The Sacrifices of Life

by Humphreys, K. L.

“Katy, I’ve spoken to every pimp, prostitute, dealer, addict, and dirty copper, and the word on the street is that it was an inside job,” Mills says and begins to grind his jaw.

  Owen and Harley curse under their breaths. “What does that even mean?” I ask, and as soon as I watch their faces fall, I know that whatever they’re going to say is going to be bad news.

  “Katy, what Mills is trying to say is that Mickey knew his killer,” Owen says pulling me into his arms. “Katy, both Mills and Harley believe that it was a member of the NDZ that killed him.”

  All the oxygen leaves my body as the words register. My knees buckle and thankfully Owen is there to catch me. Why? Why would one of his own boys want to kill him?

  Chapter Twenty

  “Breathe, Cher,” Owen whispers. “Breathe baby.”

  “Why?” I don’t get why someone who knew him would kill him. He wasn’t a person who would cause trouble. He wouldn’t have done anything to make someone want to kill him.

  I hear coughing and look towards Harley.

  “He wanted out.” He’s looking anywhere but at me.

  “Out?” I frown. That’s news to me. He never mentioned that he wanted to leave the gang.

  “He wanted to leave the NDZ, he had been talking about it for a while with me. He was my brother, Katy. I would have done anything for him. We’re not like how things were before. If someone wants out, they can leave.” Harley tells me.

  “If that’s the case why is he dead? Who killed him, Harley?” I ask softly.

  He shakes his head. “I don’t know, I really don’t.”

  “You’ve got to know!” I scream at him, tears running down my face, “They’re your boys, you’ve said it all along. They’re your family. So, come on Harley, who killed my brother?”

  “I wish I could tell you, but I honestly don’t know. I’m not going to stop searching until I find out.” How many times have I heard this from him? “I promise you, Katy, I’m going to find out.”

  “Don’t, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” I shake my head in disgust. “I’m going to find out myself.”

  “It’s time for you to leave,” Owen says menacingly, and I know that he’s talking to Harley. He doesn’t like him and with good reason. I told him about the conversation we had a few weeks ago where he practically called me a whore.

  Harley holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m going, don’t worry. Katy, I’ll see you around.” He waves as he starts to walk backwards before turning and strolling away. As he reaches the top of the street, some of the NDZ Crew are there waiting for him. I should have realised that he didn’t come alone.

  “Katy, I’m sorry that we’re meeting under these shitty terms. Also, I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t personally know your brother, but I’ve heard great things about him. He truly was well respected,” Mills says as he shakes Owen’s hand.

  “Thank you.” That was a nice thing to say, he didn’t need to say it. After all, he didn’t know Mickey. But his words mean a lot.

  He nods and walks away, but he gets not even three feet away before he turns back. “Katy, maybe you should talk to Laura. Hell, even Phil. If anyone should know anything Phil would.”

  That gets my back up. “Laura?” Why would he mention her name, we’ve not spoken in over a year.

  He just nods, and this time when he leaves, he doesn’t look back.

  “Cher?” Owen calls out. I can’t stop staring at where Mills has just left.

  “Owen, I don’t think I can go back inside.” I need to go and find Laura, I need to find Phil.

  “Cher, I know you don’t want to, but I honestly think you need to think, you need to breathe, and you need to talk to your parents. So, come on back inside, have some dinner, and then I’ll come with you when you go to their houses.” He takes my hand and guides me back into the foyer. “I promise you, Cher, we’ll talk to them and if they know something, we’re going to find out.”

  I know that he’s right. I need to talk to Mum and Dad. I’m just not sure waiting and having dinner is the right thing. But I know that Owen has gone to a lot of trouble organising this dinner party, and I’m not going to ruin it.

  “I love you,” I whisper as we get to the double doors. “You’re everything I ever wanted but didn’t know I needed.”

  He smirks, and I groan. “Cher, I knew you were it for me the very first night you got on that pole. I was mesmerised by you and have been ever since.” He pulls me towards him, and his lips brush against mine.

