Credence

by Penelope Douglas

  “You have so many in your corner.” I gaze at him. “Just wait.”

  I wrap my arms around his arm and lay my head down on his shoulder, both of us watching the waves roll in. I’ll be at every race I can, and I’m going to brag about him to all my friends.

  As soon as I make some.

  “You can ask me about him, you know?” he says in a low voice.

  I drop my eyes, not saying anything. I’m desperate to hear anything about Kaleb.

  And not. He’s obviously alive, so he’s eating, sleeping, and breathing just fine without me, even though some days I feel like my insides are on the outside.

  “Dad says he left for the fishing cabin after you left, and he’s been gone ever since.”

  I shake my head. “Let’s not talk about him.” I look up, meeting Noah’s eyes. “What about you? Are you happy?”

  He looks down at me, and I wonder why it couldn’t be him.

  He’s so easy to love.

  “Do you resent me?” I whisper when he doesn’t answer.

  He hoods his eyes, a gentle smile curling his lips. “You were right, Tiernan,” he says. “I was in love but with something else.”

  Racing.

  “I have my future now,” he tells me. “I’m really happy.”

  I lay my head down again, letting out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding for months.

  Laying his head over mine, he kisses my hair and we watch the ocean.

  “He loves you to death, you know?” he says.

  Needles prick my throat as a tear spills down my cheek. “He’s still in that car, Noah.”

  Tiernan

  Noah heads back to the extended-stay hotel he’s paying through the nose for to gather his things, while I return to the house to prepare a room for him. His sponsor is based somewhere outside of Chicago, so Noah might be traveling a lot, but they also have a branch of their business here, so this will be home-base when he’s in town.

  We spent the rest of the day walking and talking, and after lunch, I took him to one of my father’s favorite tailors to get him suited for any dressy occasions that might pop up in the future with his new adventure. By the time we were done, it was late. We ate dinner, he went back to his place to sleep and pack up his things to check out tomorrow, and I came home.

  I’ve had the bed replaced in my parents’ old room, so I’ll put him in there, since it has a private bathroom. I don’t need to take the chance of running into an overnight guest, should he choose to have one.

  “You should be shot!” I hear Mirai scream as I enter the house.

  I stop, pausing before gently closing the door as I listen. What the hell?

  “Whoever designed this room should be shot,” Jake spits back. “These drapes look like the same shit that lines caskets.”

  Jake? My heart lifts a little more. He’s here, too.

  “Ugh!” she growls.

  Something crashes, shattering across the floor, and I tiptoe through the foyer and hide behind the wall to the sitting room.

  “Whoops!” Jake says. “There goes a candy dish. Probably three-hundred dollars and never used, either, because this house hasn’t seen a carb since 2002.”

  I snort, but I cover my mouth, so they don’t know I’m here.

  “Leave,” she says.

  “No.”

  “I’ll call the police!”

  “TMZ will be here before they are.”

  I shake my head, peering around the corner to see him digging his hand into a bag of my veggie fries as Mirai stands close, hands on her hips and huffing.

  She holds up her claws like she wants to strangle him. “I’ve never wanted to hit someone so much since—”

  “Since last night when you dreamed about me?”

  I pull back and lean against the wall. Mirai’s anger over what went down on the mountain between the Van der Bergs and me is still strong—but man, he’s not afraid of it.

  “Where is she?” he asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Mirai?” he sing-songs.

  “Screw you.”

  I peek around the corner again, seeing their backs to me, him standing behind her and egging her on.

  “It didn’t happen like you think it happened,” he explains. “We’re her home. We’d kill to protect her.”

  My cheeks warm at hearing that, but Mirai still isn’t having it.

  “Fuck off,” she says.

  I jaunt past the archway and dash up the stairs before they can see me, not having the energy to get in the middle of that tonight. I’ll say hi to Jake tomorrow.

  “I’m calling security,” I hear her warn him.

  “I’m not leaving,” he taunts. “I’ll be here all night if I have to. Waiting with you...”

  “Nope, you won’t.”

  “Close to you…” he continues.

  “Shut. Up.”

  “Watching you…”

  “Ew.”

  “Just you and me…” he teases.

  There’s a pause and then, “Ow!” Jake bellows. “That hurt! My nose is bleeding. Jesus!”

  “Not on the carpet!” she cries.

  I speed walk to my room, grab the handle, and quietly close the door.

  I’m not sure if Noah found me, because he knew his father was coming, or if Jake came to see how Noah was doing and decided to make a stop here, but either way, I’m happy they’re both here. I just hope Jake made provisions for someone to stay on the property back home and take care of the animals in his absence if Kaleb is still no where to be seen.

  I’ll leave him and Mirai alone for now, though. They need to spend some time together and sort their shit out. Whether or not she approves of what happened, he’s not going anywhere. If she wants to keep being here for me, she’ll have to deal with him.

  I crash to my bed, burying my face in my pillow. It was a good day but long. The ever-present flutter that left my heart when I left the peak six weeks ago is back to some extent. They’re here, and I feel more like I’m home. A little more, anyway.

  My course catalog for school looms like an elephant on my nightstand, but I feel good, and looking at that makes me feel less good. I wanted to go to college this morning.

