by K. B. Wagers
“Did you get more out of Orrin?”
“Not really.” Johar wiggled a hand with a frown. “Interesting stuff, let’s say. I don’t want to talk about it in the open.”
Now, that was interesting. Enough so that I almost told her we should gather the others and talk about it now. “I don’t have to—”
Jo laughed and shook her head. “I’ll keep you updated. Go talk to your girl.” She tipped her head in Mia’s direction and waved a hand at me.
I tried to ignore the sudden thumping of my heart and wondered if Zin was watching me. It was probably a good thing; at least he’d tell Emmory I was fine. “Do you have a minute?” I asked Mia as she passed.
“I do. I’d like to shower if you can walk with me back to my quarters.” She rubbed at the back of her neck with her towel.
I swallowed the offer of my shower and nodded instead. We headed out of the gym and into the corridor with Kisah in front.
The biggest problem with this plan of mine, I realized, was that I had no idea what I needed to say to Mia. I’d managed to talk myself out of the idea that she was mad at me for some unknown transgression, but beyond that I wasn’t sure what I should say.
“What is it, Hail?” Mia asked, startling me out of my thoughts.
“I’ve been worried about you.” The words slipped out and I bit my lip with a glance at the ceiling. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”
“I am feeling fine.”
“Good.” We continued to her quarters. Talos sent me a sympathetic smile as we came in and joined Kisah in the corridor without comment. I waited for the door to close. “Are you going to tell me what you and Aiz argued about?”
Mia stopped on her way to the bathroom and looked over her shoulder. “I would if I thought it concerned you.”
“You want to come with me, I figure that qualifies me to at least know the basics.”
Mia smiled, but it was edged with a sharpness I hadn’t yet seen directed my way. “Don’t use that empress voice on me, Hail.”
I raised an eyebrow. “My apologies,” I said, switching to Shen. “I am the one in charge.”
“It pleases my brother to give up control for a while, especially to someone he trusts.”
I didn’t want to fight with her. I wanted to know what was wrong. Taking a deep breath, I crossed to her, slipped my hands into the pockets of my pants, and leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door. “What about you? Do you trust me?”
This time Mia’s smile was softer and she reached a hand out, trailing it over my lower lip as she passed. The jolt of electricity that shot through me was very real, but I didn’t move.
“I have built my whole life on knowing what is coming,” Mia said, continuing into the bathroom, and I tipped my head back against the wall with a silent exhale. “It made things more secure, but it also gave me an illusion of control.”
The water came on and for a moment it was the only sound in the room.
“I didn’t tell you the other day when you apologized, but you weren’t entirely wrong, Hail. I suspect of the two of us, you are far better equipped for the idea of not being in control. I am still trying to find my way.”
“I can’t quite figure out if this means you’re going to tell me why Aiz was upset that you want to come with me or not.”
Mia’s answering laugh was muffled as she stepped into the shower, and I stared at the ceiling for a long moment before closing my eyes. “Would you believe me if I told you it was as mundane as him being worried for my safety?”
“I might.” I couldn’t see a reason for her to lie to me about it anyway.
“It was, mostly anyway,” Mia continued. “I know the risks. The Svatir are friendly enough with the Shen, but it is important we make contact with the Istrevitel at the same time you do.” The water stopped. “I do trust you, Hail, with the lives of my people and my brother.” She sighed and I stayed where I was, my heart thudding in my ears as Mia wrestled with whatever it was she needed to say.
I hadn’t missed that she didn’t say she’d trust me with her life. Was she so certain of the future that put her on that cold metal table?
“Will you take it the wrong way if I say I do not want the Shen to get lost in the blaze of the Star of Indrana? You burn so brightly.” Her words were accompanied by the touch of her hand on my arm, and only then did I open my eyes to look at her.
I smiled down at her, thankful she’d gotten dressed and wasn’t standing there in a towel. Though that thought sent my brain spinning in a whole other direction and I cleared my throat. “I won’t. You have your people to think of, it’s only right.”
It was easy enough to say, even more easy to realize I meant it. Mia’s devotion to her people ran deeper than this thing between us. I didn’t blame her. I had to put my people first also, and the time we had together was fast ticking away.
Mia stepped closer, sliding her arms around my waist with a smile. “You are an amazing human being, Hail Bristol. It would be all too easy to get pulled into your orbit and never want to leave.”
Gita’s fears of Mia being swept away by some adoration of me were apparently unfounded, but her fears that this would be the death of me were spot on. Which made the next words difficult but so very necessary.
“Should we step back from this?” I flexed my hands where they rested on her hips and watched the confusion flicker through her gray eyes.
“Is that what you want?”
I wanted forever, but I already knew I wasn’t getting that. One of us was going to die, or maybe both of us. I shoved my desire away in the back of my heart along with everything else I’d hidden since waking up on the floor of my ship covered in Portis’s blood. I swallowed and leaned in, pressing my forehead to hers and resisting the urge to close my eyes.
“This thing between us is so tangled it’s sometimes hard to believe it’s real. I can’t breathe when I look at you, and the thought of losing you—” I couldn’t hold her gaze and pulled away, looking at the ceiling until the tears cleared from my eyes as I wrestled with the need to demand that she tell me how I could save her. “I would survive it, I think, knowing everything I know now.”