  “Oh, that’s what you two have been doing? We’ve been waiting for you,” Molly says in a teasing tone. I turn to look at her and she winks. “I ordered for you, and Owen, Jess ordered for you. We got tired of waiting. Is it safe to use the loo?” She raises her brow and I blush when I realise what she’s getting at. She thinks Owen and I had sex in the toilet.

  “Toilet’s safe to use,” Owen says with a cheeky grin, and he’s not helping things, the way he’s leering it’s as though we’ve shagged.

  “Nasty.” Molly shakes her head in disgust. “You couldn’t wait until you got home?”

  I cross my arms over my chest and shoot her a quelling look. She’s smiling from ear to ear. “Are you going to the toilet or not?”

  She grins. “I’m going, relax.” She walks past us and towards the toilet, laughing.

  As Owen and I enter the room, everyone’s heads turn towards us, “Katy, are you okay?” Mum is looking at me with worried eyes, of course she knows that something’s up, she’s like a detective; nothing ever gets past her.

  “Yeah Mum I’m fine, just hungry. What did Mol order for me?” I change the subject, not wanting her to delve any deeper, because right now I’m feeling raw and anything could set me off. I don’t want to be here. I want to find Laura and Phil, but at the same time, Owen’s gone to so much trouble, and everyone has taken time away from their busy lives to be here so I need to stay, even for a few hours. Laura and Phil will have to wait.

  “Salmon,” Mum replies, deadpan, and I cringe. I despise fish but especially salmon. Then Mum chuckles. “She didn’t, she tried to, but your dad said no. Instead, he ordered you the burger and chips.”

  I give Dad a shaky but grateful smile. “Thank you.” He just nods as I take my seat. Why does he seem uneasy? It’s weird seeing him like this. I guess things have really changed.

  “Jess, did you get me the steak?” Owen asks, his eyes narrowed at a smiling Jess. He sighs. “You didn’t, did you?”

  She shakes her head, and Owen groans.

  “You’re a numpty. Of course I did. I was hardly going to order you the salad.”

  “Uncle Owen, can we give Katy her presents now?” sweet little Emme asks, bouncing in her seat.

  “Yes, Emme, do you want to go first?” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Owen as happy as he is right now. I can’t believe that Emme has a present, that anyone has a present for me. I’m happy that they’re here with me. I don’t need presents.

  Everyone is smiling as Emme gets off her chair and brings a small wrapped present over to me. “Here, Aunty Katy. Uncle Owen helped me pick it.” She hands me the gift and smiles as she waits for me to open it. My eyes widen as she calls me Aunty Katy. I love it! I love that she thinks of me as family already.

  Everyone’s eyes are on me as I unwrap the present. Molly comes back and stands behind me as I take off the paper. I’m surprised to see a jewellery box, and I look up at Emme to see her sitting on Owen’s knee watching me. Opening the box, tears instantly spring to my eyes when I see the picture of me and Mickey on a necklace, and written on the back of the charm are the words ‘Always in my heart’.

  “Oh, Emme,” I whisper. This is beyond the best present that I could have gotten. “Thank you so much.”

  Molly’s hand rubs my back, and I can hear Mum crying.

  “Aunty Katy, please don’t cry.” Emme crawls into my lap and wipes away my tears. “Do you like it?” she whispers.

  I wrap my arms around her. �
�Love it Emme. It’s my favourite present ever.”

  She kisses my cheek before jumping off my lap. “Mummy, Aunty Katy said it’s the best present she’s ever had.” She’s so joyful, and it’s seriously brightened my evening. After everything I’ve found out today, being around Emme makes everyone happy. She’s such a sweet girl, and her and Owen picking out this present for me just shows that.

  “Oh Katy, it’s so beautiful,” Molly whispers, kneeling down beside me. “Do you want me to help you put it on?” I nod, unable to speak as I gently take it out of the box and hand it to her.

  Looking towards Mum, I see Dad holding her as she softly weeps in his arms. This present means so much to me. He’ll always be a part of me, but having a picture of the two of us is everything. As soon as Molly clasps it, I feel the weight hit my chest; it sits perfectly by my heart. The waitresses come in with our dinner, giving me a bit of reprieve as everyone’s eyes land on their plates.

