The Truth About Grace

by Cassie Dandridge Selleck

  “Not much. I went to school with him, but we weren’t friends. He seems sincere, says all the right things, but something’s off. I can’t put my finger on it.”

  “Well, I’m glad he’s coming by. I didn’t feel like his buddy was forthcoming on his role, so I’m anxious to hear his story.”

  “Which buddy?”

  “Allred, I think it was. I’m not sure exactly. I’ve got someone else on the case, so all this is secondhand.”

  I’m not sure why, but a lightbulb clicked on in my head.

  “Did you…” I hesitated because I frankly didn’t want to make him mad. But, no, I was sure I was right. “Who’d you say you assigned the case to?”

  His head sort of snapped up and he looked confused for a second. “I don’t think I said. I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

  I frowned at him. We were adversaries in a lot of things, but we were, at the very least, friends outside of work.

  “Barry…”

  “What?” He picked up the pink packet, tore off the top and sprinkled white powder into his coffee cup.

  “Did you give this to Rebecca Yager?”

  I’d seen this before. It’s called the court of public opinion. A prosecutor up for re-election will send a story to the newspaper to gauge the public’s reaction before deciding how to proceed. Personally, I think it’s a bit cowardly, and I was more than a little surprised he would go this route. On the other hand, if it went our way, it might not be a bad thing.

  He took a sip from his cup and I could see him trying to keep a straight face.

  “Okay, okay…busted. But can you blame me? I mean, hell, I don’t even know who there would be to charge with anything. The rapist is dead. The old man is dead. The boy’s killer is dead. What am I gonna do, put an old lady in jail for destroying evidence? Accessory after the fact? What? I can’t see it. But I can’t ignore it, either.”

  I just shook my head. He had a point.

  Jim arrived ten minutes later. His story was brief. He said Donnie Allred and Allen Madison stopped by his house later that day and told him what they saw.

  “What was their demeanor when they told you?” I asked.

  Jim looked embarrassed. “I don’t think you want to know.”

  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to know,” I said.

  “Allen was kind of quiet about it, but Donnie thought it was funny.”

  Barry winced and rocked back in his chair.

  “Did you think it was funny?” I pressed.

  Jim took a deep breath. He didn’t want to answer the question. I’ve seen that look before.

  “I laughed, but I didn’t think it was funny. I never thought it was funny.”

  The room got deadly quiet. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

  “So this was in, what, September?” Barry finally broke the silence.

  “I think so, yeah.”

  “And you were still hanging around with them at Halloween?” Barry had clearly done his homework.

  “Not as much,” Jim said. “But, yes, we stopped by Miss Ora’s house to see if we could score some Halloween candy. She was acting weird though. She used to teach us in Sunday School, so we all knew her well. Seemed like she knew what happened, so I wanted to leave. Skipper was challenging her, though. I’ll never forget it. That’s why I came to see her yesterday. I wanted to ask her how she knew.”

  Barry leaned forward then. “Yeah, she knew all right. Listen, I’d like to get a deposition from you, if that’s okay. We can set it up for later this week. It’s no big deal, but I’d like to get these stories on the record before the information is released to the public. I just don’t see anything I can prosecute at this time. I would caution you, however, to speak to your attorney before you do anything.”

  Jimbo just shook his head. “I can do it today. I’ve already discussed this with several attorneys who think I’m nuts, but I don’t care. I want it off my conscience.”

  “Suit yourself,” Barry said, then punched a button on his phone and summoned his legal assistant. When she answered he said, “Have we got time for a deposition either this morning or after lunch? I’ll need you in on it, but I’ll be deposing the witness. James Hardy.”

  The phone crackled a little and she answered, “I can do 2:15 if that works for you.”

  “Perfect,” Barry said and ended the call.

  Jim and I left together and headed for our cars.

  “Can I take you to lunch?” he asked.

  “Ah, sure,” I said, feeling awkward at best, and disloyal at worst. “I was going to stop by to see Miss Ora first. You can follow me if you like.”

