Mob Rules

by Louis Ferrante

  When Philip died, Alexander took control of his army and became the youngest, greatest conqueror the world has ever known.

  LESSON 44

  Seize the Bull by the Horns—and Rip Off Its Balls: The Fast and Decisive Leader

  WHEN organized crime was beginning in America, the early godfathers, vying for power, whacked each other left and right. After much bloodshed, Salvatore Maranzano emerged as king of the hill. Soon, one of his chief lieutenants, “Lucky” Luciano, decided to knock him off. But icing Maranzano proved to be a challenge since he had a full-time personal guard.

  When Luciano heard that Maranzano had tax problems and expected a visit from the IRS, Luciano hatched a plan and executed it in no time. He sent his crew of Young Turks to Maranzano’s office, posing as IRS agents. After flashing phony badges to gain entry, Luciano’s men drew weapons on Maranzano, and his audit became an autopsy.

  Luciano had seized the bull by the horns—and ripped off its balls.

  A few decades later, the American Mafia had matured, but the need to act quickly and decisively remained just as critical. Colombo mobster “Crazy Joey” Gallo killed a lot of men, and was marked for death by his own crime family. But no one could get near him. Even if someone could, Gallo was always accompanied by a tough bodyguard, “Pete the Greek” Diapoulas.

  Gallo liked the Hollywood scene and hung out with entertainers. After a night of partying with a few movie stars, including Jerry Orbach of Law & Order fame, Gallo and Pete the Greek went to a late dinner at a restaurant in Manhattan’s Little Italy.

  Gallo ate, drank, and laughed, unaware he’d been spotted by a low-level thug trying to make his bones with the Colombo family. The thug ran up the block to a Chinese take-out joint where four Colombo mobsters were eating, and told them he’d just spotted Gallo.

  In a hot second, the mobsters dropped their egg rolls, picked up their guns, and phoned their capo, who said, “Get Gallo!”

  Within minutes, they went from Moo Goo Gai Pan to Joe Gallo Dead Man.

  Like Luciano and his crew, the Colombo mobsters seized the moment, knowing an opportunity might not present itself again.

  In the cutthroat world of business, it’s necessary to act quickly and decisively, and take out the competition in the process.

  Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto of Japan orchestrated the infamous attack at Pearl Harbor that drew America into the Second World War.

  During the war, the Americans broke the Japanese naval code and discovered that Yamamoto was planning a flight over the South Pacific.

  American fighter pilots immediately requested permission to take out the Japanese admiral and were told, “Get Yamamoto!”

  With little time to plan, the Americans equipped their P-38 fighters with extra fuel tanks for the long-range flight and took to the sky.

  Right on time, they ambushed Yamamoto’s large escort squadron, zeroing in on Yamamoto’s plane. Admiral Matome Ugaki, a witness to the American pilots’ resolve, said, “They bore down mercilessly.”

  Later, a Japanese search party located Yamamoto in the jungle. He’d been thrown from his plane, still strapped into his seat and gripping his samurai sword, two bullets inside him. The hit went down without a hitch.

  The Americans acted quickly and decisively, and seized the bull by the horns, like Luciano, who took out Maranzano, and the Colombo mobsters who knocked off Gallo.

  LESSON 45

  Just Get the Job Done!: Flexibility

  MY crew and I were in the middle of a heist when the employees told us that the particular employee entrusted with the combination to the safe was on vacation. The safe was too big to carry, so I started calling around, asking if anyone could get me a safecracker right away.

  A friend connected me with Vinnie the Vault. Vinnie asked for 30 percent of the take. I thought it was steep but I had no choice; I was too far into the job to walk away. I told Vinnie where we were, and he showed up about twenty minutes later with a sledgehammer and a tool bag.

  “What the fuck is this?” I asked. Naturally, I’d expected the guy to pull on some leather gloves, put a stethoscope to the safe, and spin the dial.

  “It’s my safecracking equipment,” he replied. “I can open any safe.”

  Vinnie opened his tool bag and went to work. He drilled and banged away at the safe until sheets of metal peeled back, concrete crumbled, and steel mesh appeared. Using giant clippers, Vinnie cut the mesh, banged some more, and we were in.

