Fantastic Schools: Volume 2

by Nuttall, Christopher G.

  Sean realized that, without meaning to, he’d violated one the key unwritten rules of the academy. Their conditions were to be laughed about at best, ignored at worst, but never, ever made a cause for blame.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Sure,” she said, turning away. “You know what? Just forget the whole thing.”

  Sean grimaced and looked around. Hugo was still scrubbing the veranda, while Meredith was planting flowers along the walk and Medved sweeping up leaves. No one was looking at them, though he strongly suspected they were all listening. He scowled; couldn’t be helped.

  “Look,” he said. “Where I come from, there were a lot of girls dressing just like that, but they were all, you know, that kind of girl. And I know you’re not that kind of girl, so to me it’s kind of like you’re playing dress up or something. There’s a…disconnect, I think Professor Loren calls it. In any case, I think it’s cute. That’s what made me smile.”

  Again, she looked at him and he really wished he could see her expression.

  “There, you’ve made me share my feelings. I hope you’re happy,” he growled.

  “I am, thank you,” she said, and he was relieved to hear that a little bit of the jauntiness had come back into her voice. “But you gotta do more than that.”

  “Like what?”

  “I shared mine, you share yours. It’s only fair.”

  He grimaced.

  “Thought everyone knew by now,” he muttered.

  “Only that you tried to open a door to the Other Place.”

  “No, I didn’t!” he said. “That was an accident.”

  “So, what really happened then?”

  He sighed. “Mine’s a bit more complicated than yours. See, I was on this field trip to an archeological dig place, and I wandered off, ‘cause I was bored. And I was a bit of a self-righteous smart ass…”

  “What do you mean ‘was’?”

  “Ha ha. Anyway, long story short, I got lost and found this amulet thing and swiped it. Later I put it on and couldn’t get it off. It was like it welded to my skin. Then I started…acting strange and eventually got sent here.”

  “So, it gave you scales?” she said. “Just like that? Some kind of lizard amulet?”

  “Kind of,” he said. “It was a relic of this dark deity or something. When I first got here, I somehow got the idea in my head–well, the Amulet put it there–that I could get it off in the Odd Rooms.”

  “Oh!” she said, comprehending. The Odd Rooms were the original part of the mansion, now strictly locked off and forbidden to students. It was there that the border to the Other Place was thinnest.

  “Long and short of it is, I got it off,” he went on. “Or, Hugo did. He needed a new hand after that. Only, when we tried to leave, something tried to come through after us. Von Frankenstein got there in time to stop it, and then after we got out, I was like this.”

  He flexed his scaly claws, remembering the terrible pain and other, indescribable sensations that had gone through him that night.

  “So, to sum up, it was all my own stupid fault.”

  “Yes, I see that,” she said, rubbing her hands thoughtfully. “Though I don’t suppose there’s much point in making a fuss about it now. I mean, if you didn’t learn your lesson after all that, it’s not like a stern talking to’s gonna do much.”

  “That’s more or less what Hugo said,” Sean admitted. “I guess it’s only reason I wasn’t kicked out then and there.”

  “No wonder Frankenstein keeps an eye on you! He knows you’re a problem child.”

  “You could say that,” he shrugged. “Always have been, probably always will be.”

  “At least you can admit it,” she said. “Just for that, I will go to the dance with you after all.”

  He blinked, taken off guard, then grinned in relief.

  “Good,” he said. Once again, it seemed completely inadequate, but it was all he could think of.

  The Growth shook again.

  The night of the dance came at last, and Sean eyed his reflection dubiously. Hugo had left early to help supervise the set up, but not before giving him some advice on dressing, which Sean had attempted to follow. Formal wear never having been previously required at the school, and Sean never having had much use for it before coming, he, like many other students had had to rent his suit. It was old and made of dark red velvet that contrasted well with his black scales. He still thought he looked a little ridiculous, though he was grateful at least that he didn’t have any hair to brush anymore. He had also remembered to round off the tips and edges of his claws, just to be safe.

