Do you take this rebel?

by Sherryl Woods

  “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Don’t cry. She’s going to be fine.”

  “I know, but…” She looked at him, feeling an over-whelming sense of sorrow. “But Caleb won’t be. Karen’s lost him forever. How can I be so glad about my mother, when my best friend’s husband is dead?”

  “One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Karen understands that. She’s as happy as you are that your mother’s prognosis is good. She would never begrudge you that. And she knows that you care about her and her loss. She’s going to need all of you more than ever. It’s good that you’ve come home. Even better that you and Lauren, at least, intend to stick around.”

  She dared to meet his gaze then and saw something else in his eyes, something she hadn’t dared to hope for in years and years. There was tenderness and longing and hope.

  “I’m glad you’re back to stay,” he said softly.

  They were words she had longed to hear. His eyes promised things that she had yearned for. And yet she couldn’t allow herself to be swept off her feet, caught up in a dream of what might be, now that she was back in Winding River. Not with Jake and the secret of his paternity standing between them.

  Because if Cole knew the truth, that she had kept his son from him all these years, whatever fantasy he was spinning about their future would crash and burn under the weight of his justifiable fury. He might eventually forgive his father’s actions, but he would never forgive her for keeping such a secret. Never. And if he was inclined to, Frank Davis would have quite a lot to say about having the Davis heir kept from them.

  “I have to go in,” she said, pulling away, putting a safe distance between them.

  “Why? It’s not that late.”

  “But I have to be at Stella’s for the morning shift tomorrow,” she said.

  “Come on,” he chided. “Surely you don’t need that much beauty sleep.”

  “You’d be surprised.”

  “Then have dinner with me tomorrow night, you and Jake.”

  “No,” she said, more harshly than she should have.

  He regarded her quizzically. “Why not?”

  “Because I need to go to the ranch to see Karen,” she said at once, praying that he would accept the excuse.

  “Then I’ll drive you.”

  If she refused him, he would want to know why, and she didn’t have a single answer that he would accept without dissecting it.

  “Fine,” she said with undisguised reluctance.

  “Thank you, Cole,” he mocked.

  She sighed. “I’m sorry. I do appreciate it, really I do. You’ve been a rock through all of this. I know Karen is grateful, too.”

  He regarded her doubtfully, but let it go. “Then I’ll see you about three. Does that give you enough time after your shift ends?”

  “Three will be fine.”

  “Maybe I’ll stop by earlier and spend some time with Jake.”

  Cassie’s heart skidded to a stop. “I…I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said, scrambling to come up with a reason he would buy. None came to mind.

  Cole studied her quietly for what seemed to be an eternity, then asked, “Is there a reason you don’t want me around Jake? This isn’t the first time I’ve sensed that you’d just as soon I steer clear of him.”

  “I just don’t want him to start to count on you. It’s hard on a boy if men come and go in his life.”

  His gaze narrowed. “Have a lot of men come and gone in Jake’s life?”

  “No, because I have been very careful not to let that happen.”

  “I won’t let him down,” Cole said.

  “You say that, but you can’t guarantee it.”

  “Any more than you can,” he replied. “We’re all human. We all disappoint the people we care about from time to time, even with the best intentions. But I swear to you, Cassie, I would never knowingly hurt him.”

  “You wouldn’t mean to,” she agreed. “But it’s inevitable.”

  “You would rather deprive him of my company than risk having me hurt him?”

  “Yes,” she said flatly. “That’s how it has to be.”

  “For a woman who once thrived on risks, you’ve grown up to be a cautious woman.”

  “I was burned,” she said simply. “I learned my lesson.”

  He studied her with a disconcerting intensity, then asked, “Who did that to you, Cassie?”

  She regarded him incredulously. “You have to ask?”

  “It wasn’t just me. It couldn’t have been. Was it Jake’s father? Did he disappoint you badly, too?”

