Ted Saves the World

by Bryan Cohen

  Chapter 22

  Nigel took a deep, satisfied breath as he watched Tank pace back and forth in the cell. It was easy to tell a younger spirit, even once it had crossed over to human form. On the other side, Nigel had been involved in this war for hundreds of years. He knew that a few hours or days here and there weren't worth much.

  "Can you sit down?" Yarrick asked from the other side of the cell. "You're giving me bad headache."

  Tank looked up at Yarrick and slammed his fist into the wall. The blow left a crack and little pebbles of concrete tumbled to the ground.

  "The next one could be aimed at your head, human," Tank said, before he resumed his pacing.

  "If you were not alien, I would do more than ask nicely," Yarrick said.

  Tank continued to stew.

  "I'm not an alien. I'm from a different world. A stronger one. We deserve to take this place from all of you and we deserve it now."

  Yarrick laughed.

  "We are the same. Both in a cell."

  Tank lunged for Yarrick, but Nigel easily stepped in between the two. Tank momentarily considered striking his superior, but it didn't take long for that thought to evaporate and turn into fear. Nigel motioned for Tank to sit down on the other bed next to the dozing Carter. While he wasn't happy about it, Tank listened and sat.

  "No need to rouse the guards, gentlemen."

  "Nigel, you and I could break us out of here no problem," Tank said. "Why are we waiting?"

  Nigel cleared his throat.

  "I don't want any more surprises. We need to find out more before we continue the plan."

  "No disrespect, boss," Yarrick said. "Without newspaper and internet, how will we find out more?"

  That's when Nigel felt the energy enter the building. Someone powerful was here, and it didn't feel like the boy.

  "Seek and ye shall find, Yarrick."

  As if on cue, a guard approached the cell door. He was as large as Yarrick, though Nigel could feel his apprehension through the bars. His reputation as some kind of supervillain had spread.

  "Nigel, you have a visitor."

  Nigel nodded to his cellmates. Yarrick looked impressed, but Tank seemed half-ready to charge the guard.

  "Don't worry, everyone. I'll be back. Hopefully with a cake that has a crowbar baked inside."

  Yarrick laughed as the guard slapped on a pair of handcuffs and led Nigel into the hallway. The old Nigel had been in the sheriff's cell before for little crimes here and there. It was like his home away from home. He almost felt sentimental when he stepped into the interrogation room.

  He noticed Sheriff Norris right away, but the lawman wasn't the one who caught his attention. He wasn't the one with the power. Sitting in a chair facing him was a cute teenage girl. She wasn't even old enough to vote in this world, though her knowing eyes said she could do more than most humans.

  "Sending a little girl to save the day, it's a bold move," Nigel said.

  The guard sat Nigel down across from the girl. She continued to stare right into his eyes.

  "I'll leave the two of you alone," the sheriff said, as he motioned for the guard to leave the room.

  "You sure, sheriff?" the guard asked.

  "Trust me."

  The two men left the room and Nigel put his feet on the desk. The girl smiled.

  "If I remember correctly, a little girl started this whole business in the first place."

  Nigel's smile faded. He pulled his knees back in and sat straight up. Nigel knew exactly who she was. Having her on this world wasn't going to make his plan any easier.

  "Oh, that's rich. It's you. I suppose I should be honored. What's your body called? Tiffany? Candy?"

  "Erica. I already know yours. Let's cut the chit chat."

  Nigel shook his head.

  "No. I want to chat all day long. How was the crossover? Have you slept well since you returned? Are you excited to die again?"

  Erica stood up. She was taller than he expected. He imagined that before the girl died, she had a line of boys and men waiting to date her.

  "I've died a dozen times. I'll keep coming back to stop you."

  Nigel noticed Erica's temper. He knew this was his moment to strike.

  "The first time you died, you thought it was for something. You gave your life, but the war continues to rage on. You could have died an old woman in your bed with a family and someone to love."

  Erica crossed her arms and looked in the other direction. Nigel loved this feeling. It was one thing to attack someone physically and make them squeal with pain. Making them feel darkness to their core was even better.

  "Hundreds of years later, you have nobody. The light souls barely accept you as one of their own. And your side continues to give up ground, body by body, world by world."

  Nigel heard Erica sniffle. This was the most fun he'd had since he'd crossed over.

  "You've grown tired. I can tell, E-ri-ca. It's a fight you can't win and you're starting to realize that."

  Nigel stood up and raised his voice.

  "When we slice this dimension in two, we'll cut down all your little play school friends. We will take over everything you hold near and dear."

  Nigel expected a reaction. He wanted her to crumple to the ground. But that's not what he got. Erica turned around without a tear on her face. She was stoic.

  "Slice this dimension in two? You have the sword, don't you?"

  Nigel's mouth gaped open.

  "No. I didn't... I didn't say that."

  "You did. So that's your plan, huh? Thanks for your help."

  Erica made a signal through the two-way mirror and the guard and sheriff came back in. Nigel had gone into the room seeking information. Instead, he was the one providing it.

  "Hey, Nigel," Erica said from the door. "Always great seeing an old friend."

  She turned and exited. Nigel wanted to bash her head in. He saw it all in his mind: he'd kick the guard through the mirror, lift the sheriff up and smash him through the table and then choke the girl to death with his handcuffs. Nigel wouldn't let his rage get the better of him again, however, and he let himself be led back to the cell.

  Tank had stopped pacing when he returned. After the guard left, he stood up again.

  "So, what'd you find out?"

  "They know everything."

  Nigel considered telling them that he was the one who shared the plan, but he figured it wasn't the best idea.

  "What are we going to do?" Yarrick asked.

  Nigel smiled.

  "Tomorrow, we're going to kill them. We're going to kill them all."