  We cleaned out the safe, gave the putz his 30 percent, and left.

  Handing Vinnie his end, I felt like I’d been taken by a con man. Imagine that—robbing something from someone else and then getting annoyed that someone else is robbing some of it from me? Then I thought, Hey, he got the job done, and that’s the bottom line. How he did it really wasn’t my business.

  Humphreys gets the job done, and he gets it done smart.

  —Sam Giancana, praising gangster Murray “The Camel” Humphreys

  A lot of people expect things done a certain way and fail to realize that everyone has their own way of doing things. Let them do their thing. As long as they get the job done, mind your own business.

  Catherine de’ Medici was a Mafia princess if ever there was one.

  The men in her family have been referred to as “godfathers of the Renaissance.” Like Mob bosses, they controlled Florence through murder, bribery, and intrigue.

  For political reasons, the pope arranged a marriage between Catherine de’ Medici and Henry, Prince of France (later King Henry II). To keep the marriage binding, Catherine needed to produce an heir to the throne.

  Before the age of Viagra, Henry was having trouble pulling this off. The pope grew frustrated with the situation and said to Catherine, “A clever girl surely knows how to get pregnant somehow or other.”

  In other words, just get the job done.

  LESSON 46

  We Shot Him Twelve Times and He Lived: Most Problems Take Care of Themselves

  LUCCHESE underboss Anthony “Gaspipe” Casso, suspecting wiseguy “Fat Pete” Chiodo of going sour, ordered a hit team to take him down.

  After stalking Chiodo, the hit men ambushed him at a Staten Island gas station, while Chiodo was checking his oil. They hit Chiodo with a hail of gunfire but he survived—his layers of fat served as a bulletproof vest, absorbing the lead.

  I knew a couple of Chiodo’s would-be assassins, some of the funniest guys I’ve ever met. When joking about the hit, one of them told me, “We shot him twelve fuckin’ times an’ he lived. Before we shot him, he could barely breathe. Now, he’s got a team of nurses monitoring his health around the clock. He’s even got a dietitian; he’s never been healthier in his life. An’ he owes it all to us. Had we left him alone, he’d have dropped dead on his own.”

  Everyone involved on the hit attempt went to prison because of it.

  Contrary to what the paranoid Casso believed when he ordered the hit on Chiodo, Chiodo was no snitch—that is, until after he was shot. Once Chiodo had been betrayed by his friends, he felt no qualms about becoming an FBI informant.

  As the hit men who joked with me had realized, it’s sometimes best to leave well enough alone.

  Learn to distinguish between real problems that need attention and those that are inconsequential, many of which take care of themselves.

  LESSON 47

  Aye, You Know Who My Uncle Is?: Everyone Is Important

  IN Brooklyn and Queens, just about everyone is connected somehow. Being in The Life, you’re aware of this fact and treat everyone with respect—just in case.

  Everyone I know in the New York area has brushed up against the American Mafia at one time or another.

  —Selwyn Raab, Five Families

  John Gotti’s first highly publicized indictment after becoming boss of the Gambino family was a minor assault case that stemmed from a parking incident.

  Some legitimate guy picked a fight with Gotti and Gotti kicked his ass. Typical of your average wiseass who
starts a fight and then loses, the guy went crying to the police. Gotti got picked up for assault, and that’s when the guy found out whom he’d fucked with. The case went to trial and, after the guy got amnesia on the witness stand, Gotti was acquitted.

  The guy was lucky to walk away with his life, and learned to respect people the hard way.

  Mob informant Sammy “The Bull” Gravano was always a weasel. Yet he was able to shoot and bullshit his way to the top of the Gambino family. Certain wiseguys who knew Sammy before he was a big shot pegged him as a petty, devious sneak, but discounted him because of these frailties. And those who treated him poorly on his way to the top of the Mob ladder paid with their lives once he got there.

  When Sammy defected to the government, he came up with creative stories for why he had killed people, usually blaming his later murders on his boss, John Gotti, using the classic Nuremberg defense: “I was only following orders.”

