Bucket of Fish

by Mike Hershman

“OK – can I take the bike?”

  “Sure – I’ll stop by in the morning.”

  My house was only three blocks away, just as I rounded the corner at the bottom of the alley I was startled by the bright lights of a car right in front of me.

  “Get off that damn bike, boy!”

  My heart sank -- I stared at a very red faced Officer Hollis as he leaned out the driver’s window of his Model A police car.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He yelled as he climbed out of the car. He was a really big guy with crooked teeth, a dirty khaki police uniform with a loosened tie, a big old gun and a gigantic black flashlight. I was shaking and staring at the flashlight –and the gun. He reached back in the car and pulled out a notepad.

  “There’s a curfew in Hamilton City. If I wasn’t busy right now I’d haul your skinny butt out to Skipjack Point and let you walk back in to town.”

  I had visions of walking stark naked in the middle of Skipjack Road trying to follow the white line.

  “What’s that smell – damn boy – did I make you pee your pants?” He laughed as he pointed his yard long flashlight at my crotch. Then shined it in my face.

  “Yes sir,” I said blinking hard—like I was staring right into the sun, “I just overslept at my—my--- fr ---friend’s house and my mom is going to kill me – I know about the cur ---curfew and I al –wa -ways obey it.” I lied.

  “Peed your pants – man I haven’t made anybody do that for a while – what’s your name kid?”

  “Walter Quen --tin ---tin Jenkins.”

  He wrote my name down -- then asked for my address.

  “Walter Quen ---tin ---tin Jenkins – I better not see you and your pee—pee pants out here this late again – get your sorry ass home.”

  I crawled into the bedroom window, threw my pants on the floor and shook under the covers. It was probably 80 degrees in that room but I couldn’t stop shaking.

  Chapter 15

  The next day, after fishing, we sat on a bench at the end of the pier.

  “You gave Officer Hollis your name?” GB asked, as he threw a dried up sand-crab over the pier railing.

  “Yeah.”

  “Why didn’t you give him somebody’s else’s name -- like Billy Condon?”

  “Don’t be stupid – he knows who Billy Condon is – that guy’s always in trouble.

  “Well if they have the bucket --- you’re dead.”

  “Look GB, you gotta stop talking like that—my name is only scratched on the bottom, you can barely see it.” I said, trying to remember exactly how big that WJ was. I kept trying to convince myself that it was real real tiny. He was starting to make me mad, talking about me dying every five minutes.

  “Ok Wally – I’m sorry.”

  That did it.

  “I mean Walt!” He screamed as I started to stand up, “ look Walt we got to figure out our next plan.”

  “My next plan is to just hide in my damn room until school starts and find myself another best friend, I don’t need to be hanging around somebody who thinks he’s Charlie Chan or Dick Tracy. One dead guy on Hamilton Island is enough for me.”

  “Wait – Wait,” he said as I started to head for my house, “ I think we should try to find out more about the skinny guy who was wearing those shoes.”

  “Whataya mean.”

  “Well those are really nice and he’s going to want to keep them nice. Maybe I could borrow my dad’s shoe-shine kit and set up a shoe shine stand near the barber shop.”

  “That’ll make Jimmy mad –he’s the shoeshine boy in town.”

  “He’s working out at the steamship terminal. I’ll only do one day – he won’t even know. We’ll just keep the box handy and if we see the guy somewhere I’ll run home and get it. Then ask him if he wants a shine.”

  “Then what?”

  “We’ll think of some questions to ask him.”

  “Like --- ‘What’s the name of the dead man you got these from?’ Or ‘How’s the bootlegging business?’------You’re sure trying awful hard to get us both killed –not

  just me.”

  “Maybe we should write down some questions that a shoeshine boy would normally ask a guy?”

  “Like ---‘Do you want me to spit shine the toes?’

  “No – Like --- ‘I haven’t seen you before mister, these are sure nice shoes, do you want me to do them every week? - I could meet you at your place – stuff like that.”

