Credence

by Penelope Douglas

  He reaches around me again, his arms circling me as he lays the last twig in my arms, and I stay there, waiting for another branch, but…

  It doesn’t come.

  I close my eyes, feeling a light snowfall hit my cheeks.

  I want to turn around.

  And I don’t.

  Kaleb scares me. Making love to him, it felt like… Like I’d never wake up.

  Like I was suspended. I didn’t like it.

  But I loved it.

  I was lost but at peace. Drifting. With Noah and Jake, I can see the future. I know what will happen, but with Kaleb, there’s nothing. I can’t see the next five minutes, because the feelings evolve. He changes me.

  I’m afraid I’ll lose my foothold. I don’t want to go back to being who I was. Scared, waiting, unsure… I don’t want anyone to have so much power over my emotions again.

  He just stands there behind me, his warmth making the hair on the back of my neck rise, and I look down at his arms at my side, feeling his head drop into the back of mine.

  A lump stretches my throat.

  But I lean back into him all the same, a fire coursing through my blood.

  This is how he talks to me.

  His hot breath hits the back of my hair as he slowly pulls my hat off, my hair fluttering across my face as I tense.

  Then he brings his arm down hard, knocking the twigs out of my hands.

  My chest caves.

  The twigs fall to the ground, and I clench my fists, my blood racing. A tornado hits my stomach, and I can’t move. Shit.

  His hands trail down the arms of my black pea coat, his fingers tightening around me, and I only have a moment before he plants his hand on my back and shoves me forward.

  I gasp, stumbling through the snow. The fear makes my stomach sink a little, but it warms, too, making the world spin. I straighten, about to whip around, but he nudges me again, not toward the shop and house, but…toward the barn.

  I throw a glance at the closed shop door. Noah and Jake probably still work quietly inside behind the closed door.

  He pushes me again. And again until I start walking on my own.

  Steam billows out of my mouth, my hair falling in my eyes, and I glance behind me to see his gaze locked on me, following my every step.

  Don’t be gentle. Don’t let me forget what I am to you.

  He shoves me again, and I whip around this time, ready to push back, but he charges into me, pushing me up against the barn.

  This is how he is. A breeze one minute, a cyclone the next.

  He does exactly what he wants.

  I barely breathe as he hovers over my mouth. Un-balling my fingers, he yanks my gloves off and works the buttons of my black pea coat. Gripping the lapels, he yanks me into him, coming for my lips.

  But I twist my head away.

  No kissing. Not this time.

  Tightening his fingers, he jerks me into him again, bringing his mouth down, but he only gets within an inch. I hold myself back, shaking my head.

  No.

  The heat of his scowl burns my skin.

  He grabs me by the jaw, and I clench my teeth as he forces my face up, his lips crashing down on mine. His mouth sears in his rage, but I steel myself, keeping my lips closed as I push him away.

  “Ugh!” I growl.

  He stumbles back, and I launch to make my escape, but he grabs me again, one hand on my jacket and the other in my hair, holding me to him as he forces his tongue into my mouth. The wet heat sends a shockwave through me, and my knees buckle. I want to wrap my arms around him.

  I want to enjoy this.

  But I twist my face away, his lips sinking into my neck. “Kaleb, no,” I choke out.

  No kissing.

  He rips his mouth off me, pushes the door open, and shoves me inside, following me and shutting the door behind us. I slip out of my jacket, the wool rubbing against my stitches as I stumble out of his hold. I suck in a breath at the ache in my arm, but it’s forgotten almost immediately.

  I scurry backward, facing him but unable to look at him. If I look at him, I’ll lose it. I want him too much.

  “Just no kissing,” I murmur more to myself than him. “Please.”

  You scare me.

  He stalks toward me, and I throw a worried glance to the door behind him, but it shakes as the wind kicks up and howls outside, and I feel walled in. We’re out here alone.

  He stalks toward me slowly, and I back up, hitting a wooden beam and wincing as I veer around it. I stare at the ground at his feet, seeing his black and blue flannel dropping to the ground, followed by his black T-shirt.

