by K. B. Wagers
“It is a pleasure.” Dirah smiled at Mia. “We understand the demands on your time and the necessities of this performance,” Dirah replied, extending her hand palm out to me in a surprisingly Indranan gesture. “And we go where our leadership tells us, so you did no insult speaking with Tsia Brov and the others before me.”
I touched my palm to hers in greeting. That was a twist I wasn’t expecting. I’d thought they were essentially an independent force, but it appeared the Istrevitel were still willing to follow the orders of the Svatir government even as they disagreed with the pacifist majority.
“I’d like to know more about the Istrevitel and it seems you’d be the person to speak with, Captain.”
“Ask your questions, Star of Indrana.”
“To start, Hail, please.” I closed my eyes briefly at Emmory’s unsubtle throat-clearing. “Your Majesty, if necessary. That Star of Indrana title is cumbersome. Will you explain to me how this all works? I’ll admit my initial assumptions seem to be wrong.”
Dirah’s smile lit up her face and she gestured at the nearby chairs, waiting as I picked one that put my back to the wall before choosing her own. “Officially, of course, the Istrevitel don’t exist. When we join, we are wiped from the collective memory.”
“Dailun told me it wasn’t possible to alter memories.” I glanced across the room where he and Alba were in conversation with Santi.
“He wouldn’t know,” Dirah replied. “Only the Memory Keepers have this power and it is only used to keep the Istrevitel a secret.”
I doubted that. No government in existence would use that kind of power for only one thing.
“I don’t understand why the need for such secrecy.” I shook my head. “Why not just have a defense force? That is not unusual among our people.”
“It is not our way, Your Majesty,” Dirah replied, her smile patient. “The Svatir put down their weapons because of our past and the horror of the war with the Hiervet. Some of us make the sacrifice of being forgotten to ensure that tragedy never happens again.” She braced a hand on her knee and stared at the floor for a long moment. “I realize this is strange to you, Your Majesty, but our nature does not allow for much subtlety. With our collective memories we remember every transgression, every injury done to us and our loved ones. It pushed us into madness.”
It was an echo of Thyra’s words—though I doubted Dirah would appreciate the comparison, so I kept the thought to myself. It was so ironically alien to me, this idea that people couldn’t change.
Was it truly just a human concept? An ability unique to us that allowed us to change our lives, our natures, our very souls? Except I had seen Aiz and Fasé change, both Farian and Shen willing to walk away from the hurts of the past. And they were as long-lived as the Svatir, so what made them different?
“So you live apart from the rest of your people, but you are spacefaring; how do they keep you a secret?”
“We live in a system not far from here on the outer edge of Svatir space. One that is recorded as uninhabitable and dangerous. It is, in fact, quite pleasant. Two of the planets are well suited for our needs. We use the third for training and have a shipyard on it as well. We get the majority of our supplies from home through a variety of channels. Commandant Fej is in charge of administrative issues; I am in charge of the troops.”
“How many troops?”
“Five million or so.” Dirah wiggled a hand. “Our newest recruits are only a few months into their training but could be called to fight if necessary.”
“What age do your children join? Are there options for those who don’t want to fight?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Oh no, Your Majesty. There are no children. We are all sterilized when we join.”
27
You are what?” My exclamation was loud enough to get the attention of the Svatir, and Santi came over to join us. “You sterilize them?” I demanded.
“The Istrevitel do not have children, Your Majesty. That would not be fair to them,” Santi said. “We allow the oath-breakers to recruit in secret once a season, but there are no children born to those who walked away from peace.”
Dirah snorted. “We had to plead our case on that front. If we did not recruit we’d end up with only the criminals and cast-offs that the government wishes to get rid of, not a great foundation for a fighting force.”
“You’d be surprised,” I replied. “Some of the best people I’ve had at my side were technically criminals.”
Dirah answered my smile with one of her own. “Not in the least, Your Majesty. I am a criminal myself, given the choice of joining the Istrevitel or death for my part in the murder of a man who killed my little sister.” Dirah’s smile widened at my raised eyebrow. “He deserved it and I do not regret my choice to join the Istrevitel. It led me here with my comrades. Funny how the universe works, isn’t it?”
Funny wasn’t the word I’d have chosen. I’d done the same thing—murdered the man who killed my family—even though some would say it was self-defense. I’d gotten a crown out of the deal, not exile from everything I’d ever known.
“You’ve never actually been in combat, though, right?”
She didn’t seem the least bit bothered by my question. “We have not, Your Majesty. There is no one to fight. We train in simulations using models programmed from the memories of the fight with the Hiervet. There are some obvious assumptions given the passing of time, but the simulations try to account for any possible advances in technology and fighting style.”
“Interesting. I have some data from our recent interaction with a Hiervet ship that you might find helpful.”
“You have done battle with them?” Dirah sat upright, the expression on her face a mixture of surprise and anticipation, and Santi gasped in horror.
“Not directly.” I shook my head. “I was otherwise occupied when the Hiervet ships attacked a Farian fleet.”
