Bad Dad

by Sloane Howell

  His jaw flexed. “I care about the whole school more than one teacher. As harsh as that may sound. This isn’t a conversation I enjoy having. I’d tell any other teacher in your seat the same thing.”

  “Yeah, because doing what’s right would set a poor example.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “How so?”

  “Have you even thought all of this through? I know you care about your students. I’m sure you care about Logan’s father, and I’m not a dating expert. But I’ve seen similar situations occur. I’ve been around for a while. And it never ends well. What happens if the relationship goes south? Outside of the parents or guardians, a teacher is one of the most influential people in a child’s life. Logan looks up to you. He cares about you. He looks to you for guidance. What if two of the people he cares about most in the world are suddenly at odds with each other? You think I’m trying to look out for myself here. Whose needs are you looking out for by being in this relationship? Yours or Logan’s?”

  I’d have hated to be staring at a mirror in that moment. I couldn’t imagine what my face must’ve looked like. A bright red glare. The worst part was that I knew he had a point. It made it sting all the worse.

  But Landon and I wouldn’t have any problems. There were only a few more months of school left and then it wouldn’t matter anyway. Logan would have a new teacher.

  “It’ll be fine. I’ll handle it.”

  “Just be careful pointing fingers if you’re not going to point one at yourself. When you’re here, the school as a whole is number one priority. You contribute to that by taking care of your students. You’ve done nothing wrong so far. You’ve done a fantastic job. The kids love you. But I have to look at the future and anticipate problems. The regional superintendent calling me is a very big deal. And if he knows, and Hastings knows, then everyone knows. Parents will be watching. You will be under a microscope. It’s just another problem stacked on top of a mountain of problems.”

  “Any hint of affection toward Logan will be noticed and seen as playing favorites, right?”

  “Exactly.” He stared at me for a second. “Can we find a way to keep this all civil and avoid any problems that may arise? Because my hands will be tied.”

  I nodded. I just wanted out of his office. I’d just been scolded about a future crime that hadn’t been committed and I doubted that Williams had said as much as a single word to Hastings about dropping f bombs in front of students, making threats, or grabbing my ass. Maybe he’d have known if he hadn’t been hiding in a corner.

  “May I make a separate, unrelated suggestion?”

  He held a hand out. “By all means.”

  “Can we do something about the procedures for physical altercations between students?”

  “What’s wrong with current procedure?”

  “Did you not read the report I wrote up for you a while back?”

  “Sorry, I’ve been pretty busy and I’m behind on those.”

  Bullshit. He didn’t want to deal with it.

  Williams hooked a finger in his tie and loosened it a little.

  “Yeah, well, when you were in the bathroom after Cory and Logan’s altercation on the playground when their dads were here, Mr. Hastings became belligerent in your office, in front of his son, while Logan Lane sat outside in a chair and heard every word of it.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

  I glared. His gaze shot to the window.

  “It was awful. For both of them. Can you at least look into it?”

  He nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

  “Are we done here?”

  “Yes. I’ll take your suggestion into consideration. I only ask that you do the same.”

  I rose from my seat. “I will. Thank you.” I turned and headed for the exit. A chill ran through my stomach and down to my legs.

  “Cora?”

  I froze in my tracks.

  “This isn’t going to go away. I’m sorry.”

  I pushed through the door and back out into the hall.

  IT WAS ABOUT SIX P.M. I’d sat in my living room and thought about things long and hard for an hour or two. Landon was training, and I didn’t want to disturb him. The last thing I wanted to do was drop yet another problem in his lap, but what choice did I have?

  I finished up a few lesson plans and headed to the Lane house. The sun still loomed far on the horizon and had just started to morph into a pinkish-orange.

  I pulled down Landon’s long gravel driveway. Dust clouds kicked up behind the tires. The two giants appeared in the middle of the yard circling each other. They wore headgear, but Landon’s neck, chest, and tattooed arm were caked with dried blood.

  I came to a stop up by the garage, threw the car into park, and rested my forehead on the steering wheel.

  My heart jumped when Landon’s hand slammed into the driver-side handle. He was so damn fast I never even saw him until he opened the door. I tried to catch my breath—glanced over and Joe had a padded hand on each hip and tapped a foot. He kept staring off at the sun, probably gauging how much time they had left to train.

  I stepped out of the car and he grabbed me by a forearm. His eyes asked his question before his mouth could. What’s wrong?

  I didn’t give him a chance to get the words out. “I don’t want to interrupt you guys. I’m going to go in and see Logan and Janet.” I walked past.

  “Hey.” His word hit me in the back.

  I slowed.

  “I love you.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Love you too. Go. Train.” I didn’t need to be on Joe’s shit list and I didn’t want to see Landon beat to hell and bloody. Not today anyway.

  Sometimes it was hot in a good book or a movie or when you’re in the throes of passion and losing your virginity to the man you love. But after a while, the novelty wore off, knowing the man you want more than anything is in pain and training to possibly be killed in an arena in front of the whole world.

  I hurried up the steps and inside. Logan was on my mind anyway. My stomach had lurched when I had to talk to him in the hallway earlier. Keeping him distracted from the two-man melee in the front yard was my goal. It’d keep me occupied until Landon and I could talk.