  But I don’t look up as I stop and he closes the distance between us. Circling my waist, he gently lifts me up and carries me to the wall, setting me down.

  I shake my head. I don’t like him like this. I don’t like him gentle.

  Planting his arm on the wall above my head, he leans in and touches my face.

  My skin tingles where his fingertips graze, and I have to clench my fists to keep from shivering. Softly, I shake my head again.

  “Don’t be gentle,” I whisper.

  Closing his hand around the back of my neck, he jerks me into him, and I almost smile in relief. Until his lips touch my forehead. He presses his mouth to my skin, warmth spreading down my temples and over my cheeks as his thumb caresses my jaw. My mouth falls open, watering for the taste of him.

  Kaleb. Tears fill my eyes. Please.

  The heat of his body surrounds me and anyone else would be freezing in here, but I can’t even tell. His lips fall to my temple as he breathes against my skin, and my belly warms, wanting to wrap my arms around him so badly.

  His nose trails down my cheek, and then he takes my chin, lifting it to force my eyes up. But I keep them down, breathing hard.

  Just bend me over. We’ll both get off, and then I can get out of here. What is he doing?

  He takes my hand and plants it on his bare chest, but I clench my jaw, immediately going for his belt instead. I unfasten his jeans and slip my hand inside, grabbing hold of his cock and rubbing to get him hard. He immediately grabs my wrist, though, and pulls me off him.

  He plants my hand back on his chest.

  Heat seeps through my fingers, making the rest of my body break out in chills, hungry for the same warmth.

  He tilts my chin up again, nudging me harder when I don’t raise my eyes, and when he dips in, taking my lips, I plant both hands on his chest, trying to keep him away.

  “No!” I twist my face to the side, and his hand slams against the wall next to my head in anger.

  I flinch. He takes my hand again, placing it on his face this time, begging me to touch him—to look at him, to see him—as his lips move across my cheekbones and beg for my mouth. His hot breath desperately searches for mine.

  “Kaleb, no.”

  Finally, he shoves away from me, cold air suddenly rushing between us, and I hear his heavy breathing, because I’ve made him mad again.

  I finally look up.

  His glare rips through me, and every muscle on him is tight. He doesn’t understand.

  I look at his father. I look at his brother. I touch them.

  And last night, I didn’t hold back in his bed, but today, I know I can’t go there again, and he doesn’t get it, because he’s like a fucking child. Everyone has to accept that he doesn’t have to explain himself. Now he knows what it feels like.

  Grabbing me by the collar, he hauls me over to him, rips my shirt open, and sends the buttons flying as he tears it from my body. I bring my arms up to cover myself in my bra, my stomach clenching as I watch him fist Noah’s shirt in his two hands and rip it down the middle, the fabric crying out as he makes sure I can never wear it again.

  Catching me by the back of the neck, he pushes me over onto the hood the car under a gray cover, and I don’t even have time to get up before he yanks my jeans down, pulling off my boots and socks with them.

  I growl, pushing myself up, but
Noah’s ruined shirt hits me in my face, and I only hesitate a moment before I slap him across the cheek. He smiles, the challenge and fury in his eyes as he shoves me back down, yanks me to him at the edge of the hood, and plants a hand between my legs, fisting his fingers and showing me what’s his. I gasp, but he moves the hand to my mouth, shutting me up as he yanks my bra down with his other hand and covers my nipple with his mouth.

  And for a second, we’re right back and finishing what we started that first night we met. On a car, him taking what he wants, and me not protesting fast enough, because I don’t want him to stop. I clutch Noah’s shirt, trying to cover myself, but he shoves it off my other breast, anger written all over his face now as he paws my cunt, rubbing it and digging his fingers in through my panties. Then, pushing my arms over my head, he devours the flesh of my nipples, and my heart pumps hot as my eyes roll into the back of my head. Fuck.

  Don’t stop. Just like this. Don’t kiss my lips or look at me or fucking hold me. Just like this.

  He rises up, takes hold of the backs of my knees, and jerks me down into position, pushing my legs open as he digs his cock out.