  But now that they’re here…

  Goddamn them. Always confusin’ me. Reaching up, I pull the chain of my lamp and close my eyes as the room goes dark.

  I startle awake, something stirring me. I blink the sleep away and flip over onto my back, waiting for the room to come into view.

  What was that? It was like hail. It doesn’t hail in L.A.

  I turn on the lamp and sit up, rubbing my eyes. I look at the window, the black night clear and quiet beyond it.

  Rising from the bed, I walk over and pull aside the sheer curtain.

  I cover my yawn with my hand, taking in the blue hue of the grass and the shadow of the tree falling over the dark lawn.

  But then the shadow moves, and I look closer.

  A rope hangs from the same bough my parents used, and a small tire is secured to the end of it. My pulse quickens. Am I seeing that right? Mirai cut down the tire last August, and the rope was gone when I came home. I…

  I charge for my bedroom door and open it, jogging down the hallway. Laughter comes from the kitchen, and the scent of Jake’s chili wafts over me, making my stomach growl, but I ignore it and slip down the hallway and out the back door.

  When was the last time I looked out that window? Yesterday, maybe? Did Mirai have it hung? One for me this time?

  I guess it would be thoughtful.

  Or maybe she hung it for my parents, since she knows I buried the ashes there. Kind of a final memorial of sorts.

  I round the back of the house and see it ahead, swaying in the soft breeze.

  It’s not the same tire. This one is a little smaller with a white stripe around it. Something maybe a child could fit inside.

  Someone steps out from around the tree, and I stop, meeting his eyes.

 
Kaleb looks at me.

  Everything inside my lungs empties, and I don’t feel like this is real, but he moves, placing his hand on the rope above the tire, holding it out for me.

  He did this?

  When…? How…?

  I inch closer to him, my feet carrying me without a thought. “What are you doing here?”

  My voice is barely audible, because my mouth is suddenly dry, and I can’t believe Kaleb is anywhere outside Chapel Peak. He flew here?

  Or maybe he drove, but either way…

  It’s surreal. I can’t picture him anywhere else but there, but here he is.

  “How did you get here?” I ask him.

  He doesn’t reply, of course, simply holding out his hand for me to take.

  I look down at the vein over the back of his palm, remembering the nights I traced every inch of his body, that night, in particular.

  I take his hand, and instead of guiding me inside the tire, he picks me up under the arms instead, lifting me high. I swing my legs around the rope, grabbing hold of it as he plants my ass on top.

  I feel so high and happy, I almost feel sick. God, I love him.

  He’s here. I can touch him.

  What does this mean?

  The bough creaks under my weight, and my stomach swoops, sitting up here. I always envisioned what this would be like. I want to smile, but I don’t.

  Drawing me back, he lets me go, swinging through the breeze, and I can’t hold it in anymore. I smile, despite myself, closing my eyes and feeling my body fly through the air. I come back, and he pushes me again, this time harder. I clutch the rope, holding it tight to my body, and revel in the lightness in my head and the spin in my stomach.

  He grabs the tire and twists it around, sending it and me twirling through the night as it flies away, drifting toward the house and then back to him. I laugh and smile, finally stretching my arms long and tipping my head back as the air sweeps through my hair.

  It’s beautiful and wonderful, and I feel free. No wonder she loved it out here.

  It’s almost enough to make me forget how hurt I was. I don’t want him to leave.

  But I’m not sure he should’ve come.

  The tire spins, slowing down as Kaleb stops pushing me and lets me come to rest. My stomach settles again, and the world stops turning. I stare down at the ground as he stops the tire, standing behind me.

  “How did you know about the tire swing?” I ask, but I don’t expect an answer, of course.

  He hands me a piece of paper, folded many times, and I take it, opening it up.

  As soon as the image comes into view, I know it instantly. It’s a print-out of an article—one of many about my parents. My father pushes my mother on the swing in this very spot, the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen on their faces.

  In the distance, above and barely visible, is me. No more than seven or eight, staring down at them from my window with my chin resting on my hands.

  I refold the paper and hand it back to him.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” I tell him just above a whisper. “You actually left Colorado.”

  “It was time,” he says.

  I suck in a breath, his words hitting me like truck.

  What?

  I slide off the tire and turn to face him not believing what I just heard. Deep but soft. Clear and strong. He spoke.

  Kaleb spoke.

  Walking around the tire, he steps toward me. “My home is where you are,” he says quietly.

  I shake my head, and I’m not sure if I just don’t believe I’m hearing this finally, or if I can’t believe that I can’t remember why the hell I was angry in the first place. It’s like everything is washing away, and those words were all I needed to hear.

  Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out a gray paperback that looks familiar.

  “I found the book.” He hands it to me.

  I take it, seeing it’s The Sirens of Titan we were reading at the fishing cabin. We meant to finish when we got back home, but we’d realized we left it behind accidentally.

  “After you left, I went to the cabin for a long time and started reading it from the beginning.”

  I listen, loving the sound of his beautiful voice. Velvety and soothing, but his words still thick. These words are all new to him.

  “Out loud,” he adds.

