Never Gonna Tell

by Sarah M. Ross

  Charlie and I smile at each other, exchanging high fives at the good news before turning back to listen further.

  “What’s the easiest way to get up there?” Mom asks the ranger.

  “We’ll need to travel by ATV. Is your daughter up for that?”

  I can’t stay in the car any longer, pushing the door open and sliding out. “Yes, I’m up for it.”

  Mom doesn’t look so sure. “I don’t know. Maybe you ought to stay here at the station. We can radio you with any information, and you can tell us what you remember and if we’re close.”

  I shake my head. “No way. I’m going with you.” I turn to the ranger. “How much further up the mountain do we need to go?”

  Norman takes off his hat and scratches his head. “It’s not far, probably only about six miles or so, but it’s isolated. The trek will be difficult since there are so few roads up there.”

  “I’m up to it,” I insist, hoping my bravado is convincing to everyone. “Besides, I’m positive that there is a dirt road leading to the cabin where I was held, so as long as we stay on roads I’ll be able to recognize it when I see it.”

  “Well, all right.” Norman smiles, looking at my parents for confirmation. “Let’s get started.”

  We take three ATVs. I ride behind the ranger in the lead vehicle, followed by my dad and Charlie on a second while my mom and Detective Rathborne pull up the rear in a custom “search and rescue” ATV complete with a rescue stretcher, portable oxygen, IV kit and fluids, and other medical devices. I pray we’ll need these instead of a phone to call the coroner’s office.

  The ride is hard, and even though he’s taking it slow I’m still clinging to the ranger and most likely leaving him with bruises as we bounce around.

  “You okay back there? Need me to slow down?”

  “No, keep going.” I insist, gritting my teeth against the pain of my broken ribs being jolted around. Where’s a morphine drip when you need one?

  “We’re less than a mile from the coordinates where you were found,” he explains. “So let me know if you start to recognize anything.”

  I scan the area, searching for anything familiar but all the trees look the same. Nothing is standing out. I focus on every little detail: a broken twig, a moss-covered rock, even the way the leaves have fallen. Nothing looks even remotely familiar. I am so mad at myself for not paying better attention when I was fleeing. I was so concerned with not getting caught that I never bothered to think about needing to know where to send help for Marco. And now, nothing.

  The ranger slows, the ATV idling. “Anything look familiar yet?”

  I ball my fists, my fingernails biting into my palms. I’m such an idiot! So stupid. I was so sure I could do this. “Nothing.” My voice quivers and I want to cry. “It all looks the same. I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.”

  The others pull up beside us, cutting the engines. Charlie takes one look at my face and offers me a half-smile. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not like there’s street signs up here, Rea.”

  “I know. I just thought that if I came up here it would all come back to me.” I arch my head up, staring at the sky. The sounds of nature surround us. A squirrel scurries along the ground, rustling leaves. Several birds are chirping in a nearby tree. At least someone is happy today. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot something that jogs my memory.

  “Hey, Marshall. Are there a lot of those trees around?”

  He looks in the direction I’m pointing. “Which tree?”

  “There.” I point. “The purple ones to your left. I remember seeing purple leaves when I was trying to figure out which direction I was going based on where the sun was in the sky. It stuck out in my head because you don’t see a lot of leaves that color. Usually they turn red or yellow.”

  Marshall shades his eyes with his hand as he checks out the trees. “That’s a Crimson King Maple,” he explains. “They’re not even native to this part of the country, so to answer your question no, there aren’t a lot of those trees around.”

  I want to jump for joy. We’re close! I close my eyes, remembering as many details from my getaway as possible. “Okay, so I remember that the trees were to my left as I was running, so now they need to be on our right.” I whip my head around my eyes scouring every inch. “Take that path there. It’s got to be that one.”

  Everyone jumps back on the ATVs, spirits revitalized with my revelation and none more than mine. Marshall revs the engine once more and we take off. I’m riding on so much adrenaline my blood is practically Red Bull. My eyes never stop scanning, searching for any sliver of a clue when suddenly I spot…“THERE! It’s there!”

