Lonestar Secrets

by Colleen Coble

  The girls came sputtering up out of the water. Kylie climbed into Shannon's lap. Her cold little body made Shannon gasp, but she wrapped a towel around her daughter and drew her closer. She held out her other arm for Faith. "Cold, sweetie?" To Shannon's surprise, Faith glanced at her father's retreating back, then crawled into Shannon's lap. She wrapped the other side of the towel around the shivering child.

  It probably wouldn't work, but a thought struck her. She leaned over the still water with the girls. Their reflections shimmered back up at them. "Look at us, girls."

  "We look just like you, Mommy," Kylie said. "Me and Faith. Are we going to be as pretty as you?"

  "Prettier," Shannon said, sitting back with her arms tight around the girls.

  Faith touched her face and stared at her. "Are you really my mom?" she whispered.

  Why the sudden interest? Shannon hugged the little girl tightly. "You tell me, Faith. Look at my eyes and hair. My mouth. Then look at your own in the water."

  The child studied her, then leaned over the water again and stared at her reflection. When she sat back against Shannon, the stiffness had gone out of her small body. "Maybe you are," she whispered.

  "It's okay to love me and love your other mommy," Shannon said, pressing a kiss against her daughter's hair. "We're a family now you, me, Kylie, and Daddy. I won't take the place of your other mommy."

  "I can't hardly remember how she looked," Faith said in a small voice.

  Shannon's heart broke for her daughter. "It's okay," she whispered. "You'll see her again someday in heaven. And she's watching out for you now, praying for you, loving you."

  Faith stiffened. "She'll be sad if I love you," she wailed, tears beginning to flow.

  So that was it. "No, she'll be glad you have a new mommy to take care of you. She was sad to leave you and was worried about you being alone."

  "No, no, she wasn't," Faith said. "She left because she wanted to go. She didn't love me enough."

  Shannon rocked her children, one sobbing and the other trying to console. "I'm sure she wishes she'd been wiser," she whispered. "I know you don't understand, but even mommies make mistakes. But I know she loved you very much, sweetheart. And I love you. I'll never leave you willingly."

  "Me too, Mommy?" Kylie asked.

  Shannon's arm tightened around Kylie. "I love you both just as much." Had Kylie felt neglected during Shannon's attempt to show Faith her love? "More than anything."

  "More than Daddy?" Kylie asked.

  Shannon heard the rumble of a laugh over her head and glanced up to see Jack looming over them. Amusement gleamed in his eyes.

  "Let's go get dressed and we'll look for butterflies," she said. Her distraction worked, and the girls slid off her lap and ran to get their clothes. Hugging the towel around her, she scrambled to her feet.

  "Faith seems to be warming up to you," Jack said.

  He was standing too close for Shannon's peace of mind. The clean scent of the spring still clung to his skin.

  He reached out and caught a lock of wet hair. "You hair smells like sunshine all the time. How do you do that?"

  "I ... it's my shampoo," she stammered. She should go help the girls get dressed, but she couldn't move.

  His thumb stroked her cheek. "You're driving me crazy, Shannon," he muttered.

  She stared into his eyes and couldn't say a word. His lips brushed hers and she was still frozen in place.

  A small hand tugged at her fingers. "Mommy, you said we were going to look for butterflies."

  Shannon's laugh betrayed her nervousness, and she stepped away from Jack even though there was nowhere she'd rather be. "I've got to get dressed," she said.

  "Too bad," he whispered.

  She ran for the cave and her sanity.

  SHANNON SAT ON A BAR STOOL AT THE COUNTER. SHE PROPPED HER ELBOWS on the granite top and leaned her chin into her palm. The children were in bed, and Jack was checking on the horses before turning in himself. It was only her and Enrica, and Shannon had questions she'd longed to ask when no one was around.

  She watched the plump housekeeper wipe down the counters one last time. "Enrica, what was Mr. Jack's first wife like?"

  Enrica put down the dishrag. Her dark eyes appraised Shannon. "Miss Blair was flesh-and-blood woman with faults like you and me. She love Mr. Jack and Faith. But she is gone now. You good for Mr. Jack. He need strong woman to work beside him. Mr. Jack, he love you now."