“They are back.” Dirah was practically vibrating with excitement. Her companions were grinning. “Santi, you must speak with the government to release us to fight.”
“You have no proof the Hiervet are coming.” Santi shook their head. “And without that we cannot in good conscience release the Istrevitel.”
“She just gave you proof!”
“Hold on.” I put my hand up. “Tsia Brov, I understand the hesitation by the Svatir, but the fact of the matter is the Hiervet are coming. I saw them with my own eyes. They blew up a Farian ship and nearly took me with it. We suspect they are coming because of the Farian Hiervet, but—”
All the Svatir and Istrevitel stiffened at my words. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but what did you say?” Captain Zov’s voice was filled with poorly restrained astonishment.
I tucked my tongue into my cheek to keep my curse in my mouth.
“Probably should have led with that, sha zhu,” Hao said from Gita’s side.
“I would have had I known.” I shot Dailun a stern look. “I thought you passed that information along.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, jiejie. I did not.”
I folded my hands and bowed in my seat, first toward Santi and then to Dirah. “My apologies. We apparently forgot to relay a key piece of information to you in the midst of all this excitement. The ‘gods’ who have been guiding the Farians for all this time are a trio of Hiervet. They are what’s left of the ten who found their way to the planet after their ship was damaged in the fight with your people.”
“You killed the others?”
“I did not.” I lifted a hand. “Aiz Cevalla and some others were responsible—”
“We have heard the story of Aiz Cevalla versus the Farian gods but did not understand the implications.” Dirah picked up the thread when I fumbled over how to describe what had happened with Aiz all those years ago. “Now that you tell us they were Hiervet it seems he did the galaxy a great service.”
Mia accepted the smile the Istrevitel offered with a nod and a smile of her own. “I’ll pass that alo
ng to him, Captain.”
“I appreciate it.”
The jealousy that surged up in my gut was startling in its intensity, and I had to consciously take my hand off the butt of my gun.
Emmory, of course, noticed and raised a curious eyebrow at me. I shook my head. Even if I’d had words to explain what had just gone on in my head, this was so far away from the place to discuss it as to be back on Pashati.
“Why have you not killed these Farian Hiervet, Your Majesty?” Dirah asked.
“I have my reasons.” My response was sharper than I’d intended, but something about the question rankled.
“What possible reason would be good enough? We know of the brutality of the Hiervet; every Svatir has those memories.”
Chance had me looking across the room when the Istrevitel captain spoke, and I saw the Svatir in the back, who’d been watching us silently, flinch.
That’s interesting.
“The Star’s reasons were sound at the time, Captain Zov,” Mia said, pulling my attention away from the silent Svatir in the corner. “There are politics at work you are not familiar with that required certain concessions. Her decision was supported not only by my brother and me but by the new leadership of the Farians.”
Dirah inclined her head. “My apologies, Your Majesty. I should have considered that you have more things to manage than just this.”
“Apology accepted,” I replied. “I think what I would love, Captain Zov, is a tour of your training facilities. We could do that while Tsia Brov goes back to the government and speaks with them about the necessity of allowing you to work with us given the new information they now have.”
Santi’s mouth tightened briefly, but they knew I’d made a move they couldn’t ignore. “Very well, Your Majesty. You have clearance to go with Captain Zov if she agrees. I will head back to speak with the others.”
“I will send your ship the coordinates, Your Majesty,” the captain said.
I folded my hands together and shook them in her direction. “We look forward to seeing what your people can do.”
“You okay?”
Mia turned away from the window with a smile. “Tired.” She pulled her knees up to her chest when I sat on the bed next to her.
“May I?” I gestured at her hair and she shifted to give me access. I undid her braid, letting the brown curls wrap around my fingers as I carefully combed her hair out.
Mia sighed, the tension in her shoulders loosening, and she relaxed back against me. “I should message Aiz.”
“He can wait.” I slid my hands up over her neck, into her hair, and rubbed gently at her scalp. “My sisters and I used to do this when we were little.”
“Not quite the same,” Mia murmured, and I laughed softly at the desire in her voice as she turned her head toward mine.
“Not quite.”
“You were jealous of Captain Zov’s flirting today.”
I froze, my hands buried in her hair and my mouth almost touching hers.
Mia caught me before I could pull away, the smile on her face brighter than the sun. She kissed me and laughed. “It was cute. You practically snarled at her.”
“Is that why you backed me about not killing Thyra and Adaran?”
“No.” Mia kissed me again, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I did that because you’ve been right about everything else and we both know that killing them would destroy this fragile peace we have all worked for,” she whispered against my ear, the brush of her lips along my skin sending shocks down my spine.
“For one who has lived so long, you understand so little.” Mia was defiant, blood spilling from the cut in her cheek as she got to her feet.
“This fragile peace of yours comes to an end above us. There is nothing you can do. Your Star is not coming for you. We will raise our children to meet our failed siblings in battle and destroy them. Then we will conquer this galaxy the way it should have been so long ago.”
