Undeniable (Key West #4)

by C. A. Harms

  Before I could respond, Callie’s mother bent down and engulfed both Zoey and Matthew in a hug. “I’ll see the both of you later. Remember—” She pulled back, and her face now had a look of excitement. “—tomorrow we’re going to decorate those cookies we made today.”

  Zoey and Matthew lit up with excitement, and I couldn’t hold back my own smile. It was obvious Mallory now held a special place in their hearts. And then it hit me that the more people I allowed into their world, the happier they’d be. I had spent years keeping them to myself, making sure they’d be safe and never have to deal with rejection again after what their father had put them through. But in reality, I had sheltered them from the love they were now embracing.

  I vowed in that moment to never again push away those who cared for us, but to grab on tight and never let them go.

  “If you need anything, call. Don’t hesitate, Jude. Calvin and I are here whenever you need us.” Mallory leaned in and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Don’t be stubborn. Reach out.”

  I nodded as she stepped away and gave me a knowing grin. Callie had obviously talked to her mother about me. “Okay, thank you again.”

  “Anytime.” She tickled Matthew’s side and tapped the end of Zoey’s nose before stepping back and walking toward her SUV.

  “Can we see Mommy now?” Zoey asked. I looked over and found the two of them staring up at me hopefully.

  “Of course, but, um, can we take a little walk first?” I wanted to prepare them in hopes of making things a little easier to handle. I found a bench about ten feet away from the front entrance of the hospital and gathered one child on each side of me.

  “What’s wrong? Is Mommy okay?” Zoey’s sad, worried voice pulled at something deep in my chest. What was the best way to explain to two young children that their mommy wasn’t going to get better? But the last thing I wanted was for them to go upstairs and get scared when they saw Katelynn’s condition. I had to help them understand what they were about to see.

  “Your mommy is still very sick, sweetheart,” I began as I held them close. “Do you remember Charlie, the cat Mrs. Reames had?”

  They nodded, and I continued, carefully weighing out my words. “Remember when he got sick and we had to take him to the vet?”

  “Yes,” Zoey whispered. She stared up at me with a look of fear, and I fucking hated that we had to have this conversation.

  “Do you remember what the doctor said?”

  “Charlie was sick, and the sickness he had was really bad.”

  I rested my hand on Zoey’s shoulders. She was the sweetest little girl and at times the silliest. Yet right now, she seemed so much older than five.

  “You are right.” I kissed the top of her head and took in a deep breath. “I’m gonna take you both upstairs to visit with your mommy, but I need you to know that she is very sick. Last time you came to visit her, she was awake and talking, but this time things are different.”

  “Is Mommy gonna die? Like Charlie?” Matthew asked so innocently.

  A huge lumped formed in the base of my throat, and I felt my chest tighten.

  “Charlie went to heaven. Is that where Mommy is going?” Another innocent question from Matthew only made my already aching chest ache even more.

  “Yeah, buddy,” I whispered, closing my eyes tightly when Zoey began to cry. I lifted her into my lap and held her close to my chest.

  Matthew continued to play with the action figure in his hand, oblivious to just what my words meant. He was still too young to realize what going to heaven truly meant. But Zoey understood. The idea of Katelynn leaving us meant she would no longer be able to hear her mother’s laughter or witness her carefree smile.

  Life was so unfair sometimes, and it broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. A child should never have to go through losing a parent at such a young age.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Callie

  I felt hollow inside. My throat was raw with emotion, yet I fought with everything I had to hold myself together even though that became harder to do with each moment.

  The second Zoey entered the hospital room, she crawled up into bed alongside Katelynn and wrapped her little arm over her waist. Bringing her head to rest on Kate’s chest, Zoey then closed her eyes and remained silent, as if she was solely focused on her mother’s deep, ragged breaths.

  Matthew was so intrigued by the machines and their beeping that he barely noticed Kate’s weak form. Occasionally, he would glance in her direction and look like he was about to say something, but he would then redirect his attention to something else.

  As my gaze settled on Jude, my heart felt as if it cracked within me. He sat at the end of Katelynn’s bed, slouched back in his chair with his left leg crossed over his right at the ankle. His hand partially covered his mouth, and he stared ahead, focused on Zoey and Katelynn. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears, and I wanted nothing more than to hold him and tell him that no matter what happened, everything would be okay, yet I knew things would never be truly okay. We were losing Katelynn, and the road to healing would be a long and devastating trip.

  The click of the heavy wooden door as it opened caught my attention, and I looked up just as Jett, Quinn, Kade, and Avery entered. Not a day had gone by since Katelynn was admitted without at least one of them stopping by for a visit. Their continued support of Jude was truly amazing.

  “Hey, man,” Jett offered as he reached out and placed his hand on Jude’s shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze, then looked in my direction. “Is there anything I can get you?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

  Matthew ran toward Jett and wrapped his arms around his legs. Almost instantly, Jett bent down and lifted him into his arms. Quinn’s face lit up as she stared at her husband, who was now tickling Matt’s stomach. “How about you, little man? You hungry?”