  Marshall cuts the choke, gliding us to a stop. He helps me off carefully as everyone catches up behind us. “Look, there’s the roof. I can see the cabin. We need to get up there now!”

  Detective Rathborne pulls out his sidearm from the holster and cocks it, loading a bullet into the chamber. The ranger pulls out his own shotgun.

  “Ranger, I’ll head up first. You stay here to protect these folks.” He turns to us. “I’m gonna need you folks to stay back and absolutely quiet until I can clear the area. I highly doubt he stuck around, but if Nicky Calotta is still up there, he will most certainly be armed.”

  Being so close to rescuing Marco and having to wait even a few minutes longer makes me want to pull my hair out with frustration, but I understand his need for caution. I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous Nicky can be, and I don’t want to be face to face with him again until he’s safely behind bars.

  The ranger hands Detective Rathborne a walkie talkie before cocking his gun, puffing his chest a little and squaring his jaw. The detective takes off toward the cabin. From where we’re waiting, there’s no way to see through the woods what’s happening. The only thing we can do now is wait.

  My leg bounces up and down involuntarily as I stare at the walkie talkie, willing it to come to life with word on Marco. No one is talking, everyone’s eyes trained on the path ahead. I’m pretty sure if I yelled “Boo,” they’d all jump four feet in the air with how intense things are right now.

  Abruptly, the radio flickers to life; a staticky voice speaks on the other end. “All clear. No sign of Nicky. He must have fled.”

  “Copy that,” the ranger replies.

  I grab the radio from him. “What about Marco? Is he there? Is he okay?”

  My eyes are glued to the little black box, practically begging it to answer. After several long moments it flickers back on. “We’re going to need the medical examiner’s office up here. I’m counting at least three bodies. No signs of survivors. I’m sorry, Reagan.”

  MY BODY CRUMBLES to the ground as everything around me blurs out of focus, grief overtaking my senses. I stop listening. I stop seeing. I stop feeling. People are talking and moving around me, but I can’t bring myself to pay them any mind.

  After everything that Marco did for me, after everything he risked, I wasn’t able to do the same for him. I couldn’t save him. Guilt racks my body and tightens my chest, making it hard to breathe. I don’t fight the pain it brings. I deserve it.

  Through the haze, a voice calls out to me, but I can’t bring myself to focus on what they’re saying. My knees buckle, and I sink farther until I’m lying on the damp, cold ground. A twig pokes me in the back, but I don’t move it away.

  “Reagan! Sit up and listen to me!”

  Ugh. I don’t want to. Nothing they have to say can bring Marco back. I just want some time to wallow here on the ground. Is that too much to ask?

  “Reagan Margaret, snap out of it!” Charlie demands shaking my shoulders. His hands slide up to cup my face, forcing me to look him in the eye. I blink, tears falling away. “Listen to me, Reagan. They found him. He’s alive. Barely, but he’s alive.”

  I blink, my brows furrowing, unsure I’m hearing him correctly. “Alive?”

  Charlie lets go of my face, rocking back slightly. “Yes. That’s what I’ve been trying to
tell you. Detective Rathborne found him. He was hidden in a closet in some sort of makeshift bed. That’s how they missed him at first. There were boxes and blankets piled around him. He’s got a pretty gnarly head wound and he’s got a bunch of bruises on his torso that the ranger thinks might be internal bleeding, but someone wrapped his wounds and he had some pills next to him. Those must have helped keep him alive. They’re strapping him to the rescue stretcher now so we can bring him back down to the ranger station. The detective has already called ahead for a helicopter to Life-Flight him to the hospital.”

  I scramble to my feet, slipping on a few wet leaves and wincing at the jarring movement. “Oh my God. He’s alive? Really?”

  Charlie nods. He makes a vain attempt to shake off the dirt that’s now caked on his knees and points toward the cabin. “What are you waiting for, girl?”

