Ted Saves the World

by Bryan Cohen

  Chapter 14

  Ted woke up to the sound of a news van backing up in his driveway. He sat up and attempted to move his hair into its proper direction while looking out the window. Most of the reporters and cameramen had left overnight, but they were shuffling back in before he went to school. Perhaps they were trying to get a quote, even though he'd stonewalled them most of the previous day. Maybe they wanted to catch him tripping or cussing or forgetting to put on underwear. The question they asked him the most as he walked inside was the one he was sure he'd get in school, as well.

  "Can you show us your powers?"

  He looked over at his phone and reached in its direction.

  "Let's see if it was a 24-hour superhero bug."

  He attempted to float it over while suppressing a yawn. The phone hovered off the table and disconnected from the charger. He tried to guide it into his hand, but the yawn burst out of his mouth and the phone dropped beside the bed.

  "Dang it."

  He made a second attempt, lifting the phone off the ground and letting it float upward. He used his mind to swipe the screen and take a bedhead selfie. He laughed when he saw it.

  "Dhiraj would kill me if I posted that."

  He was tempted, but instead he brushed his teeth and got dressed. With an hour and a half left before he had to leave, Ted used his time to do what he figured most famous teens did every day. He searched his own name online.

  Ted found countless news stories and a link to the video from Page's. He also read opinion pieces trying to determine if he'd faked the entire operation with the thugs' help. It got darker from there. He scanned multiple blog posts that talked about locking him up until they figured out what he was. They called him a vigilante and a freak. While many social media trends praised his heroism, the other side had gotten over a thousand people to tweet out "#GoHomeAlien." Ted's hands shook on the keyboard. It took the smell of the toaster downstairs to tear him away from the hateful posts.

  Aside from the noise of the gathering pack of reporters outside, breakfast was pretty normal. Ted's mother gave him his usual toaster pastry and glass of orange juice. His father sipped a cup of coffee and read the sports section. His mom sent her daily early morning text to Ted's sister, Christina, who was hundreds of miles away at college. She likely wouldn't return the text for at least three hours, but it was just part of the Finley family routine. After his mom buttered her toast and sat down, his dad put down his paper.

  "Ted, we have a few questions we need to ask you about yesterday," he said.

  "Alright," Ted said through a mouthful of fruit filling.

  "Your father and I need you to be honest with us. And we promise that what you say will stay between the two of us."

  Ted washed down his breakfast with the juice and nodded.

  "You're not going to ask if I'm an alien, right?"

  "Of course not, honey," his mother said. "We changed enough of your diapers to know that you're as human as they come."

  The muscles in Ted's neck relaxed.

  "Good," he said. "What are your questions?"

  His father cleared his throat.

  "Were you struck by a nuclear weapon?"

  Ted gave his father a sideways glance.

  "No."

  "Did you inject yourself with a super serum?" his mother asked.

  Ted's eyes opened wider.

  "I've never injected myself with anything."

  Ted's father took out a pad of paper and crossed out the second of many items.

  "Were you bitten? Did you put on a glowing ring? Was there a lightning strike?"

  Ted clenched his teeth.

  "No to all three. Why are you guys asking me all of this?"

  His parents shared a look.

  "We were trying to find out more about your… condition," his mother said. "So we did some online searching about superheroes. Did you survive a train crash?"

  Ted chewed the last bite of his toaster pastry.

  "Mom. Dad. I promise that what I've already told you is all I know."

  The two of them nodded. His mother got up from the table to grab him his lunch.

  "However you got the powers, I'm sure you can make good use of them," she said.

  "And know what we'll love you even if you have to miss dinner to face super villains sometimes," his father said.

  Ted could hardly believe his father’s straight face.

  "Good to know," he said.

  Ted took the lunch bag and kissed his mother and father. He closed the door to the garage behind him.

  "And I've made my parents go insane."

  Ted waited until he was in his car with the doors locked to open the garage door. After he pulled out, it didn't take long for the reporters to file in and surround his vehicle. Ted blared his favorite classic rock station, turned his wheel, and began to back up. Given the lack of room behind him, his father gave him permission to drive on the lawn to get around the mob of vans. His dad said he'd talk to the township that day to see if he could get everybody off their property. As Ted backed onto the lawn, he realized he didn't have quite enough room to get out without hitting either one of the vans or a small lamppost in the front yard. He decided to get what he wanted by giving the reporters a little show.

  Ted turned down the music slightly and held out his hand. His first efforts to move the van backward a few feet were unsuccessful. The van lurched a little bit, but even with his powers, the parking brake wouldn't budge.

  "Having performance issues?" one reporter yelled through the window.

  The others who heard him laughed. Ted blushed. He pictured the parking brake, saw it being released, and moved the gear shifter to neutral. On his second attempt, the van moved with ease. The reporter who'd mocked Ted dropped his microphone as the van rolled back, hitting the front bumper of the van behind it. One cameraman who'd caught Ted's powers on tape stared at the van with his mouth agape.