  Medved had, of course, had trouble finding a suit to fit him, as not only was he better than six-and-a-half feet tall and very broad, but his body was proportioned differently from any normal man’s, including the fact that his right leg was considerably longer than his left. In the end, Sean had had to employ a lot of safety pins to get his suit looking acceptable, though personally he thought the contrast between his formal wear and his semi-ursine features only made Medved look more horrifying than ever.

  That’s Lillibeth’s problem, not mine, he thought.

  “There, you look good,” he said aloud.

  “Thanks much!” Medved boomed, smacking Sean affectionately on the shoulder and nearly knocking him off his feet.

  “Don’t mention it,” he grumbled, rubbing the place where he’d hit him and feeling thankful for his scales.

  They left to meet their dates in one of the entrance halls. Several dozen people were milling about, pairing off or waiting for their dates. Lillibeth was staring dreamily out of a window, looking stunning in a long, silvery dress. Medved stumped over to meet her, his lips pulled back in a ghastly grin. Sean, however, forgot all about his roommate’s date when he saw his own.

  Euryda had put on a new mask for the occasion, this one with bright, painted flowers on the brow and a carved, smiling mouth. Her promise of making her dress “va-va-voom” was amply fulfilled with a low-cut, form-fitting number of black and bright green silk, skin-tight on top, with a loose and flowing skirt slit up the side to allow tantalizing glimpses of her long and shapely legs.

  Most striking of all, her hair was down, and the dark brown serpents were twisting and nosing about her shoulders or else nuzzling her under the chin in evident affection. It was a little shocking at first, but the overall effect was hypnotic and dreamlike, as though she were underwater.

  “Hi,” said Sean, croaking a little.

  “Hi,” she said brightly. “You look nice. That color suits you really well.”

  “Yeah, you too,” he said emphatically. “Uh, look nice, I mean.” He looked her up and down and felt, for the first time, that he really might enjoy this dance after all.

  “I try,” she shrugged cheerfully. “Shall we go then?”

  He took her hand in his claw. Several of the snakes raised their hoods and hissed warningly at him, but Euryda patted them reassuringly with her free hand. The snakes calmed down, though they continued to watch Sean with evident suspicion, as though daring him to make any sudden moves. He understood why she usually kept them under wraps and wondered if he’d get through the night without being bitten.

  “Goes like this actually,” she said, detaching her hand and looping her arm through his.

  “Oh, right,” he muttered. “Loren told us that, didn’t he?”

  “Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. Eventually. Maybe. I mean, I’m not depending on it or anything.”

  “No, I wouldn’t do that,” he said with a grin.

  Conversation lagged as they made their way through the twisting halls to the ballroom. Staff members were patrolling the route at intervals to ensure the students didn’t get lost or meet with any strangeness, so for a time the only things they said were the greetings they tossed out to them.

  “Hey, Mister Harker! Hi, Professor Muller! Evening, Dr. V!”

  Sean thought they ought to talk abou
t something, but the only topics that came to mind were how much he was dreading the moment they had to start dancing and how “va-va-voom” she looked, neither of which he thought would make much for conversation.

  “Medved looks nice,” she commented after a while as they went down a particularly long passage.

  “You think so?”

  “Well, relatively speaking,” she said in a lower tone, glancing over her shoulder at the couple coming along behind them. “At least he looks like he’s enjoying himself.”

  “Yeah, well, he’s with the best-looking girl in the school,” Sean muttered, looking back. “After you, I mean,” he added hastily.

  “Ooh, close one!” she said. Then she giggled. “She is beautiful, isn’t she? And so sweet in her own way. She’s just not really all here, you know? I mean that literally. It’s like her mind is off in fairy land or something.”

  “It probably is,” he said.

  “That’s what I mean. But she’s sweet for all that. Suppose that’s why she decided to go with him.”

  “Because she’s sweet?”