  His words spur me into action. I rush toward the ranger and detective to where they’re kneeling by the ATVs, ignoring the pain shooting through my body. “Marco!” Dried blood is caked on Marco’s face, his eyes swollen and face battered. His shirt is torn and deep purple bruises cover his stomach and chest. Reaching out, I grab his limp hand, squeezing it tight in my own.

  “You’re going to be okay, Marco.” I lean in, whispering in his ear. “Just hang on. Be the fighter I know you are.”

  “We need to go now, Reagan,” the detective announces as he tightens the final safety clip. “Let’s go, people. We don’t have time to waste.”

  I peel my eyes away from Marco. “And his dad?”

  The detective lowers his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  My eyes slide shut as I sigh. “Me, too.” My attention returns to Marco. I squeeze his hand one final time as I bend and kiss his forehead. “Fight.”

  His fingers tighten on mine. The movement is barely discernable, but it’s there. He hears me. My heart swells, and I tighten my grip before he’s pulled away by the ranger and detective as they load him onto the back of the rescue ATV.

  The trek back to the ranger station seems to take three times longer than the trip up. I can’t stop glancing behind me, checking on Marco as we traverse over bumps and around obstacles, fearful that he’ll get further injured or worse—fall off and roll down the hill or something. I know I’m being silly, but I thought I lost him already, and I refuse to let it happen again.

  The whirl of a helicopter above lets me know we’re getting close. The treetops sway as the blades hover above, my hair whipping around my face. Several police cars have already arrived at the ranger station, the lights on their patrol cars visible through the trees. I guess it was inevitable with so many casualties, but as we approach I still glare at each of them long and hard, like I’ll somehow be able to know who the mole in the department is if I stare hard enough. It’s more important than ever to find the mole now. I can’t risk them running back to tell Nicky that Marco is still alive.

  There’s a flurry of action as we finally stop. EMS workers and flight nurses rush to Marco while several police officers are pulling out maps and getting details from Detective Rathborne. Mom is already on the phone with someone discussing warrants. I ignore all of them and hobble over to the helicopter where the paramedics are loading Marco, holding my sore ribs.

  “I’m coming with him.” I reach my hand forward, grabbing the rail and pulling myself up into the helicopter with an oomph. The adrenaline that once churned through my bloodstream is now down to a trickle, and my body is reminding me just how sore it is. My entire body aches like I simultaneously ran a marathon while going three rounds with a UFC fighter. I haven’t done a great job of “taking it easy” like I promised.

  “Charlie and I will follow in the car.” Dad hands me a helmet before kissing my forehead. “They’ll take good care of him, Reagan. The best thing you can do now is just be there for him.”

  I lean into him, the smell of his musky cologne comforting. “Thank you, Daddy. For everything.”

  He nods and backs away as one of the flight nurses starts to close the door.

  “Are you family?” a paramedic asks me, starting an IV in Marco’s arm.

  Realization hits with his words. “He doesn’t have much family left, no one close, anyway. I don’t want him to be alone when he wakes up.” When. Not if. He will wake up.

  The helicopter pilot turns his attentions to me. “You don’t look so hot yourself there, miss.” He pauses before closing the door and feels my forehead, taking my pulse with the other hand.

  I shake my head. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Just make sure he’ll be okay.”

  “Elias here is doing just that,” the pilot assures me, flipping switches from the cockpit and strapping himself in.

  Before I can even ask how long before we get to the hospital, the pilot pulls up on the joystick, and we’re airborne. My stomach knots as I watch the ground shrink below us. I need a distraction before I throw up all over the place. I turn to the flight nurse, Elias, and smile.

  He never stops what he’s doing and begins asking me questions. “Do you know what happened? The doctors will want as many details as possible to properly treat him.”