  "Sorry about that!" Ted said through the window with a smile, as he put his own car into first gear and pulled out of the driveway.

  Ted expected a madhouse at school as well, but Principal Stoll put a stop to that. He had a makeshift gate set up that only allowed students to enter. All reporters were turned away. The principal was personally supervising the gate when Ted pulled up. While Principal Stoll wasn't a big man, he was the kind of person who always seemed to have control.

  "If it isn't our little hero," Principal Stoll said. "You know, I wasn't even sure who you were until I checked the yearbooks."

  Ted had never been sent to the principal's office.

  "That's a good thing, right?"

  Principal Stoll grinned as if he knew something Ted didn’t.

  "Agreed. Let's keep it that way, Mr. Finley. Move along."

  Ted pulled into his parking space. While the principal's gate kept out the reporters, it didn't stop his classmates from bombarding him with questions. Five students mobbed him as soon as he stepped out of his car.

  "Are you going to try out for the football team?"

  "Can you read my mind?"

  "Did… everything become super? You know what I mean."

  Ted had never dreamed of this much attention. He answered each question as honestly as he could for the entire length of the parking lot. The questions continued to come as he entered the school. Of the 1,500 kids in Treasure High, Ted felt like he responded to at least half of them that morning. Those who didn't ask him questions posed for selfies with him. As he approached his locker, he heard the sound of a small object whizzing through the air. Ted turned to see a cell phone being hurled toward him. He put up his hand to protect himself and the phone flew the opposite direction, smashing into pieces against a row of lockers.

  "My phone!"

  Ted recognized the voice of the phone owner as none other than Jason Torello. He was standing right next to his brother Phil and several other kids on the luckier end of the genetic spectrum. Jason pushed through the crowd and walked right up to Ted. Years of tor
ment from Jason and his friends made Ted flinch to be that close to him.

  "I thought you'd just make it float, man," Jason said.

  Ted shook his head.

  "Not if you throw it at my face, man."

  The onlookers laughed. A wave of clapping began and Ted had no idea how to react. He'd never experienced the support of the crowd. The cheers made Ted stand a little straighter. He saw Jason look at the crowd as well. The twin whispered into Ted's ear.

  "You're paying for that," he said. "Or we're gonna reenact sixth grade."

  Ted suppressed his fear. If he could take on a bunch of armed thugs, surely he could fight off Jason Torello. Ted held up his hand, and Jason began to slide backwards. His sneakers made a squeaking sound as they slid.

  "Hey, what're you doing?" Jason asked.

  The mob laughed again, this time directly at Jason, and Ted looked up their adoring faces. For a second, he thought he saw Natalie among them, but when he focused in, it was someone different entirely. His chest tightened and Jason slid to a stop in his original position.

  "I'm not paying for the phone you threw at me. What do you think, everyone? Should I have to pay for Jason's phone?"

  The resounding "no" made Jason grab his brother and start to walk toward the math hallway. Before the Torellos got out of earshot, Ted could hear Jason whisper something under his breath.

  "Go home, alien."

  The crowd cheered Ted's victory. A few seconds later, the assistant principal dispersed the audience, and Ted opened his locker. Before he could enjoy his triumph, Ted heard a voice on the other side of the locker door.

  "Three million hits," Dhiraj said.

  Ted closed the locker slightly to see his friend standing there with a goofy grin.

  "What had three million hits? Your podcast?"

  Dhiraj moved to the other side of the locker.

  "I wish," Dhiraj said. "No, TedFinley.com."

  "I told you before, I don't need a website."

  Ted gathered up the books for his first two periods and stuffed them in his backpack.

  "That was then. You're a hero, Ted. You had five subscribers to your mailing list before."

  "I didn't even know I had a mailing list," Ted said, as he shut the locker and started walking.

  "You do. And now you have 30,000 subscribers. We need to figure out what to tell them."

  The warning bell resounded throughout the hallway. Everybody beside them picked up their pace.

  "How about you tell them the same thing I've told all the reporters?"

  "What's that?" Dhiraj asked.

  "No comment."

  Ted felt a familiar set of eyes upon him and stopped moving. He was still a few doors down from his classroom, but he had to see if it was really her. The girl who stared at him had long, beautiful curls and an outfit that barely met school regulations. Her eyes locked with his. Ted thought Erica LaPlante looked as good as the day she disappeared. She waved, smiled and walked in the other direction. Ted continued to stare for a few seconds until Dhiraj pinched his neck.

  "Ow," Ted said, slapping Dhiraj's fingers away.

  "What was that all about?" Dhiraj asked.

  "I don't know. I really don't know."

  "Looks like being a hero has its perks."

  Ted wondered if Dhiraj was right as the two of them walked toward homeroom.