  “Yes,” Matthew announced.

  Jett looked over at Zoey, who still lay curled at her mother’s side. “Why don’t the four of you take a walk? Maybe go down to the cafeteria and grab something to eat?”

  I knew it was Jett’s way of relieving us. I also thought Jude could use a breather, but it was almost impossible to get him to step away for any period of time. I focused on Jude, waiting for his decision, but he continued to stare ahead with a blank expression.

  “Jude?” I whispered, and my throat burned when his gaze met mine. His eyes were red and so sad. “Let’s go get the kids something to eat,” I pushed, hoping more than anything he’d just give in and come with me.

  He closed his eyes tightly, and for a moment I thought he was getting angry. When he nodded, a huge sense of relief washed over me, and the tension left my body. Jude stood, walked to the side of the bed, and lifted Zoey into his arms. She protested until he whispered something in her ear, which had her then gripping his neck securely. When he walked past Avery and Quinn, I noticed they were both wiping away tears. I took in a deep breath and took Matthew’s tiny hand.

  “Come on, buddy, let’s go feed your tummy.”

  My lower lip vibrated as I followed Jude out of the room, feeling as if the ground was falling away beneath me. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and fall to my knees crying. I wanted to crush something, break it into tiny pieces, and then break it some more, but I knew that would be pointless. Nothing would take away this deep ache inside me.

  ***

  I left the hospital two hours later. With Jett’s help, I was able to get Zoey and Matthew secured in their car seats and home safely. I couldn’t bring myself to leave them, so when we got back to the apartment, we all crawled into Jude’s bed and held each other close. The kids drifted off right away, but I had a hard time falling asleep as I lay in the darkness listening to their soft snoring breaths.

  I don’t know what time it was when I finally fell asleep, but I woke when I heard the click of the front door. There were only two people who had a key to the apartment besides myself—Jude and Mrs. Reames.


  I untangled myself from the two children, carefully slipped from the bed, and made my way toward the living room. As I rounded the corner, I was expecting to find Mrs. Reames but was shocked to see Jude standing at the counter with his back to me.

  “Hey, you,” I said as I stepped up behind him and placed my hand on his back. And in that moment, I knew.

  His body shook as he sobbed and leaned over the countertop, resting his head in his hands as an agonizing sound fell from his lips. Chills covered me, and my stomach felt as if it had hit the floor.

  I rubbed my hand along his shoulder as he continued to shake beneath my fingertips. It felt as if time stood still.

  The continuous slick of the blade on the ceiling fan above our heads and the tick tick tick of the clock on the wall filled the silence.

  “She’s gone,” he whispered so low I almost missed his words. My already-aching heart only ached more. “It’s like she just let go once you all left. Like she was only hanging on to give the kids that last moment with her.” He paused as he stood up and turned to face me. Fresh tears covered his cheeks as his eyes locked on mine. “I sat by her side, holding her hand, as she slowly faded away.” He shook his head as if to clear it of the image. “And when it was over…” He closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head.

  I waited for him to continue.

  “She hadn’t looked that peaceful in such a long time. Like all the pain and suffering she had gone through for years was finally over, and she was free once again.” He was still whispering in a slow, drawn-out tone. “I’m gonna miss her so much, Callie, but she can finally be free.”

  Jude lifted his head and opened his eyes, finally looking back at me. The last few weeks had weighed heavily on him, and the dark circles under his eyes were the proof. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders as he pulled me close. Resting his head against my forehead, he whispered, “I’m so tired.”

  I pulled back, tilted my chin upward, and locked eyes with him. “The kids are in your bed. Go curl up with them.”

  “Only if you come too,” he bargained.

  I only nodded, because I was barely hanging on to my emotions.

  He kissed me softly and then linked his fingers with mine as he led me down the hall toward the bedroom.

  There would be so much to do in the next few days, so many things to finalize, but right now I knew Jude needed a calm moment to reflect.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jude

  It’s been two weeks since I laid my sister to rest. Two weeks since I held Zoey and Matthew in my arms as we said good-bye to their mother. Two weeks since my best friend was finally able to be free.

  I had been in a daze for the first few days, and everything passed by in a blur. I did everything I could to hold it together and stay strong for the kids, but on the third day I broke. I was still apologizing for the fallout.

  Callie witnessed my outburst when I finally couldn’t take the pain anymore and put my fist through the wall, which led to kicking the bookshelf in the hallway over and spilling the books all over the floor. When I saw the horrified look in her eyes, I froze. I knew then that I never wanted to see her looking so scared again. Thank God the kids were with Mallory and Calvin that day, because they didn’t need my shit any more than Callie did. Even though she said she understood, that didn’t mean my actions should be easily forgiven. I was still pissed at myself, especially now that she was still being hesitant around me.

  Over the last two weeks, everyone had been so helpful, offering to watch the kids and fill their days with things that would help keep their little minds busy. No, nothing would ever make them forget their mother, but at least they could begin to heal.

  Tonight I decided it was time for me and Callie to begin to heal. I knew she’d been holding back her own pain for the benefit of the kids and myself. She and Kate had been so close, and I knew Callie’s friendship had meant the world to my sister.