  I hesitate. I don’t really want to remember details from the worst day of my life, but if it’ll help Marco I’ll reenact the whole thing with a PowerPoint presentation and make a diorama depicting the scene. “We were in a car accident. Well, I guess it can’t really be called an accident if someone runs you off the road. Our car flipped at least once. Maybe twice. We fell down an embankment before landing upside down.” I pause, shuddering as the details come flooding back. “I’m sorry, I can’t remember much more. I passed out. I don’t believe he sustained any new injuries while he was held in that cabin.”

  Elias nods. “That’s okay. How long ago was the car accident?”

  “That was almost five days ago and he never received medical attention.”

  His eyes widen, shocked as he takes in my injuries with a knowing look. “Wait. You were in the accident with him?”

  “Yes, but I escaped mostly unscathed.”

  He offers a half-smile. “Lucky girl.”

  I look down at Marco. “Only because of him.”

  The rest of the flight to the hospital is quiet. Elias is focused on tending Marco and pays no mind to me. The white noise of the helicopter’s blades moving through the air is hypnotic. My eyelids are heavy, and I struggle to keep them open. Truth be told, I’m exhausted and just want to curl up on the stretcher with Marco and sleep for a year with him holding me in his arms.

  Somewhere along the lines, I lose the battle. My eyes drift shut, and I must have dozed off because the next thing I know we’re coming to a stop, and there are doctors everywhere, bustling around as Marco is pulled from the helicopter and rushed into the emergency room.

  The pilot hangs back. “I think you should get checked out, too. You’re not looking so hot.”

  I want to protest, but I’m utterly exhausted, beyond sore, and know he’s right. It’s hard to breathe again and I’m afraid I may have done even more damage to my newly healed lung. I nod and allow him to place me in a wheelchair. “My dad should be in the car right behind us and will be here soon. Can you tell him where I am when he arrives?”

  “You got it.”

  He wheels me into the emergency room, pausing at the nurses’ station to see where he should put me. There’re several people gathered in one room, all yelling directions and rushing around. A nurse pulls the curtain closed, cutting off my view, but I’m pretty sure it’s Marco.

  “Can I stay next door to him? I want to be close by in case he wakes up,” I tell the nurse. “He will wake up, won’t he?”

  Her smile is kind as she brushes the stray hair out of my eyes. “We’re taking very good care of him. I heard about his father. Poor thing.” I simply nod as she wheels me into the adjoining room and shuts the door behind her, handing me a gown to change into. I slip out of my jeans and tee shirt before donning the awful gown and crawling into the bed. The n
urse rolls my sleeve up, tapping on the taut skin of my arm to try to find a vein. “Does he have any other family in the area?”

  I wince as a needle pierces my already bruised skin. “His great aunt lives nearby and his grandfather isn’t too far away, but I don’t know how to contact him.”

  “What about his mother?” She places a blood pressure cuff on the opposite arm.

  I wait for it to finish squeezing my arm before responding. “She’s not in the picture.”

  She gives a sympathetic nod as she sticks a thermometer in my mouth. “Your temperature is back up, and the cut on your arm doesn’t look so good. You may have contracted an infection. I’m going to have the doctor order some antibiotics. You need to rest now and let your body heal.”

  Not giving me a chance to argue, she lowers the bed to a laying position and turns off the florescent light above my head. I lean up on my elbows, my lids drooping. “Will you let me know if Marco wakes up? I don’t want him to be alone.”

  “The doctors are working on him. He’ll most likely need to be taken to radiology and will be out of it for a while. There’s nothing you can do right now, so just rest. I’ll keep your family abreast of any updates on his condition once they arrive, but you, missy, need to sleep. The faster you heal, the faster you can get out of here.” She gives me the “mom” glare. I relent and lay my head back down.

  My eyes shut even before my head hits the pillow.

  When I finally open my eyes again, I don’t know how much time has passed. The lights in the room are still dimmed, but the glow from Charlie’s cell phone fills the room with just enough light for me to see. His face glows as he stares down at the screen.

  My mouth is dry and in desperate need of water. I clear my throat, catching Charlie’s attention. “How long was I out?”

  Charlie sets his cell phone on his lap. “Hey! How are you feeling?”