by Rhonda Lott
“Why?” Dawn asked.
Kane didn’t answer her. He removed his backpack and pulled out his Browning Pistol. Then he placed some large cans that were stacked up in spots along the ground, onto the fence. Dawn’s eyes were wide, following him every step he made.
“I’m going to teach you how to shoot a gun. Now I know you might not have a lot of experience with one. But you must know how to handle one in case someone gets to you and I’m not around.” Kane reached out his hand for hers.
The biggest grin Kane had ever seen spread across Dawn’s face, her eyes sparkled like shimmering topaz. She took his breath away.
“You’re going to teach me to shoot. Oh God Kane, no one has ever done anything so great for me before. Thank you.” She gushed, throwing herself at him, hugging him hard. Dawn pulled away, holding out her hand, wiggling her fingers like a kid wanting candy.
“I wasn’t expecting that reaction, but yeah.”
“I want to be able to protect myself. I don’t want to be a victim ever again.” Dawn said.
Kane got that. His military training turned him into a weapon. It felt good knowing you had the knowledge and power to handle any given situation. He ran through safety procedures and how to hold and sight the gun on the target. Dawn followed his instructions, asking him question after question. She was a quick learner, anxious to know everything about handling the weapon.
By the time evening was approaching, Kane was sure that she could at least hit a set target. He was also sure that his dick had never been so hard for so long in his whole life. Wrapping his arms around Dawn showing her how to aim and fire the gun had him right up against her firm ass all afternoon. Her rosemary scent smelled so delicious and she felt so warm and vibrant, she was driving him stark raving mad. His promise of friendship was the only thing stopping Kane from throwing her down on the grass and giving her the ride of her life.
“Enough of this for today. You did real good.” Kane walked away. How could he be outside and still feel like he needed fresh air?
DAWN
What the hell, Kane ran hot then cold. He felt amazing standing behind her teaching her how to shoot the gun. His powerful thighs pressed up against her. His erection bumping her lower back, even though he tried valiantly to keep it from her. Kane wanted her. Dawn’s heart was galloping in her chest. Sexy as hell Kane McAdams wanted her. She was ecstatic and terrified.
Kane was at the backpacks removing food they had packed. His brows were pulled down and his face was a mask of irritation.
“Kane, are you angry with me?” Dawn asked apprehensively.
He blew out a long breath. “No, beauty, I’m angry at myself. I made a vow to treat you as a friend and I fucking can’t stop thinking about…well, other stuff.” Kane bit into his sandwich. Clearly not in a joking mood right then.
Dawn sat next to him and started eating. Her mind racing. What would it be like to actually be with a man? She was certain that Kane would make the experience one to remember for a lifetime. She realized that for all of the past few months she knew Kane, he had never, not once tried to make a move on her.
“Kane do you remember when I was in the hospital with the concussion?” Dawn asked, putting away her food.
“Yeah, how could I forget, you survived the fire meant to kill your family. It was one fucked up night.”
“You saw the marks on my body that night. You saw how Mac scarred me up. I asked you to never tell Alex and you kept my secret.” Dawn placed her hand on his. “I think from that day forward you and I became connected. I might have snapped and fought with you all the time, but that was because I wanted to keep you at arm’s length, I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what, Dawn? Afraid that I might betray your trust or that I might hurt you like Mac?” Kane’s bright eyes were troubled.
“I was afraid of how much I liked you, how much I respected you for keeping your word, and how you were breaking down all my defenses. You became my friend that night.” Dawn took a deep breath. “I’ve never been with a man before. I would trust myself to you.” She gave him a small smile. She was nervous, but she had to tell Kane how she felt. Dawn wanted Kane to know she was trusting him to be different than all the rest. She knew he was. Kane was unexpected and enticing. He was a new direction for her to travel.
“Beauty,” Kane’s large hand cupped her cheek and then he gently pressed his lips to hers, nothing demanding, soft pressure of his lips on hers. So simple, the meeting of man to woman. He was telling her she was special to him.
“Dawn, I’m honored more than I can say.”
