Star Sullivan

by Binchy, Maeve

  Star’s dad did not agree. Owen Hale was a decent skin, glad to buy a pint and talk up a race; the young one – the friend of the family with the big chest – was a fine looker; and the boy was only a kid and at least he had a smile on him, which was more than you could say for Kevin.

  Kevin didn’t notice the Hale family much, because he had too much to think about. The hotel manager had told him that he was to think of himself as a hotel porter with duties in the fitness centre, nothing more, nothing less. He could take it or leave it. There were a lot of Eastern Europeans who would die for the job and have a smile on their faces.

  It worried Star to see her brother so upset. She asked her two friends, Miss Casey at school and Miss Mack over at number 3, what they thought about it all. These were women who could keep secrets. They both said that Kevin shouldn’t give up the day job, but he could always look around for jobs in gyms and spas at the same time.

  Lilly didn’t really notice the Hale family either. She was beside herself because she said that rolls of fat had appeared around her ribs. Star couldn’t see them or feel them, and she knew that Lilly was vomiting every day to get rid of the food that their mother made her eat.

  Michael was in a world of his own as he needed to find somewhere to hide boxes of CDs and DVDs very quickly. He knew he could tell Star about it as she wouldn’t inform on him. Not that she was any help. She just sat there listening to him. Her mind miles away.

  ‘Oh, go on, Star, say something. What do you think?’ Michael asked.

  Star hadn’t been listening.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’

  ‘I was thinking about Laddy Hale next door,’ she said without meaning to.

  Michael smiled slowly. ‘That’s not a bad idea. I’m sure he’d help,’ he said, and was gone before Star could stop him.

  She watched in horror from the upstairs window as she saw her brother make shapes with his hands, showing the size of the boxes. Laddy seemed to be nodding and agreeing. Then she saw Michael rush back home and collect four huge boxes, which he and Laddy carried into the Hales’ shed.

  Star was torn by this. It was good that Laddy had formed some kind of bond with her brother, true. That brought them all closer together. But it was bad if Laddy was prepared so easily to handle stolen goods. Very bad.

  The very next day the police came around, acting, they said, on information received. They had a warrant to search number 24 Chestnut Street for stolen CDs and DVDs.

  They found nothing.

  Laddy was in his garden cleaning his racing bike as they left. He raised his head to look as any interested neighbour might. Star bit her lip as she watched.

  Michael was outraged. ‘How dare they come and hassle us like this? It’s just a case of giving a dog a bad name, isn’t it, Mam? Isn’t it, Dad?’ His parents shook their heads, dazed with relief that this time, at any rate, Michael had not been at the centre of some crime.

  Only Star knew where the stuff was hidden. She tried to put it out of her mind but she had not reckoned on Michael. Michael now thought of Laddy as his partner in crime.

  ‘He’s an all right fellow, that Laddy,’ Michael said. He said this often and for no reason.

  ‘What does he actually do for a living?’ Star’s mother would ask.

  ‘A bit of this and a bit of that,’ Star heard herself saying.

  ‘Exactly.’ Michael looked at her with approval.

  Star asked her mother to get any nice shampoo that might be going cheap at the supermarket. Molly was surprised. Unlike the rest of her family Star never asked for anything.

  ‘Something that would make my hair less like a brown mouse,’ Star suggested.

  ‘You have lovely hair, Star. Real chestnut colour,’ her mother replied.

  ‘Whatever,’ Star said, not believing it for a moment.

  And then Star bought a skinny, tight red top with her pocket money. Usually she bought treats for Kylie, the cat at number 20, or chocolate biscuits for Miss Mack at number 3. This was not her usual spending pattern.

  And then Molly saw Star looking at the boy next door. And understood everything.

  There had been no serious Young Love in the Sullivan family before this. Kevin was too busy thinking about his career to have time for more than casual girlfriends. Lilly had no time for fellows, what with work and studying the way models walked and watching every single thing she put into her mouth. It was just as well that young Michael didn’t seem to be involved with girls, he had caused so much trouble in everything else he had done.

