The Sacrifices of Life

by Humphreys, K. L.

  My phone ringing makes me jump. Shit, Jess is probably waiting outside for me. I look at the screen and see that it is her. I quickly answer it. “Hey, I’m just leaving now.” Not a total lie. I grab my bag and throw my tips into my purse.

  “Okay, see you in a minute.” She sounds happy. She’s spent the day setting Saffron’s party up. I rush out of the changing room and into the club, passing Owen as I walk out, my stomach flipping as it always does whenever I see him. I don’t know if it will ever stop, but I’m hoping that it will. I don’t want to be attracted to him, he’s taken.

  Chapter Eleven

  The lights dim, and the music stops. I quickly grab my clothes and the tips. I love doing this. I never thought I would, I honestly thought I’d be embarrassed, ashamed that I’d be doing it to pay the debts and that’s it. That I’d hate it so much I’d go home and cry, wishing for the day I had enough money to leave. I am doing it to pay off the debts, but I’m enjoying it. I was so conflicted at first.

  My mum still hates that I’m doing this. She thinks it’s demeaning and vulgar, but she understands why I’m doing it. Plus she’s seen the money I’ve made since I’ve started here, and she honestly can’t complain. I’ve made over nine thousand pounds in the three weeks I’ve been here. Only a few more days and I’ll have Mickey’s funeral paid off. Then I can start paying off the mortgage. We’re months behind, and I’m not sure how long until we’re going to get an eviction notice. It’ll give Mum a chance to decide what she wants to do.

  I rush into the changing room and get ready to take over from Bailey on the bar. Tyra’s closing tonight. We’ve agreed to alternate nights; it’s the best of both worlds. The last dance of the night gets the most tips. I did it last night and got the biggest tips to date. I made nine hundred pounds for one dance. No wonder why everyone wants to have the closing dance, you have to have the best moves, and the more technical the moves, the more money. I couldn’t understand why the girls passed it up, that was until they told me that they wouldn’t do any of the harder moves that Jess has taught me.

  Tyra and I are going to that pole dancing class that Jess told us about and I’ve managed to convince Molly to come with us. Bailey is considering it, although she doesn’t work on the pole here. She is interested in learning, but she can’t really commit to anything just yet with her mum and all. I’m excited to learn more, and I do believe it’s something I’ll keep up even after I leave here because it makes me feel good about myself, something that I haven’t felt in a while.

  I throw everything into my locker and quickly get changed. I need to get out and take over the bar, so Bailey can go to the back room and make some money. I switch out my high heels for lower ones. We’re to wear heels while waitressing or bartending, and I really can’t wear the heels I dance in for that long, so I switch them for lower ones. I pull on my denim shorts and a black V-neck short T-shirt that’s tight against my boobs; I can’t really call it a T-shirt, it covers my boobs and that’s it. I don’t mind the uniform, it’s covering everything important, and that’s the main thing, although everyone here has seen everything anyway.

  Pulling my apron around my waist as I walk behind the bar, I say, “Bay, go and shake your arse.” I laugh; she hates me calling her Bay, as her ex used to call her that, and it grated on her, I do it now just to annoy her. I look up at the clock above the bar and see that it’s ten o’clock, we’ve about another four hours until we close and then after that I have to clean up. Tyra is doing two dances tonight, she’s covering for one of the other girls whose little girl is sick, and the babysitter couldn’t come.

  Her eyes narrow, “You’re skating on thin ice young lady. Keep going and you can walk home.” She beams at me. “Better yet, I’ll let Owen take you home.”

  I gasp. She wouldn’t! I’ve told her about what happened. Well, she forced it out of me. She kept going on and on about it, she wouldn’t shut up until I finally spilled my guts. I can’t believe she’d even say that. She knows that I’m keeping my distance so that his crazy girlfriend keeps the hell away from me and doesn’t jump to any more conclusions. That woman is the type of woman that will cause trouble just for the sake of it. “You’re evil,” I tell her with narrowed eyes.