  “No, because her mind’s elsewhere. I mean, I guess she sees things other people don’t.”

  “Lucky her,” Sean muttered.

  “That’s not nice!”

  “Hey, he’s my friend, and I love the guy, but let’s be honest; even around here he won’t be winning any prizes for beauty. Or manners. Or hygiene. Or…well, a lot of things.”

  She giggled, playfully hitting him in protest.

  From there they fell to talking about the school and their various friends and teachers, which carried them into the ballroom. It was easy, he found; just like talking with her over breakfast.

  The hard work of students and staff had made quite a change in the formerly dusty and empty space. The floor had been polished until it fairly shone, and tables and chairs were set out all around the edges, while a wide empty space before the stage had been left clear for dancing. The walls were hung with banners depicting the crests of the Van Helsing, Frankenstein, Talbot, and Harker families, alternating with full-length, antique mirrors set up to create a greater impression of space, as well as (Sean suspected) to ensure that Dr. Lyle didn’t miss anything. Black, orange, and green streamers hung from the ceiling, jack-o-lanterns grinned from all corners, and the school crest was displayed on a great banner behind the stage.

  He had to admit, it was impressive.

  There were already quite a few people there. Most of the staff were walking about, checking their preparations. The towering figure of Professor Von Frankenstein stood in a corner by the window, talking quietly to old Quincey Harker. Dr. Lyle had been summoned and was flitting about the room greeting people. A few couples were already waiting on the dance floor, including Meredith and Spoons, who waved at Sean and Euryda as they came in. Hugo was up on the stage, running down a checklist with Professor Loren while Christian, the school’s eccentric music master, was warming up at the piano (Christian, who had been raised in the catacombs under the Paris Opera House, was not technically a monster, but was so deformed that he wore a porcelain mask at all times).

  Sean wasn’t really sure where to go, but Euryda soon took the decision out of his hands by dragging him over to speak to Chloe and Ramon. Chloe was a nice girl with a very sweet face, whose body had been about two-thirds replaced by some kind of plant. Professor Van Helsing had managed, with great effort, to arrest its growth, so there was no danger of its consuming her completely, but there was no removing it as far as anyone knew.

  Ramon had been partially-transformed into an alligator by a Voodoo priest. Unlike Sean, the only recognizably human thing about him now was his bare outline; his whole body was covered in scales and his face had a long, tooth-lined snout. But he greeted Sean enthusiastically and began at once to tell his version of how he had saved Chloe from the whatever-it-was in the closet. At least, Sean was pretty sure that’s what it was, though between Ramon’s alligator mouth and Cajun accent, he was only catching two or three words at a time. But he nodded and made a few tentative remarks, and Ramon smacked him genially on the shoulder, so he figured he must be pretty close to the mark.

  “They’re having a good time,” said Euryda after the other two had gone off to talk to someone else. “Doesn’t Chloe look nice? Perfect dress for her. I think Dr. Lyle gave her some tips. Not that I mean to say anything against her own taste, which is good, I only mean that it’s expert-level suitable, you know?”

  Sean nodded, watching Ramon eying the buffet. Between him, Medved, and Meredith, Sean doubted the food would last beyond the first half hour.

  The room quickly filled with milling couples, and before much longer, Professor Van Helsing ascended the stage and all fell silent.

  “Good evening,” he said. “I wish to thank you all for your tremendous effort over the past few weeks. Now, let the dancing begin!”

  There was a smattering of applause, and, at a sign from Hugo, Christian struck the first notes out of his piano. The low, haunting music filled the space, summoning echoes from the walls and seeming to vibrate the whole mansion. Sean felt his bones trembling at the music, as though it were reaching him from some far-off place beyond human ken.

  A few chords of this eerie strain, then Christian raised his hands over the piano and let the final note quiver away into the night. Then he set his fingers back to the keys and lighter, dreamier music came out; music for dancing. The waiting couples, stunned by the opening, recovered and one by one began to dance.

