R.I.P.

by Charity B.

  The only way to know if Bridgett posted it is if I break down and create the social media accounts I’ve been avoiding for years. People treat me like shit at school, I didn’t need them doing it online too.

  Reaching over to my night table, I pick up my phone. There are definitely sites I hear more about, so I start there. Using my own name would be stupid, so I enter the bogus information that’s required to sign up. My breathing steadies after two of the sites don’t show anything of us on Bridgett’s pages. Once I find her third account however, my heart stops.

  The video of us in our most intimate moment already has over one hundred and fifty views. Sweat beads on my burning skin. I cover my mouth, attempting to stifle the bile turning in my gut. So many people watching my darkest secret makes me want to scream. A ton of vile comments ranging from ‘I knew it!’ to ‘That’s fucking gross’ continue to pour in every few minutes.

  I’m going to throw up.

  My trash can is just close enough to release the sick that spews from my throat. This can’t be happening.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!

  What about school on Monday? That’s if, somehow, Uncle Bennett doesn’t hear about this before then. My fingers clench the phone as I fall back onto my bed. Bridgett had been filming for a while before she made herself known.

  Once the initial blow of knowing that this is online for all the world to see wears off, I can’t stop watching myself giving in to my deepest desires. Replaying the video, my former self moans in pleasure while I feel Adriel’s mouth for the first time. I’ll never forget how intense that was. The horror of my situation morphs into lust, heating my flesh. My night pants lift with the hardening of my cock. Adriel’s little, white, lacy socks and black buckle shoes in the air is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. Pushing down my waist band, I release my erection. Seeing us together is more arousing than I could have ever imagined. It’s pointless to try to deny it. Tonight made me realize that she’s it for me. There’s never been anyone else, and I don’t think there ever could be.

  I know Adriel’s got issues, but really, how could she not? We’ve been murdering people with our parents’ coercion and blessing for the past four years. The things she’s seen… I can’t really blame her for her darkness. If I’m being honest, her darkness is one of the things I find beautiful about her. She’s humanity at its core. Lust and violence. Yet at the same time, her imagination keeps her innocent. She sees things through a different lens than the rest of us. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to go to her room to finish what we started earlier. I just can’t push our luck with our uncle.

  In the video, her face contorts in pleasure. As her back arches with her orgasm, I’m pushed over. My come hits the screen, dripping down my fingers as I moan.

  “Fuck.”

  After I clean myself, I pull up the search bar for the laws on incest in Iowa. I need some idea of what I’m up against.

  My stomach leaps into my chest when I read the words on the screen: Class D felony. Blood pumps through my veins so hard it whooshes in my ears. We could both get up to five years, and that’s if the judge sees her as mentally sound. If not, I’m looking at a whole other set of charges.

  Oh, God… Tossing my phone on my bed, I push off the sheets. What was I thinking? At a party? My fingers nearly rip the hair out of my scalp as I pace the floor, trying to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve wearing a jumpsuit behind steel bars. The more I contemplate, the more anxious I get. It feels like I’m about to have a heart attack. Frantically, I search for my knife, slicing it quickly across my wrist. In my haste, I cut deeper than intended, making blood pour from the wound down my arm.

  Shit. In a frenzy, I hurry to the bathroom, cleaning the cut before wrapping it in gauze and lowering my sleeve. I can’t go to prison, and imagining Adriel locked away sets my cells on fire. The finality of what we have to do is a cinder block to the chest.

  Run.

  We have to leave. I have no idea where, I just know we can’t be here when this blows up. With the video being online, the police might already know.

  Running down the hall as quietly as possible, I push open Adriel’s door to find her asleep in bed. She’s in a baby doll nightgown that feels smooth beneath my fingers.

  “Adriel! Wake up,” I whisper. She rolls over, mumbling and rubbing her eyes. “Come on, we have to go. I’ll explain in the car.”

  “What?” She sits up in bed with a yawn.

  “Get as much as you can in your backpack. We aren’t coming back, so take what’s important.”

