The Sacrifices of Life

by Humphreys, K. L.

  A low whistle gets my attention, and my head spins towards the door. Standing there with her hands across her chest in only her heels and knickers is Tyra. “Katy, you look phenomenal.” She’s staring at me with her mouth wide open. I’m wearing a tiny skirt that barely covers my arse, stockings, and a tight police top that’s more like a bra.

  Heat rises in my cheeks as I blush. “Thanks, you were amazing up there, what I caught anyway. How was it?” Knowing my time is approaching rapidly, I’m doing anything I can to stop my mind from wandering.

  “Honestly?” she asks. She looks giddy, she’s practically bouncing from foot to foot.

  I nod, well yeah, of course I want honesty. I want to know what it was like, so I can prepare myself.

  “Once you get up there and the music starts, you forget everything and just do it. When you’re halfway through, you really start to loosen up, and by the end of it, you don’t ever want to stop. It’s such a thrill, Katy, I swear to God, you’re going to love it. I can’t wait to see you up there. Is it okay if I watch?” Her eyes plead with me.

  “Of course. I doubt I’ll be any good, but you can watch me crash and burn.” I chuckle, I really hope that I don’t do badly and what Tyra’s saying is true, that I’ll let loose and love it. But I’m a clumsy person by nature, and nothing ever goes according to plan.

  Tyra starts to get changed, and I take this time to put on my high heels. God, they’re really high, but Jessica’s advice of wearing heels with ankle straps has helped immensely. It helped me so much that I told Tyra, who also wears ankle-strapped heels. It makes you feel more secure when standing and dancing in them. I’m now dressed. I just have to put makeup on. Poor Molly, she spent the weekend teaching me how to correctly apply makeup. There were things I never even knew existed, and when she told me I needed to highlight, I had no idea what she was talking about, but she didn’t give up, she made me practice all weekend. I hope I don’t look like a clown by the time I’m finished.

  Walking over to the wall that is covered in mirrors, I take a seat and start to apply my makeup. I don’t know what time it is, and I have no idea how long I have left until I’m up, but I’m thinking it can’t be that long. I catch a proper glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I stop and take a hard look at myself. This isn’t Katy staring back at me. I look different. My chubby cheeks are gone, replaced with gauntness. I look thinner than I ever have before. No wonder Molly always wants to feed me. I didn’t realise how much I’ve actually changed. I guess I haven’t really properly looked at myself in a while. I knew that I had lost weight, my clothes are hanging off me, but I didn’t realise it was this bad, I look sick.

  “Katy, you ready? You’re up in five,” Jess calls out.

  Shit, I had better hurry. I’ve got to get my hair ready. It won’t take me that long as I’m wearing a hat, I just need to put my hair under it and make sure it stays on. It takes three tries before I get it right. Standing, I give myself a once over, making sure that I look okay, and I’m shocked at how good I look and feel. It’s like I’m a different person, or maybe it’s a different persona I have.

  “Katy, ninety seconds,” Jess shouts. I quickly make my way over to her, she’s standing at the door waiting for me. “Yep, you’re going to make a lot of money tonight. You ready?” A huge smile on her face.

  I nod. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

  “You’ve got this.” She smiles. “Up you go.”

  I nod and walk towards the stage; my legs feel like jelly. My nerves are sky high at the moment, and I honestly think both Jess and Tyra are talking out of their backsides when they tell me I’ll be fine, and I’ll let loose, especially when I look out and all I see are men. They’re everywhere. I don’t think there’s a free seat in the place. It’s jam packed. God, what a night to be starting.

  A siren sounds loudly, and I smile inwardly, I know that’s my cue to get ready. Placing my hand on the pole, I wait for the beat to kick in. I take a deep breath and as soon at the beat starts, so do I. My hips begin to move in rhythm to the music.

  I lightly spin around the pole to begin with, getting used to the track and the pole. As the track begins to speed up, I go into the Backwards Showgirl move; Placing my right hand on the pole, I spin, my left hand coming to hold the pole just below my right and I spin backwards, my legs bent, my left one closer to the pole with my right leg bent farther away. I quickly move into the step, step, step move, I just step around the pole, but this time I pull my hat off and I hear cheering as my hair cascades down my back.

