fOR WHO THE spELL tOLLS

by H. P. Mallory

  I wrapped my arms around her more tightly. “I don’t ever want to lose you again.”

  “You must be strong, Dulcie,” she whispered, her voice suddenly sounding pained.

  I pulled away from her and regarded her in question, not understanding what her words meant. “Strong?” I repeated.

  She simply nodded and dropped her eyes to the grass below our feet. She sat down and patted the grassy spot beside her, asking me to sit next to her. I did and leaned into her when she put her arm around me.

  “Where are we, Mom?” I asked as I allowed my eyes to feast on the cornucopia of beauty that surrounded us. I relished the feel of the cool breeze as it toyed with our hair and stirred up the monotony of the otherwise warm, sunny day.

  My mother’s smile faded slightly. “We’re in a place where time stands still,” she said gently, running her fingers through my hair as she started to hum the melody of “Golden Slumbers” by The Beatles. It was the same song she used to sing to me when she tucked me in at night.

  “Once there was a way, to get back home,” she sang.

  I wanted to close my eyes and succumb to the beautiful tones of her voice. I wanted to return to a time as a child when she rocked me against her and sang this song to banish whatever nightmare had just awoken me. But I couldn’t comprehend her comment that this mountain paradise was somewhere that time stood still. I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

  She pulled me into her embrace again and I rested my head against her chest. I took a deep breath so I could inhale as much of her wonderful “Mom” scent as possible. “Dulcie, it’s not time for you to join me yet.”

  “But I want us to be together again,” I responded, my voice cracking as I gazed up at her. It felt like all the years that separated us were now dissolving into the ether, as if they’d never been. “I’ve missed you so much. Please don’t leave me again.”

  She smiled down at me, her eyes shining with adoration and unshed tears. “We will be reunited again in time, but now isn’t right.” She traced the outline of my face, just like she did when I was a child, upset over something.

  “Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry,” she sang. “And I will sing a lullaby.”

  I closed my eyes, loving the feel of her index finger traveling along my hairline and then dipping down to the bridge of my nose, only to outline my lips. As my mother sang to me, I realized how much pain I’d been storing inside all these years. I’d never dealt with the feelings of abandonment and heartache after my mother was snatched from me. Holding her now, though, somehow wiped all the pain clean away and I could feel nothing but jubilance.

  “You still have a full and rich life to lead, Dulcie,” she whispered. “And as always, I will be by your side and I will continue to watch over you.” She paused for a few seconds, both of us happy to be snuggling against each another. “I am always with you, Dulcie.”

  I opened my eyes and pondered her words as dawning reality began to creep into me. I had to catch my breath as images of a library of ransacked books flashed through my delirious mind. They were replaced by one of my father, standing on the second level of his library, leering down at me. I felt a sharp pain in my lower back as I recalled the event that brought me here, the event that had reunited me with my mother.

  “I died. My father killed me,” I said in a hollow voice. I glanced up at her with shock on my face. “Am I dead now?”

  She shook her head. “You haven’t traveled into the Forever Valley yet, Dulcie,” she said, eyeing the horizon where a forest of trees dominated the landscape.

  “Is that the Forever Valley?” I asked. My eyes followed hers and settled on the trees, which seemed so far off in the distance, yet close enough to travel by foot. It was like an optical illusion.

  She simply nodded. “I’ve come from the Valley to help you get back to where you belong, Dulcie.”

  I sat up and shook my head, suddenly afraid to leave my mother’s side. “But what if I don’t want to go back? What if I want to stay here with you?”

  “We can’t stay here,” she said quickly. “This is simply the land between here and there.”

  “Then take me to the Valley with you.”

  She shook her head, but smiled at me consolingly. “I can’t do that yet, Dulcie.”

  “Why not?” I asked, my tone sounding desperate. “I can’t lose you again, Mom,” I started shaking my head as tears pooled in my eyes. “Please don’t make me go through it again.”