  “Yes,” she said, seizing the explanation. He had no idea how true it was. “Jake’s father made it impossible for me ever to trust another man.”

  Cole leveled a look into her eyes that burned right through to her soul. “I’m going to change that,” he vowed. “Just wait and see.”

  But he couldn’t, she thought as he dropped a tender kiss on her forehead and walked away. Of all the men in the world, Cole Davis was the one least likely to be able to change the way she felt about trust.

  And if he knew the truth about Jake, he’d feel the exact same way about her.

  Chapter Ten

  Cole took Cassie’s reluctance to let him get too involved in her son’s life as a challenge. Not only did he intend to convince her she was wrong about that, he intended to win her heart again.

  Of course, trying to court a woman whose mother was ill and whose best friend was in mourning required a bit of inventiveness. Overt attempts to sweep her off her feet would, no doubt, be met with dismay. That left subtlety, something the Davis men were not known for. He’d inherited his father’s inclination to go after what he wanted, no holds barred. Restraining that impulse was going to be tricky, but he could do it. He had to. The stakes were too high to risk losing.

  As promised, he arrived at Cassie’s promptly at three to drive her to Karen’s. He came with a new computer game for Jake, flowers for Mrs. Collins and nothing at all for Cassie. A faint flicker of disappointment in her eyes was his reward. Next time he knew she wouldn’t be so quick to turn down whatever token offering he brought for her.

  Meantime, Jake was staring at the computer game with a mix of excitement and unmistakable frustration that Cole couldn’t quite interpret.

  “Anything wrong, pal? I thought you’d like that game. It’s just hit the market. You don’t have it, do you?”

  Jake shook his head. “It’s great, but…” He shot a condemning look at his mother, then muttered, “I don’t have a computer. Mom won’t get me one, especially after what happened where we used to live.”

  “Jake Collins, don’t you dare imply that I refused to buy you a computer out of spite or something,” Cassie said. “You know perfectly well it’s not some sort of punishment. We simply can’t afford one, though I have to admit you didn’t display any evidence that you can use one responsibly.”

  Cole was about to speak, but one look at her face kept him silent. If he made an offer to buy the computer, it was evident she wouldn’t appreciate it. Besides, he understood why she might be reluctant for the boy to have a computer after the trouble he’d gotten into on the Internet.

  “Maybe we can think about getting a computer for Christmas,” Mrs. Collins said.

  “But that’s months and months away,” Jake protested. “This game is so cool. I want to play it now.”

  Cole locked gazes with Cassie. “How about if I loan you an old computer I have at the house for now? We can leave off the modem so there will be no Internet hookup.”

  “I don’t know,” she said, clearly hesitant.

  “Mom, please,” Jake pleaded.

  “It’s just a loan,” Cole insisted. “And it’s just gathering dust out at the ranch.”

  She sighed. “Okay, if you’re sure you have it to spare. And definitely no modem.”

  Little did she know that he had half a dozen tucked away, thanks to the rapidly changing technology and his own need to be on the cutt
ing edge of the industry. He could have supplied her with one that was state of the art without batting an eye, but he resolved to provide an older model that wouldn’t get her dander up.

  “No Internet,” Cassie said pointedly. “Understood?”

  Jake sighed heavily. “Okay.”

  Cole gave the boy’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll bring it by tomorrow, Jake. How will that be?”

  “All right,” the boy said eagerly. “And you’ll show me how to write a program?”

  “Sure, if you want to learn,” he said, then cautioned, “It’s a lot of work.”

  “That’s okay. Someday I’m going to start my own computer technology company just like you.” He grabbed Cole’s hand. “Come look at my room and we can decide where the computer should go when you bring it.”

  Cole found Jake’s budding case of hero worship touching. After living for the past few years with his own computer-illiterate father, a man who had absolutely no appreciation for his work, it was nice to have someone so eager to understand it and share in it. Jake was a good kid. Cassie had done a terrific job raising him on her own. Cole reminded himself to tell her that.