  He practiced speaking the last six weeks by reading out loud.

  I wipe the corner of my eye.

  He comes in, caressing my face and catching a tear before it falls.

  “Do you hear yourself better now?” he asks. “Alone?”

  I smile a little. He found my note. His eyes are still always formidable, but his tone… It betrays his insecurity. He’s worried I don’t want him anymore.

  “I think I’m ready to hear both of us now,” I tell him. “You?”

  He nods. “I needed to learn it, too,” he explains. “I needed to hear myself. I’m sorry…it took so long.”

  I smile, and he dives in and kisses me. I circle my arms around his waist, warmth coursing down my body instantly.

  Kaleb…

  He kisses slow and then fast, dipping his tongue in and then nibbling and tugging my bottom lip. “I go where you go,” he whispers between kisses.

  “Will you be happy?”

  I would love to settle back in Chapel Peak—or better yet, at that cabin someday. Albeit with some renovations and expansions. But I have things to do first. Is he coming into the world with me?

  He stops and looks down into my eyes. “I won’t be happy without you,” he states. “I know that.”

  And that’s all I need to know. As long as we’re together, we’re home. It doesn’t matter where.

  “I love you,” I tell him.

  He touches his nose to mine. “I love you, too.”

  My chest shakes, and I try not to sob like an imbecile. It feels so good to hear that, though. Finally.

  We kiss and hold each other, and I’m already making plans in my head of how we’ll spend the months until design school starts. “Keep talking,” I beg.

  I love his voice.

  He chuckles, low and heady. “What should I say?”

  “Anything.” I smile. “Read to me, I guess?”

  He grabs the backs of my thighs and lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his body.

  “Show me your books,” he murmurs against my mouth.

  “They’re in my bedroom.”

  He catches my lips between his teeth, a promise in his dark tone. “I was hoping they were.”

  I smile and hug him to me as he carries me into the house.

  Kaleb

  Five Years Later…

  I run my thumb over her lips as she moves on top of me, grinding and taking me inside her.

  God, this girl loves tents. Fucking hell.

  Her back arches and her hair falls down her spine as she rides me, and I lean back on one hand, holding her hip with my other.

  Fuck, baby. I groan.

  “Kaleb,” Tiernan whimpers.

  She digs her nails into my shoulders and comes in, kissing me, her taste and heat making my fucking head spin. This is the second time in six hours, her climbing on top of me and stirring me awake at the crack of dawn just ten minutes ago.

  How easily I stir for her, though. My beautiful girl.

  Rocks shuffle and crackle on the beach, and I know someone else is up in the camp. I fist her hair, holding her tight to quiet her.

  She slows down, calming her breathing, so we don’t embarrass ourselves in front of the others, but she keeps rolling her hips. Softly. Silently. Tonguing my lips, my goddamn stomach flipping as she drives me fucking crazy.

  “You feel so good,” she mouths across my lips. “I love you, baby.”

  My heart swells. I paw her tit, squeezing it and wanting it in my mouth.

  But my cock throbs, warms, and I hold my breath as she quickens her pace, her hot body fucking me so good.

  We come, our breath stut
tering and fighting to keep quiet as her tight pussy squeezes around me in wet heat. I spill inside of her, dropping my head back as I pulse and jerk, going as deep as I can.

  I gasp for breath. Shit.

  She falls into me, and we crash back to the sleeping bags, droplets of morning dew dotting the roof of our red tent.

  Over the years, in all of the tents, cabins, motels, and truck beds we’ve slept in on our hikes and travels, she is always extra horny in tents. I don’t know why.

  I kiss her, gripping her hair on the top of her head as I hold her to me.

  “I never want to let you go,” I breathe out. “Not even to piss.”

  She laughs. “You have to,” she says. “It’s your turn this morning.”

  I grunt my displeasure at the reminder. I hate making him eat that gross shit.

  She rolls off me, and I gaze longingly at her ass for a few more precious moments before I slip into my jeans and take the small bag she hands me.

  I leave the tent and rise, stretching my arms above my head and taking in a breath of warm July air. The pond and waterfall lay ahead, my dad down on the rocky beach, working the fishing pole already. I grin. Hunting and fishing was the one thing we really liked doing together. I should’ve done it with him more growing up.

  I wash up in the pot of water and rinse my face before drying off and taking the bag Tiernan gave me over to the green tent next to us. Unzipping it, I lean down and step in, seeing Noah still passed out on his back with my son tucked in his arm.

  I stand there, appreciating the view for a moment. Griffin is eighteen months, and even though it was hard for Tiernan to finish her degree as a new mom, she did it. With some help from me. We stayed in Seattle for a year after she graduated, raising him and road-tripping, but finally now, we’re home in Chapel Peak.

  Noah opens his eyes, yawning. “Hey.”

  I kneel down, rubbing Griff’s hair as he still lies asleep. “Thanks for watching him,” I whisper. “We needed a night alone.”

  I try to pull the kid off him. He needs a diaper change, no doubt.

  But Noah tightens his arm around him. “No.” He scowls at me. “The little fucker and I bonded.”

  I snort, prying my kid off him anyway. “Get your own.”