Dawn felt as if a huge weight lifted from her chest. She told Kane she wanted him, giving him the green light to do whatever he wanted. He just gave her the sweetest kiss and held her hand. It was a light bulb moment for her. She always thought the second she let a man know she was interested they would pounce. That’s how most men acted. Like she was some sex addicted porn star because her body was shaped the way it was. Kane was undeniably different.
“Kane?” Dawn scooted closer to him. “I said that I would trust myself to you, meaning—“
“Meaning you would allow me to make love to you.” Kane brushed one finger along her jaw line, tilting her face to him.
“Yes.” Dawn stated firmly, even though her insides were jelly.
“I promised you friendship and that’s what I’m going to give.” Kane said.
Dawn decided to be brave. Throwing one leg over him, she sat on his lap. “You’re a jokester, you are joking, right?” Placing her hands on his shoulders, she looked deep into his eyes.
“No joke, I gave you my word.” Kane gripped her hips to hold her away from his boner.
Dawn wasn’t having that. She sat down firmly on top of his erection and swirled her hips. Heat shot through her. It was so sudden, her desire, it frightened her a little. Kane made her comfortable, he made her bold, and well, he made her want to do the dirty. Yep, she wanted to see what this sex thing was all about. She was a grown woman and if she wanted to fuck this beautiful man, then why shouldn’t she?
“Take it back, Kane.” She demanded, placing her lips up against his full kissable ones. Her hands searching and finding the hem of his sweat shirt, pulling up until her hands were roaming all over smooth solid chest.
“Not gonna happen.” Kane told her, his voice rough, his breath tingling on her lips.
“Oh yes you will my beast. You’re gonna give me what I want.” Dawn kissed him hard. Her tongue slipping between his lips, tasting the sweet hotness within. She felt his hands grab her ass, he pushed up into her and groaned into her mouth.
Kane took control of the kiss, pulling her head to his and thrusting his tongue to meet hers. It was Dawns turn to moan. She had never in her life felt anything like the throb of her body for him. It hurt so good. Her mind couldn’t keep up with her body. So this is what sexual pleasure feels like. She knew how it felt when she touched herself but this, this was on another level.
Kane ripped his lips away and flipped them, his hulking body dwarfing hers. Dawn caught her breath when she looked into his eyes and saw the raging desire for her. Shit, she did that to him, it was empowering. I am a sex goddess.
“Dawn, we have to take this slower. The attraction between us is undeniable. I want you so damn bad, I think I might explode. But you’ve been through so much, I don’t want you to have regrets later.” Kane caressed her face, and then kissed her with heart stopping tenderness. Pulling back slowly, Kane rose to his feet, lifting her into his embrace.
Dawn tucked her head under his chin and held on tight. Kane McAdams had honor in boat loads, damn him. Other men begged for a taste of her. Here she was throwing herself at him and because of his wonderfully stupid vow, he wouldn’t make love to her. Not yet, but very soon she thought, grinning into his sweat shirt.
CHAPTER FOUR
KANE
Kane expected dinner to be awkward, but it was far from it. They prepared Chicken Alfredo, with salad and breads
ticks. Dawn was very good in the kitchen, accusing him of being all thumbs and shooing him out. Kane felt as if they had known each other a lot longer than three months. When the meal was ready Dawn called him back to the sturdy wooden table.
Kane tasted his food, it made his eyes roll back in his head, it was so delicious. Dawn smiled sweet as you please with a told you so look.
“This is so damn good, beauty.”
“Thank you.” Dawn replied taking small bites of her food, grinning, eyes shining as she watched Kane eat with manly gusto.
“How did you learn to cook like this?”
“My mother taught me.” Dawn said, dropping her eyes to her plate.
“That was a good thing right, being a good cook will serve you well in life.” Kane nodded.
“My mother taught me to cook to serve her. She didn’t give a shit about me. She was a selfish woman, the only thing in the world that meant anything to her was herself.” Dawn continued eating avoiding eye contact.
Kane reached over touching her hand. “Dawn tell me about it. Sometimes it helps to tell another person. I’ll never judge you.”