  I clutch his brother’s shirt to my body, covering my breasts, and only have a moment before he grips my hips and pushes inside of me.

  I clench my fists around the shirt and squeeze my eyes shut as he starts pumping between my legs, my back grinding against the car as he thrusts hard and fast until he’s finally all the way inside.

  A groan escapes me. Oh, God. I blink my eyes open to see him leaning over me and looking down as one hand grips my thigh. He pulls out, glaring down at me as he slides back in, his thrusts getting faster. He falls into a rhythm, strain tightening his face as he gazes at me, and he grabs Noah’s shirt, trying to pull it off me.

  But I hold it tightly. Just fuck me.

  He stares down at me, something he knows his brother wants—something that belongs to his brother and father, even just a little—and knows that out there, I’m not his to keep.

  In here, though? He can sneak a piece. This is what he can have. The stupid little piece of trash he hates, but can punish with a hard fuck when he wants to remind her what she’s good for. This is what we are.

  His dick fills me up deep inside, and my stomach tightens, because it feels good, and I don’t want it to.

  Gasping, I close my eyes, refusing to let myself moan, but I feel the shirt ripped out of my hands. I pop my eyes open, growling as I pull myself up. Asshole…

  But he doesn’t give me time to fight him. He wraps his arms around me and covers my mouth with his, holding me tight.

  I stop breathing.

  His thrusts cease all of a sudden, and his smell surrounds me as his fingers slide up through the back of my hair and hold my head to him, the world spinning behind my lids at the warmth around us.

  Kaleb.

  Breathing hard over my lips, he nibbles on me, dragging out my skin through his teeth slow and soft all of a sudden, and I open my mouth as if on autopilot, letting him have what he wants. The thought of stopping him anymore hurts.

  Picking me up, he carries me to the door, lifts up the cover, and opens the car, the heavy metal creaking. Dipping his head, he lays me down across the front seat of the old vehicle, the cracked leather pinching my back.

  And he comes down on me, slipping back inside me.

  “Don’t slow down,” I beg in a small voice. “Please?”

  Sweat seeps out of the pores above my upper lip as he runs the tip of his tongue across his mouth. I’m dying to kiss him.

  Instead, I grip his hips and urge him faster. “Please?” I whisper in his ear. “Don’t be soft. Don’t make it hard for me to leave.”

  Soft with Jake is fine. Soft with Noah is fine.

  I like it soft.

  But soft with Kaleb… It hurts. Tears fill my eyes.

  He sinks into my mouth slow and deep, and a tornado rips through my body, swirling all the way down to between my legs. I cry into his kiss.

  “Tiernan!” I hear someone call. “Kaleb? Anyone in here?”

  I open my eyes and draw in a breath. Noah.

  Kaleb clamps his hand over my mouth and starts pumping as he sucks and tugs my nipple into a tight point.

  “Hello?” Noah shouts again, his tone aggravated that he can’t find us. The tarp is over the car, though, and even though the door is open halfway, the car cover is still drawn over the windows, so no one can see.

  Kaleb fills me, his groan vibrating across my chest as he licks and sucks, and the sound of his voice makes chills spread down my spine. I suck in air between his fingers, pushing against him and trying to twist out of his hold, but his other hand squeezes my breast, plumping it up to his mouth, so he can devour me.

  I arch my back into it, moaning behind his hand.

  Fuuuuuuck.

  His slow thrusts tease me as he kisses and bites, making my insides start to whirl like a cyclone, and I fist my hands, wanting to take him, wrap my arms around him, and show him the same attention.

  I want to touch him. God, I want to touch him.

  My orgasm starts to build, and I open my mouth to cry out—to get Noah’s attention, so he’ll end this or join us or something. Anything to stop his brother and what’s happening, but…

  I hold my breath, about to fucking come, and…

  I don’t call out.

  I open my eyes, pull Kaleb’s hand off my mouth, and wrap my arms around him, kissing him so deep he fucking stills, his body jerking in surprise.

  Kaleb.

  Kaleb fucking Van der Berg.