  Janet sat on the couch and Logan was at the table with a pencil when I walked inside. The place was spotless as usual and looked like a scene out of Mayberry. Janet read while Logan did homework. I walked into the kitchen and glanced down at him. “You’re doing really well with your writing.”

  He glanced up and smiled. “Thanks.”

  I sat around and helped him with his homework for about thirty minutes. Janet got up from the couch and started throwing some kind of chicken dish together. I asked her if she needed help, but she brushed me off. “Just hang out with the boy. I’ve got this.”

  “You sure?”

  She grinned and waved a giant butcher knife in the air. “Don’t get smart over there.”

  I held up both hands and smiled.

  Landon came through the front door, followed by Joe. Joe said nothing. He walked over to the TV and put a movie on.

  Landon walked over and kissed my forehead. “I’m going to go shower and clean up.” He hovered over Logan for a quick second. “You doing okay, buddy?”

  Logan nodded and beamed at his dad. Even when Landon was bloodied and sweating all over the place, Logan still looked at him like he’d hung the moon.

  “Love you, big man.” Landon kissed Logan on top of his head. “I’ll be quick.”

  Landon made it about halfway down the hall and motioned for me to follow him.

  My heart pounded. It still raced anytime I saw him, but nothing was going right, and I knew the initial rush of emotions would fade, and anxiety would take back over. I followed him down the hall and to the bedroom.

  He pulled me inside and slammed his mouth into mine like he’d banked an energy reserve all day for the moment he could kiss me. I lifted on my toes and everything in the world faded
away. When the kiss was over, I came out of the clouds. Reality smacked me right back in the face.

  “Let me get cleaned up real quick.” He stood there and practically undressed me with his eyes. “God, you’re beautiful.”

  He walked into the bathroom and turned the knob on the shower. I shook my head and tried to stop staring at his broad shoulders and the three skull tattoos that snaked down his arm. “What do your tattoos mean?”

  He glanced back at me and smiled. “Checking me out?”

  “Always.”

  “I’ll tell you as soon as I’m done in here.”

  My eyes moved down to his crotch and I bit my lip. I shook my head to pull my thoughts out of the gutter. “We need to talk about something else.”

  The smile disappeared from his face, like he could read my mind just by staring into my eyes. He nodded. “Give me a minute.”

  The worst part was I wanted him to pull me in the shower with him.

  Must stay strong. We have to work these things out.

  Logan and everyone else were in the other room. I should’ve slapped myself for even wanting him right then.

  “I’ll wait out here.”

  Landon showered in record time and came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. The water sluiced down every sculpted curve of his body. All the way to the vee at his hips that pointed below his towel. I squeezed my eyes shut and pointed at his dresser when I heard his footsteps coming toward me.

  He snickered. “Why are your eyes closed?”

  “Just go. There. Put on clothes.” I could practically feel the smirk on his face.

  “Okay.”

  “Let me know when I can open my eyes.”

  “I don’t see—”

  “Just do it, okay?” I put some emphasis on the ‘okay.’

  “Fine. I’m dressed.”

  I opened my eyes and he had on a pair of gray athletic shorts and a white tee shirt. The thin fabric clung to him and I could still see through it. He hadn’t fully dried off yet.

  Landon raked a hand through his hair and finger-combed it back. His eyes locked onto mine. “Two of the skulls are for people I knew. The third one is for me, an acceptance of my own mortality, that I’ll die one day and can’t control that.”

  Interesting. I could understand struggling with the fact that we’d all have to die at some point.

  “What did you need to talk about?”

  I paced back and forth and told him everything about the conversation with Principal Williams.

  He stood still—stoic even, as if he was studying my words. He’d look at me then glance out the window. His stare kept moving back and forth while he contemplated the issue at hand. He walked over and sat down on the bed. His hand slid over my thigh and nearly covered the top part of my leg. “What do you think?”

  My eyes widened a little. I hadn’t expected him to ask that first. “I think you need to talk to Logan about—”

  He took my hand and interrupted my thought. His thumb brushed back and forth over my knuckles and he held it up to his face and kissed me on the wrist. “We.”

  My breath hitched. “Okay, well, I think we should talk to Logan. But I don’t know what to say to him.”

  His eyes pierced my heart and he looked at me long and hard. “We’ll do whatever we need to do. But there isn’t an I or you. Okay?”

  I nodded slowly and gulped.

  “It’s we. It’ll always be we. And we will figure this out.”

  “I know. I just—that’s what I want more than anything. You know that. Right?”

  Landon stared.

  “I just don’t want to distract you. I don’t want to be a problem. You have training and Logan and—”

  He put his palms on each side of my face. His thumbs brushed my hair back behind my ears. “We’ll talk to Logan. We’ll make a plan. If we have to pretend we’re not together in public for a few months, so be it.”

  “Landon, people will talk. They’re already talking.” I leaned into his hands. “Maybe I should just keep my distance.”

  He shook his head.

  “Until the school year is out. And you can concentrate on training and—”

  His head didn’t stop moving side to side. “No.”

  His word jarred me upright.