“That’s not really an answer,” Mia said. “I have asked myself the same questions, you know, and my thoughts run on the same path as yours. Now you see why it was so important to get it right back on Sparkos? Why you needed that space and this time to see if what you were feeling was real?”
“I do,” I whispered. “I knew it at the time, too, I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“What do you want, Hail?”
“I want whatever you are willing to give.” I pressed my forehead to hers again. “But I am also all too aware of the responsibilities both of us have.”
She smiled and cupped my face in her hands, pressing her lips to mine. “That’s the thing about responsibilities,” she murmured against my mouth. “If you have enough of them it also usually means you’re in a position to ignore them for a while.”
I put everything else aside and sank into the kiss.
26
I stood on the bridge of the Hailimi and kept my mouth shut through sheer force of will at the sight of the impressive starship that had greeted us at the rendezvous point.
It was so black that if it hadn’t been in front of Ndrog, the bright green planet below, I’d have had trouble picking it out against the backdrop of space. And something told me that the only reason it was showing up on our sensors was that they wanted to be seen.
The Istrevitel, it seemed, took their mission as protectors of the Svatir very seriously. Understandable, given how the Svatir’s pacifist ways left them vulnerable to the rest of us.
Humans didn’t travel to the Svatir homeworld often, but there were enough conclaves in human space that a curious person could seek them out. I’d done just that on a trip to Binphos when Hao had left me to my own devices while he closed a deal.
The group I’d found had been older, weathered face
s and wrinkled hands, but they’d welcomed me into their home—a spacious warren of rooms that were all interconnected, much like the Svatir themselves. They’d cooed over my green hair, their own colored hair mostly dulled with age, and fed me until Hao had shown up with a roll of his eyes and shake of his head to lead me back to the ship.
I’d sought out more Svatir as we traveled; something about their quiet, peaceful nature had drawn me in, despite my gunrunner ways.
But the sight before us was unlike anything of the Svatir. This was a ship built for war.
“Jealous?” Hao murmured from my right side.
“A little,” I admitted. “But can you imagine?”
“Oh yeah. Give me half a dozen and we’d run the whole human arm of the galaxy within the month.”
“Are you two finished?” Gita asked, and I turned to her with a beaming smile.
“Vessel is hailing us, Your Majesty,” Captain Saito said before I could respond to Gita.
“Put it through.”
I straightened as the screen at the front of the bridge resolved to show Captain Zov. There were two Istrevitel behind her, both with snow-white hair and a single white dot on their left cheeks.
“Star of Indrana, we thank you for coming.”
“Captain Zov. It’s a pleasure to be here.”
“I wish that were the case.” Her smile was humorless. “We have much to discuss. The Svatir representatives are already here. We will meet you on the surface unarmed. You are welcome to bring whatever weapons you feel necessary, though I give you my word we are here to help you with the coming threat.”
“My Ekam appreciates the gesture, Captain. We’ll see you on the ground.” I turned to Emmory as the connection was terminated. “Take us down, Captain Saito. Ekam, shall we?”
Emmory nodded once, falling into step next to me. Gita and Hao were in front as we headed for the cargo bay where the other BodyGuards along with Johar, Alba, and Dailun were waiting. Mia stood apart, her arms wrapped around her waist and her eyes locked on nothing across the cargo bay.
She’d been silent on the trip, even though she shared my bed without question. The quiet worried me. As did Aiz’s words just before we’d left Faria, which were still ringing in my head.
“Keep her safe.”
“She’s perfectly capable.” My smile faded when he didn’t echo it. “What, Aiz? What am I missing?”
“I don’t know.” He looked around for his sister as he dropped his voice and leaned in. “She would kill me for telling you and she won’t tell me the details, so I can’t share them. I only know that something awful has been stalking my sister’s steps for her whole life, and you are the only one who can keep her safe. So I’ll beg you, Hail, on the strength of our friendship. Don’t let her get hurt.”
“I won’t. I swear.” I put my hands over his, but I didn’t tell him that I’d seen some of what was coming. That even if Mia wouldn’t share it with him, I knew enough to know I’d do anything to keep that vision of her dead on an autopsy table from coming true.
I was already armed, my Glocks still in place as we came down the ramp. The soil under our boots was blue-black, shimmering in the midday sun like the volcanic deposits of Santa Pirata.
The crowd that waited for us a respectful distance from the ramp was similar to something one would see in Shanghai Port or the massive planetary market of Jemaa Fin. But though the handful of people had hair in a riot of colors, they were not human. They all had those distinctive Svatir black eyes that were shot through with silver.
I spotted Captain Zov and the pair I assumed were her lieutenants standing just a bit apart. They were the only ones with the markings on their faces. The other Svatir had bare cheeks. Zov and her people were dressed in blue-gray uniforms built for movement rather than show, and they were all unarmed as promised.
But they were relaxed, at ease, and smiling at us.
A Svatir with long hair a lighter pink than Dailun’s stepped forward with hands extended, palms up. They looked feminine, but Dailun had told me a great many of his people didn’t care for the binary explanations of gender and that those who did would introduce themselves as Dirah had done.