  “Damn straight I am. Keep calling me Bay, and I’ll be evil back to you. Besides, Owen really does seem to like you. His eyes were glued to you while you were dancing, and he hasn’t stopped staring at you since you came over here.” She still has that evil grin on her face.

  I spin, and I’m instantly caught in Owen’s gaze. He gives me a small smile, one that I can’t help but return. There goes those stupid butterflies. They haven’t stopped, every time I see him my stomach flips, I keep telling myself it’s just a physical attraction, it will go in time. He doesn’t stop staring at me, that small smile still on his face. And the weird thing is, I love that he’s smiling just for me.

  “Girl, you’re hooked, and you don’t even know it,” Bailey says cryptically as she walks around the bar.

  I frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She just laughs. “You’ll figure it out. I’ll see you later, Katy.” She waves as she walks towards the back room. Great, now I’m going to be thinking about what she meant all night. Ugh, she did this on purpose.

  My head is killing me enough. I got drunk with Saffron last night; I made a complete fool of myself, I cried and told the girls about Mickey, it was really embarrassing. I woke up this morning with the worst hangover, and I’ve yet to recover; I was a bit worried that I was still drunk when the alarm went off. You’d think crying your eyes out would sober you up.

  “Katy?” Damien calls, and I turn to find where that voice is coming from. The members have just left, and we’re all tidying up. I look to the door that leads you into the back room and see Damien standing there waiting for me, his arms folded, his face set in a hard line.

  Making my way over to him, I wonder what’s happened. “Is everything okay?”

  He shakes his head. “Bailey asked me to wait until your shift was finished. She knows that you need the money, and she said there was nothing you can do anyway.”

  My hands begin to shake as my heart begins to pound, what’s happened? Something has, I can feel it. Is Bailey okay?

  “Bailey’s mum passed away at eleven this evening. Bailey has gone to be with her and say goodbye. She wanted me to let you know. She’s also asked that she has tonight to be alone.” Damien’s voice is low; he doesn’t want anyone else to know. I understand that, I am the same about Mickey.

  “Thank you for telling me,” I whisper, tears threatening to fall. God, poor Bailey. My heart is breaking for her. It’s so sudden, it wasn’t expected, she never said she had gotten that bad. If she had, I would have been here to support her, to hold her hand and help her through it. She was only telling me how great her mum had been doing, I guess it’s true what some people say, those that are dying get better before they go.

  “Owen will be taking you home. Whatever happened to make you avoid him like the plague ends now. You both have to work here, and I don’t want this animosity.” He gives me a pointed look one that tells me to grow the hell up.

  “Okay,” I tell him. He’s right, I can’t keep avoiding him; it’s childish. We’re both adults and so what if he has a girlfriend? I can still talk to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I turn and walk back to the bar, I need to finish cleaning. I need to grab all the empty glasses and wash them so that they’re ready for tomorrow. I work on auto pilot, my mind on Bailey and what she must be going through. I bend down and start to clean the shelf below the bar. This is where some of the glasses are kept during the night, so I clean it vigorously when we’re closed.

  “Why is it every time I look at you, you’re always sad? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile.” That deep, gravelly voice sends shivers down my spine.

  I look up and see Owen placing glasses on the bar, his eyes focused on me. “I smiled at you today,” I tell him and car
ry on cleaning the shelf. I’m actually finished, but it keeps me down here and him up there.

  “Yeah, you did. You know if you actually smiled, one where it lit up those beautiful brown eyes, you’d take my breath away. Fuck, you do that anyway when I look at you.”

  He can’t say those things to me. Why would he say them? I stand up and throw the cloth into the sink. “Owen, you have a girlfriend, what do you want from me?” I’m getting angry. I don’t even know him. I’ve spoken to him a handful of times, and each and every time those conversations don’t go well. Still my traitorous body reacts to him, even when I don’t want it to.

