by Katie Dowe
“How differently?” she asked as she leaned against the sink. He hated himself. He hated how he had opened himself to her. It was too early for all this.
She shook her head and looked into his eyes. She had never seen it before but at that moment, she could see some kind of darkness in them. She was looking at him as he took a step towards her.
“Are you scared of me?” he asked. She shook her head and then shrugged. He could tell that she was confused.
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Emily, what do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean I don’t know whether I am scared of you or what you want to do to me,” she said in a low voice. He stepped forward and looked into her eyes.
“Emily, baby…I would never do anything you didn’t want me to. It will all be safe and you will call all the shots.” He looked at her and took her hands in his. “We’ll have a safe word.”
She forced out a laugh.
“Safe word? Who are you, Christian Grey? Am I just supposed to play into your fifty shades of fucked up fantasy?”
He exhaled loudly. Somehow that book made everything easier when it came to explaining what BDSM was about. He looked at her and shook his head.
“You said you want to know what I am. Who I am,” he started. “This is part of the package, Emily. I would never hurt you and that is a promise,” he added. He slipped an arm around her. He was relieved when she didn’t pull away. He was all hers, even if she didn’t know it yet. She looked at him and shook her head. “And everything we do is going to be exactly what you want,” he said in a low whisper.
Emily was not sure what had happened to her because normally she would have said no to this proposition. She had read EL James’ books, all three of them. And she had watched the movie. She had a pretty good idea of what he had in mind and for some reason, she wanted to agree with him. He held her chin and lowered his head to meet her lips in one long kiss.
“I need a shower,” she said when he pulled away. She looked up at him and shivered a little when she held back from running her hand down his rock hard abs.
“I need one too,” he said as he began undoing the buttons on the shirt she had on. “Maybe you can scratch my back and I can scratch yours.” He undid the last button and pushed the shirt off her shoulders. His cock was already hard, and the saddest thing was that sex was off the table, at least for that particular morning.
She was still looking into his eyes when she pushed off his pants. She gasped silently when she saw how hard he was. She wanted him as much as she knew he wanted her. But she was scared that being with him that morning would have been the end of life as she knew it.
Alex stepped out of his pants and took her hand before leading her out of the kitchen. He walked straight to the bedroom and then into the bathroom where he got the shower started. He then held his hand out to her. “I promise, all we will do is just shower,” he said as he looked at her. She nodded and stepped into the bathroom. He was standing right under the running water and he did the one thing she wished he wouldn’t. He pulled her to him and held her as they stood under the hot running water. She put her own arms over his and stood there for a second before she turned around to face him. He looked down at her as she brought her hand up and held his neck giving him the sign that he should have brought his own head down to kiss her…and he did. She closed her eyes and angled her head to get more of her tongue in his mouth. She was moaning and panting as they stood there kissing, their wet bodies crushing against each other. They were still standing there when Emily heard the familiar sound of heels against marble.
“Mr. Brewer, I am sorry I’m late.” She heard a woman’s voice in a foreign voice. Emily pulled away from Alex and looked at him.
“Who the hell is that?” she asked surprised.
“Elena, my housekeeper. I forgot she was supposed to be coming today,” he said smiling uncomfortably.
“We better…” Emily started before he shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get her to leave.”
“But won’t she suspect that something is happening?”
“Well, something is happening,” he said matter of factly. He looked at her and smiled. “I am an adult baby, and Elena is most definitely not my mother. Actually, if she was she would undoubtedly be proud of the fact that I am getting laid.” Emily pursed her lips together to suppress the smile that was threatening to come out. “She can always come back tomorrow. You are still here and we just got started on something…” he shrugged.
She smiled as he walked out of the shower.
“Hurry back,” she said in a soft voice. She waited in the bathroom and leaned against the cold tile wall wondering why she had even chosen to stay. She smiled when she imagined the conversation between Elena and Alex and shook her head. It was almost like she was back in college again. For all she cared he could have very well left a sock on the door handle…either way, whatever Alex was doing at that moment was very much like college.
*****
Emily would have wanted to stay longer at Alex’s place. Everything was so perfect at his place. The sheets were softer, the light was better and even the air seemed cleaner. But she was afraid that if she stayed, she would see the other side of Alex and it would most probably if not definitely make her run for her life.
It was almost five in the evening when she got back to her place. She smiled when she remembered how Elena had almost busted them. If Cadence knew about that little fact she would have made light of the fact that her boss was living her life like a telenovela.
She walked to the living room and sat down. She switched on her laptop and launched a browser.
“I am probably going to hate myself for this, but here goes,” She thought as she searched Fifty Shades of Grey. “Movie…books…ha! There it is,” she thought as she noticed a line that interested her on the Wikipedia page. “…notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline dominance/submission and sadomasochism (BDSM).” She looked up and shrugged. “There is a difference between BDSM and the whole submission thing?” she wondered as she opened both pages on different tabs.