  One such murder Sammy orchestrated was that of Gambino soldier Louis DiBono. Sammy blamed Gotti for the murder, but in truth DiBono died because he pissed Sammy off when Sammy was still a nobody.

  DiBono’s death presents a perfect example of why you must treat everyone with respect, even when they’re not important. When DiBono disrespected the young Gravano, he never could have imagined the twist of fate that would one day catapult Sammy into power.

  Here’s how it happened:

  Early in his career, Sammy latched on to Brooklyn wiseguy Frankie DeCicco. When Queens wiseguy John Gotti wanted to kill his don, Paul Castellano, he needed to build a Brooklyn alliance to keep the family intact. Gotti, the consummate politician, confided his plan to DeCicco, who signed on.

  Gotti and DeCicco planned to share power if the coup succeeded, which it did.

  After Castellano was dead, DeCicco became Gotti’s underboss, and Sammy, being close with DeCicco, moved up a notch.

  The wheel of fate was not done spinning.

  When rival mobsters tried to kill Gotti with a car bomb, they missed their target and blew up DeCicco instead.

  Now that DeCicco was dead, Gotti had to appoint a new underboss from Brooklyn since the Brooklynites had been promised a role in the new regime. Due to Sammy’s proximity to DeCicco, Gotti chose Sammy to fill DeCicco’s blown-up shoes.

  Now tell me, could DiBono have imagined all this when he disrespected Sammy “The Nobody” years before? Well, he has eternity to think about it.

  Once in power, Sammy “The Grudge” conjured up a reason to have DiBono whacked. DiBono’s 350-pound body was found stuffed in a car trunk in the basement of the World Trade Center. (As further testament to Mob business savvy, DiBono had secured a legit multimillion-dollar contract to fireproof the steel supports of the Twin Towers, and that’s where his killers ambushed him.)

  Today, DiBono would tell you to think twice about those nitwits in your office who you’re just certain will never amount to anything. You never know where someone will be tomorrow.

  Treat everyone with respect.

  In February of 1930, Chicago mobster “Machine Gun” Jack McGurn was pulled over by police for speeding. Sitting beside McGurn was a young man.

  The cop, who knew McGurn, asked him, “Who’s this new punk?”

  McGurn answered, “He’s no punk. He’s a solid fella. This boy is going places.”

  “What’s his name?” asked the cop.

  “Tony Accardo.”

  Tony “Joe Batters” Accardo would succeed Al Capone and rule Chicago for nearly five decades. He ordered the deaths of more than two hundred people, controlled Las Vegas, the Teamsters’ billion-dollar fund, and Chicago’s police force and politicians. Some punk.

  Around the same time McGurn and Accardo were speeding around Chicago, Michael Collins and Eamon de Valera were vying for control of an Irish revolutionary movement that amounted to little more than a mob: stealing, violence, and gunning down informants.

  With only room for one at the top, the cunning de Valera set up Collins to look like a traitor, then had him whacked. In typical Mob fashion, Collins bought it with a dum-dum bullet to the head.

  De Valera was now undisputed boss of the Irish mob, or revolutionary movement.

  About six years before de Valera iced Collins, he and some of his gang were convicted of treason and scheduled to be executed by the British government. For political reasons, the Brits decided to commute some of the sentences. The executioner, Sir John Maxwell, received news from Britain to halt the executions.

  “Who’s next on the list?” asked Maxwell.

  “Connolly,” answered an underling.

  “We can’t let him off,” said Maxwell. “Who’s next?”

  “De Valera.”

  “Is he someone important?” asked Maxwell.

  “No, just a schoolteacher.”

  “All right,” said Maxwell. “Go ahead with Connolly and stop with this fellow.”

  Like Tony “Joe Batters” Accardo, who went on to control Chicago for nearly fifty years after being called a “punk,” Eamon de Valera controlled Ireland for nearly fifty years after being referred to as “just a schoolteacher.”

  You never know who you’re talking to. Treat everyone with respect.