Dawn brought her gaze up to him. Kane felt a rush of protectiveness come over him. She appeared so broken for a moment, then there was nothing. Blank eyes. He’d lost her. Kane didn’t understand why he felt the urgent need to shelter her from any harm, even her past pain, but there it was churning away inside.
“My own mother hated me. That’s not something you go around telling people. It was as if she had postpartum depression for twenty one years.” Dawn snorted, folding her arms across her chest. “Never once did she show any scrap of affection or love for me. I don’t talk about her or my past. It gives the memories power over my present. I want to keep my eyes straight forward, deal with what’s right in front of me.”
“That may be a good coping mechanism. I cope differently. I say fuck the past, the present, and the future. Live gloriously right now. When it’s lights out then it’s lights out.” He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss there. Kane felt her tremble and release a low sigh.
“What are you coping with, Mr. happy?” Dawn asked, with a smirk.
Kane stood, her hand still in his and walked them to the sofa. The fire in the fireplace, crackled and popped. It’s flickering light made the room feel cozy, relaxing. Sitting on the floor with his back to the sofa, Kane gently tugged Dawn down next to him. She wore her armor, black sweater and black tights. Comfy clothes for sure but Kane knew they were a reflection of how she felt about life right now.
“What I’m about to tell you, I’ve never told to another person. I meant what I said about talking about your past.” He turned to the beautiful woman by his side. “My military shrink gave me that advice and until now there hasn’t been any one close enough to me to talk to.”
“What about your brother?”
“Especially couldn’t talk to him. David takes on everyone’s problems as if they were his own. I love my brother and I know he loves me. Because of that love he has for me, I kept quiet.” Kane sighed, “Listen Dawn, we’ve promised to be friends, now let’s make another vow?”
“Ok…I’m listening.” Dawn said, biting her lip.
“Good, listening is good. I’m not even sure I can dredge this shit up anyway, but I have an idea that we can help each other.” Kane looked deep into her mesmerizing brown eyes. What he had to say was buried deep. But he wanted for some unexplainable reason to tell her, and only her.
“I’m willing to listen to anything you have to say. I truly want to be the person to help you. After all, you were there when Mac’s man tried to burn me alive. You watched over me at the hospital. You even killed the bastard, freeing me and Alex.” She turned her body around facing him. “You have helped me more than I believe I can ever help you.
Her words were so heartfelt and her face so earnest that Kane felt a lump in his throat. The events of his past were dark nasty things, would this gorgeous woman look at him differently after she heard them? Kane was almost afraid she would, but that look on her face gave him courage and hope.
DAWN
Her heart was pounding away. Dawn wasn’t fearful for herself. She was responding to the look in Kane’s eyes. A look anger and sadness overtook him. Facing her but seeing beyond her into his nightmare.
“David and I lost our mom to cancer when I was twelve years old. David was the man of the house way before she passed away though. He was my protector, brother, and farther. He was solid even back then. A man at fourteen, just as serious and determined as he is now, but he was too young to take care of me on his own. As our only living relative our Aunt Pattie took us in. Let’s just say she was not a very upstanding individual.” Kane gave a shutter and a tick started in his jaw.
“What was she like? Did she at least take good care of you guys?” Dawn knew the answer to her question almost before she asked it. Kane went through hell with this woman, she could feel it in her bones.
“No, she did as little as possible for us. Every penny she could get she spent on drugs. She barely fed us. David left for the service when he turned eighteen, leaving me with her. He didn’t want to leave me. He figured he could send home a stipend for me monthly making things better for me. It went straight into Pattie’s arm or who knows where.”
“Oh, God Kane. I’m so sorry.”
“Pattie…” Kane ran a hand through his hair. His gray-blue eyes bleak.
“Don’t say another word.” Dawn felt frozen inside. A cold knot of tension settled in her stomach. Kane was on the verge of revealing something she knew she was afraid to hear. His look of utter misery seemed to pull all of the light out of the room. A darkness crept into their space.
“I need to Dawn, I want to tell you.” Kane said, voice hollow and low.