  Jett had insisted I take a couple weeks off from the restaurant, and no matter how much I protested, he wouldn’t give in. I planned to return next week, yet Callie went back three days after the funeral, which just happened to be the day after my anger rush. I tried not to believe it was because she was trying to avoid me.

  I set up a play date for the kids with Mallory, because she truly was like a big kid herself when it came to them. Now I was just waiting patiently for the clock to hit five so I could see Callie. I now had the keys to the newly remodeled and expanded apartment Easton insisted I take as my own. I had not yet stepped foot inside, because honestly, I still felt guilty that Katelynn was not here to see it with me and regretted that I didn’t do better to give her more while she was with us. But I knew I needed to let go of those feelings now.

  I liked to think she was looking down on us smiling, knowing the kids would each have their own room. I knew she would love that more than anything I could have given her.

  When the big hand on the clock settled on the twelve, I sent the message I had already typed out on my phone

  Me: Come over, I have something I want to share with you.

  As the minutes ticked by, I grew anxious wondering if she was purposely ignoring me or if she was still stuck at work. I was just about to call her when I heard a light knock on the door.

  I rushed toward it and didn’t take the time to look through the peephole before I jerked it open and stepped outside. Placing one hand on either side of her face, I kissed her, and she moaned softly as she brought her hands to rest on my forearms. I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers as I took a deep breath. Her warm vanilla scent calmed my nerves almost immediately.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, and I nodded without opening my eyes.

  “I was just worried when you didn’t respond that maybe you were avoiding me,” I confessed as I finally opened my eyes and looked at her. I shrugged as she stared at me questioningly.

  “I was already on my way here,” she said. “I didn’t read your text until I pulled up, but I didn’t see the point in responding when I was only thirty feet away.” Her eyes crinkled at the corners in concern as she continued to stare up at me. “Why would I avoid you?”

  “Because I haven’t been that welcoming lately. I’ve actually been kind of an ass,” I said as I trailed my thumb along the edge of her jaw.

  “I understand your mood,” she assured me, but it didn’t matter.

  “I was hoping you would go look at the apartment with me,” I said as I pulled the key from my back pocket and dangled it at my side. “I’m ready.”

  She smiled as she nodded and tried to back away. Instead of letting her go, I curled my arm around her waist and pulled her near. “I’m ready to move forward with you by my side,” I stated matter-of-factly. “I love you, Callie. I need you to understand that. You’ve been my rock through this entire thing, and without you, I don’t know if I would have made it through.” Her eyes welled up with tears as her lower lip trembled. “You’re the one I want,” I whispered, and she blinked as a tear rolled along her cheek.

  “I love you too,” she said, and the huge weight on my chest lifted. Her words settled all the doubt within me and took away my tension.

  “Let’s go take a look at this place.” I winked and backed her off the step before leading her toward the end of the building to take a look at the apartment I was going to convince her to share with me and the kids. As we stepped up to the front door, I held the key out to her. She smiled brightly as she took it and placed it in the lock. Once she turned the handle and pushed open the door, I reached in and flipped on the light. The fresh-paint scent filled my senses as I scanned the room. Everything was clean and new. The walls were cream-colored, and the entryway floor was covered in tile with a marble pattern.

  I looked over at Callie, who looked mesmerized. I placed my hand on her hip and nudged her forward, and we walked farther inside.

  The kitchen had new cabinets, light fixtures, and appliances, and a larg
e built-in island separated it from the open living room. The place was huge, and the entire lower level was a completely open space. You could stand anywhere and look straight out the back of the living room windows into the backyard.

  Callie walked farther into the place and trailed her hand along the countertop as she took everything in with a bright smile. I knew just by the look on her face that it wouldn’t be hard to convince her to stay.

  “So what do you think?” I asked.

  She looked back over her shoulder and grinned. “It’s amazing. It doesn’t even feel like we’re in the same building as your other apartment.”

  I knew exactly what she meant. I pointed toward the staircase just to the left of the entryway. “Let’s go check out the upstairs.”

  Her face lit up even more as she darted in that direction.

  Just at the top of the stairs was a small landing with a door to the left and another to the right. They led to two bedrooms, one for Zoey and another for Matthew, both equal in size. I knew they would both love having their own space, and suddenly I was excited at the thought of sharing this place with them too. There was also a small bathroom with a tub to the left and a linen closet opposite it.

  Only one door remained straight ahead of us, and I immediately knew it was the bedroom I hoped I would be sharing with Callie. I walked ahead of her and pushed open the door, and the light from outside filled the room. The room was half the size of the lower level, but the back wall was lined with huge windows, making it feel even larger. An arched doorway to the left led to a master bathroom with a bathtub big enough for two.

  Immediately, my mind was filled with images of Callie sitting in there in front of me, her naked back resting against my chest as our bodies glistened with water.

  “This is amazing,” she said as she stepped past me and looked around the room.

  “I’m glad you think so, because I was hoping you would live here with us.” I had planned to ask in a different way, but honestly the moment just felt right.