  Her voice shakes when she looks to her shelves. “But…what about my creations?”

  There isn’t time to argue. We can’t be hauling her toys around. On the other hand, I know I’m taking her by surprise. “If we don’t leave soon, things are going to get very bad. Do you trust me?”

  Nodding, she pushes off her blankets to pick up her pastel backpack. She dumps its contents on the floor as I head back to my room. Once my own bag is stuffed half full of clothes, I return to the bathroom where I pack our toothbrushes, some toilet paper, and soap.

  Adriel meets me in the hall with her bulging Rilakkuma backpack. “I’m ready. Where are we going?”

  Her hand clutches mine as I lead her downstairs. “I have no idea, somewhere away from here.”

  On our way through the hall, she stops at our family portrait, taking it off the wall. She removes it from the frame, folding it and slipping it into the front pocket of her backpack.

  “You get some water and snacks while I grab Uncle Bennett’s wallet and keys,” I tell her.

  Luckily, he has the habit of leaving them both on the counter, and tonight isn’t any different. She’s still rummaging through the cabinets behind me when my hand wraps around the metal keys. His black leather wallet feels thick between my fingers. I hope it’s from money.

  “What’s going on?” Uncle Bennett’s yawning voice stops me cold. Adriel looks to me for guidance while I’m standing here, immobilized. His gaze moves to my hands. “Why do you have my keys?” I can see his brain processing our actions with the tilt of his head. “And is that my wallet?!”

  He was cool about the sinners, considering. Maybe he’ll help us with this too. “We…we fucked up bad, Uncle Bennett. At the party tonight…” This is really hard to say out loud.

  “That’s why we’re leaving? Because of the video?” Adriel asks.

  I nod at her questioning, narrowed brows. “Bridgett posted it online.”

  Just as she opens her mouth, Uncle Bennett cuts in. “What video?”

  With an irritated sigh, she snaps, “The video of us having sex.” She ignores his dropped jaw as she turns back to me. “Will they take you away?”

  “They could take both of us away for a long time. We’ll go to prison. I won’t see you for years.” I hold my hands out to my uncle. “That’s why we have to go. We need money and a less conspicuous car than the hearse.”

  Shaking his head, he points to Adriel while keeping his glare on me. “I knew she was fucked up, but I thought better of you.”

  Though I don’t think his anger is misplaced, it infuriates me that Adriel has to listen to him talk about her that way.

  “Watch it, Uncle Bennett.”

  He scoffs. “I don’t think you’re in any position to threaten me right now.”

  Every minute that passes increases our chances of getting caught. “We’re running out of time! Either help us or get out of our way.”

  Adriel holds my hand to lead me out the door when Uncle Bennett grabs my arm. “You can’t spend your life running. This is different from the guy at the church. This was a conscious decision made by the both of you. If there’s a video, there’s proof. You have to accept the consequences.”

  Standing between us, Adriel lifts herself up on her toes. “Why should we be punished for something that only affects us? It’s not fair!”

  He’s in her face when he barks, “What about when he knocks you up w
ith a deformed kid with health issues? Does that only affect you?”

  She steps back, squinting her eyes, doubting the truth of his words. When she looks over her shoulder, it’s as if the empty space behind her is suddenly more interesting than this conversation.

  I shake my head. This is all irrelevant right now. He’s just stalling. I’m about to walk out when his fist grasps at my shirt. “I’m not letting you leave, Malakai.”

  My hand wraps around his wrist to get him off me at the same time Adriel kicks him in the shin. He yells in pain, releasing me. She uses his distraction to push him in the chest with all her might, grunting when her palms slam against his body.

  Stumbling backward, he has nothing to hold on to. I reach for him and our fingertips touch before he falls away from me. I hear a loud crack as his skull slams against the edge of the counter, snapping his head forward. Standing frozen, I watch his body drop to a heap on the linoleum floor.

  Moving or breathing is impossible. Adriel runs to me, holding my face and frantically begging for me to look at her. But I can’t. My eyes won’t peel away from my uncle.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It was an accident! I promise I didn’t mean to! Please don’t be mad at me!”

