THE LAW AND LADY JUSTICE
Page 22
"Not a chance, McGuire. I'm going to burn that Casablanca tape. Dammit, Doug, I'm serious." She shoved him down and straddled him. "You lie there and listen, because I've got something to say."
"Should I get your gavel, Judge?"
"I don't need a gavel. I never have. That's my point – a point that I've neglected to remind myself of for the past several weeks. For most of my thirty-four years I've prided myself on being a pretty independent, self-assured person. I admit I was devastated by Karen's death, but it made me more determined to set my goals and go for them. And, frankly, I think I did pretty damn good until I fell in love with Detective Douglas I. – for intractable – McGuire. Then overnight I became a spineless wimp vacillating between he loves me, he loves me not, like petals being plucked from a daisy. I swore I never wanted to see you again one minute, and vowed I couldn't live without you the next. I was flooded with such insecurities that I couldn't make a rational decision and stick to it. It was easier to rule on the worst case I've ever had to face in court, than to cope with the uncertainty of my relationship with you. Well, in the past few days I've done some serious thinking. I suffered mood swings from one end of the spectrum to the other, and I finally came to one irrevocable conclusion – I know who I am, I know what I want and I will not settle for anything less. I'm so in love with you, Doug McGuire, that there's no way I'm going to let you go. As one of my final official acts, I sentence you to life, Detective."
"You saying you're retiring from the bench?"
"To quote my favorite detective, 'You've got that right.' Actually, I've resigned already. Two more weeks and I'm through." She sighed deeply. "Oh, Doug, I'm so tired of courts and criminals, I'm getting out. I only went into this because of Karen's death. My biological clock is ticking away. I want to have a baby. Your baby."
He couldn't believe it. Nothing in his life had ever worked out this perfect. He pulled her down to him. "Fine. Let's make a baby. There's no time like the present."
"We might have done that already. I didn't take any pills with me when I went up to the cottage."
He chuckled. "Then I guess we better not waste any more time. Can a judge officiate her own wedding?"
Tears glistened in her eyes. "Do I detect a marriage proposal somewhere in that?"
"You've got that right." He dumped her off him and rolled over, cradling her in his arms. "Will you marry me, Jess? I can't figure out why you'd even consider a bum like me for the father of your child, but I swear there isn't anything in life I want more than to marry you." He cupped her cheek in his hand and gazed into the eyes of this woman he worshipped beyond reason. "I love you, Angel Face."
He wanted to say so much more. Not only that he loved her, but how much she'd changed his life, his attitudes. Given him a belief in a better life. How he wanted her physically – would always want her physically – but now he wanted the house and picket fence, too. The two-car garage. The His and Hers towels. And he wanted a couple kids, at least a little girl with auburn hair and brown eyes like her mother's. But he'd settle for whatever she wanted. Just as long as he had Jess. He could make it – get through anything thrown at him – as long as there was Jess.
Yeah, there was so much he wanted to – should – say to her, but he couldn't now. He had to learn how. And he would. It would come in time. She had the love and patience to teach him how.
So, instead, in his best Bogie imitation, he said, "Of all the criminal courts in all the towns of the world, I walked into yours."
"McGuire, that's the worst Humphrey Bogart impersonation I've ever heard." She moved in closer and their bodies melded like a kidskin glove to a hand. That was another thing he loved about Jess.
Jess slipped her arms around his neck. "But as your man Bogie said," she murmured, her lips so near he could taste them already, "'Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.'"
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