“Your Imperial Majesty. I am Tsia Santi Brov, of the Svatir. It is a great honor to meet you, circumstances being what they are.”
Dailun had already given me a refresher on greetings, so I laid my own hands on top of theirs with a smile. “It is the same for us, Tsia Brov. If I could also introduce Mia Cevalla, co-leader of the Shen.”
Santi repeated the gesture with Mia. “If you would follow me. I can tell you about this planet as we walk.”
Once upon a time the formality of the Svatir had been a comfort to me, but now it just chafed like a too-tight bandage over a healing wound.
At an order from Emmory, no doubt issued via smati, Iza, Indula, and Kisah went ahead of us toward the low-slung building a dozen meters away. Santi gestured and a Svatir with deep red hair followed them.
The others would not be introduced to me. They could speak to my people, and if I chose to speak to them, they could introduce themselves, but Santi was apparently the only Svatir allowed the dubious honor of this ceremony.
Captain Zov watched the exchange with hard eyes and an amazingly impassive face I was reasonably sure was hiding her annoyance at the formality.
As tempting as it was to throw a social grenade down and disrupt the proceedings, I allowed Santi to lead us toward the building, Mia between us and Emmory on my other side. The Istrevitel had fallen back with Dailun, a nod of greeting between them but no words.
“This is a remote planet. There are some scientists on the other side, but it is otherwise uninhabited. We would have loved to receive you on our homeworld with the sort of recognition that a person such as yourself is due, but—”
I raised an eyebrow. “But what?”
“We cannot allow the people to see the Istrevitel.”
“Ah. That’s right, you’ve kept the information from your people that there’s a group who’ve sworn to protect them.” I was apparently going for the grenade option, judging from Santi’s shocked look and the indrawn breaths behind me.
“We have chosen the path of peace, Star of Indrana. To allow such knowledge is counter to that path. We do not need our people dreaming of violence and war and death.”
“It’s been my experience that those things happen even if you don’t dream of them.”
Santi sighed. “I do not expect you of all humans to understand our choices, Star of Indrana. The path you walk has been coated in blood almost from the day of your birth; it is hard for one to see past all that and into the truth that less violence, not more, is always an option. We are here.”
I slid Emmory a sideways glance as Santi pressed their palm to the panel beside the door. His answering eyebrow was a wealth of silent conversation punctuated by a smile.
The distraction allowed Mia to try to slip into the building ahead of us, but I caught her by the arm before she could clear the door.
“Emmory first.” I shook my head when she raised an eyebrow at me and continued in Shen. “Don’t give me that look, Mia Cevalla. You’re not my BodyGuard, and my ability to bring you back to life alone is probably something we shouldn’t put to the test. If you go and get killed, Aiz is going to have words for me.”
“You are more important than me.”
I tightened my grip on her upper arm, watched her mouth thin in response. “Don’t ever say that. I am no more important than any other living being.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but then we both realized everyone was staring at us and she snapped it shut, forcing a smile as she slipped out of my grasp and through the doorway. The others followed, leaving me alone with my Ekam.
“Everything okay?”
I didn’t look at Emmory as the question came over our private com. “Fine. Strategy discussion.”
“That’s what you’re calling it?”
“Close enough.”
<
br /> “You know Aiz gave us a database of the Shen language for our smatis, right?”
I had not known that and I closed my eyes as the embarrassment swamped me. “Any particular reason I didn’t get an upload?” I asked out loud as we crossed the threshold into the wide corridor.
Emmory looked embarrassed for just a moment before the expression vanished. “I assumed you wanted to keep working on it. I should have asked.”
“It’s fine.” I patted his arm and glanced ahead. “Don’t let her go first again, okay?”
“Of course, Majesty.” To his credit Emmory didn’t mention that three of my BodyGuards were already inside, a fact I remembered when I spotted Indula standing by a door farther down the corridor. Though this planet was only for research, the building was designed the same as the conclaves I’d visited in my youth, and the comforting, enclosed design was soothing rather than setting off my claustrophobia.
Still, when I followed Emmory into the room, I automatically searched for the exit on the far side.
The first half of the meeting passed with little more than small talk until we took a short break for lunch. I leaned against the far wall, wrestling with my impatience at the performative politics even as I reminded myself that it was all necessary.
Santi and the other Svatir were clustered on one side, with Iza standing between us and them.
Captain Zov and her people were opposite them. They were relaxed, fascinatingly so, and she smiled when I caught her eye.
You’re focusing on the wrong thing, Haili. My father’s voice was loud in my head.
“Hai Ram.” I rubbed a hand over my cheek. He was right. I wasn’t here for a state visit with the Svatir. They weren’t going to help me with the threat of the Hiervet no matter what we did.
The Istrevitel would, and here I was ignoring the one person who’d come to talk to me in the first place.
I caught Hao’s tiny smile of approval when I gestured to Mia and we crossed the room to where Captain Zov stood with her people. “Captain, I hope you’ll forgive me. I should have greeted you sooner,” I said. “This is Mia Cevalla, the leader of the Shen.”