  But when he tried to bring up the subject on the ride to Karen’s ranch, Cassie’s response was as touchy as always when he mentioned Jake. Cole told himself that her reaction was simply that of an overly protective single mom, but he was having difficulty believing it. Calling her on it would accomplish nothing. He’d already tried that, and she had only become more defensive.

  Maybe he would ask Mrs. Collins. Her attitude toward him seemed to be mellowing lately. Maybe she would give him a straight answer. If not, he would just have to count on the fact that one of these days, Cassie would trust him enough to be completely honest with him. By nature, she wasn’t a secretive person.

  At least she hadn’t been ten years ago, he reminded himself. Ten years was a long time, especially when most of that time she had been raising a child on her own. The truth was, he had no idea how Cassie might have changed. He just knew that plenty of things about her were the same, enough to fascinate him all over again.

  He glanced at her, distressed to see that she was staring out the window with a distant, sad expression on her face. Maybe she was merely thinking about her friend’s loss, but he doubted it. He had caught that same expression even before Caleb’s death. Something—or someone—had stolen her youthful vibrancy and optimism, and Cole wouldn’t rest until he knew how that had happened.

  Over the next few weeks Cassie lived in terror that Cole was going to learn the truth. It had become evident that he suspected that she was keeping something from him. And he also seemed to sense that it had to do with Jake. When he’d first tried to pin her down about her reasons for wanting to keep them apart, pure panic had washed through her. She’d had to force herself to calm down and respond as if her behavior was merely the reaction of a single mom.

  She had thought at the time that Cole had bought her explanation about not allowing Jake to start counting on anyone who wasn’t likely to be around permanently. She’d also tried to be less overt about keeping the two of them apart, finding legitimate excuses to get Jake out of the house whenever Cole was likely to stop by. She’d been pleased by her success.

  But then Cole had brought over that blasted computer, and it was clear that he intended to stick around and teach Jake to use it. When she’d tried to protest, the look he’d given her told her that nothing she said was going to be convincing. He was on to her, and sooner or later he was going to demand answers.

  If her own determination to keep silent were the only thing at issue, she was sure the secret of Jake’s paternity would be safe enough, but there was Frank Davis to consider. She didn’t trust Cole’s father not to tell him everything. It had been evident during their confrontation that he wanted, in fact expected, Cole to claim Jake as the Davis heir. She doubted he would patiently wait forever for that to happen.

  As it had ever since her return home, the debate over what to do raged in her head, setting off yet another dull, throbbing headache.

  “Cassie, are you okay?” her mother asked weakly.

  She forced a smile and turned back to the bed where her mother was resting after her first radiation treatment. The trip to Denver was more tiring for her than the treatment itself.

  “I’m fine,” Cassie fibbed.

  “You’re worried about the amount of time Jake and Cole are spending together, aren’t you?”

  “I’ve done everything I can to keep them apart,” she admitted. “I don’t know what else to do, short of telling Cole the truth.”

  “Why not do that?” she said. “Face it, Cassie. He’s going to figure it out sooner or later. Wouldn’t it be better if the truth came from you?”

  Cassie knew her mother was right, but she simply hadn’t been able to work up the courage to say the words. “I don’t know how to tell him, not after all this time.”

  “Would you like me to do it?”

  She shook her head. “No, I have to be the one.” She faced her mother, grateful for this opening. “There’s something I don’t understand.”

  “What?”

  “Why are you and Frank Davis both so eager for the truth to come out, when years ago you couldn’t wait to break us up?”

  What little color there had been in her mother’s cheeks faded. “Why…” she began, but her voice faltered. “Why would you say something like that?”

  “I know, Mom. Mr. Davis told me all about the letter you kept from me, the one in which Cole explained why he had to leave. He also told me about the letter you wrote to Cole telling him I didn’t want him in my life anymore.”