  My mother silenced me by holding her fingers against my mouth. “You never lost me, Dulcie. I am, and will always be with you.”

  But I didn’t want that sort of relationship with my mother. I wanted the relationship that we had right now—a physical one, where I could see and smell her, hug and laugh with her. A relationship where I could talk to her. “I just want us to be together again,” I said, my voice breaking. The tears started pouring from my eyes.

  My mother nodded. “We will be together again, but right now, you still have unfinished business that is calling you back.”

  “Why?” I demanded, suddenly angry. I couldn’t understand how fate would return my mother to me, only to yank her away again. It wasn’t fair.

  “Because he needs you, Dulcie.”

  “He?” I repeated. At my confused expression, she settled her attention on the ground and ran her palm across the grassy earth between her feet. I watched as the ground began to peel apart beneath her hands, leaving a blackness, an inky abyss of nothing. But after a few seconds, the inky blackness began to brighten and colors started to form against the darkness. The colors morphed into objects and people. I realized I was seeing a picture of another place and time. It was almost like watching a movie. I stared at the images unfolding before us and leaned closer, recognizing the scenery.

  It was a library, but the books were strewn across the floor haphazardly, and all the furniture was broken and in disrepair. It looked like the scene after an earthquake, or maybe a burglary. But I didn’t get the feeling that either of those events had taken place here. Instead, my memory flashed images of exactly what happened. I shot my father and believed I’d killed him, but my attempt was unsuccessful. Instead, he managed to survive long enough to fire the bullet that entered my back, the dragon’s blood poisoning me and bringing me here.

  The images playing out on the grass in front of us didn’t focus on my father, though. Instead, they zoomed in on the figure of a gallant, handsome man dressed in black. He leaned over the still figure of a woman lying prostrate on the ground, while her honey-gold hair fanned out behind her head and looked like a halo.

  “Bram,” I whispered as I turned my attention to the woman and recognized her as myself. Icy coldness overtook my entire body and I had to hold back my tears again. I couldn’t help but notice the gold of my blood arcing out beneath me, like a river of molten lava. My gaze moved from the puddle of blood to the paleness of my skin. I was as white as the cottony clouds which dominated the sky in this place where time stood still.

  I watched the vampire drop to his knees as he hovered over my body. Blood dripped from his mouth, trickling down his chin and vanishing into his neckline. It was my Melchior’s blood. Then I remembered how Bram had bitten my father after he’d shot me. Even though I still didn’t know my father’s fate, I was confident that he was dead and it wasn’t just a hunch. It was as if someone inserted the information in my head.

  “Melchior,” I started, turning to face my mother.

  She simply nodded. “He is gone.”

  “Has he gone to the Valley?”

  She shook her head. “He has gone to another place, which we won’t discuss.” Then she simply motioned to the image of the handsome vampire again. I watched as he leaned over and ran his fingers down the woman’s, down my cheek. I could hear him whispering the word, “sweet” as if it were an apology. He shook his head in despondent frustration before leaning over and kissing my forehead.

  “You do not know how much I will mi
ss you, my sweet,” he finished. “May you forever rest in peace, and shine your light wherever you now are. As much as I shall ache from your absence, I also envy you.”

  I glanced at my mother and shook my head, confusion ringing through me. “But you said I wasn’t dead? You said it wasn’t my time to go?”

  She nodded and offered me a reassuring smile. “You were in the throes of death, Dulcie, but as we are now where time stands still, you have been given a gift. Your gift is the ability to make your choice.”

  “To make my choice?” I repeated.

  “Yes, whether you care to return to your own space and time, or prefer to voyage on to the Forever Valley with me.” She took a deep breath and shook her head when I started to open my mouth. “But,” she interrupted, “before you make your decision, you need to see more.” Then she looked back at the images displayed before us and I refocused my attention.

