Mind Platter

by Najwa Zebian

My Butterfly

  See yourself through the eyes of those who love you. They see all of the goodness in you when you fail to see it. They see the best in you when you see the worst. They are always ready to lift you up even before you fall down. They see every reason why you deserve happiness, love, and joy when you may feel that you're the furthest thing from deserving all of that goodness. Learn to care about those who care about you before you try to make those who don't even notice you turn your way. If you can't see happiness in what you already have, you're fooling yourself if you think that getting what you want will make you happy. If you can't see happiness in the simplest of things, you won't be able to see happiness in what's bigger. If you can't see the beauty of the stars, you may never appreciate the beauty of the moon. Don't associate your happiness with things that you can get. Associate it with what you already have. Life has no guarantees except for what you are living now. So live simply, but don't be afraid to dream. Love consciously. Take care of yourself and those who need your care first. Cherish every moment that you're alive, healthy, and capable of being the person that you are. You are different. You are unique. Unless you truly believe that, happiness will stay that beautiful butterfly that you keep chasing but cannot catch.

  Choose Happiness

  The happiness that your dreams promise you may be right around the corner, but you can reach them only if you're willing to turn the corner. Walk away from your safe place of hopeless uncertainty. Unchain your heart from the uncertainty that's been grounding it to misery. Choose happiness and walk away.

  Imagine

  The reality you live in is partially up to you. The fantasy you live in is entirely up to you.

  Pure

  I've learned to assume good intentions before bad ones, not because I'm naive, but because I'd rather assume good and be wrong than assume bad and be wrong.

  Respect Me

  If you must explain to others why they need to respect you, they better wonder why you respect them in the first place. If they don't think you deserve to be treated with the most basic human value, what makes them think they deserve it?

  Take Care of You

  I had an interesting conversation with a wise old stranger the other day, and she inspired this thought. Take care of yourself for yourself. If you do it for others, you will start to equate your self-worth with theirs. You'll start to equate your happiness with theirs. You'll start seeing yourself through their eyes, and all their eyes can see is what you look like on the outside. They can but don't see your heart, but you can feel your heart. Yet you choose not to acknowledge it. You start to wonder whether they could ever see themselves through your eyes. You'll be disappointed to realize that you were not able to feel that you deserved to be happy because of the uniqueness within you because you chose to tie your happiness to those who couldn't tie their happiness to yours.

  A Fateful Sky

  Never give up on the happiness that your heart deserves. Believe in fate. Believe in its power to lead you to the places where you belong. Believe in its power to make you miss the places you've never been, love the people you haven't met, and cherish the memories you haven't lived yet. You know where you were born, but do you know where your soul will rise from? People oceans away are united by the sky, by the stars that have been wished upon over and over again. Even the moon disappears on us sometimes, but we know it's there. We know it's coming back. We just have to be patient. All we have to do is wait, for the perfect moment is not the one that you plan but the one that happens despite what you have planned.

  The Stars Within

  I've gotten used to telling my secrets to the stars because they understand the language of my heart and mind like no one else does. They never ask questions. They always listen. I believe in them, just as they believe in me. Their beauty never discourages me from dreaming. After all, if I can trust something that distant from me, how can I not trust that I will reach the dreams that may seem too far out of reach? So I started thinking. Why did I choose the stars? Why did I not choose something closer, someone closer? After much thought, I realized that the stars were just an excuse that I used for communication with myself. I taught myself to listen to my own heart and to not make others listen to it before myself. I taught myself to listen to my mind before speaking its deepest thoughts to those around me. I taught myself to understand myself, to coach myself, to motivate myself. I taught myself to be honest with myself before I am honest with anyone else, or else my honesty with others will be a deception to my own self, because who could possibly be more worthy of the truth than myself? I taught myself to respect myself, to respect my path, to respect the freedom I was given the moment I took my first breath on this earth. I made the stars wonder about me just as much as I've wondered about them. I taught myself to see the best in myself, to believe in myself, and to not allow anyone to make me doubt myself. I allowed myself to see happiness in the simplest of things because I truly believe that if I can't see the beauty of the stars, I may never appreciate the beauty of a full moon.

  Smile

  Never doubt that your smile may lighten up someone's day without you even knowing it. So smile often. Frown less. See happiness in the simplest of things. Express gratitude more often, and you will be just like a ray of sunshine over the darkest of hearts and, most importantly, over the hearts of those who matter to you.