  “I want you,” he growls at me. “I want you, Katy. There’s something about you. I’m drawn to you in a way I’ve never been to anyone else. I don’t really know you, but what I do know about you is that you’re strong and sassy. If given the chance you’d give as good as you get. You’re polite even when Layla was being a bitch, and by the way she was never my girlfriend. She was someone I was hooking up with,” he tells me as though I should know this.

  “I’m sorry, but to a normal person, bringing a girl to work and kissing her doesn’t say you’re just hooking up with her. It screams relationship. I’m far from polite, I do give as good as I get, and I deliver it back ten times more. I’m not a mouse, I don’t stand here and take shit from anyone.” I shoot him a pointed look, telling him he’d better watch himself or he’d be next on my list.

  “Why do I always fuck things up? I’m trying to tell you that Layla isn’t my girlfriend and that I want to take you out on a date.” His green eyes plead with me.

  “A date?” I squeak. That’s not what I was expecting him to say.

  “Yes, a date, what do you say?” He leans against the bar, his eyebrow raised in question.

  “Why?” I don’t understand where the hell this has come from.

  He scoffs, “Katy, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. I’m intrigued, I’m drawn to you, and I don’t know why. As soon as I laid eyes on you, I knew that there’s something about you. I want to know more, I need to know more. So, Katy, I’m asking you for a date.”

  I melt inside. I’ve never had someone say such nice things about me, to me. My heart is screaming for me to say yes, but my head is telling me to be cautious; that I don’t really know him, and his words are just that. “Okay,” I whisper, shyness taking over.

  His face lights up, his emerald green eyes sparkling. “Phew, you had me worried there for a second.”

  “You think I’m intriguing? I can’t figure you out.” He’s a contradiction, he acts cocky and can come across abrasive, but then he comes across sweet and caring. I don’t know if he’s playing the sweet guy or if he really is.

  “You will.” He winks at me, and the butterflies are back. “I’ll be ready to go whenever you are.”

  “I need about ten more minutes. Is that okay?”

  “Of course. Do you need a hand?” He tilts his head to the side in question.

  “I’m alright, thanks.” I take the glasses he left on top of the bar and start to wash them. I’m kind of giddy that Owen and I will be going on a date, although he hasn’t said when that will be.

  “Thank you,” I tell him as the car comes to a stop outside my block of flats.

  He winks at me, and I smile shyly. I’m acting like a schoolgirl. “You’re welcome. Any time you need a lift just give me a call.”

  That won’t ever happen, I wouldn’t do that. “Thank you,” I say yet again, I really need to update my vocabulary. I get out of the car, and I’m surprised that Owen gets out after me. I turn and look at him, wondering what’s going on.

  He must sense my confusion. “I just want to make sure you get in okay.” He has a boyish grin that makes my heart skip a beat.

  “Thank you.” God, can I not say anything else? “So…” I bite my lip, wondering if this is the right time to ask. “About this date?”

  That boyish grin gets bigger. “Next week, I’m taking you out. And Katy, I’m going to make sure it’s a date you never forget.”

  I giggle. It sounds like he’s got a plan. “You know what Owen? I’m holding you to that.” I walk up to him, my hand going to his chest. I can feel the thumping of his heartbeat. Leaning up on my tiptoes, I plant a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him softly.

  “Yeah, babe, have a good night.” His voice is huskier than it had been.

  I turn and walk away, excited about this date he’s promised me. I can feel his eyes on me the whole way to the entrance. Glancing back, I see he’s leaning against his car and smirking. “Good night Owen.” I call and give him a wave.

  He winks at me and gets into his car. I wait at the entrance as he starts the engine and wave as he pulls away.

  Walking up the stairs towards the flat, I come to a stop when I see Harley sitting on one of the middle steps. “Harley?” What’s he doing here at this time of the night?

  He looks at me as though he’s not seen me before, and I realise I’m still wearing my makeup. “I’ve been waiting for you. I wasn’t sure what time you finished work.”