  I watched the gallant vampire as he stood up, averting his eyes from my face. At that moment, the door to the room burst open and a man stood there. His hair was mussed up and his face bore the scars of battle. His clothing was torn, tattered, stained and ripped. He wore a smile of victory, though, as if his bruises and cuts meant little or nothing to him. He seemed to shine from inside out and the smile that beamed from his face made me smile, in turn.

  He was the most stunningly beautiful creature I’d ever seen.

  “Knight,” I whispered, looking up at my mother as the puzzle pieces began to slide into place.

  She faced me and smiled knowingly, with a slight nod. “He needs you, Dulcie.”

  I didn’t respond as I watched the images unfolding against the background of the earth. I watched Knight’s eyes drop to the floor, where he saw my lifeless body. Instantly, the smile vanished from his face. He hesitated in the doorway, his chest expanding and contracting with his labored breathing.

  “Dulcie,” he ground out.

  “I am sorry,” the vampire responded, shaking his head to let it be known that I hadn’t survived my wound.

  A cry of tortured grief came from Knight’s mouth as he ran across the room, throwing himself to the floor. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his embrace, staring at me with eyes that revealed how horrific his loss.

  “There was nothing I could do,” Bram added softly. Sensing the futility of the situation, Bram showed himself out of the room. Knight never took his eyes off mine.

  “Dulcie, no,” he moaned into my hair as he rocked back and forth, holding me against him. My arms hung limply by my sides. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said, shaking his head as he kissed the top of mine. As soon as his lips touched my hair, he buried his face in it and his shoulders began convulsing with sobs. A few moments later, he pulled his face up and strands of my hair stuck to his tear-stained cheeks. “Don’t do this to me!” he railed out, in an angry, pained voice. Looking upward, his expression was enraged and threatening. “Don’t take her from me!”

  Of course there was no response. Dropping his eyes back down to my face, he gingerly placed some strands of my hair behind my ears. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered. When he brought his lips to mine, he kissed me so softly, I could barely feel it.

  With the thought that I had barely felt his kiss, in the here and now, I ran my fingers across my lips and glanced up at my mother in shock. “I felt his kiss,” I said in utter surprise.

  She laughed lightly. “Of course you did. You are still there, Dulcie, but only a very small part of you. Your fight isn’t over but if you decide to return to that space and time, you will have to fight for your life.”

  Instantly, I knew that there was no decision or choice for me to make. Why? Because it had already been made for me. My mother was right—Knight needed me and I needed him. “I have to leave you,” I said softly. My tears choked me as I realized I wouldn’t see my mother again for Hades only knew how long. The very thought tore my heart out and snapped it in two right in front of me.

  “I know,” she said gently, her voice wafting into the breeze as her own eyes filled with tears.

  “I love you, Mom,” I told her as my voice cracked and a deluge of tears flooded my eyes.

  She held me tightly in her arms and we both wept as we hugged one another. Finally, she pulled away from me and rubbed her sleeve against her eyes. “I love you so much, Dulcie,” she said. “And you have no idea how proud I am of you, and everything you have accomplished so far.” She cleared her throat. “Just remember that I’m always here if you need me. You might not be able to see me or hear me, but I’m always with you, right here,” she finished. She leaned over and brushed her hand against my heart.

  I clasped her hand and squeezed it tightly, knowing I couldn’t waste any more time. Now that I’d made my choice, I had to move forward. I had to fight for what was rightfully mine—my life. I now knew that I did have a lot more to do, especially now that my father was out of the picture. A brand new life awaited me just beyond the horizon. Really, a new life awaited all of us. And I didn’t want to miss out on any of it.

  “You need to go to him now, Dulcie,” my mother said with a bittersweet smile. “It’s time for you to leave this place.”

  I nodded as I stood up and beheld my mother one last time before I was shrouded in darkness again, just as I was after my father shot me. My body still felt strangely buoyant as I floated through the darkness. I tried to sort through the blackness to find the way back to myself, and back to Knight.

  As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I saw the tiniest glimmer of light, barely the size of a grain of sand in the distance, far, far away from me.