  “GB --- we are both going to die.”

  Chapter 16

  So every day after we went fishing, and before we folded the newspapers, GB and I would sort of hang around town. We’d be careful to stay away from Officer Hollis, but it was hard, he was always sneaking around. He almost caught us one time, but a good-looking lady walked by and he paid more attention to her than to us. It took us about three days before we finally saw the skinny guy with the shoes. He was on Oceanfront Walk near the Samoa Bar. We watched him walk in then I walked by the front and glanced quickly through the crack in the middle of the leather swinging doors. He sat on a bar stool arguing with Mr. Trenton. The skinny guy had a big beer mug in front of him.

  “Quick – run up and get the shoeshine kit – I’ll wait here and watch if he leaves.”

  “OK.” GB said as he took off up the street. I could see him running fast in that goofy way he always ran with his feet kicking out to the side. I could probably walk faster than he ran.

  When he got back, he set up his little shoeshine box with a handmade sign the said “Shoe Shine –5 cents,” right next to the swinging door. He was just waiting there when a real fat guy walking by came over for a shine.

  I was only about 50 feet away and watched as GB quickly glanced over to me with a stupid looking grin, and started shining the guy’s shoes. He worked like a mad man trying to finish before the other guy came out of the bar. The fat guy just looked at him and laughed.

  “Slow down son – you’re going to have a heart attack.”

  “Don’t worry mister – I’ll have these thoes done in no time,” GB said, as he rubbed the man’s shoes with and old t-shirt of his dads. His hands were moving like a drummer’s.

  “Thanks kid –here’s your tip,” as he handed GB an extra two cents.

  GB was holding up the pennies and grinning his toothless grin at me – with his red hair sticking up in the air when the man walked out of the bar.

  “Hey Mister!” He yelled, “thoeshine 5 cents –really quick.”

  “No thanks kid.”

  “No extra for spit thine!”

  “Okay – but make it quick.”

  GB worked at the same speed as before, but this time he sure sweated more.

  “Mister --- you new in town? I’ve never seen you before.”

  “Well I’ve seen you.”

  “You have --- wh---where?”

  “The other day, Officer Hollis chased you and you’re pal from that park bench.”

  “Oh yeah, GB grinned, I re-remember.”

  “How long you had that stutter.”

  “Na na-- ot long.”

  “Well I’m staying at the Do Drop Inn for another week, name’s Curly D, I’ll need another shine before I leave --- stop by --- here’s a dime.”

  When GB finally came over he was all excited --made 17 cents just like that. I told him to forget it – Jimmy was much bigger --- he’d kill him.

  Chapter 17

  Those last few weeks of summer weren’t just all about our detective work. GB had to keep up his paper route. Part of his job was to go around and collect money from his subscribers. The paperboy only made money if he was able to collect from everybody and ‘cause of the depression and everything, it was hard. Sometimes he’d just take his part in food. I was with him one day on his collections. We stopped at the Wales’ house.

  “Here’s most of it George Bailey – can I give you an apple for the rest.

  “You bet Mrs. Wales – have you talked to Max lately.”

  “N
o, he’s up in Northern California patrolling the Klamath River.”

  Her brother-in-law, Max Wales, was with the Fish and Game -- he’d only started there about a year or so earlier. Max was around 30 or so. When GB and me were about 7 he was over for a week and taught us how to catch fish with sandcrabs.

  Some other folks didn’t have the money yet and GB was worried – it didn’t look like he was going to make much money for all that folding and throwing.

  “I should have been a shoeshine boy like Jimmy.” He said.

  “Well, at least you’ve got one customer –Curly D.”

  “Yeah, I wonder what the “D” stands for – You don’t suppose it could be----“

  “Don’t be stupid –he died last month.”

  “Maybe he had a brother named Curly.”