  So it was Star, the baby, who was the first to fall in love. Molly wished it had been with someone younger and less racy than Laddy Hale. And someone more likely to love Star in return. Star was lovely but she was a child, and even Molly would admit that she was a bit unworldly. This boy was handsome, but quick and sharp, too quick for little Star.

  So the girl’s heart would likely be broken, but then Molly knew that happened to everyone somewhere along the line. Either very quickly at the start, or slowly over the years. That was what Shay had done to her. She had hoped for such a different life than the one they had now. If she had known that Shay would never hold down a decent job and that she would have to support the family by working in a supermarket all her life, she might have had second thoughts about marrying him. Still her shift was just about to start, so she could spend no more time worrying about it.

  Star tried to get to know Biddy as a way into the family. It wasn’t easy. Biddy wasn’t a person who got to know her neighbours. Star told her about Miss Mack and how she had gone blind.

  ‘Really?’ was all that Biddy said.

  So Star moved on to happier stories . . . To Agnes the fortune-teller, who lived in number 26 together with Melly, and about Bucket Maguire, the window cleaner in number 11 who was so nice to everyone and cleaned Miss Mack’s windows for her for free, even though she couldn’t see out of them.

  ‘You know everyone in the road,’ Biddy said.

  ‘Well, I was born here so I’ve been here for ages. It’s different for you, you’ll get to know them.’ Star didn’t want to accept too much praise.

  ‘And every little thing about their business to talk and gossip about, too,’ Biddy said.

  Now Star knew that it wasn’t really praise. Her face got very red.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I thought you’d be interested since you’ve come to live here, I suppose.’

  Biddy looked hard at her. The girl meant no harm. ‘Sure I am. Thanks, Star. You’re OK,’ she said. And Star smiled.

  Michael said that Laddy was great, and that he knew everyone in town. The family jumped on him with questions about Laddy.

  Lilly said she was sure he only knew criminals and wide boys – was that the case?

  Kevin asked, did he know anyone selling sports equipment?

  Star asked, had he a girlfriend?

  But Michael knew no answers to all these questions.

  Molly went on doing the ironing and said nothing.

  Shay said nothing because he wasn’t in the conversation. He was taking notes on what would be the bet of all time. It was just a matter of getting the stake. The money to invest.

  Miss Casey told them she was leaving at the end of the term.

  Star was upset. ‘I thought you would be here for ever, Miss Casey,’ she said.

  ‘I know, that was the way it was starting to look,’ Miss Casey agreed.

  ‘Where are you going?’

  Star was the only child who cared. The others were more interested in who would come after her. Would it be someone strict or someone easy?

  So Miss Casey told her. She was going to live in Spain with a gentleman she had met. She would work in his café and sell jewellery with him.

  ‘Oh, Miss Casey, isn’t that wonderful? You’re getting married,’ Star said, her eyes shining at the romance of it all.

  ‘Not exactly married, Star, but the next best thing,’ Miss Casey said.

  ‘Can I wr
ite to you there, Miss Casey?’

  Miss Casey did not reply but there was a look in her eyes that Star had seen before in people. Somehow in some way she had gone too far, asked too much.

  And Star knew that she shouldn’t tell anyone about the teacher’s plans. But oddly she told Laddy Hale a few weeks later. He was polishing his bike in the front garden as usual.

  ‘It’s very clean already,’ Star said, admiring it.

  ‘It’s not about getting it clean, it’s about having it shining,’ Laddy said. ‘There’s a race at the weekend.’

  ‘Do they give you extra marks for a shining bike?’ Star asked.

  ‘No, Star, they don’t.’ He was short with her.

  So she decided to change the subject, tell him something interesting. ‘Miss Casey from school is going to Spain to run a café and sell jewellery,’ she blurted out.

  Laddy stopped polishing for a moment. ‘Babe Casey is really jumping ship?’

  ‘Do you know her?’ she asked.

  ‘Everyone knows Babe, she’s a teacher, hangs round with Watches O’Brien.’