  My phone rings as soon as we reach the estate. Owen’s driving Mum and Dad home. It’s ten o’clock at night, and I’ve had the best time. I’m glad I stayed because not only was it amazing having everyone there to spend the evening with me, it also gave me time to calm down. I would have lost my head if I had gone directly to Laura and Phil’s house. I would have been so worked up that I’d have just lost it, whereas now I’m calm, and I can think clearly. I won’t go there guns blazing.

  My phone rings, and I glance at it, shocked to discover that it’s Laura calling me.

  I frown but silence it. I never told Mum and Dad about what Harley and Mills said, and now isn’t the right time. I’ll call her back when Mum and Dad are gone. Owen glances at me as he comes to a stop outside the flat. “Are you coming in?” Mum asks.

  A bit of guilt nags at me. I know that she wants me to come home, but I’m not going to tonight, maybe soon.

  “I miss you Katy,” she adds.

  I turn and face her with a sigh. “I miss you too, Mum. I’ll swing by tomorrow, and we can all talk and get things sorted, okay?” I unbuckle my seatbelt, reach back, and hug her. “I promise.”

  “Okay baby, I’ll see you tomorrow. Happy Birthday, darling.” She kisses my cheek before getting out of the car then gives Owen a wave.

  “Happy Birthday, Katy,” Dad says giving my cheek a kiss and quickly getting out of the car behind Mum.

  I wave goodbye to them just as my phone starts ringing again, looking down I see that it’s Laura again. “This is the second time she’s calling me.” I tell Owen showing him the phone.

  A frown draws his brows together. “What the hell does she want?” he grits, his hands clutching the steering wheel.

  I shrug. “I have no idea.” But I answer. “Hello.”

  “Where are you?” She’s full of attitude, and she’s putting me on edge. “I need to talk to you. Where are you?”

  “I’m just outside Mum’s. what do you want?” I ask in a bitchy tone, she’s being rude to me so I’m going to be rude back.

  “I need to talk to you. I’m here, where the hell are you?” She’s being a bitch.

  I turn and look out of the back window of the car. I can’t see her. “Where? I’m in the car.” She hangs up on me. “The fucking cheeky bitch.” I fume, how bloody dare she hang up on me?

  “What just happened?” Owen growls.

  “God knows. She said she wanted to talk and then she bloody hangs up on me.” I’m so confused right now. How much of a coincidence is it for her to be calling me after I was speaking with Mills today?

  “Do you think—”

  Hard knocking on the car window interrupts him. A manic-looking Laura is on the other side, hair a mess, face twisted into an alarming expression. She’s wringing her hands together and she keeps looking around to see if anyone’s there. “Fucking hell, what’s wrong with her?” he says through gritted teeth.

  I sigh. “There’s only one way to find out.” I open the car door, and Laura steps backwards. “What do you want Laura?” I say as I close the car door behind me, I hear Owen getting out of the car too. I knew he wouldn’t sit and wait to see what happened.

  “Does he have to listen?” she asks, and I swear she’s pushing her luck. She’s changed so much and not for the better.

  “Yes, he does, if you have something to say will you just spit it out?” I curl my lip up in disgust. What the hell happened to my friend? The sweet girl who used to sleep over at my house, when we’d have to leave a light on because she hated complete darkness. The girl that would go out of her way to make sure everyone was okay. This isn’t the Laura I know and love standing in front of me. Instead, I’m faced with a pissed off woman who’s looking at me as though she doesn’t even know me.

  She crosses her arms over her chest, and I know that move. She’s defensive. I do it too when I’m feeling vulnerable or when my back is against the wall. “Mills told me.”

  I look over at Owen, who’s sitting on the bonnet, and he looks pissed off.

  “He told you what?” I ask as I walk around the car and stand in front of Owen. He instantly opens his legs, so I can stand between them.

  She looks up and down at me in disgust. “He told me that he told you Mickey dying was an inside job, that one of the NDZ Crew killed him.”

  My eyes narrow. “Yeah, what’s that got to do with you?”

  She scoffs. “Best watch who you’re talking to,” she warns.

  My temper starts rising. I can’t believe this girl. “Are you kidding me? What are you going to do, Laura?” I raise my brows, waiting for some stupid smartarse comment from her. “Nothing, exactly, so I’ll ask again, what the hell has anything to do with my brother’s death got to do with you?”