  We both looked at each other and then in the direction of the Post Office. We ran as quick as we could. In the lobby, up on the wall, was a big mural that had just been painted last year showing different scenes of Hamilton Island -- guys with Popeye muscles holding big tuna, women in bathing suits on the beach with striped umbrellas and kids making sandcastles and some bright orange Garibaldi fish swimming above the wanted posters. John Herbert Dillinger’s poster was still there with a big “Cancelled” stamped over it.

  “Wow –$15,000 reward – to bad he never came over here – we coulda caught him.” GB said.

  “Oh my god – you’re nuts.” I said.

  “Let’s see if there are rewards for any of these other guys.” GB said.

  “Let’s just stick with Curly D for now – it says here that Dillinger was only 5-8.”

  “That’s not too short.”

  “I know, but I don’t think he had a brother six feet tall – sides his hair don’t look to curly to me.”

  None of the other folks looked at all like Curly D and we started to leave.

  “I got an idea.” GB said.

  “What now,” I rolled my eye up and looked right in the eye of a Garibaldi who looked like he was thinking the same thing as me.

  “I’m goin go buy myself a stamp and mail a letter to Max Wales, I’ll tell him everything we know and see if he can help us.”

  “What can he do, you nitwit,” I said, “he investigates dead fish –not dead people.”

  “Well he does carry a badge and a gun you know.”

  GB went up to the counter, came back and showed me his stamp. It was a picture of some guy name Whistler’s mom sitting on a chair. She didn’t look too happy. The stamp cost 3 cents. Whistler’s mom looked just like my mom did when they raised that price from 2 cents two years ago.

  “You can help write the letter to Max.”

  “I will --- but I ain’t signing it.”

  Chapter 18

  It was Saturday, and really hot, we sat on the beach down by the water. I got up and ran into the water, as soon as I got there, GB ran up behind me.

  “Wait up—I’ll race you out to the float – you gotta give me a head start.”

  I always did --I was a much faster swimmer. The float was out about thirty yards -- there were two girls and a guy sitting on it.

  “OK, you go first—I’ll count to four before I go.” I said.

  “You gotta count to six.”

  “Five.”

  “OK – but count slow.”

  GB took off and started swimming as hard as he could. I counted slowly. He was a horrible swimmer. He kept his head up and thrashed real hard -- it looked sorta like a dog that got thrown into the water, only with more splashing. I ran in and started swimming, pulled close to him pretty quick and could hear him splashing even harder as he turned and saw me gaining. As we neared the float I just backed off a little and let him win. It was the first time that summer.

  “I won,” he said, “you didn’t try hard enough Walt.”

  “Like hell –I didn’t – you’re just getting faster – I want six next time.”

  “No --- let’s keep it at five.”

  When we got to the top of the platform the guy had left, but the two girls were still there.

  “Hi Walt –hi George Bailey,” said Sally.

  “Hi Sally, hi Tharon – we raced out and I won.”

  Sally and Sharon were in our class but Sally looked like she was about three years older. She had a figure like a movie star while Sharon had a figure about like GB. She was the only person in our class, boy or girl, who was actually shorter than he was. GB liked Sharon, and Sally sure looked good in her bathing suit. We lay down on our stomachs next to them on the warm float. Sally looked up and smiled at me. She took off her bathing cap and shook her hair.

  “What have you guys been doing all summer – we haven’t seen you down at the beach much.”

  We filled them in on our fishing and GB just couldn’t stop talking to Sharon about his paper route and everything. He didn’t mention anything about our detective work though. I saw Sharon looking at him like he just finished a Trans-Atlantic flight or something. Her eyes never blinked as he went on and on about the proper throwing of a newspaper.

  Pretty soon it was really getting hot and we all decided to race back to the beach. This time both GB and I let the girls win. It was almost lunchtime and we all decided to go up to the hamburger stand by the beach. The girls both put on blouses to cover themselves. As we walked in our bare feet, I could see some older guys who’d come over on the steamship looking at Sally. She just moved closer to me. I was real glad they didn’t whistle or anything. I liked to think they were too scared to try anything.

  We sat at a round table next to Oceanfront Walk. After the waitress took our order, GB said he thought we should all go to the movie on Monday.