  51 – Grace

  I was helping Miss Ora into her robe when Patrice came in. She looked surprised to see me, even though I told her I visit Miss Ora every day. She told me she’d met with Jimbo Hardy that morning and he wanted to talk to both of us if that was okay.

  To tell the truth, I’m not all that excited about talkin’ to any of them boys. Ain’t nothin’ they can say to change anything. But it’s hard to blame this one. He wasn’t even there when it happened. And Miss Ora wanted to see him, so Sister brought him to the room. I couldn’t tell who was more nervous, him or Miss Ora. I didn’t feel nervous at all, just irritated.

  I gotta say, though, the man is smooth. Whether he means what he’s sayin’ or not, you believe him. But maybe he’s just sayin’ all the right things ’cause he knows what he’s talkin’ about.

  Miss Ora remembered him pretty good. He told her he was sorry they’d been such jerks to her that Halloween night. “It just seemed like you knew something about Skipper, and I was embarrassed.”

  Miss Ora nodded. “I knew.”

  “I wish I’d done everything different. I just want you to know that I’m sorry, Grace. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I was raised in a good home, by good parents, and I should have done better. I’ve spent my adult life trying to atone for this, to pay it forward and help other women who’ve suffered the way you did. If there is anything I can do…anything…I will do it. All you have to do is ask.”

  It felt weird watching a grown man’s eyes fill with tears. That’s somethin’ I ain’t never seen before. I almost felt sorry for him. But then, what do you say?

  All I could think to say was, “Thank you.” That was the best I could do. I stood there, awkward as hell, wishin’ he would just leave.

  Miss Ora broke the silence. “So were you there when it happened? I’m confused about that.”

  “Oh, no, no…we all rode through together, but I was in a hurry to get home, so I was ahead of them. We were halfway through town when Allen yelled at me to hold up and wait for Skipper. We stopped and waited for a minute, and he still didn’t show up, so they decided to go back. I wish I’d gone with them. I have to believe I’d have stopped him. But it was Wednesday, and I was late for church. Allen told me later…”

  He got really choked up then and stopped talking.

  “It’s okay,” I told him, and I meant it. It’s done and over with. Ain’t no use cryin’ now.

  “I’m so sorry, Grace. Please forgive me.”

  I took a deep breath and let it out. All I could think was, if I forgive him, he’ll leave and I can just go on. I was about to speak when I noticed Patrice studyin’ the man with her lawyer face. I knew she was fixin’ to nail him on something. I’ve seen that look too many times before.

  “Why didn’t you tell?”

  He looked surprised by the question. “I…I was terrified.”

  “Of whom?” Patrice frowned.

  “Well…of Skipper and his daddy, I guess. Then, the longer I went without telling, the harder it was. Especially when I saw you at school…”

  “Wait…” Sister interrupted him. “You knew who she was?”

  “Yeah, Allen recognized her. He said she was your little sister, which made it even worse. The guilt was awful. I never forgot, though, and I’ve spent my whole life trying to make amends for not stepping up.
That’s why I started Grace Ministries right out of college. I—"

  I gripped the railing on Miss Ora’s bed and leaned toward him. “You used my name?”

  “No, I…well, kind of, I mean…” He backed up against the door with his hands spread wide. “It was more like a double entendre. It’s a faith-based ministry and it just…it just seemed right.”

  “It’s my name.” I felt my bottom lip push forward like I was a child and I clenched my lips together trying not to lose it. “My name. Mine.”

  I was shaking so bad, I had to sit down. I put my head in my hands and started rocking back and forth.

  “I think you need to leave.” Miss Ora’s voice sounded shaky, too.

  “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” I heard him say, but it sounded like he was in a tunnel.

  I heard the door open and close and the room got quiet. When I opened my eyes, it was just me and Miss Ora in the room.

  52 – Patrice

  I followed Jim Hardy to the parking lot. He was pale and kept mopping his forehead with a white handkerchief.

  “You should have warned me about the name,” I said.