  Her desperate pleas snap my focus back to our situation. The truth is, I don’t have the luxury of time to mourn my uncle. Even though it was an accident, we’re about to be fugitives on the run. How many additional years will we get for manslaughter?

  I grab her arms, giving her a quick kiss to calm her. “Listen to me. No matter what happens, you can’t ever tell anyone about this, okay? If it comes down to it, we’re saying I did it.” She shakes her head, looking as though she’s about to start arguing with me, so I move to our now dead uncle, tucking my arms under his. “Come on, help me move him.”

  In silent obedience, she grabs his feet. Dragging him down the hall to the stairs, we carry him as fast as we’re able.

  “Go turn on the cremation chamber,” I order.

  My uncle’s unmoving eyes stare aimlessly. I once read that the brain continues to function on some level for up to ten minutes after death. Is he aware of what we’re doing? That he’s dead?

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper just in case he can still hear me.

  Adriel returns, running up the steps to help me lift him. Halfway down, he slips from my grasp. His head slams against the stairs, sending his lifeless body falling the rest of the way down.

  “That makes it easier,” she says.

  Her coldness jars me. Giving her an incredulous glance, I run to the landing to get him off the floor. We bring him to the crematorium, and it isn’t until we finally heave him onto the furnace lift that my anxiety simmers. I don’t think we have the time to wait for his body to turn to ash, and I’m not willing to risk it. Once I set the adjustable control system, I take her hand, leaving our uncle to burn.

  “We’ve gotta go. Come on.”

  Looking over my shoulder one last time, I wish I could tell him I loved him. I never wanted him involved at all.

  Adriel

  17 years old

  His silence is scaring me. He said he wasn’t angry with me about Uncle Bennett, yet he’s barely spoken to me since we got in the car. The gas light comes on, and he mumbles, “Shit,” under his breath. At the first station he sees, he pulls in, frowning at my clothes. “You’re still in your nightgown. Stay in the car.”

  “Will you get me a Fun Dip? And a cherry soda pop?”

  He nods. “Sure.”

  My finger taps my phone screen as he walks inside. I’m curious how he felt watching the video.

  I know what Bridgett’s favorite social media site is because she talks about it all the time. The video sits at the top of her feed with hundreds of terrible comments. I want so badly to respond to each of them and tell them exactly what part of their body I want to chop off.

  Watching his bottom lift with every hard shove into me tenses the muscles between my legs. Our conversation can be heard as clear as day. I don’t like that. That was supposed to be private.

  And they’re mocking it.

  By the time he gets back, I’m ready to scream. It infuriates me that people see us the way they do. They’ve never liked us, but they downright despise us being together.

  “They’re wrong.” I toss the phone on the console. “We looked beautiful together.”

  “I know.” He picks up our cells. “We need to get rid of these, though.” Taking them to the little trash can next to the gas pump, he wraps them in a paper towel before shoving them beneath the other trash.

  As he jumps back into the car, he asks, “So, is there anywhere you want to go? Pick a direction.”

  The first thought I have is our cousin. He said he wanted to help us. Right now, we need it. “Do you still have Mikkel’s letter?”

  “It’s in my bag.” Doubt laces his voice. “Do you think that’s a good idea? We don’t know anything about him.”

  The possibility of meeting a cousin I never knew existed excites my curiosity. I shrug. “Now seems as good a time to meet him as any. If he won’t help us, then we’ll be in the same situation we are now, but maybe he will.”

  With a heavy sigh, he says, “South it is.” He rubs my fingers with his thumb to the beat of the low music on the radio. “I took as much money as I could off of Uncle Bennett’s credit card and our accounts. It’ll have to be enough. I’m worried it’ll leave a paper trail if we keep taking out money.” He sighs, switching lanes to merge. “I still can’t believe Uncle Bennett is dead.”