“It hurts you and I don’t like that at all, but go ahead.” Dawn took both his huge hands in hers and held on tightly, bracing both Kane and herself.
“I was big for sixteen. I was always bigger than most my age. A couple months after David left for the service, Pattie was especially kind to me, fed me a meal for once. I should have known something was up. She drugged my food. The next thing I knew, I was tied to her bed, naked with a …Fuck.” Kane groaned, shaking his head. Lose strands of hair sticking to his damp face. He couldn’t finish.
“Kane?” Dawn moved her hands to his rapidly rising and falling chest. She wanted him to know she was there with him, she felt him. The racing beat of his heart traveling though her palm and into her body.
“There was a man sitting next to me on the bed. Big ass biker dude. I’ll never forget that bastard. Long greasy blonde hair falling around a pot marked face of fucked up evil. Pattie sold me to the sick shit. “He growled out, in pain and fury.
Dawn grabbed his face forcing him to look at her and not the face in his mind. She knew all too well how the face of your enemy could overpower you. His whole body vibrated, he was losing himself in the memory of that long ago night.
“He took off his clothes. I tried to break free but they had me bound too tightly. He didn’t rape me, thank the good lord, but he put his mouth on me while he jerked off. I was a teenager and this was my first introduction to sex. Some jacked up pedophile getting off. He liked that I still had the look of a kid with the body of a man.”
Kane stopped talking, taking in two deep breaths. Beads of perspiration gleamed across his face. Dawn felt her heart break right down the middle. Her beast was in agony, still suffering from the abuse he received as a teen. He held this filthy act that was done to him within him, carrying its weight all alone. She wasn’t standing for that. Dawn wrapped her body around him, she couldn’t think of anything else to do.
“I remember feeling out of my body, as if I were standing there watching what was happening to me, not actually a part of it. I fought them until I must have passed out. Waking up to Pattie telling me that if I said one word of what happened to David, he would come home and kill the man. That would lan
d him in jail and out of the service. I knew it was true. David had plans for our future and that meant service, college, and opening our business. I had no doubt he would do all of that. If David knew what she was doing to me he would have thrown all of that away to avenge me. So I kept my mouth shut, but from that day forward I tried my best never to eat at home. That only lasted a short time. They would simply beat me unconscious and then tie me up. Mostly I stayed with friends or on the streets till I was old enough to go to the Army like my brother.” Kane’s voice remained low and gravelly against her cheek.
“He didn’t rape me either.” Dawn whispered to him. Somewhere inside her something said, he’s the only one who will truly understand.
Kane pulled her back and stared deep into her eyes. “Mac never raped you?”
“NO…” Dawn turned her face away to contemplate the yellow and orange fire as it crackled in the fireplace.
“He burned me, abused my body physically and did perverted things to me, but never completed the act. The man who was to buy me wanted a virgin.” Dawn paused, taking a breath. “I guess he didn’t care if I had scars as long as they weren’t on my face.” She felt the cold of that room Mac kept her in. It was always so cold. Her body shook and her heart raced. That rat bastard Blanco had taken so much from her, but Pattie had done the same to her beast. If Kane could share that hell with her, she would bleed this shit out for him.
“He would tie me to a chair naked with my legs spread wide apart, touching me, rubbing his filthy fingers all over me. He especially enjoyed beating me and if I made a whimper he would burn me with his cigarette on every sensitive area of my body.” Dawn shuddered at the memory.
Kane locked his thick arms around her middle rubbing her sides, making soft comforting sounds into her hair. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. Dawn felt his empathy, his silent support.
“He would hold Ann’s safety over my head. If I didn’t comply, he would go to pregnant Ann and do to her what he wanted to do to me. Of course I couldn’t let that happen. Every night as he played his demented games with me he would tell me how beautiful I was. If I wasn’t so exotic and beautiful this wouldn’t be happening. He kept calling me beautiful, beautiful over and over again, with every disgusting thing he did to me.” Her next word stuck in her throat. Telling this to another person was difficult but Kane made the experience bearable.
