Ted Saves the World

by Bryan Cohen

  Chapter 33

  As far as Ted knew, Nigel was safely tucked away in the sheriff's office. But given what he'd seen at the diner, he wasn't surprised to hear him over the loudspeaker.

  "Maybe we shouldn't have had school," Dhiraj said. "With the hospital killing and the prison breakout...."

  Ted tried to kill Dhiraj with his eyes. It didn't work.

  "You tell me about how many followers I have, but not about the guy who tried to kill me breaking out of prison? And a murder?"

  Ted began to pace.

  "I'm your financial manager, Ted. That kind of stuff doesn't really concern me."

  Ted stopped in front of a large bookcase filled with textbooks.

  "If I die, you don't have a client, Dhiraj!"

  Ted felt his chin tremble as he spoke.

  "Good point. I'll wear multiple hats from now on," Dhiraj said.

  The two of them heard a noise from the hallway. Dhiraj crouched behind his desk in response.

  "Should I live tweet this?"

  Ted grumbled.

  "Wear the 'keeping your client alive' hat right now, Dhiraj."

  "Got it. Though it would have been huge, you know. Do you have a plan?"

  Ted looked around the room. He'd never imagined he'd have to use its contents to defend himself. The bookcase grabbed his attention.

  "I think so. If I get him close enough, I can probably hit him with a book. Maybe hard enough to knock him out."

  Dhiraj stood up and stretched. Then he walked right through the doorway.

  "What are you doing?!" Ted asked.

  "I'll be bait."

  Before Ted could protest, Dhiraj was gone. Ted moved to a better vantage point, where he saw Dhiraj walking toward one of the thugs. Ted recognized him as Tank, the tough guarding the door at the diner. He noticed the strange symbol emblazoned on the man's arm.

  "Hello, excuse me," Dhiraj said, sporting a terrible Indian accent.

  Ted knew that Dhiraj was essentially fearless. He figured he could talk his way out of any situation. Ted wondered if Dhiraj considered the possibility of getting choked to death.

  Tank turned around and looked straight at Dhiraj.

  "Get out of here, kid."

  Dhiraj appeared unfazed.

  "You're looking for Ted. I know where he is."

  Tank looked Dhiraj up and down.

  "And why would you help me?"

  "That guy is the worst. He's weird and ugly. He deserves whatever's coming to him."

  "Thanks a lot, friend-o," Ted said to himself.

  Tank seemed to be onboard.

  "Alright. Take me to him. I get lost in this place, anyway."

  "Oh, it's very confusing," Dhiraj said. "There's an A hall, B hall and C hall."

  Dhiraj motioned Tank toward the classroom. As he did, Ted floated five thick biology textbooks in his direction. They were prepared for a straight path into whoever stood in the doorway.

  "I thought I was in A hall, but there's no way to be sure. It's like a freakin' airport."

  "They really should have more signs for strangers trying to kill people," Dhiraj said.

  "Now you're speaking my language."

  With that, Tank was positioned right in front of the door. As he looked in, he couldn't see Ted, who was sitting behind the teacher's desk, but he could see the hovering books.

  "What the hell?"

  Ted let one fly. He poked his head around the desk to see the book zip through the air at an incredible speed. It made a whooshing sound as it went to the side of Tank and slammed into a locker, leaving a massive dent.

  "I hate books," Tank said.

  Tank moved into the room. As he got closer, Ted let the other books go like a slingshot. One of the books slammed straight into Tank's arm. The next crashed into his chest, sending a cracking sound echoing through the room.

  "You son of a–"

  The next two books packed a double punch, hitting Tank right in the head. He fell backward and landed hard on the ground. Dhiraj walked into the room and waved his hand in front of Tank's face.

  "He's out," Dhiraj said, now back to his true voice. "Great shooting, Tex."

  Ted stood up.

  "I was at a bad angle for the first one, but I straightened things out."

  "Just in time, too."

  Ted stepped out into the hallway. As he did, a man neither of them had seen came charging down the hallway. It was Yarrick the Russian. Dhiraj reached for his friend.

  "Ted, watch out!"

  Ted turned his head and braced for impact, but Yarrick never even got close. A loud clang echoed through the hallway as Yarrick tumbled to the ground beside Tank. Ted and Dhiraj looked up.

  "Sandra?"

  Ted hadn't seen her out of her diner attire all that often, but her rainbow butterfly tattoo gave her away. She was holding a giant pipe.

  "I suppose we're even, now," she said.

  Sandra kicked at the thug on the ground.

  "What're you even doing here?" Ted asked.

  "I was teaching an acting workshop in the auditorium. Gotta make ends meet with Page's out of commission."

  Ted nodded. He wondered if there was a way he could have saved Sandra without destroying her place of employment.

  "Good thing you're here," Dhiraj said. "Strength in numbers. Where do we go from here?"

  Sandra motioned for them to follow her.

  "I think they're holding some students hostage in B hall in the gym. They might be trying the diner thing all over again."

  Ted nodded and picked up one of the textbooks.

  "Alright. I like three's odds better than two. Let's save 'em."

  Sandra smiled and led the way. Dhiraj walked up beside her.

  "That pipe looks really heavy."

  "When you carry trays of food for a living, you get some massive forearms," she said.

  Ted still wasn't sure what Nigel and his gang wanted. What would killing all the diner patrons or a group of students do for him, other than make him appear really, really evil? The three of them didn't encounter any other thugs between their classroom and the gym. Sandra kicked an abandoned backpack out of the way and opened the door. It was pitch black inside.

  "Why'd they close the windows?" Dhiraj asked.

  "I don't know," she said. "I think they have the hostages in the equipment room."

  Ted didn't like the idea of flying blind in there. But he wasn't sure he had any other choice. He and Dhiraj walked past the bleachers and in the direction of the storage room.

  "Alright, go slowly and stay behind me," he said. "Keep the doors open, it'll at least give us a little–"

  Sandra closed the doors, blocking out every bit of light.

  "Sandra, keep those open."

  There was silence.

  "Sandra?" Dhiraj asked.

  Still silence. Ted tried to open the doors with his mind. He felt them shudder, but something kept them from opening.

  "We could use a nightlight," Dhiraj said.

  As Ted reached toward the windows to open them, a solid object slammed into the back of his head.

  "Ted!" Dhiraj shouted.

  That was the last thing Ted remembered before blacking out.