  LESSON 48

  What Am I, a Gavone?: What People Really Think About You

  SURE, plenty of mobsters are insecure or vain, constantly worrying about their image. But I knew one wiseguy who paid close attention to his image, and was neither vain nor insecure. Just smart.

  I attended a few meetings on the street with a wiseguy I’ll call Philly Blake. We once left a meeting and Philly asked, “What do they think about me?”

  “Who gives a shit?” I replied.

  The next time we left a meeting, Philly asked me that same question and I rolled my eyes. Philly shook his head.

  “You don’t understand,” he said. “It’s important to see yourself the way others do.” When Philly put it in those terms, it didn’t seem like such a ridiculous question after all.

  The eye sees not itself.

  —Brutus, in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar

  Ever wonder how you appear through the eyes of other people? It’s worth pondering every now and then. Who am I? How do I conduct myself? Am I gruff or polite? Cheap or charitable? Can I be counted on? Am I the guy you’d want your daughter to marry? What defines me? And what do others say and think about me when my name comes up?

  The unexamined life is not worth living.

  —Socrates

  The first words inscribed on the wall inside the ancient Temple of Apollo at Delphi were “Know thyself.” A simple, brilliant phrase. How many of us really know ourselves?

  The ancient Greeks also said, “Character is destiny.” If so, can we use Philly Blake’s advice to analyze ourselves and change our character, and in turn, alter our destiny?

  LESSON 49

  Play the Fence and You’re Sure to Fall Off

  THE Mafia’s first major war in America was the Castellammarese War, which lasted from 1929 to 1931. This bloody conflict, fought for control of the American Mafia, was waged between the forces of Joe “The Boss” Masseria and Salvatore Maranzano.

  As many as a hundred mobsters may have been killed during the war. Internal tension led to backstabbing, and splinter factions on both sides emerged.

  One wiseguy stood out among the many who changed sides as tides turned: Anthony “Tony Bender” Strollo. Tony Bender was involved in the rackets from an early age. When the Castellammarese War broke out, he aligned with Masseria. When Masseria’s ship looked in danger of sinking, Tony Bender dove overboard into Maranzano’s ship. And when Maranzano’s crew mutinied, he threw in with the mutineers. The Fletcher Christian of this gang of mutineers was Charles “Lucky” Luciano.

  [Tony Bender] was pretty good at workin’ both sides of the street an’ gettin’ away with it.

  —Lucky Luciano

  The war ended and Bender was employed for a while under Luciano.

  When Lucia
no went to prison, Bender picked up with a new boss, Vito Genovese.

  When Genovese fled to Italy to avoid a murder rap, Bender latched on to another boss, Frank Costello, who had never particularly cared for Genovese.

  When Genovese had Costello shot, Bender went back with Genovese.

  When Genovese was sent to prison, Bender pledged his loyalty to the boss of yet another family, Carlo Gambino.

  By then, the Mob was finally fed up with Tony Bender’s bullshit. He went missing and his body has never been found.

  When you play the fence, you’re sure to fall off. Had Bender studied history, he might have avoided his dreadful end.

  When war broke out between Sparta and Athens, the young Alcibiades fought for Athens. Peace was made but war between these two states broke out again.

  This time, Alcibiades jumped ship and went over to Sparta.

  In time, Alcibiades fled Sparta and made his way over to Persia, a third power that hated the other two.

  With a lot of Persian money, and maybe a few rugs, Alcibiades returned to Athens and conned the Athenians into accepting him back—just as Genovese was conned into accepting Bender back after he’d aligned himself with Costello, Genovese’s enemy.

  Yet again, Alcibiades abandoned his latest allegiance, went back to Persia, and became a counselor to the Persian king. At last, in Persia, Alcibiades bit the dust, just like Tony Bender, who became a counselor to Don Carlo Gambino as his final move before getting whacked.

  Backstabbing. Shifting alliances. A man’s luck runs out. This exact drama has played out throughout human history. Don’t be the next idiot to accept the lead role.

  Play the fence and you’re sure to fall off.

  LESSON 50

  Italians Talk with Their Hands: Body Language