  “They’ll be fewer tourists in town and “The Thin Man” is playing. It’s a murder mystery,” he said, winking at me.

  “That sounds like a good one,” Sharon said.

  “Helen saw it and told me that all the people do in the movie is drink martinis. The main character drinks more than my dad.” Sally said.

  “I bet he doesn’t drink more than mine,” GB said.

  I was sorta glad I didn’t have a Dad – boy, that Prohibition deal sure worked out great.

  Chapter 19

  We all met at the Capri on Monday night. Sally really looked great and so did Sharon. They both had on bright red lipstick that made their lips look like strawberry lollipops. GB managed to get some extra money from his mom and treated everybody at the popcorn stand. He bought four bags of popcorn and four cokes. The girls were very impressed when he took out a dollar bill. I knew he was just showing off. The cashier gave him back two quarters and a dime.

  We walked in and sat down on the side seats close to the front. We always sat there. It was the best place if you were going to sneak some of your friends in the front exit doors. We weren’t doing that tonight—I guess it was just habit that made us sit there. When the movie started I got lost pretty quick. Some guy was missing, he had a daughter, a weird son who looked a little like GB with glasses on-- some other ladies who all had real white looking hair, a lawyer and a guy and his wife who mostly drank martinis. I didn’t get it and I didn’t care. I was sneaking glances at Sally and trying to figure if I should put my arm around her. I didn’t get the guts to do it ‘til near the end. I kinda looped my arm over her head, only I didn’t get it quite high enough and brushed her bangs back a little. She didn’t get mad. I looked over at GB and Sharon. They were watching the movie like it was the most interesting thing they ever saw. Heck, he didn’t even try to put his arm around her at all. He just stared at the screen. Every once in a while they would argue who they thought the murderer was.

  “I think the lawyer had something to do with it, George Bailey,” Sharon whispered.

  “You’re wrong Sharon, it was the kid in the glasses.”

  Well, Sharon was right. GB kept looking at her like she was a genius or something. She was smaller than GB -- and smarter too.

  Chapter 20

  “Are you ou
t of you’re cotton pickin mind!” I screamed, “You told her everything?”

  “Yeah, Tharon figured out that the lawyer did it, you know. She’s really smart, maybe she can help us with case.”

  “The case --so now it’s “The Case,” -- what’re you and Sharon going to do? Start drinking martinis like that Nick and Nora in the movie --what am I supposed to be – they’re stupid white dog Astro?

  “The dog’s name is Asta.”

  “Asta – Jeez --What if she blabs it to all her friends? I might just as well go out right now out and dig two holes for us out by the Halfway House.”

  We walked down Oceanfront Walk. Sharon was meeting us at the pier after her 11:30 dentist’s appointment. GB’s dad was her dentist --heck, he was everybody’s dentist. He was the only one on the island. I looked at my watch – it was 12:00. I glanced in the window of the “Fish-On!” and almost fainted.

  “Hey GB,” I said looking straight ahead, trying not to move my lips, “don’t look, I just saw Officer Hollis, Curly D, Carl, and the a fat guy sitting in the back booth at “Fish-On!”

  “You th-thure.”

  “Course I’m sure.”

  “Did they see you?”

  “Nah.”

  “Well let’s meet Tharon and tell her. Maybe she’ll have an idea.”

  “Will Astro be there too?”

  We waited by the pier for about an hour, but Sharon never showed up.

  “Do you think those guys meet there every Tuesday for lunch?” I asked.

  “Maybe, you could ask your brother Gus, he’s a busboy there, he’d know.”

  “Oh yeah – he’d know –I just won’t tell him anything like you did, blabbermouth. It looks like Nora -- I mean Sharon, decided to stand you up. Maybe she found a new Nick.”

  “Very funny, she said her mom might take her to lunch.”

  I kept teasing GB that she was probably too busy telling everybody at the beauty parlor about her boyfriend George Bailey, the master detective, and his little dog Walti.