  My hips still moving in time with the beat, I realise that the girls were right, the music does take over and you forget everything but the moves. My heart is racing but not with fear, with excitement. Tyra was spot on; I’m loving this so much I don’t want it to end. My clothes come off, and I’m standing in my underwear and stockings. I feel sexy, and I don’t know why. All these men staring at me should make me want to run and hide, not continue dancing for them.

  The song’s almost over, and I’ve still got to take my bra off. This is what I had been dreading. Jess has gone over this routine with me on numerous occasions, but I’ve never done it in front of a crowd before. At this point in time I’m not really fussed about it. If it’s what I have to do to get as many tips as I can, then I’m going to do it. The more tips I get, the quicker I can start paying off the debt we owe.

  I begin the lean back move; I climb up to the top of the pole, it’s hard trying to keep your weight on the pole, but I manage it. From here I hook my right leg over my left while bringing my left leg out straight. All the while I’m praying that I can hold it up and not fall flat on my face. Once I have that done, I remove my hands from the pole and lean backwards. Blood rushes to my head, and I hold it for a few seconds before going into the spinning straddle; Both hands back on the pole, I come down with my legs spread wide apart. I can feel the burning in both my thighs and my arms. I’ll be taking some ibuprofen tonight when I get home.

  Once I’m back on my feet, I begin to grind against the pole, my hands reaching for the back of my bra. Taking a deep breath, I let it fall to the stage. The cheering and whistling is so loud, I have one more move to do before I’m finished. Grabbing the pole with both of my hands, I place my right hand at head height, left hand at the bottom of the pole, so that I’m sideways against the pole. I spin around with my legs slightly open and my knees bent; from there, my right foot hooks onto the pole and my left is bent outwards, my hands still in the same position, I hold this move for a few seconds before spinning out and doing the splits at the bottom of the pole just as the music stops and the lights go out.

  Loud clapping and whistling rings out as I rush to grab my clothes and the money thrown onto the stage, it takes me forever to gather it all up, and now I realise why some girls hardly wear anything at all. Maybe I should have gotten something easier to take off, so instead of taking three things off, I have one or two bits. Checking the stage to make sure I haven’t missed anything, I make my way back to Jessica and Tyra. Both girls have huge smiles on their faces, and Jess looks proud. I’m doing what Tyra did and covering my boobs with my arms, although it’s hard with everything I’m holding in my hands.

  “You did amazing, Katy. Go get changed, and Damien wants to see both you and Tyra in his office,” Jessica tells me just as Cherry rushes in looking stressed. “Cherry, you okay?”

  “Yeah, Jess I’m fine, just running late, but what’s new?” Cherry’s out of breath as she rushes to a locker and starts getting changed. “How did Tyra and Katy get on?”

  “Amazingly, they both have potential to be the best here. Now that we’re going, I’ll be teaching them new moves for a few more weeks and then I’m done,” Jess informs us and hearing that makes me realise that we’re alone when she’s gone, it’s something I’m not looking forward to at all.

  “That’s great. I was worried about leaving Damien in the lurch,” Cherry says stripping out of her clothes.

  “They�
��re good,” Jess tells her almost as if she’s promising her. “Katy, hurry and get changed, and I’ll bring you to Damien.”

  I do as she says and rush over to the locker that has my stuff in it. I quickly throw my outfit and money into it and start to get changed. I need to wipe the makeup off my face too, but it’s going to have to wait until after we’ve spoken to Damien.

  Chapter Eight

  Jessica leads Tyra and me to Damien’s office. I have no idea what he wants to talk to us about. Jess said that we’ve done a good job, so hopefully he thinks so too. While I was getting changed, I shoved all the money I made into my bag, which I have with me now. I didn’t want to leave my bag in the room where all the other girls get changed; it’s not that I don’t trust them, I just don’t know them to make that call. I’ll check how much money I made when I get home, but I was shocked when I saw at least three fifty-pound notes. That means I’ve made at least a hundred and fifty and there were loads more notes that I didn’t see.