  Shannon shook her head. "I'm not so sure, Enrica. I'm a nuisance to him." But in spite of her denial, she couldn't help remembering the expression in his eyes out at the mountain pool.

  Enrica's smile flashed, then disappeared, and she shook her head. "Mr. Jack stubborn. He don't want to love you, but I see it in his eyes when he watch you. He need help to admit it. You tell him you love him."

  Shannon opened her mouth to deny loving him, but she closed it again. This was one secret impossible to keep. "You're right," she whispered. "But I don't want him to know. Don't tell him, Enrica."

  "You tell him," Enrica said again. She walked around the counter and cupped Shannon's cheek in her rough brown hand. Her dark eyes bored into Shannon's. "Mr. Jack, he need you. You tell." She dropped her hand and left Shannon in the kitchen.

  Could it be true? Shannon wished she could believe it. There were times she thought she caught a glimpse of love in his eyes before he quickly cloaked it. Like today up at the swimming hole. That kiss had left her breathless with hope, but she'd been afraid to believe, afraid to let down her guard.

  Sometimes she daydreamed about what life would be like if Jack loved her. What if she were brave and managed to speak? But what if she told Jack how she felt and saw only pity in his eyes in return? It would be more than she could bear.

  Shannon hadn't yet seen any real sign of love from him. He mostly kept his distance, though today things had seemed to shift. Maybe Enrica was right. Shannon had faced other challenges in her life. She'd never run from anything. Losing her parents had been hard, but at least she'd seen the way her dad watched her mom with love in his eyes. Dad might have always been after a quick buck, but everything he did was for her and her mother. And her girls needed the security of knowing their parents would never split. They would thrive in a loving home where they saw parents who modeled a good marriage. She couldn't let her fear rob her girls.

  She rose and went up the stairs to her room. Glancing around at the pale pink carpet, the beautiful four-poster bed, the feminine wallpaper, she knew she couldn't spend her life alone in this room. If it took laying bare her heart, she had to do it. When the years passed and nothing changed, she would regret not trying.

  She shut the door and opened her dresser. The scent of cedar from the new dresser rushed to her nose. She moved her cotton pajamas out of the way and smiled as she always did at the Scottish terriers in the pattern. They'd been a gift from Mary Beth. Her smile faded at the thought of her friend.

  There'd still been no word on her whereabouts since she'd told the man about the stocks. Curt still claimed to know nothing. Shannon was beginning to fear Mary Beth was dead. She dug down to the bottom of the drawer, under two more sets of pajamas, to reveal the beige lace gown Allie had bought for her during the outing in San Antonio. She lifted it out and held it up. Did she dare? Her lungs squeezed. There was only one way to find out Jack's reaction.

  She shucked her jeans and T-shirt, then raced to the bathroom, where she took a quick shower. Glancing at the shampoo, she decided she would take time to wash and dry her hair since Jack seemed to like the smell of her hair products.

  Half an hour later, she tugged a comb through her freshly dried hair. She stared at her reflection again, then tucked her hair behind her ears. No, that showed too much of her face, so she combed it again. Makeup might help. She dusted on a trace of powder and blush, then stroked some subtle color on her lids.

  Padding across the carpet to the bed, she told herself to have courage. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. She dropped
the gossamer nightgown over her head and tugged it into place. Surveying herself in the full-length mirror, she eyed her pale face and tremulous mouth. She tried a smile on for size. Better, but the fear in her eyes was still there. If he noticed that fear, maybe it would inspire him to be gentle with her heart. She grabbed a tube of lip gloss that had a hint of color.

  If she didn't know better, she'd think the gown was a corset, she was having such trouble catching her breath. Glancing at her watch, she knew it was now or never. She took a deep breath and turned to the door. She eased open the door and listened. The news was playing on the TV downstairs, Jack's final ritual of the day. He'd be up to bed after the newscast showed the football scores, another fifteen minutes. There was still time to chicken out.