  I keep my eyes open and move over his lips, watching the creases in his forehead deepen as I lick his tongue and moan into his mouth. Tears hang at the corner of my eyes, but I clench my thighs around him and tense against his thrusts.

  I don’t want to come yet.

  Sinking into his mouth, I thread my fingers through his hair and over the top of his head, feeling him melt in my arms. I glide my hands up his chest, around his neck, and down his back before sliding them around his waist, hugging him to me.

  The door to the barn finally slams, Noah probably leaving, but I don’t care anymore. This isn’t real. It’s not really happening. Kaleb will go back to how he always is when we leave this car, and I’ll go back to filling out my college applications, but in here, I can’t fight him anymore. I want to feel this. I want to feel what I felt last night in his bed.

  The injury on my arm is a million miles away.

  I kiss him everywhere. Along his jaw, the scruff making my skin tingle, down his neck, behind his ear, and coming back for his lips in between. When he doesn’t rush to move inside me quite yet and closes his eyes, I hold his head and graze my lips over his eyelids and across his brow, pressing my mouth softly, almost dizzy from savoring him. His forehead falls gently into mine, and slow and quiet, we fuck, holding each other. I stare down between us, watching him enter me as his mouth hovers an inch from mine, and I know he’s watching me. I want to say things to him. Beg him for more. But even more, I want to hear him say things to me.

  I look up into his eyes. Relaxing his body on mine, he takes my face, holding us forehead to forehead as I spread my legs wider. Our skin sticks with the sweat, and I dig my nails into his ass, feeling his jeans just below.

  My belly warms, something builds, and I squeeze my eyes shut, ready to cry out as he pumps harder and faster, but he jostles my face in his hand, demanding my eyes stay on him.

  I hold his green gaze, the orgasm wracking through my body and pleasure sweeping between my legs as I start to come.

  But still, I don’t blink as I hold his eyes.

  Breath passes between our lips, I tighten my stomach, and then…it explodes, a wave of tingles spreading down my legs and up into my chest as he watches my every moment.

  I open my mouth, feeling it flood through me and not making a sound as I tighten around his cock, heat filling me deep.

  Finally, a small whimper escapes.

&nb
sp; I fall onto the seat, my eyes finally closing as he covers my mouth with his and thrusts a few more times before coming himself. His hot breath is like a drug, making me weak as his dick throbs and spills. The pulse in my neck beats a mile a minute, and I can’t open my eyes. All I can do is hold him tight to me as his head lays on my shoulder, his breath hitting my neck as he pants.

  I want that again. I want that a million more times, a lifetime’s worth.

  But I have a sneaky suspicion I’ll have a hard time finding it with anyone else.

  I turn my head, my forehead immediately meeting his lips as his possessive hand squeezes my thigh.

  Kaleb Van der Berg, you suck.

  Tiernan

  “Tiernan?” I hear Noah call from outside.

  I look behind me, seeing Kaleb pull his T-shirt on, his jeans zipped up, but his belt unfastened around his narrow, tight stomach. I bite my lip, my mouth going dry for him again.

  I roll my eyes at myself. Jesus.

  Buttoning the collar of Kaleb’s flannel around my neck, I look at Noah’s torn shirt laying on top of the car and pull my hat over my head before pushing the door open.

  “Tiernan!”

  “I’m here,” I say, stepping out into the snow and pulling my coat on as Noah jerks around at my voice.

  “What the hell?” he scowls and walks over, his cheeks as bright red as his hoodie as the wind blows the ends of his hair that are peeking out of his hat. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I was just in there. Where were you hiding?”

  I open my mouth, but the door behind me creaks open, Noah’s eyes darting over my shoulder. Kaleb steps out, snow falling into his hair as he fastens his belt and gives his brother a hard stare.

  I groan inwardly.

  “Oh,” Noah mumbles.

  Blowing out a breath, I turn, looking back at him.

  His hesitant eyes dart between Kaleb and me, but he thankfully swallows whatever he wants to say. Holding up my phone, he tosses it to me. “Phone call. It keeps ringing.”

  I unlock the screen, seeing several missed calls from Mirai.