  Tears tracked down her mother’s cheeks. She reached for Cassie’s hand. Her frail grasp was icy cold. “I’m sorry. We thought it was for the best.”

  “You mean Mr. Davis thought it was best.”

  “No,” her mother said sharply. “We agreed. You were both too young.”

  “But I was having a baby, and you’ve already admitted that you knew it was Cole’s. Things might have been so different.”

  “No,” her mother said just as adamantly. “Nothing would have been any different. Frank would never have approved of a marriage between the two of you. He would have found a way to stop it. Once I knew about the baby, I told him—in fact, I begged him—to let you and Cole work it out, but he refused. I would have gone to Cole myself, but I didn’t know where he was. Frank gave me the money for your medical expenses. He promised me more if I let things be, but I never took another dime.”

  She squeezed Cassie’s hand. “Not another dime,” she repeated.

  “Oh, Mom,” Cassie whispered wearily. “You should have gone ahead and taken the money. The damage was done.”

  “I couldn’t. I already felt guilty enough. I could barely look you in the face. When Jake was born, I thought of all we could have done for him with that money, but by then it was too late. And that wasn’t the worst of it. When Cole came by here to visit, to ask after you, I slammed the door on him. I couldn’t bear to face him after what I’d done to keep you apart, to keep him from his own son.”

  Her mother sighed. “I shudder to think what would have happened to me if he knew all of that. He certainly wouldn’t have offered to pay my medical expenses.”

  “Yes he would,” Cassie reassured her. “And he does know, because I told him that much at least. I told him about the letters.”

  “When?”

  “A few weeks ago, right after your surgery.”

  “And he never said a word,” her mother said, looking amazed. “And all this time he’s been paying for my radiation treatments and taking me to Denver.”

  Cassie nodded.

  “That should tell you something, then.”

  “What?”

  “If he can forgive me, then surely he’ll be able to forgive you.”

  Cassie wanted desperately to believe that, but what she had done wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same thing at all. S
he had once professed to love Cole, and yet she had kept their child a secret from him…and was continuing to do so.

  Despite all of Cassie’s warnings and her threats of dire punishments, she knew that Jake was still trying to come up with ways to sneak off to the Davis ranch. Maybe it was simply the lure of the forbidden. More likely it was hero worship.

  So far she’d caught Jake half a dozen times on the outskirts of town, riding the bike he’d repaired. At this rate the boy was going to be grounded until he hit thirty. It didn’t seem to faze him, though. He simply tried a more inventive approach the next time.

  As if that weren’t nerve-racking enough, since Jake wasn’t going to him, Cole continued to stop by her house unannounced, bringing thoughtful treats for her mother and disconcerting kisses for her. She hadn’t figured out a way to get the man to keep his hands and his mouth to himself. He had history on his side. She hadn’t been able to do it ten years ago, either.

  She had just kicked off her shoes and propped her feet on the porch railing, when Cole’s car turned into the driveway. He emerged in a pair of faded jeans that hugged his hips, and a T-shirt that stretched taut over his broad shoulders. It was hard to imagine that this was the same man whose computer company had just reported earnings in the millions. She sighed when she thought about it. If they had been a lousy match ten years ago, there was an even greater divide between them now. He was a college-educated business whiz. She was a waitress with a high school diploma.

  “Why are you here?” she inquired testily.

  Undaunted by her attitude, he shot her a grin. “To improve your mood, for starters.”

  “Exactly how are you planning to do that?” she inquired warily.

  “I’m going to take you away from all this. Get your bathing suit.”

  “Why?”

  “This is an impulsive moment, darlin’. Stop asking so many questions. I never used to have to work so hard to persuade you to come with me. I seem to recall a time when you couldn’t wait to sneak off to be alone with me.”

  “I’m older and wiser now.”

  “More’s the pity.” He nudged her bare, aching feet off the railing. “Get a move on.”