  Reframe Gratitude

  We always complain that we are given more than what we can handle. It's true. If we only knew what that truly meant, we would stop complaining and start showing more gratitude. Take a moment to be honest with yourself and think deeply. Reflect. Think of all of the things that you have. Are you handling them correctly? You are given a heart that has the capacity to love until no limit can be drawn, but somehow, you build a tiny little wall around it to protect it. But what are you protecting it from? What keeps it beating? Your heart has the capacity to give because it wants to, not because it has to, but somehow you convince yourself to stop it from giving unless it must. It has the capacity to flutter with happiness over the simplest, most beautiful details of life: a child's smile, a mother's hug, a random act of kindness on the street, the determination in someone's eyes, a kind word, etc. Yet, somehow, you make it immune to seeing those things because you're so busy looking for bigger sources of happiness, not realizing that, if you can't appreciate the little things, you can never appreciate the bigger ones. They may satisfy you temporarily, but they will never bring you true happiness simply because they don't last, or your interest in them fades. You have a mind that has the capacity to be the most logical. It can talk you through any kind of problems that you have, yet you convince yourself that others can solve them for you better than you can. Your mind has the ability to put you first, yet you allow yourself to let others make you doubt yourself. Before you complain of being given more than what you can handle, think of everything that you already have that you take for granted. If you think that you've been given more than what you can handle, you must have been given more than what you deserve.

  Open Your Eyes

  There are people who notice you only when you shine, or when you fall into the darkness. Not the average you. Not the mediocre you. But the great you, or the not so great you. The people who are worthiest of your care are not those who only notice you at your best and worst, but those who see you at all times. They don't need an excuse to love you. They don't need an excuse to talk to you, or to ask you how you're doing. They don't need an excuse to share their happiness with you. They don't need an explanation. They give you one without you asking for it. They assume the good in you before the bad. So keep eyes open just so you don't miss those people. Once you find them, never let them go because those are not just friends but family members. They're life companions. They are the people who will tell you when you are wrong simply because they've allowed themselves to tie their wellbeing to yours.

  Soul Food

  Nurture your heart with the love of those who love you rega
rdless of how hard it is to want what you already have. Contentment is bliss, and happiness flies on the wings of gratitude. Love them back. Give them without expecting them to give you equally in return. True care cannot handle expectations of balance at all times because not every person needs the same thing at the same time. Sometimes we must love more than we feel the love back. We must care more than we feel the care back. Because that gives us the gratification that we need to feel that we've made the difference that we can make for a person who was in need of it. Remember that every strength becomes stronger by weakening the weakness that it spurs from. Every success becomes more victorious by weakening the sense of pride that comes with it. Every happiness becomes more rewarding by weakening the sense of selfishness associated with it. So, today, try to be strong by overcoming the fears you have because you created those fears, as no one can get rid of them but you. Be successful by seeing yourself as the winner because your goal is learn, not to win. Be happy by giving happiness to others.

  Moonless Nights

  Even on moonless nights, the stars don't cease to shine. Even when the clouds conceal the sun in weary skies, every creature believes in its existence. Even when the thirsty bits of earth long for the slightest mist of water, they always accept the rain, no matter how long it takes. The branches of abandoned trees never reject to give rest to a restless bird. Even death springs new life in our hearts as it awakens our sleepless souls to the beauty of the life that we have and were complaining about. So tell me this. How can you be great if you expect to take more than you give? How can you expect to be different if you settle for being the same as everyone else? How can you lose hope after failing once? How can you tell your heart not to accept love after it's been hurt? Or your mind to cease to believe or trust after it's been deceived? How can you be afraid not to meet your fate at the right time, when fate is what chases you, not what you chase? The life you have ahead of you is a journey, and happiness is not a destination. Faith is in the heart, but it plants its seeds in your actions. If you work by your principles, you'll never make a decision that you'll later regret. No matter what fate it is you're chasing that you think is yours, none but what is meant for you will happen. Believe. Let the uniqueness of your heart overflow with hopeful patience that the happiness it deserves already exists and that, because of your uniqueness, it will come in a unique way.

  Just a Moment

  The moment you use to take care of yourself lessens your need for the care of others to feel better about yourself. Take care of yourself. Take care of your heart. Take care of your mind, and they will take care of you.

  A New Look

  If I judge you based on your past, I'd be creating for myself a past that one day I'll be judged for. Don't weave imaginary jail bars around people because of what they've done. At least they have experience. At least they’ve learned. What do you have? What have you learned? Give people new chances. Allow them to see a white world through your eyes. Be the source of their belief in goodness still existing. Look at who they have become and who they want to be. Welcome people into your life with faith in their goodness and in their potential. You're in need of that just as much as they are.