  “I didn’t think of it. I just didn’t. It has been this name the entire time.”

  It took only seconds for the enormity, the gravity of this meeting, the intentions of this man, to settle on me. It is an oppressive weight I’ve felt all my life, and it never gets any easier to bear.

  “Did you ever stop to consider that you built an entire career on her story? A story you have told over and over for your own benefit and never once for hers? You had the least to lose, Jimbo. Throughout all of this, you were the one person who had nothing to fear.”

  “I was a kid. I made a mistake.”

  “And you made another one coming here today.”

  “I came to apologize.”

  “No, you came for forgiveness. You came for redemption. Like she owes you or something. But what did you risk? Nothing. Nothing at all. You rode in on your big white horse like you’re some kind of hero. Well, don’t kid yourself. You’re not. Everything you’ve done – every single thing – is to make yourself feel better. It’s got nothing to do with how Grace feels.”

  “I don’t want that to be true.” I could see tears welling up in his eyes and his voice grew strained and hoarse. “I wanted her to know I was sorry.”

  “Right. I get that. You wanted her to know you were sorry so you would feel better. Even worse, you think she’s the one who needs pity. Wrong. Wrong, Jimbo. You’re the one. You are the one.”

  I watched him walk toward his car, a Mercedes coupe that looked out of place in the parking lot of a nursing home. He opened the door, then looked back at me like he wanted to say something. I waited, but he did not speak. He slid into the driver’s seat and disappeared behind the tinted window.

  I turned to go back inside and saw Grace standing silently by the door. She looked small, wounded, lost. I reached her in four steps and folded her into my arms.

  “I’m sorry, Grace. I should have known better than to bring him.”

  “I need help, Sister.”

  “I know you do. I know.”

  ✽✽✽

  I called Kamilah on the way home. She said she would call the centers we’d pre-registered with and see which one had a bed and meet us at Miss Ora’s house in an hour. Grace and I were sitting on the porch when she arrived. I went inside to pack Grace’s clothes and give them time to talk. I didn’t need to stop to think what I’d do with Rochelle and Shawn. I had a support system. Whatever I needed would be supplied.

  I called Miss Ora at the nursing center and told her what was happening. She said she’d be fine at the center as long as Grace was gone. I told her I’d work on getting a home healthcare nurse if she was ready sooner, but she rejected that plan outright.

  “If Grace can stay in rehab, so can I,” she said. “And I’ll stay as long as it takes her to get well. It’s the least I can do.”

  “Okay, but I don’t want you to think you’re stuck there forever. Just let me know when you’re ready, and we’ll make it happen.”

  “I’ll be ready when Gracie’s ready,” Miss Ora’s voice shook with emotion. “She is coming home, isn’t she?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said. “She is definitely coming home.”

  53 – Grace

  I don’t know how I knew it was time. I was standing there in the room with Miss Ora thinkin’, if something doesn’t change today, I’m gonna use. It’s too much. It hurts too much. I thought if I just had someone to take care of, the hurt would go away. I wanted the kids to be enough to make me forget. But I have it backwards. I gotta deal with the pain or I’m never gonna be enough for them. I gotta take care of me before I can take care of anybody else.

  When we got home, I sat on the porch with Sister and waited for Kamilah to get there. She’s gonna take me to the rehab center in Gainesville. Sister asked me if I wanted to wait ’til tomorrow…if I wanted to say goodbye to my babies.

  I said, “If I wait, I won’t go.”

  She just nodded and squeezed my hand.

  “I’m gonna miss this porch.”

  She laughed. “Next time you see it, Miss Ora will be sitting out here.”

  “I sure hope so.”

  “And Shawn will have his learner’s permit.”

  “Lord help,” I said.

  54 – Patrice

  Three weeks after Grace signed herself into the recovery center, Rebecca Yager-Mills’ article came out in the Mayville Tribune. Barry Hammond called me two days later and asked me to stop by to discuss the case.