As she read on the two topics, she couldn’t help but feel immensely disturbed. Certain words and phrases were making her increasingly uncomfortable. Human toilet, breath control, public humiliation, cock and ball torture…all this was too much for her. She could not picture herself doing this to Alex or worse, Alex doing it to her. She got her phone from her bag and called Alex.
“Missed me already?” he asked when he picked up.
“Actually, I have been doing a little research. On BDSM and related stuff and everything is…crap.”
“Maybe you were looking at the wrong sites?”
“No…the Wikipedia page is very thorough.” She heard Alex laugh.
“Why don’t you just let me show you what I have in mind for the two of us, Emily? It will take all the guessing out of the equation and make you feel a little at ease,” he said.
“No. I like…no love sex. I don’t want to ruin it with any kind of weird…” she never finished her sentence.
“Emily, I’ll give you the grand tour but only when you’re ready,” he said in a soft voice.
She looked at her computer screen and shrugged.
“Fine,” she said before she hung up. She looked at the computer screen again and sighed. “What the hell did I just get myself into?” she wondered as she leaned back against the couch.
Chapter 6
When she woke up on Friday morning, Emily had a long battle with her other self trying to figure out whether she should go to work. It was one of those days that she just wanted to stay home and maybe curl up in front of the TV. She had even picked out what to wear that morning down right to the underwear but as soon as she was in the shower, she just didn’t feel like going out that day. She just stood there under the running water and wondered what she was supposed to do.
It took a long minute but she finally decided what she wanted to do by the time she stepped out of the bathroom. She put on a bathrobe and then walked over to the bed where she sat on the edge. She took her phone and called her boss. She had not yet properly crafted the words she was supposed to say but she had a perfect idea of what she wanted her day to be.
“Emily, good morning,” Chase said when he picked up.
”Hi Chase. I just wanted to let you know that I will be working from home today,” she said.
“Oh, you are still not feeling well?”
“Why the hell not?” she wondered. “Actually, yes.”
“Oh, so this would probably be a bad time to tell you that SimTECH called and they are ready to have a sit down,” he said.
“That’s great. You’ve been after them for the better half of the year now. Why would that be bad news?”
“Well, Lithium employees have been talking and throwing your name around. So let’s just say that they are willing to come on board but only if you are part of the deal,” Chase explained. Emily took a long deep breath. “And I have to say that I just got the call and I told Harry, the CEO that you didn’t come in yesterday so I was not very sure about today. I hope that I bought you enough time with that.”
Buying her time, maybe he had done more than that.
“Considering they insist on having me on board do you think that maybe they would be up for a video conference?” she asked.
“That sounds great. I’ll make the call.”
“No, I’m in my bathrobe right now. Give me a few minutes and then I’ll make the call,” she said. She heard him exhale into the phone. “Granted, I might still be in a robe but I will have at least have my hair done and some makeup on.”
“Alright. I’ll get everything ready from their side.”
When Chase hung up she took off her robe and oiled up before she put on a pair of tights and a long floral t-shirt. She then sat in front of her dressing mirror and put on some light makeup. She looked at her reflection and shook her head. She didn’t like how she looked. She was not official enough for the kind of image she wanted to portray to the new clients her boss had been hounding over for the last six months. She took off her t-shirt and walked to her closet where she pulled out a pink button down chiffon blouse. She didn’t have to put on a skirt since no one would be looking at her feet anyway. All the focus would be focused on her face and bust in general. She then held her curls back using bobby pins on the sides before she walked to her dining table. She switched on her laptop and called Chase.
“Damn, your game face is…whoa,” he said. She smiled at him.
“I’ll take that as a complement Chase. So, is everything ready?”
“Yes, just tell me when you want me to conference them in,” Chase said.
“Do it now,” she said as she leaned back in her chair. She watched her screen and flashed a smile when she saw the new dialogue box open. She had never really met anyone from SimTECH but she had browsed enough sites to tell that the young man seated in the middle was Simon Barnes, the CEO. “Mr. Barnes, thank you for making the time,” she said.
“Please, we are not so formal here. Simon is just fine,” Simon said.
Emily nodded.
“Good to know. You of course know Chase Matthews and I’m…”
“…Emily Carter. I know exactly who you are,” Simon cut her short.
“I see my reputation precedes me,” Emily said with a smile.
“And that is a very god thing. I appreciate you talking to me on your day off,” he said and Emily nodded. “Before we go on I’d like to introduce Miranda my CFO and Emilio Dale, my senior VP,” Simon said as he gestured at the two people seated on either side of him.
Emily could not help but notice how young they all were. Perhaps this was the new future. Billion dollar companies being run by people who looked young enough to still be in high school.