  ‘What a funny name.’

  ‘Not at all. He sells watches, whatever kind you want – Rolex, Gucci. You know.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Star, who didn’t know.

  ‘So poor old Watches has gone to Spain? And the Babe is going after him to set up a little home? That’s funny.’

  ‘They’re not going to get married, but as good as,’ Star explained.

  ‘Yeah, that’s for sure, Mrs Watches wouldn’t like it if she thought he was getting married.’

  ‘You mean he’s married already?’ Star was shocked.

  ‘Sure, at least once.’ Laddy was unconcerned. He was sitting on the ground beside his bike, head bent over his work.

  ‘Oh, poor Miss Casey. I bet you she doesn’t know.’

  ‘No, pet, she knows, she knows very well,’ Laddy said, without looking up.

  He had called her ‘pet’, he had never done that before. Maybe it was because of her lime-green frilly skirt. They had told her at the market that fellows loved skirts that colour. They might have been right.

  Laddy looked up at her. ‘Believe me, she knows the score about Mrs Watches and the children . . . It’s not something you have to tell Babe. Far from it.’

  ‘Children? He has children? He can’t go off if he has children.’

  ‘He’s gone already.’

  ‘How do you know all this, Laddy?’

  ‘Watches does a bit of business in the pub where Biddy works and Babe comes down there at night to meet him. Then later, they come into a place where I work from time to time, a club sort of place.’

  It was all too much for Star to take in. Miss Casey of all people. Her face showed the shock she felt.

  Laddy got up from his work. ‘I’m getting a beer, will you share it with me?’ he asked.

  Star nodded, unable to speak.

  He brought out a can from the fridge. There were beads of cold water on the outside. He took a swallow and then passed her the can. She drank it nervously and he kissed her on the forehead. Her first kiss and her first alcohol and this terrible news about Miss Casey, all in the same ten minutes.

  ‘Oh, Star, what are we going to do with you? You’re much too good for this world.’ Laddy laughed fondly at her.

  CHAPTER THREE

  THERE WAS A GOING away party for Miss Casey at school. Star was in charge of collecting the money for a gift. Some of the girls wanted to get her a watch, but Star said no, definitely not, she couldn’t explain why but she knew a watch was wrong. So they bought her a digital camera instead. Miss Casey seemed very pleased.

  ‘Will you be teaching somewhere else, Miss Casey?’ the other girls asked.

  ‘Oh very probably, got to keep the wolf from the door,’ Miss Casey said.

  Star looked at the ground.

  At the end of the little ceremony, most of the girls went out into the playground. Miss Casey gathered up all her good luck cards and took down some of her pictures from the classroom wall.

  ‘No card from you, Star?’ Miss Casey said to her quietly.

  ‘I didn’t have the money to buy one, Miss Casey,’ Star lied.

  ‘The other girls gave me home-made cards.’

  ‘I know. Yes.’

  ‘So you are cross with me? You think I should have told them all I was going off to work the beaches in Spain, do you?’

  ‘Why did you tell me then?’ Star asked with spirit.

  ‘Because you are different to all those other girls, they only think about lip gloss and wrist bands and boy bands. You are interested in people and you care about them. You care about your brother’s job, your sister not eating, your father gambling and your other brother ending up in gaol. In fact, there’s a way in which you care too much. So I was stupid enough to think you might care about me and what I was doing.’

  ‘But I do, Miss Casey.’

  ‘No, you don’t, Star, you are sulking and trying to punish me over something. That’s not the action of a friend.’

  ‘Am I your friend, Miss Casey?’

  ‘Of course you are. You know that.’

  ‘I think I’m a bit of a mess, really.’

  ‘No, you’re just kind and want the best for people. It’s not always a wise thing. Most people lead sort of messy lives and you can’t really change them.’

  ‘And, Miss Casey, can friends say anything to each other?’

  ‘Well, mainly they can. You have friends of your own, don’t you, in the class?’