  When his assistant ushered me into his office, he greeted me warmly, seated me in one of the chairs in front of his desk, then sat beside me in the other.

  “You’ve read the article, I assume?” He had the newspaper in his hand, folded in half and then again to reveal just the half page article bearing the headline Local Woman Seeks Justice for The Pecan Man.

  “Oh, yeah, I read it.”

  “What’d you think?”

  “Pretty impressive reporting. She’s an amazing storyteller,” I said.

  “She’s good. I won’t be surprised if she starts getting offers from the big guns.”

  I laughed. “You think it’s that good?”

  “I do. Part human interest and part exposé…it has all the right elements. I’m still sweating it a little though. Could be a career breaker for me.”

  “So that’s why you went the media route?”

  “Hey, it’s an election year. One wrong move and I’d be out of a job. I wasn’t all that happy when you laid it in my lap. Too complicated. Too personal. Too many variables.”

  “Trust me, I get it. I felt the same way when Miss Ora dumped it on me.”

  “How’s she doing, by the way. I heard she’d had a stroke.”

  “She’s coming along. She’ll actually be ready to come home in the next few weeks, but she has decided she’s staying in the nursing center until Grace comes home.”

  “Where’d Grace go?”

  Where’d Grace go, indeed. I couldn’t help smiling. I thought of my sister’s face as she said goodbye and climbed into Kamilah’s SUV. I have never seen her so determined, so confident, so ready to be well.

  “She checked herself into rehab,” I said.

  Barry leaned forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.

  “Oh, Patrice, that is wonderful news.”

  “It is, isn’t it?”

  “Honestly, it couldn’t have happened at a better time. Just as well she’s out of town until this blows over.”

  “How bad do you think it’s going to be?” I hadn’t heard much myself, but that wasn’t unusual. I don’t watch much television, and rarely the local news at all. Truth be told, I was lying low.

  “I’m feeling pretty good about it, actually. Kornegay’s family isn’t too happy. Our city police are a little on edge. Horace Lindsey is catching some heat, but he says he doesn’t care. It was his report t
hat was falsified, his signature forged, and his reputation on the line. He says he understands why the chief did it, but he doesn’t appreciate having his own actions brought into question. If it goes to court, he’s willing to testify accordingly.”

  I winced. I didn’t like the sound of that. “I was sure hoping it wouldn’t get that far.”

  “It won’t. I’ve had several ASA’s look at it, too. We all believe the same thing. Once we exclude anything beyond the statute of limitations, we’re left with basically nothing. We could commission an investigation by internal affairs, but there is no indication this was a systemic problem in Kornegay’s force. If it had been, we’d have seen evidence of it long before this.”

  “I don’t know,” I said, “this could prompt a few people to cry foul on their own cases. I’m going to bet there will be more than one defense attorney digging through their case files.”

  “No doubt about it, but we’ll cross those bridges when we get to them. For now, I am going to decline to press charges in this case.”

  “Whatever happened with Skipper’s friends?”

  “Ha!” Barry shifted in his chair. “Did I not tell you about that?”

  “I haven’t spoken to you since the day of Jim Hardy’s deposition.”

  “Yeah, that was the one that threw me. He was all gung-ho to tell his story before you left, but he never showed for the deposition. We tried to call him several times, left messages on his phone, but he never returned our calls. A week later, we got a letter from his attorney saying we’d need to direct further inquiry to their office.”

  I just sat there a minute, stunned and silent.

  “Wow,” I said finally. “Just wow.”

  “I wondered what you said to piss him off.”

  “I just told him I thought this was all for his own benefit and not Grace’s.”

  “And he proved you right, didn’t he?”

  “Yeah, he did,” I said. “How about the other two?”

  “Donnie Allred was pretty clear he had no intentions of cooperating. He said if we charged him, he’d get an attorney. Otherwise he wanted to be left alone. The other guy, Allen something…he said he’d testify if it went to court. So, you know, that was it for me. I got nothing. I’m not going to waste time and money on a case that has nowhere to go.”