  Go toward that light, I heard the words but was unsure whether the command issued from my own mind or someone else’s. I forced my arms to swim through the nothingness surrounding me, but it was a difficult chore. I found myself getting nowhere, while the light stayed just as far off as ever.

  I closed my eyes and flapped my arms and legs even harder. I focused only on reaching the goal, placing every ounce of energy in my body toward achieving it. Opening my eyes again, I found my effort was useless. To my horror, I was beginning to float even further away, disappearing further into the ether and nothingness that already had a claim on me.

  “No!” I said out loud. Tightly clenching my eyes shut, I screamed at myself to resist the darkness and find the light.

  My hands flailed as I gritted my teeth and kept swimming through the vacuum surrounding me. Despite being unable to see the light, I imagined it in my mind’s eye and moved stridently toward it. With Herculean effort, it felt like trying to swim through thick sludge. My arms suddenly became incredibly heavy, as if weighed down by anvils, but I still forged my way forward, ignoring my intense exhaustion.

  You are almost there! Hearing my mother’s voice in my head was all it took. I bit my lip as I concentrated solely on reaching the tiny speck of microscopic light. The weights on my arms and legs were now excruciating, but I didn’t care. Throwing whatever strength I still possessed into my fight, I refused to fail. This was a fight I had to win. My entire future depended upon it.

  When I opened my eyes again, I was surrounded by light, just as when I first saw my mother. I blinked and found myself staring up at Knight.

  “Dulcie?” he asked as a tentative smile illuminated his tear-stained face. He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe I was alive, as if he thought he was just imagining me. “Dulce?” he repeated.

  The sudden heaviness I felt gave me cause for pause. It was so different from the buoyancy of my spirit, which I experienced earlier. I was speechless for a few seconds, and could only look up at the Loki I loved with all my being. I smiled.

  “I … I don’t understand how you,” he started, shaking his head as if the reasons really didn’t matter. He pulled me up to him and enveloped me in his large arms. I could hear the acceleration of his heartbeat, and the warmth of his body made me want to close my eyes and just absorb his heat. He pulled away from me, but continued to
hold me in his arms. He just stared down at me as if half expecting me to vanish.

  “I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered, his voice pained and his eyes glassy. “I thought I’d lost you and the agony was so terrible, I didn’t think I could go on.” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to go on without you.”

  “I’m here now,” I managed, still finding it difficult to speak. Tears leaked from my eyes and tickled me as they trailed into my hair.

  He held me to him again and I relished the feel of his soft hair as it brushed my cheeks. I inhaled deeply, feeling suddenly drunk on the scent that was so uniquely his. He pulled away from me and just smiled down at me. “I love you, Dulcie.”

  I felt myself beaming as a bright light just behind Knight’s head arrested my attention. It was maybe the size of a small plate and glowed incredibly brightly before it simply disappeared into nothing.

  Thank you, Mom, I thought to myself before I brought my gaze back to Knight’s stunning sapphire eyes.

  “I love you,” I whispered and then closed my eyes as he kissed my lips.

  FIFTEEN

  Three hours later, I felt a block away from as good as new. Maybe two blocks away. Yes, I was exhausted, mentally and physically, and my lower back ached like an SOB, but at least, I was alive. And being alive made me want to celebrate. As to why I was alive, I had no clue. It wasn’t within the realm of fairy magic to die and see your deceased mother who offers you the chance to live again, then “poof!” you’re alive. I just chalked it up to another of life’s many mysteries, the answer to which I would never know.

  Even now, part of me half wondered if the whole Mom thing was a hallucination, while the other half firmly believed I had a vision of the afterlife. Either way, a sense of bittersweet contentment grew inside me, which wasn’t there before. Whether my mind fabricated her or she actually came to me was beside the point. All that really mattered was that I could finally make peace with my emotions. My former feelings of anger, depression and abandonment at losing my mother were all stripped from me.