  “No. You’re mine.”

  “But—”

  “No buts.” He stood up and pointed out the window with that same finger that silenced the storm that day in the hallway. “They’re not keeping us apart. The world isn’t keeping us apart. We belong together, and they’ll have to get used to it.”

  A tear rolled down my cheek. “I just want what’s best—”

  He kneeled in front of me and wiped the tear from my cheek. Lowered himself beneath me like he was worshipping me. His two strong, masculine hands smothered mine in my lap and he gazed up into my eyes. “I might die in this fight.”

  I shook my head and the tears came faster. “No, don’t say that, Land—”

  “It’s true. I’m not sugarcoating anything. I might die. And there’s no way I can do this alone. I’ll die without you by my side. I need you and Logan and Janet and even Joe’s big dumb ass. I need all of you with me to have a chance. I need you to be my strength.” He wrapped me up in a hug.

  My tears soaked into his shirt. “I can’t lose you.”

  “You won’t. I know Joe says I need to train but—” He sighed. His jaw clenched, and he shook his head—squeezed both of my hands in his. “You and Logan will help me more than any training program. You two are who I’m fighting for. I don’t give a shit how big or badass Sid is. I’m fighting for you two. You and Logan are everything to me. I’ll kick his ass a hundred times if that’s what I have to do. We’ll be free. We can do anything. Be together without looking over our shoulders. I’ve been chained up for so damn long. And if I lose you I’ll be chained up the rest of my life.”

  I nodded. Happy tears mixed with the sad. “Okay.”

  “We can do this. We have to. Let’s make a plan.”

  I rubbed my eyes and Landon came back into focus. “Okay, a plan.” I smiled.

  “The first fight is tomorrow night. It’s nothing to worry about, but it will change things. People will see me on TV. There may be reporters here. People will come to town. Word will spread quickly.”

  “What’s that mean for me? How can I help?”

  Landon blew out a long breath. “If people are talking about us already, it might mean they’ll come to you. I don’t know.”

  “The reporters?”

  “Yes. So, I guess just deny that we’re romantically involved, or it will look bad for you at school. I don’t think the other parents will be a problem after that, though. This town loves MMA.”

  “Okay. So that should take care of some of the gossip hounds and parents.”

  “Yeah, and long story, but I think Hastings was paid to start up a bunch of shit. I mean, the guy’s an asshole and what he did was unacceptable, but I think the extent of his involvement was exaggerated.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think Edmon is behind it. No proof. Won’t ever find any, either. But yeah. I say we just ignore him. If any parents say anything to you, just ignore and deny.”

  “What about Logan?” I sighed. “I think I hurt his feelings today. I tried not to.”

  Landon’s jaw tightened for a quick second then relaxed. “What happened?”

  “He just asked me if I was coming over tonight. Out in the hallway. I told him we needed to talk to you before we talked about me coming over at school. I was nice and tried to comfort him and told him he didn’t do anything wrong. Just that we needed to talk to you. I didn’t know what else to say. Other kids repeat things though. I can’t show any kind of special attention to Logan because of—” I pointed a finger and waggled it back and forth between us.

  “You did fine. And I know. We’ll talk to him tonight. I’m not sure what to say, but we can come up with something. He’s a bright kid. I t
hink he probably understands more than we think he does.”

  “He definitely does. Kids aren’t dumb. They watch and remember everything.”

  “Got that right.” Landon smiled at me.

  “What?”

  His eyebrows rose. “We’re making progress.”

  I gave him a playful shove on the shoulder. “Yes. We are.”

  “I like making progress with you.”

  “Do you now?”

  His eyes were hungry and he stared at me like he wanted to attack me on the bed. “Affirmative.”

  “Are you having some kind of school-teacher-soldier fantasy in your mind right now?”

  “Affirmative, Ms. Chapman. I need you alone for a few hours with nobody else around.”

  I put a hand on his cheek and let my hand slide down to his chest. Then I bugged my eyes out at him. “Focus.”

  His hand snaked through my hair. He wasn’t going to make things easy.

  I felt my eyes closing and my voice lowered. “What about Logan?”

  “They won’t come in here.”

  I reached back for his hand. He let me move it. “I mean, when do you want to talk to him?”

  Landon stood and gritted his teeth, but in a playful way. “Let’s talk to him right now.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “When I get back from my fight, I want a date. It can be in another state for all I care.”

  “Deal. But don’t we need a plan to talk to—”

  “I’m just going to be straight up with him. He’s going to have to grow up a lot in the next few weeks. It’s not fair, but there’s no way around it.” He stepped out in the hallway. “Logan! Come here, buddy.”

  Logan’s footsteps pounded down the hall. “Yes, Sir?”

  “We need to talk to you for a minute. Okay, big man?”

  “Okay.” Logan stepped through the door, apprehensively.

  “You’re not in trouble. I promise.” I held out my arms for him. He hopped into my lap and I wrapped him up in a hug from behind so that he was facing Landon.

  For someone who spent the better part of the day getting knocked around in the front yard, I hadn’t seen Landon grin that much in the entire time I’d known him. He walked over and planted one knee down on the floor in front of us.