  My hands begin to shake. Oh God, has he found out who killed Mickey? I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Who?”

  His brow furrows but as he realises what I’m asking, his face hardens. “That I haven’t found out yet. Everyone is keeping quiet. I’ll find out, Katy, I promise. You know I’ll find out who did it.” Conviction is clear in his voice. He’ll find out. “So, you’re a stripper?”

  I give him a look. I’m not talking about this, not with him. It’s none of his damn business.

  He raises his hands up in surrender. “Never mind.”

  I nod, but I’m still confused. “Okay, so why are you waiting for me?” My tone is wary. Harley and I had one thing in common… Mickey.

  “Katy, you know I’ve always had a thing for you. How about we go to the cinema tomorrow?” A cocky smile appears on his face. His deep blue eyes stare at me, waiting for my answer. He’s so sure that I’m going to say yes, and I have no idea where he got that from.

  I walk up to him and sit down beside him. “You know what I said the other day to you.” I watch as his eyes harden. “I was wrong. You do care about Mickey, and I’m sorry for saying otherwise. Deep down there’s a good man inside, but Harley, I lost my brother to your world. I can’t live in it. I can’t date someone from it. That’s not me, so I’m sorry, I won’t be going to the cinema with you.” I keep my voice soft, not wanting him to think I’m just saying no because I don’t want to. I want to tell him why we’d never work out. I can’t be with someone who believes that dealing drugs and being in a gang is okay. That would never work; it’s everything I detest.

  He smiles at me. God, he really is a handsome man. “Katy, you hate gangs, Mickey always told us you’d be going mental at him. I respect your values and I understand. If things were different, we’d be great together.” He stands up and reaches out a hand to help me get up. “I’ll find out who killed Mickey. Someone has to know something, and when I find them, I’ll make them talk. Good night, Katy.” His voice is hard, and it makes me shiver.

  He walks down the stairs, my gaze following him. I get the feeling that he knows who is keeping quiet about Mickey’s death. Whoever it is, I hope they’re ready for Harley.

  Chapter Twelve

  The date between Owen and me hasn’t happened yet. I’ve been putting it off. My days are spent with Bailey, who is having a really hard time after her mum died and working. Bailey hasn’t come back to work since she got that call, and I don’t think she will be. She started working at Pleasure Palace to pay off the medical bills. They were paid off last year, and since then she started saving. She paid for her mum’s stay in the nursing home, and her mum had already paid for her own funeral. Also, her mum owned the house that Bailey lives in, so she doesn’t need to work here anymore if she doesn’t want to.

  She reminds me of Mum when Mickey died. She has everything planned out a
nd taken care of. She had that done within the first few days. Apparently, her mum had talked about what she wanted for her funeral and how it should be. Her mum had everything planned to a T. It takes the stress off Bailey and gives her time to grieve. She broke down completely on Thursday morning. Molly and I went over as we do every morning. We don’t want her to be alone constantly, so we go to her house every morning, cook her breakfast and just talk, even if it’s just about the weather. I was running late. Mum and I had gone to Mickey’s grave as we do every Thursday morning since Mum’s been better. When Molly and I arrived in the afternoon, she was sobbing her heart out. Hearing her cries hurt, especially as it’s something I’ve been hearing a lot lately. Bailey had spent the morning cleaning out her mum’s room, something that I think happened way too soon, and she broke down.

  “Hey, Katy.” Saffron’s voice startles me. I didn’t expect to see her.

  “Hey Saff, how are you?” I didn’t think she’d be here today. Usually when she comes in, Damien tells us to send her straight back, he doesn’t want her around the members, most of whom ask her if she’s coming back. They miss her on the pole.

  A genuine smile comes on her face, lighting it up. “I’m really good, thank you. I’m just going to pop in and see Dami, then I’ll be back out to talk to you.” She winks at me before walking down towards Damien’s office.

  I stare after her in confusion. What the hell was that about, and what the hell was the wink for?