  Tyra’s still in her heels. That woman walks like she lives in them. I manage to dance in them. That’s it; if I were to wear them like I wear my trainers, I’d be flat on my face in no time. Jess knocks on a door and my hands start to shake. I hate not knowing what’s about to happen and not knowing what this meeting is for. I have no idea what Damien is going to say, and I’m worried that he may not want us to work here, that we may not be a good fit here.

  “Enter,” we hear his deep voice call out.

  “Relax,” Jess tells us, and I look over to Tyra, who looks as nervous as I feel. “Trust me, you’ll be fine.” Jess has a stupid smile on her face, one that tells me that she knows what’s about to happen. She opens the door and walks in ahead of us. Tyra grabs my hand and gives it a quick squeeze before following Jess into the office. I keep my head held high as I follow behind.

  My eyes widen as I take in the office. It’s amazing. So posh and extravagant. Glass everywhere; floor-to-ceiling windows, the table and all the cupboards are glass and silver. It’s a showman’s office. The chairs are white leather; they look so comfortable, so inviting. I like that, the room looks imposing but the chairs make you want to come and sit down and have a chat. There’s a picture on the wall that’s of him and Saffron. They’re smiling and look so happy. It’s the only thing in this room that is personal, everything else is clinical and business like.

  “Ladies please take a seat,” Damien says with a smile as he waves his hand out for us to do as he asks. Jess moves around the desk and takes a seat closer to Damien, whereas Tyra and I sit directly in front of his desk. “First, you did really good tonight. Better than Jessica and I had predicted. The men loved you, and you’re going to be a huge hit here.”

  My whole body deflates. That wasn’t what I had expected him to say. To hear him say that we did really well means a lot, especially as I was thinking he was going to sack us.

  “We have a back room here. The back room is monitored constantly by three bouncers and by CCTV. This is where lap dances are given. Now, we have girls that do lap dances and pole, and some who solely lap dance. My question for you both is, would lap dancing be something you would be interested in?” Damien asks. He’s looking at us both with a look that I can’t decipher.

  I don’t even need to think about it. “No,” I say quickly, too quickly as Damien’s eyebrows nearly hit his hairline. I cough. “What I mean is,” I sigh, ready to bare myself to everyone in this room. “Tonight, I was so scared, I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, but I did. However, it’s a huge step for me, being so exposed not necessarily by stripping, but just being up on stage.” I’m rambling. God, why do I act like an idiot when I’m nervous? “What I’m trying to say is, I’m not ready to do anything other than the pole at the moment. Is that okay?”

  Damien’s nodding before I even finish my question. “Of course it is, I’m not here to force anyone into doing something they don’t want to do. I’m here to make sure that you’re all safe and work in a happy and healthy environment. Thank you for being so honest.”

  “I agree with Katy. Right now, I’m going to focus on the pole. Thank you for giving us a chance,” Tyra says shyly, it’s funny to see her so shy. She’s usually so sure of herself. She came up to me on Monday and started talking. I couldn’t do that; I just don’t have the courage for it. Yet here she is now, quiet and reserved.

  “That’s fine, ladies. As you both know, Jessica and Cherry are leaving. We’re looking for someone to take over the last spot of the night. I’ve spoken to the other girls who work here, and none of them are willing to change their shifts. So girls, it’s up to one of you. Jess is going to train you both over the next few weeks, seeing as it’s just the two of you who turned up tonight for your shifts. You’ll be learning more difficult routines, and Jess will be deciding who will have the spotlight show.”

  My eyes are glued to Damien as he explains to us what’s going to happen. I’m speechless. I mean he wants one of us to be the last dancer of the night. That’s amazing; I know that the girls who have that usually finish off are the best of the best so for him to offer it to one of us means we’ve done something right.

  “But we’re new.” Tyra’s just as gobsmacked as I am. Neither one of us can believe this.