  Sean looked at Euryda and felt himself go red. He could feel the expectation in her hidden eyes and drew a deep breath.

  Okay, he thought. Here goes nothing.

  He took her hand in one claw, laid the other on her waist, and began.

  It wasn’t as bad as he thought it might be. Euryda was light as a feather and moved perfectly to the music. All he had to do was follow along and not step on her feet. Once he stopped watching himself, he soon caught onto the rhythm of the dance and flowed along with her, not nearly as gracefully, but at least in step. It was a strange sensation, as though they were floating across a lake of sound, carried along by the music as by a strong current.

  The dance ended, and everyone applauded. Euryda clapped eagerly, and Sean gently put his hands together a few times. It had, he decided, actually been rather fun.

  The next dance was quicker. Medved created a bit of a stir by plowing through several other couples as he swung Lillibeth around in what charitably could be described as dancing. Ramon and Chloe were doing an energetic kind of quickstep, while Spoons and Meredith swung impressively to the music.

  Several of the unconnected students were also moving onto the dance floor now. Matthew the half-spider, who unsurprisingly had not secured a date, was moving with a jerky, would-be rhythm to the music, the insectile appendages on his back twitching and flailing in time. Even Kenny, who like Hugo had had his soul transferred into another object (in his case an animatronic cartoon badger from a theme park), was at least tapping his foot and bobbing his head along with the music, which was about as enthusiastic as Sean had ever seen him.

  He could see some of the staff joining in as well. Joshua Van Helsing, the Professor’s eldest son, and Anna Harker were making an enthusiastic pair near the front of the room. Professor Thompson was dancing with David Harker, and Dr. Lyle with Professor Van Helsing. Professor Loren was cutting a would-be elegant figure with Lady Caligeri, while Professor Joan Muller, the history teacher, was dancing with Professor Delambre, the mathematics teacher.

  Professor Von Frankenstein, he saw, still stood in his corner, watching the dancers with his glittering eyes. Sean fought down an urge to wave at him.

  By the time of the third dance, Sean had lost most of his nerves and was genuinely enjoying himself. He was no longer simply following Euryda’s lead but was throwing in some (probably very un-rhythmical) moves of his own, which seemed to make her laugh as she gracefully leapt and twirled and danced about him, like a bird
flitting around a bull.

  By the time the fourth dance was underway, Sean was beginning to feel in need of a break. He was considering the best way to suggest it when the dancing suddenly came to a halt amid shrieks and the sounds of fighting. His stomach lurched with dread: Something’s gone wrong after all.

  It had, though fortunately it was nothing too serious. It seemed that, in the excitement of the day, Meredith hadn’t performed her ritual correctly and so “Baby” woke up in the middle of the dance and made her take a bite out of Spoons. Since her teeth weren’t made of silver, this of course did no permanent damage, but the sight of his blood unfortunately triggered Zenobia the Spider Woman to try to get more, leading to a snarling, savage wrestling match between the two girls over who would eat whom, while Spoons and Ichigo (Zenobia’s date) tried to separate them.

  The staff was on hand in an instant, and the music paused while the two girls were subdued and hustled off to calm down, and a quick accounting was made to ensure no one else was about to lose it. The only other person who seemed to be affected was Nicholas Mumber, whose tongue had been excited by the commotion and was sticking out of his mouth, shrieking curses in Latin while he tried to quiet it and it tried to bite his hand in between classical obscenities.

  Sean definitely felt a need for fresh air.

  “Mind if we take a break while they fix this?” he muttered.

  “Thought you’d never ask,” she answered, a little out of breath.

  They slipped out through the crowd, leaving the staff to get Mumber under control, and escaped onto the veranda. It was a brisk, clear night, the stars shining bright overhead. The streamers they’d hung on the Black One had all disappeared without a trace, but the other trees and the mysterious Growth still had most of theirs, even though the latter was waving and pulsating violently in the still air. They didn’t pay much attention to it. The Growth followed its own laws, as did many other things around the school.