  Shannon bit her lip. Maybe Enrica was wrong. Shannon rejected the thought. The way he'd kissed her today spoke more of attraction than irritation. He might not be willing to admit he had feelings for her, but a woman always knew. She had to cling to that hope.

  On her way down the hall, she peeked in on the girls. They slept entwined in Kylie's bed. Shannon tugged the blankets around them, then dropped a kiss on each soft cheek. She was doing this for them too. For all of them.

  She stepped back into the hall and tiptoed to the door at the end. Jack's room. She stepped into the room and flipped on the bedside lamp before glancing around. Her gaze fastened on the bed. She didn't have the courage to wait there. It was too bold a move, even for her.

  She tore her eyes from the king-size bed and moved to the easy chair by the window. He might not see her the second he came into the bedroom, and she'd have time to gather her courage after the reality of his presence unnerved her. The chair welcomed her, and she hid herself in its embrace. Panic seized her and she nearly fought her way out of the grip of the chair. She should leave now, before she faced utter humiliation. She hadn't even practiced what to say. Or even how to go about seducing her own husband.

  She wet her lips. This was all wrong. Better to hurry back to her room, tear this nightgown off, and forget this whole plan. She had half risen when she heard Jack's tread on the steps. Even if she left now, he'd see her exiting his room and interrogate her. Sitting back down and placing her palm on the pit of her stomach, she drew in a deep breath. Adrenaline surged through her. After tonight, no one would ever say Shannon MacGowan feared anything.

  Jack entered the room and shut the door. She observed him again, his shock of dark hair a black MacGowan as he'd be known in Scotland. Muscular shoulders and arms. Legs as strong as tree trunks. A man who turned heads, both male and female. A fierce love and possessiveness swept over her. He was hers. Neither of them believed in divorce, so what she planned was right and good. She clung to the belief when he turned toward the bathroom.

  His eyes lit on her, and his mouth dropped as she rose. "Shannon?"

  Was that hope in his face? She saw his eyes darken. She rose and faced him. "The horses okay?" she said in a voice that was barely a throaty whisper.

  He took a couple of steps closer. Shannon knew he was no fool. He would have known why she was here the second he noticed the gown with no robe. She took hope in his response and matched his steps.

  His gaze never left her face. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

  Shannon took several more steps until she was in his personal space, close enough to inhale the scent of hay clinging to his shirt. She reached out and touched his chest, and he flinched.

  His hands gripped her arms and he stared into her face.

  "Don't send me back to my room," Shannon whispered. "We're married, and the girls need to see a normal marriage modeled."

  His throat worked. "Is that the only reason you're here?"

  It would be so easy to nod, to keep her pride intact, but she wasn't a coward. It was all or nothing. She shook her head. "I love you, Jack." The blood roared in her ears as she waited to see if he would hold her or thrust her away.

  A groan escaped his lips. His fingers bit into her arms, then he crushed her to his chest and his lips found hers.

  Th

  THE DIM LIGHT OF APPROACHING SUNRISE WOKE JACK. HE ROLLED OVER and found himself nose to nose with a woman. Shannon. He studied the delicacy of her closed lids, the long lashes fanning her cheeks, the blush of color on her face from sleep. It had taken a lot of courage for her to come to his room and force them to face their feelings.

  Had he even told her last night that he loved her? Maybe not. Today he'd make sure she knew how much he loved her and how happy he was they were a real family. Maybe they'd even have another child. His smile faded. It still seemed disloyal to Blair to be contemplating a new life with Shannon.

  Still, it was up to him to make sure their family stayed intact. He'd visit Wally and see if he could hurry the adoptions along. Find out what their options were about Larue and how much they should offer the guy. The Mustang Makeover was coming up at the end of the week, and he had a lot of work still to do with his horses. So much to do this week.

  Shannon sighed and rolled over, and he realized she was going to sleep for a while. She'd gotten a call about a foaling mare in trouble and had gone out around one, then come back at two thirty and crawled back into his arms. He had a feeling this was going to be their lives, and the middle-of-the-night stuff was going to take some adjustment.