  My chest hurts to hear him sound so heartbroken. It’s my fault. I really didn’t mean to push him; it was more like I felt like I had to. I was being screamed at to do it by the people I keep hearing. I definitely didn’t mean for him to die.

  “How much did you get?”

  “Almost eleven hundred. Even though it sounds like a lot, we need to be careful. It won’t be hard to burn through that.”

  “What about the money from Mommy and Daddy?”

  “I don’t know how to get to it,” he murmurs. “It’s in a different account.”

  “I’m sorry you’re sad about Uncle Bennett.”

  His head whips toward me with a frown. “Aren’t you?”

  Even knowing I should be, I’m just not. I don’t really care that he’s dead. I only care that Kai is hurting because of it. “I’m sad you’re sad.” He doesn’t say anything to that, so I switch the subject. “Can we change our hair? Maybe I can cut mine or dye it pink!”

  “Altering our appearance is a good idea, but first we need to find a different car. They’ll be looking for this one.”

  “How are we gonna do that?”

  “I don’t fucking know,” he snaps. “I’ve never been a goddamn fugitive before.”

  Ripping my hand back, my breath catches in my throat. “You think this is my fault.”

  “No, I don’t. I’m just tired. I’ll drive for as long as I can, then we’ll find somewhere to crash. Somewhere cheap that takes cash without a credit card.” His hand reaches over, caressing my cheek with his silent apology. Gently, he brings his fingers under my chin to turn my face toward him. “We’ll figure this out, okay? I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “I know you won’t.”

  We ride in silence for an hour before sleep starts yanking me down. With his hand in mine, I shut my eyes, drifting off to the song playing on the radio.

  I feel myself moving, and it takes me a second to remember why. My balled fists rub my eyes before I turn to my brother, who’s obviously struggling to stay awake. The sun is barely peeking out, giving everything a bluish tint. Looking at the clock tells me we’ve been in the car for more than six hours. Kai must be super sleepy.

  “Where are we?”

  “Missouri. We just passed somewhere called Bowling Green,” he yawns.

  “Are we going to stop soon? You need to sleep.”

  “Yeah, I just wanted to get as far as possible. I don’t
know how long we have until someone notices Uncle Bennett is missing.”

  We can’t stay at just any hotel, so I keep my eyes peeled for something inconspicuous. After another hour on the highway, we finally find a motel that looks so destitute we aren’t even sure it’s open until the green ‘Vacant’ sign flickers. It’s called Roll of the Dice Motel, which is perfect since that’s exactly what we’d be doing by staying there.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  He disappears inside the lobby while I open my bag. I brought my toe tag book and as many of my creations that would fit with my clothes. They all stare up at me, though none of them are alive right now. I wonder what will happen to the ones I left behind. Taking out Beddy, I watch Malakai jog back to the car.

  “It’s an hourly rate, so I paid for six—” His eyes shift to my backpack. “Oh my God, Adriel. Tell me you packed more than your toys.”

  “I did! I have dresses, socks, and panties. Don’t be mad. I already had to leave so many behind.”

  His hands wipe over his face with a groan. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

  Carrying our backpacks along with the plastic bag of food I took, we walk up to the long pathway where the rooms are. He takes out a key, sliding it into the lock of room six. The light buzzes, flickering every few seconds. Either the stained carpet or the water damaged walls have created a mildew smell.

  Opening my mouth, I stick out my tongue. “Yucky.”

  “It’s just for a few hours, you can handle it.”

  His backpack thuds when he drops it on the table by the window. Immediately walking to the bed, he yanks back the blanket, sending a big, shiny, black bug scurrying across the stained sheets. I really, really don’t like bugs. They are one of the very few things that make me cringe.

  His tired laugh warms my skin as he shakes out the sheets. “I know it’s gross.” He kicks off his shoes, leaving everything else on when he climbs on the mattress. “But I’m too fucking tired to care.”

  I set Beddy and my bags down next to his, so I can go potty. The bathroom is just as disgusting as the rest of this place. Walking back into the room, I find him already dreaming, his chest slowly rising and falling. I’m not really sleepy since I slept in the car.