  Grow Stronger

  Just as a fire gives rise to new, stronger growth in a forest, every time you burn out, you have a chance to grow even stronger. Just remember to reflect. Know where you are before you try to figure out where you want to be. If you don't know where you're leaving from, you can't possibly know what you need to do to get to your destination. Stay strong. Pave your own way with every effort you put forth. That's truly when you feel authentic accomplishment. Along the way, don't forget to be grateful for it all, both the good and the bad.

  A Little Wiser

  With every year of your life, you will realize the following. You will know more people, but less people will know you. More people may exist in your life. Many people may know of you, but very few will really know you. Most people exist in your life to know what you're up to, rather than really care for you. You will be the friend of more people, but you will have fewer friends. But your friends will be like mirrors of your soul because, by speaking to them, you are speaking to yourself. You will speak less and listen more. Way more. You will keep more secrets than the secrets you give. You will be more tolerant but less tolerated. You may own more things, but less things will own you. You will be the master of your emotions, and only you will be able to expose them. The older you get, the more of your childhood innocence you'll appreciate and retrieve, because children think of the result before they think of the consequences. Before they jump, they think of where they'll land and not of the wounds the fall will cause. You will realize that you are unique in your thoughts because, most times, you will feel misunderstood. Because you refused to allow the world to mold you, you will always struggle to stay true to yourself in a world of people striving to meet the ideals that society has created. A one size fits all that you refused to live up to.

  All About You

  Once you realize that half of your problems are caused by the way you think about things that come your way, and that the other half is caused by the way you deal with others' struggle to think of theirs, you will become at peace with yourself. You will be able to realize when you have the right to be angry and when you overreacted. You will realize when you have the right to take a stand and when you need to apologize. You will realize when you were selfish and when you were naive. You will be more aware of your purpose behind anything, and you will be able to tell yourself stop when you need to. Life is not all about your comfort; it is about mutual wellbeing while ensuring that you're as comfortable as you can be while being considerate about others' comfort. You will stay humble, although others' actions may make you feel superior. You will be a leader, not by the number of people who follow you, but by the number of people whose lives you impact.

  Love

  I've never been in love, but I imagine it to be hard work. It is wanting for another person more than you want for yourself. It is giving without expecting the same in return. Once that expectation exists, problems are inevitable. It is having lots of arguments but never disrespect. Never humiliation, or even belittling. It's having someone who knows your weaknesses but who doesn't use them against you. Love is a sacred thing. It is by no means perfect, nor is it flawless. It is beautiful with every little imperfection in it. Perfection is always the same, but every imperfection makes each love a unique thing. Love is not a destination that we reach at one point. It is a journey that we already began the moment we were born. It is not something that you find, but something you discover as you look more and more into your soul and learn more about yourself. It is having someone who makes you see the world in a better way. Someone who shifts your focus from the insignificant worries to the things that matter. Love never brings you down. It always lifts you up. It only grows. It is appreciating someone for who they are, not just for the way they make you feel. Love is seeing the beauty from within, for it is what lasts a lifetime. It is dedication to keep holding the hand of the one who loves you, even at heart. It is commitment to bettering oneself through the bettering of the other.

  Goodness Is a Choice

  Stopping yourself from doing what's wrong is not the same as choosing what's right and doing it. Don't stand on the verge of being good. Be as good as you can be. If you can give, give. If you can help, help. If you can make someone's day by a simple act of kindness, make it. Set the bar of success for yourself as high as the best that you can be, not as low as avoiding the worst that you can be. Big difference.

  Take a Step Back

  A sincere lack of effort is much more respectable than an insincere effort. If you sense insincerity, take a step back. If they think you're worth it, they'll take a step forward.

  Say Something

  Wake a wise man up about his oppression, and he will thank you for it. Wake a fool up about his oppression, and he will blame you for it. Yes, we all want to live peacefully a
nd make our living without thinking of the bigger issues of power because that is just too big of a headache. We don't need to take responsibility for what we can't do anything about. Those who speak up get burned, and those who keep quiet are preferred. It's better to stay on the safe side, right? Wrong. You can always grow new skin when you burn, but you can't erase the propagation of oppression after you've allowed it. We are all born with conscious minds, so being oblivious to even the slightest form of oppression is a choice, not a result of unawareness. Be wise and stay awake. Just because you're breathing doesn't mean you're living. Do something. Say something. Risk something. At least, if you want to make a difference.

  Unconditional Love?

  Unconditional love is not true love. It's foolish love. True love has an unconditional willingness to listen and to understand. True love has an unconditional willingness to give, compromise, and sacrifice while working for one future, not two. It has conditions of respect. Don't tell me disrespect can come out of love. Don't tell me violence can come out of love. Don't tell me manipulation can come out of love. True love is not blind. It has a vision. Though it may not make sense who you love, how you love them should.