“So, I have been watching you closely Emily and I must say that you have the Midas touch. You are like the Marty freaking Kahn in that place,” Simon went on. Emily frowned. “Marty Kahn? Kahn and Associates?” he asked as if she was supposed to know what he was talking about. “The TV show, House Of Lies?”
“I’m afraid I don’t watch as much TV as I should,” she shook her head.
“You should,” he said.
“So, Simon I just wanted to know what you had in mind because I know that you plan to go public in a few months.” Simon nodded when Chase began talking. “We wanted to know what future you had in mind because of course once you are public things are going to change a lot but it will be a good kind of change,” Chase went on.
“Really what we wanted to know is what you bring to the table. I mean why should Simon choose to go with you rather than choose your competitor for example?” Miranda asked.
Emily raised an eyebrow and shook her head.
“I’m sorry. I was made to understand that this was a strategy meeting rather than a pitch.”
“Yes but…” Miranda started but Emily shook her head.
“I know that as a stock management specialist I do not really qualify to talk about all this but I have to point out that even though I just started out in stock management, I have done my best to see what the world out there holds for me and if you chose the help to help you take stock of what you need before your IPO Simon, then you must have had a very good reason. I mean, you could have gone with someone who has an MBA in marketing but for some reason, you chose to go with me,” she finished.
Simon looked at her and smiled.
“I like her Chase, even more than I did when we first started talking. I’ll give you a call,” Simon said. Emily wanted to jump up and down. “It’s been a pleasure, Emily,” he said and she smiled at him before he hung up.
“That was…intense,” Chase said. Emily laughed and then shrugged. “You know for someone who was just supposed to be a stock manager, you are so much more like a suit. And a legal suit at that.
“SimTECH is new territory for me. I have to go in strong or I will totally come crashing down.”
“Wait Lithium and SimTECH are almost similar,” Chase said frowning.
“Yes but SimTECH are more about software and phone apps. I like managing stock I can actually see but I guess this is the future now, huh?” she asked.
Chase nodded.
“Alright then, I’ll leave you to your…wait, what was it again?”
“Sick leave,” she smiled.
“Yeah that,” he said before she hung up.
She walked back to the bedroom and took off the blouse before she put on the t-shirt she had on earlier. She walked to the kitchen and looked in her fridge. A couple of cups of yogurt, leftover takeout food and a half eaten pizza. She pulled the pizza box out and put the two slices on a plate.
“That was all?” she wondered as she popped the plate into the microwave. “With all the space that box was taking I was sure I would not be getting pizza anytime this week or weekend,” she thought as she waited. She walked to the living room, switched on the TV and began flipping through the channels looking for something worthwhile to rent. House of Lies was still ringing at the back of her mind.
She walked back to the kitchen when she heard the familiar beep of the microwave. She grabbed a soda from the fridge and then made her way back to the living room. She had just sat down when her phone rang. She looked at it and smiled.
“Cadence?” she asked when she picked up.
“Are you still doing the nasty with Alex Brewer?”
“Not that it should be any of your business but if you must know I am at my place eating leftover pizza and watching TV,” Emily said.
“Well, I just assumed when Chase told me that you we taking another personal day…”
Emily didn’t let her finish.
“You know what, now that you’ve called maybe you can do me a favor,” she started.
“Okay.” Cadence said.
“I need you to pick me
up some groceries, the usual, bread, milk, apples. And a DVD of that show House of Lies,” she said.
“What season?” Cadence asked.
“Huh?”
“House of Lies. The fourth season just concluded,” Cadence explained.
“Fine get me the first three.”
“What else?” Cadence asked.
“You could pick up something greasy. Some wings maybe?”
“It’s eight in the morning. Where the hell am I supposed to get wings?” Cadence asked.
“I don’t know. You could go to one of those drive thru’s. They operate twenty four seven right?” she said and heard a sigh over the phone.
“Wings it is,” Cadence said before she hang up. Emily looked at her pizza and then placed it on the table.
“Who needs old pizza when you can have fresh wings?” she thought as she opened the can in her hand. She went on flipping through channels but even then, she couldn’t really get her mind off what she was really thinking about, Alex. Alex and his kinky wild side. She took a long sip of her soda and then got up and got her laptop before she walked back to the couch. “I am probably going to hate myself for this,” she thought as she launched a browser.
‘BDSM Experiences,’ she thought as she typed in the browser. She was still not sure when she clicked on one of the websites.
I had always been afraid of what bondage would mean because after all, not everyone has the Anastasia Steele experience. I mean let’s face it, we don’t all happen to bump into a billionaire hottie who wants nothing but to tie me up and have his way with me. So I can be allowed some leeway when it comes to that. So anyway, last weekend was my very first experience with BDSM. It was actually more of a B&D and not so much S&M. My husband and I have been looking to try new things for the longest time so when he suggested some light bedroom play I had to try it. I was terrified at first because I dind't know what to expect but when he came into the room and cuffed me to the bed, I could not help but feel aroused.
