah hello, Joseph! It’s good to hear that you’re okay after all that happened yesterday. What a mess that was!”

  Joe remained silent. Patrias’ false courtesy was annoying, or maybe it was real courtesy. Either way, Joe wanted to slam the phone down and hang up on the man.

  Patrias: “What you did yesterday was a wonderful act, and in my opinion totally deserves a reward. That’s why I want to end your suspension and welcome you back with open arms.”

  Joe remembered his last conversation with the governor, how he had promised to get Joe’s suspension lifted. Patrias was just playing nice because his bosses told him to. Joe figured he could use that to turn the situation in his favor.

  Joe: “What about Mod? Can he come back with me? I would have a tough time without my best friend backing me up.”

  Joe could imagine the smile on Patrias’ face fading.

  Patrias: “Well, that wasn’t agreed upon.”

  Joe: “By who? Me and you? Or you and your boss? Well, if that’s the case I think I’ll just enjoy my time off.”

  Patrias: “Yes, yes. I see, I see. You are much smarter than I gave you credit for. Tell your friend Mod that he is welcome back along with you. I expect both of you to report back bright and early Monday morning.”

  Joe: “That sounds good, thanks.”

  Joe hung up before the principal could initiate any more chat. Maybe I should’ve asked for more, he thought, like a handicap to getting off the zero tolerance list. He shrugged to himself. Just then his mom walked up with two cups of tea in her hands. She handed one to Joe, which he gratefully accepted.

  Joe: “Thanks, Ma!”

  She nodded her head and took a sip of her drink.

  Mrs. Black: “So it sounds like Mr. Patrias is on the Joe bandwagon now too.”

  Joe: “I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure he still hates me, but the governor said he’d make some calls to help me out.”

  Mrs. Black: “The governor! You two are close like that?”

  Joe: “Well, you know, I did kind of save his life.”

  Joe grinned as he said that and his mother chuckled.

  Mrs. Black: “Noted, Mr. Smarty-pants. Well, dinner’s here early. I picked up some takeout from the buffet. Most of it is stuff you like.”

  Joe’s mouth started to water at the thought of that.

  Joe: “Oh wow, the buffet! Thanks, Mom.”

  Mrs. Black: “Eat up, champ. I have to get back to the store to sort out this order. Your dad should be back soon.”

  She kissed his forehead and made for the side door.

  Joe: “Have fun…”

  She looked at him and dramatically rolled her eyes.

  Mrs. Black: “Never mind that. You just try to stay out of trouble. You may be a hero to everyone else now, but you’re still my little boy. If anything happens to you I’ll … you just be good, okay?”

  She turned her head and wiped her face with her shirt collar.

  Joe: “I’ll try.”

  Mrs. Black: “I suppose that’s the best I could ask for.”

  With that, she was out the door, and soon after drove off. Joe couldn’t stand making a woman cry, especially his mom. It just hit him how worried she must’ve been for him this whole time. That made him think about Kate and her tears. So he called her. He also called Mod to give
him the news of his reentry. He sounded less than thrilled about it.

  ************

  Joe found himself excited to go back to school after a restful weekend where he did nothing but eat and watch T.V. He rushed through breakfast and couldn’t remember what he ate to save his life. He felt that new paths were opening up to him and suddenly his normally boring life didn’t seem so bleak.

  He picked Mod up in front of his house like they had agreed. The bruises and welts on Mod’s face had healed well. They were nearly gone now. Mod sat down in the car looking rather somber.

  Joe: “What’s wrong with you?”

  Mod: “Nothing, just been thinking…”

  He closed the door after he seated himself.

  Joe: “‘Bout what?”

  Mod: “A lot of stuff, but mainly about how we got suspended.”

  Joe: “Oh that … well what happened, happened.”

  Joe drove off down the street enjoying the cool air pouring in from his lowered windows.

  Mod: “Yeah, well, it could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t been acting like a bucket-head.”

  Joe: “The video was wrong, but that’s only because you humiliated Fleez and Dozz’s families too.”

  Mod: “Yeah I know. That’s what I’ve been thinking about. I crossed the line by putting them in it. Comedy is comedy until it turns malicious. I took it too far because I was out for blood. I wanted to hurt them so bad for what they did to me and Meribeth. I wanted them to feel that embarrassment tenfold. That’s no excuse though. Today I’m going to find them and apologize to them, if they’re here.”

  Joe: “Wow, that’s mighty big of you. Knowing Patrias, they’ll be here. He hates me enough to bring them back on the same day.”

  It took them no time at all to make it to school, which was barely populated since it was still so early. They both waited near the front doors for Fleez and Dozz. Eventually they got their wish when the duo walked up in their customary Team Badd Azz vests and tight jeans.