  “We know, but I’ve been training you, both of you,” Jess begins. “I know what you’re capable of, I know what you’ll be able to do, and trust me, you’re both more than able to do the spotlight. Hell, if you wanted to take turns at doing it, Damien wouldn’t care. The only thing is you need to change it up. You need to always be learning. There’s an intermediate class you can take. It’ll help you. It’s pricey but so worth it. I’m going to teach you for the next two weeks, and after that, you have to learn yourselves. So that course could be beneficial.”

  It’s something that I’m going to look into, but I want to know the price. That’ll make my decision for me. If the price is okay, I may even get Molly to do the course with me too.

  “Saffron will be doing your schedules. She does everything here, so if you need something, she’ll be the best person to ask,” Damien says just as there’s a knock at the door. “Enter,” he calls out, not even looking towards the door. Tyra and I turn as the door opens and Saffron walks in, a smile on her face. She’s followed by the arsehole who was on the door when I came in and the handsome man who I saw last week. Saffron comes over and stands beside Damien. “Tyra, Katy, meet Kieran and Owen. They’re the head bouncers here. If you need anything let them know. They’ll also be the ones who keep watch over the door and the club.”

  “Hi,” Tyra and I say in unison.

  I don’t look at Kieran because he’s a creep. Besides, I can’t keep my eyes off Owen. He’s even sexier than I thought.

  “Ignore Kieran. He’s an arsehole at the best of times. The man is perverted and hits on anything with legs,” Jess says, but she’s smiling, and she seems as though she gets on with him. Maybe he’s okay really, but he freaked me out when I got here. “Don’t be late tomorrow. You’re both working the same time as today,” she tells us, and I nod.

  That’s not too bad. Since I’m on stage at nine, I’ll make sure I’m here for eight again.

  “I’m off home now, I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

  “Bye Jess, thanks,” Damien says as both Jess and Saffron leave the office. “Girls, the boys will see you to your cars,” he tells us.

  Together, Tyra and I hurry out of the office following Kieran and Owen.

  I need to take this makeup off, but if they’re escorting us out of the building then I won’t be able to do it before I leave. Shit, there goes that plan.

  Tyra and Kieran are walking ahead of Owen and me. She has her head down as she walks, and I wonder why. Did he make her feel uncomfortable when she came in too?

  “Where are you parked?” Owen asks, his husky voice sending shivers down my spine.

  “I don’t drive,” I reply, pulling the strap of my gym bag over my shoulder properly.

>   “What time’s your lift coming?” he fires out, sounding a bit angry.

  “I don’t have one. I’m taking the tube home.” I give him a soft smile.

  “Um, Katy, that’s not allowed.” He pulls on my arm so we come to a stop. “You have tips in your bag, a couple of hundred if not more. I saw you on stage, you fucking owned it. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was more than five hundred there. You can’t get on the poxy tube with that sort of money.” His eyes bore holes into me, his chest is rising and falling heavily. I don’t know what he’s so worked up about. “I’ll call you a cab.”

  I pull my arm away from him. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine with the tube.” I stand tall and speak clearly; he’s not bullying me into getting a cab, that’s not going to happen. Why on earth would I spend money I just earned on a cab when I have my Oyster Card?

  He looks as though he’s about to argue.

  “Look, I don’t have the money to pay for a cab okay?” Admitting that is hard, especially to a stranger.

  He looks at me, and my breath is taken away when he leans in close, his eyes staring deep into mine, almost as if he’s looking into my soul. “You’re too beautiful to have such sadness.”

  His voice is gravelly. It washes over me, raising goose flesh along my arms, and I shift on my feet.

  “Owen?” calls a woman’s voice, and he instantly changes. Gone is the softness he just showed, replaced by the coolness he had when he first walked into Damien’s office.

  “Shit,” he curses under his breath and takes a step back from me. “You’re not taking the tube,” he growls.

  “There you are.” A blond approaches. She looks a lot older than him. Owen looks like he’s in his late twenties—early thirties, whereas this woman looks as though she’s in her forties. She saunters up to him and places her hands on his chest, her boobs pressing against him as she rises on her tiptoes and places a kiss on his lips.