  “We’re family, Katy, you, me, Mickey, and Phil. Best friends, remember?”

  I laugh. “Yeah, I remember that. Our parents used to say that we’re family. Tell me something, Laura, where were you and Phil when I needed you? Where were you when they lowered my brother’s coffin into the ground?” I say through clenched teeth, my hands balling up into fists, “Where were you? Hmm?”

  She begins to cry. “We couldn’t come.”

  “Fuck off. You live not even five minutes away. What stopped you from coming?” I scream at her. The last bit of restraint I have is going.

  “We just couldn’t. If I could, I would have been there, but Katy, I really couldn’t,” she sobs, her tears making me angrier. “I’m so sorry, Katy.”

  I ignore her crocodile tears. “Where’s Phil?” That stops her sobs. I knew she was faking. “I need to talk to him. Where is he?”

  “You can’t, he’s at home. Leave him alone.” There’s a bite to her tone. What the hell? She confuses me so much.

  “I’m here,” a voice calls out, and I turn to see Phil striding towards us. “I overheard you talking to Mills, Laura.”

  Laura rushes over to him. “Phil, what the hell are you doing here? Are you crazy?”

  Phil begins to sob. “I can’t take it anymore. It’s killing me, Laura. I never meant to. I didn’t mean it.”

  His words register with me, and I instantly begin to shake as my heart starts to pound. No, it can’t be. That’s just stupid. He must be talking about something else, there’s no way he’d have done it.

  “Phil, shut up! Are you fucking mental? You’ll go to prison!” Laura screams at him. She grabs hold of his shoulders and begins to shake him. “No, we’re not letting it happen, go home.”

  “Sorry, Laura,” he says quietly as he gets out of her hold, walking over to Owen and me with his head down. “Katy, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt him.” His body is shaking as he cries.

  “Why did you then?” Owen asks, and I’m struggling right now to breathe. I grip hold of Owen’s leg as I wait for Phil to answer him.

  “He told me that he was leaving the NDZ, and you can’t do that, he couldn’t do that to me.” He glances over his shoulder towards Laura, who’s sobbing as she shakes her head. “He wasn’t allowed to quit. He wasn’t
allowed to leave us.”

  “What did you do?” I ask horrified.

  With tears streaming down his cheeks, Phil stares at me, and he looks like a terrified little boy. I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him it’s going to be okay. The boy who used to stay over and play pranks on me and his sister with my brother, the boy who, up until recently, I would have done anything for. “I shouldn’t have had it. I really shouldn’t. I found it in Roly’s bag and I took it. It was in my pocket, and when we were arguing he walked away, he turned his back on me yet again.”

  “Phil, what did you do?” I ask again. My legs are weak as I know what he’s going to say, but I still need him to say it.

  “I followed him. He was coming home, and we started arguing again. I felt the knife in my pocket, and when he called me a coward for staying with the NDZ, I lost it. I honestly don’t remember the knife going into him.”

  I sob, I wail, and I scream. He killed my brother. Phil! He was the person Mickey trusted the most. He was a brother to him, to us. He was family, and he took Mickey away from us. I hear doors opening and talking as I cry.

  Owen jumps off the bonnet and pulls me into his arms.

  “Katy?” That’s Dad’s voice. He pulls me from my sobs, and I turn back to the arsehole that’s standing in front of me. “Katy, are you okay?” Dad asks, I can hear the fear in his voice.

  “Why did you leave him there?” I ask. “You stabbed him, you could have saved him, Phil. You could have got help. We were only feet away, we could have saved him. Why did you leave him?” That’s what hurts the most. The last person to talk to Mickey betrayed him. That hurts so much.

  I hear gasps and sirens, but I don’t look around. Instead I stay focused on the boy in front of me. “Well?” I ask.

  “I panicked, okay? I didn’t know what to do.” He cries as Laura comes to stand beside him, offering him support.

  “You could have come to us! We could have saved him,” I cry, and Owen’s embrace tightens. “We could have saved him,” I whisper.

  “I’m sorry,” Phil tells me, but it’s just words.