Mia smiled. “She will find a way to defeat you. I know this as well as I know my death is yours. I’ve known that for my whole life and I welcome the cost of keeping everyone I love safe from you.”
Thyra hissed and slammed her limb into Mia’s chest, piercing her through the heart.
“Hail!”
I scrambled away from Mia, forgetting where I was as the scream of anguish caught itself in my throat, sharp claws of pain digging in. I hit the floor hard as the door slid open and Emmory skidded through with his Hessian in his hand.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Mia said. She hadn’t moved from the bed. Emmory wasn’t pointing his gun at her, but Gita was. “We were talking and then she screamed.”
“Majesty?” Emmory holstered his gun as Gita came through the door behind him and went to a knee by my head. “Stay down for a moment,” he ordered.
“I’m fine.” I pushed myself up on an elbow. “Please tell me you didn’t call Dr. Vohra?”
A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “I might still if you don’t stay down.”
“I’m all right.” I closed my eyes, saw the image of Mia dying again, and opened them with a curse. “I’m all right, Emmory, I promise. I’ll explain later.”
He helped me up but held on and studied my face for a long minute before he let go and ushered Gita back out of the room.
“Hail, what happened?”
I dragged both hands through my hair, disheveling the still-braided strands until Mia tsked and dragged me back to the bed. She allowed me the silence to collect my thoughts as she carefully undid her morning work and rebraided my hair into a single plait.
The memory of that last piece of the vision I’d seen from Mia rolled through me, clamoring for attention. I was going to have to disrupt our peace; there was no way I could ignore it any longer. “Can I ask you something and get a straight answer?”
“Of course you can.”
“Do you know when Thyra is going to kill you?”
“What?” I felt her hands still in my hair. “Hail, how did you—”
“I saw it. Back when you had the vision of Adora escaping and I was… I don’t know why I saw it. Because I was touching you? I saw that and I saw you die. Aiz told me you had seen something you wouldn’t share with him; I didn’t tell him I knew, but I can’t—” Suddenly needing to do anything but sit there, I got to my feet and paced the bedroom. “It’s lodged in my head like a splinter of glass. I keep seeing it in bits and pieces, Mia, and I can’t be quiet about it any longer.”
“Hail.”
I spun on my heel to look at her. Mia’s face was ashen and there were tears in her eyes. “I am sorry,” she whispered. “Sorry you had to see that.”
“I’m not. You should have told me.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I understand what I saw, Mia. You dead. You split open on a table. Me dead, also because of Thyra.” I forced the words out; putting them into the air made them all the more real. “Tell me how we avoid this.”
She shook her head slowly and my heart broke into a thousand pieces. “We cannot. You can avoid this death, but not me. This is where every path takes us and it is the only way we win.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. The only way you stay alive is by staying away.”
“No.”
“It’s all right, Hail.” Mia slid off the bed and crossed to me, taking my hands. “I made my peace with this a very long time ago. It is what’s meant to be. One life for the safety of the galaxy is nothing. One life for my people’s future is nothing.”
“It’s not all right!” Anger overtook the grief. “Is that what you meant on Ndrog about my life being more important?”
“You are the Star of Indrana. Everything hinges on your survival,” Mia said, her voice so calm it cut to the bone. “You must be protected at all costs or everything is lost.”
“I am no more fucking valuable than anyone else, Mia.”
Images crashe
d into my head even as I said the words. Of Jet grabbing Ramani and running through a crowded square. Of Cas with his head bowed. Of every single one of my people, putting themselves into the line of fire to keep my ass safe. I shook my head so hard it sent my braid flying into the air. “I am not worth this.”
“You can’t fight it.” Mia reached out and touched my cheek. “What you saw are the options. If you live, it’s because you made the right choice. The one where you didn’t come for me. Where you didn’t die. You saw what happens if you try to save me, Hail. You will not save me. You will die and that cannot be allowed to come to pass.”
Your Star is not coming for you.
One would think I’d be less sanguine about the idea of my impending death, but the truth of the matter was I was ready to face it if I had to. I hadn’t lied to Hao; I didn’t have a death wish. Not in the sense he’d meant. I wasn’t going to throw my life away without a purpose. I just knew how this story needed to end for everyone else to make it out safe and I’d made my peace with it.
The irony of how alike Mia and I were in this was not lost on me, but I wasn’t about to admit that to anyone, let alone her.
I shook my head, dislodging Mia’s hand. “You are mad if you think I will walk away from this. If you think I would leave you there alone. I will always come for you.”
“You cannot follow where I will go.” She gripped my hands. “Please do this for me, make me this one promise. I won’t be the cause of your death, Hail. I can’t do what needs to be done if I think you’re going to die because of me.”
“But you want me to do the same.” I choked down a bitter laugh. “You know how many people I have let die. I won’t do it again. And Aiz? You have to tell your brother.”
“He cannot know.” Fear flashed into Mia’s eyes. “His path is to rule the Shen, Hail. To forge this peace with Fasé and bring our people home. Whatever grand pronouncements he makes about holding to that, he will throw it all away to save me. You know this. I can’t let that happen.”