  He slipped out of bed, pulled on his jeans, grabbed his boots, and tiptoed out of the room. The rest of the house slumbered on too. Jack glanced at his watch and realized it was only six. He could go to work with the mustangs early, then take a break and run to town to see Wally. Passing the kitchen, he grabbed a couple of boiled eggs out of the fridge, then went out to his truck.

  When he reached the camp and got to his corral, the mustangs nickered at his appearance and Dancer trotted to thrust her nose in Jack's hand. They were tamed well enough that they'd do him proud on Saturday.

  Buzz put a boot on the fence rail beside him. "You're here early, partner."

  "I have an errand later today. Thought I'd get an early start."

  Buzz chewed on his unlit cigar. "They look good. You're ready."

  "How are the rest looking?" His main goal was to find homes for the mustangs. The prize money meant nothing to him.

  "Good. We'll be the media stars for our thirty seconds of fame."

  "Hopefully it's enough to place a lot of horses."

  Buzz nodded to the two horses. "You takin' these two?"

  Jack grinned. "How'd you know?"

  "Never seen you pass up a horse that grew on you." Buzz spit out the tip of his cigar. "You and the little lady gettin' along okay?"

  Jack couldn't help the huge grin that split his face. "Hunky-dory."

  "What about Larue?"

  Larue was the main worry on his mind. He eyed Buzz's furrowed brow and the concern in his eyes. "What about him?"

  "Say you beat him. He might get vindictive."

  "No might about it." Which was why Jack had to nail down the adoption before the competition this Saturday.

  "Got an idea, Jacky." Buzz took another bite of his cigar and spit it out. "What if you let him win?"

  The idea was so ludicrous Jack laughed. At first. Until the wisdom of Buzz's words soaked in. The money and beating Jack might be enough to salve Larue's wounded ego.

  "How do you know about the situation with him?"

  "He's a blowhard. He's told half the camp he's got twins. It didn't take much to put two and two together. He's been talking to the media too. I reckon there will be an article in the paper."

  No wonder the reporter had left off harassing him and Shannon. He had a pipeline to the other side of the problem. A newspaper article should answer the questions flying around town about whether Jack had an affair with Shannon. It went against the grain to let Larue win. Jack wanted his mustangs to do well to prove gentle training methods were best. If he let Larue win, ranchers might hire him to work with their horses. Did Jack go with his gut or with Buzz's wisdom?

  "I'll think
about it," was what he finally could promise.

  SHANNON STRETCHED AND RUBBED HER EYES. BRILLIANT LIGHT SHONE IN her windows. She must have overslept. When she looked around, she realized she wasn't in her own bed, and the memory of the night before flooded back. Heat rushed to her cheeks as joy did the same to her soul. Jack loved her. He hadn't said the words, but she knew it.

  She rolled over to kiss him good morning and found him gone. An indentation of his head in the pillow told her it was no dream. But he'd left without a word, left her sleeping. Surely he'd left a note. She sat up and felt the covers, searched the bed table. Nothing.

  Her euphoria dissipated, but she refused to give in to the hovering depression. He'd probably wanted to let her sleep. She awakened deciding to appeal to Larue's better nature. Jack would scoff at her, but she had to try.

  Scrambling out of bed, she got ready for work and hurried down the steps. When she asked Enrica where the girls were, the housekeeper told her they were at the barn with two of Jack's most trusted hands. She forced down a bit of Enrica's omelet, stopped to kiss the girls goodbye, then bolted for her car. Usually she and Jack rode to work together, so his leaving her behind without a word was even more inexplicable. Didn't he realize a woman needed some reassurance?

  She made a detour to Wally's office to ask him for a release-ofrights form. His secretary said he wasn't in yet, but the woman had a standard one available. Shannon stuffed it in her purse and ran for the door. She was already way late.

  The camp already bustled with activity when she wove her way through the cowboys and horses. Today was supposed to be one of three "dress rehearsals," as Buzz called them. The trainers would put the horses through their hoops as if the country were watching. Shannon climbed a fence to watch.

  Jack's horses were third in line. He caught her eye and smiled, and Shannon's fears melted way. The horses performed well, the black stallion especially. With Jack on his back, the big mustang galloped around the cones in record time. He'd be a great rodeo mount.