  ‘Not really. Rita a bit, I suppose, but she’s not a real friend. They all think I’m a bit dull, you know.’

  ‘Not dull, it’s just that you think about things a lot. I often wondered what you were thinking about all the time.’

  ‘I think it’s worrying more than thinking, Miss Casey,’ Star said. ‘I worry about everyone. I want everything to be all right for everyone.’

  ‘Oh, it will never be all right for everyone, believe me, Star. And do you worry about me?’

  ‘Yes, Miss Casey. I worry about you because you’re very nice and a great teacher and I see now why there were wars and treaties. Once I thought we just had to learn them, now I see why things happened. And I suppose I don’t want you to go.’

  ‘But it would be all right if I was going to teach at another school, not what I am going to do? Is that it?’

  ‘A bit, yes.’

  ‘Star, you are fourteen years of age, you are almost a woman. You are old enough to know that people fall in love and take risks.’

  ‘But he has a wife and children, Miss Casey.’

  ‘Who has?’

  ‘Mr Watches.’

  ‘Boy, you did your homework. How did you know?’

  ‘Laddy Hale told me.’

  ‘And how do you know Laddy Hale?’

  ‘He lives next door.’

  ‘God, this place is a village,’ Miss Casey said with a great sigh.

  ‘So I was upset,’ Star explained.

  ‘Well, don’t be upset,’ Miss Casey said, with a tight, hard smile. ‘If I were to teach you nothing else in the world except this, remember it. There is no use in God’s earth being upset by the things that other people do, only what you do yourself.’

  And Miss Casey left the room without a goodbye.

  *

  Star tried to obey this rule but it was very hard.

  How could you not be upset when a horse had fallen and Dad had lost all the holiday money that Mam had been saving for a week in a caravan?

  What kind of person would not be upset when Lilly was taken into hospital and they said her eating disorder was very serious, like a form of madness, and that one in four people who had it died from it? Lilly looked awful. She had hair all over her face now and her elbows stuck out like jagged bones.

  And Kevin had a horrible girlfriend called Gemma who was a pain in the face and he was nearly always at her place and hardly ever at home.

  Michael had le
ft school and he was working for Laddy’s father, helping him load plants and deliver them to people’s cars in the gardening centre. Star was very worried because he was wearing a black leather jacket that she knew cost the earth. And no matter how many tips he got from customers, they could not have added up to that jacket.

  And Laddy had a new girlfriend in a short red skirt with long tanned legs. Her name was Topper, which Star thought was very silly. Sometimes she stayed the night in number 23. Imagine! In front of Laddy’s father and Biddy, she would just come out as cool as anything in the morning with a mug of tea and admire Mr Hale’s flowers, and they all thought it was perfectly normal.

  And Star’s mother seemed to be very tired and had twice fallen in dizzy spells at the supermarket.

  And yet Miss Casey had told her that the most important thing in the world was not to worry about other people and get upset. It was getting harder and harder to do.

  Star was not happy at school either. The teacher who had replaced Miss Casey for English and History was much too interested in passing exams and not at all interested in telling them why things happened or what the poet felt when he was talking about his lake, island, the sea or whatever. Instead they just had to learn great chunks of things that the teacher had written about imagery. It was very hard and Star soon fell behind.

  When she was nearly sixteen she decided that there was no point in staying on at school. Mam could get her a job in the supermarket, and she would be bringing in some money, which they badly needed. Kevin didn’t give anything at home. Lilly had left her job, being sick and everything. Michael was on probation now and had been fired from the garden centre where Mr Hale worked. Her father had been having very bad luck on the horses and as a result owed Certain People a lot of money, so even though he worked like a dog his whole wage packet went straight to the Certain People, not to her mam.

  Nobody took much interest in Star leaving school. Nobody except Laddy.

  ‘You’re mad to quit now,’ he said to her, when she told him her news.

  ‘Why? Didn’t you leave school early?’ Star asked.

  ‘Not as early as fifteen, and anyway I regret it. I often think that if my mother had been around I would have stayed on and got a career.’