Breaking the Rules

by Tinthia Clemant

  Dee marched away, leaving Peg to roll her eyes and Shannon chuckling.

  “I wouldn’t want to be Jimbo.”

  “He’s a big boy; he can handle Dee.” Peg removed a mirror from her purse and handed it to Shannon. “Hold this, will you?”

  Peg—christened Margaret—O’Neil was the princess of the group. Tall and slender, with the grace of a swan, she was also the referee, often separating Shannon and Dee when they locked horns. She positioned Shannon’s hand in the exact right spot and smiled, revealing straight, polished-to-a-brilliant-shine teeth. “Perfect, don’t move.” She removed a hair clip, and a mass of curls the color of an October sunset tumbled over slender shoulders covered by a pink cotton hoodie. Repositioning the lion’s mane back on top of her head, she loosened a few strands and allowed them to coil around her neck. Frowning, she said, “I hate my nose.” She took the mirror and closed it with a decisive snap. “When I’m rich, I’m going to get it fixed.”

  “I wouldn’t,” Shannon advised. “Your nose gives you a Greek-goddess look.”

  “Thanks, Shan, but I’ve never liked it. I guess it goes back to being given nicknames like Honker when I was in grade school.”

  “Yeah, well, grade school can be a tough time for kids,” Shannon said. “How’s the studio? I keep meaning to get over there, but I never seem to find the time.” She diverted her eyes, not wanting Peg to see that she was lying. She had plenty of time to visit her friend’s yoga studio, but when Justin had found her mat in the closet, he’d torn it in half, telling her to clean the house if she needed exercise.

  “Don’t worry about it. Yoga isn’t for everyone.”

  “I like yoga. I used to do it when Chad was first born. It’s just that…”

  Peg reached out and patted Shannon’s hand. “Really, I mean it. It’s okay.”

  Shannon bit at her lip and nodded. Hoping a change of topic might appease her guilt at being a shit friend, she asked, “How’s Haley?”

  “She’s a fucking witch.” Peg covered her mouth with her fingers. “Oh, sorry, I don’t mean your kind of witch. I’m thinking of the ones with pointy noses and green skin.”

  “I get it, but try and find another word. What’s she done this time?”

  “She picks fights with me constantly. I can’t even breathe without her having something nasty to say.”

  “Has she started her…?”

  “Her period? Yes, and that’s part of the problem. She and I have the same cycle, so we’re both wit—bitches at the same time of the month. The other day she called me…” Peg leaned forward, her voice lower than a whisper. “...a cunt.” Sitting back, she added, “What do you think about that?”

  “I think my grandmother would have washed my mouth out with a gallon of bleach if I had called her that, though I wanted to. What’d you do?”

  “I locked her in her bedroom, which was a waste of time because she went out her window. I swear, I’m at the end of my rope.”

  It was Shannon’s turn to pat Peg’s hand. “I’m sure it’ll get better, but I’m glad it’s you and not me. Girls can be mean.” And adults, she’d almost added, her thoughts cycling back to Justin. The names he’d called her over the years would shock Peg.

  “Tell me about it. I’d love to send her to a camp this summer. Someplace far away, like China.”

  Dee flopped onto the seat next to Peg and reached for a napkin. She wiped her face and complained, “It’s a madhouse up there. You should have seen the looks I got when I walked behind the counter.” The damp napkin dropped on the table. “Shannon, your scones are sold out. I guess the new flavor was a hit. And I ordered a pot of real coffee. You two can take it or leave it.”

  “I’ll make more tonight,” Shannon said. “Where’s the coffee?”

  “Jimbo’s daughter is bringing them over with some bagels. He needs to do something about the AC in this place.” A second crumpled napkin joined the first. “What were you two talking about?”

  “Nothing, really,” Peg answered. “My evil daughter and that you two haven’t come by for a free class.”

  “You know I don’t like yoga.” Dee centered her hazel eyes on Shannon. “Right now I want to know why the urgent meeting? Is Justin divorcing you so he can marry Shelby?” Based on her laughter, Dee seemed to enjoy her little joke.

  Peg bumped Dee’s shoulder, clearly not amused. “Not funny.”

  “Whatever. So what’s up, Shan? Wait a minute. Here comes our food.”

  A petite young girl arrived at the table and set down a coffee pot, mugs, and food. “Here you go, ladies. Dad said to yell if you want anything else.” She did a pirouette on her white Keds and almost skipped back to the front counter.

  “I can’t even imagine how that cute little wisp has Jimbo’s genes.” Dee snorted and grabbed the cinnamon raisin bagel. “Maybe she’s the mailman’s.”

  Peg daintily selected the plain bagel. “You might recall Jimbo was a good-looking guy in his younger days.”

  “Yeah, was,” Dee answered. “Not any more. That’s what drugs and alcohol does to a person. Maybe it’s true that St. John got it on with Jimbo’s wife.”

  “Dee, don’t even kid about things like that,” Peg said.

  Dumbfounded, Shannon stared at Dee. “I can’t believe you said that.”

  “What? It’s always been a rumor. Ask Jimbo. He’ll tell you.”

  “That’s not the point,” Peg continued. “Adam wouldn’t do something like that to his friend.”

  Dee snorted and smeared a piece of her bagel with cream cheese. “He’s St. John. He’d fuck Malcolm’s wife if given the chance.”

  “Who’s Malcolm?” Shannon asked.

  Peg gave Dee an incensed glare. “Adam’s half-brother, and he wouldn’t sleep with another man’s wife.”

  The two entered into an argument about St. John’s integrity while Shannon sipped her coffee. If the rumors were true, Adam St. John was a manwhore. Not that there was anything wrong with sleeping around. Back in the day, she’d played a robust game of musical beds…and hallways…and cars, along with an elevator or two, sleeping bags, and even a rowboat. At any rate, his promiscuity had nothing to do with her reasons for not liking him. Since she’d never even met the man, she had no idea if he was a blowhard, as Justin called him; her opinion was based purely on what the developer was doing to the town.

  Dee waved her spoon. “Snap to it, Shan. I’ll be leaving soon.”

  Shannon lowered her cup.

  “Give her time,” Peg said. “She’s thinking.”

  “She’s not thinking; she’s daydreaming. Come on, Shan, spit it out, whatever you called us here for.”

  Shannon inhaled and released air through her teeth. She shouldn’t share information like wanting a divorce; it was a private matter. If she’d learned one thing from her grandmother, it was not to air dirty laundry for the world to see.

  Dee stirred her coffee with an impatient tapping. “Any day now.”

  Shannon lowered her hands to her lap. “It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have bothered you two. I’m sorry.”

  “Bull. Come on, tell us. I promise I’ll keep my big mouth shut,” Dee said.

  With a quick intake of air, Shannon blurted, “I’m thinking of leaving Justin.”

  The gaping mouths facing her told her she should have started with a more subtle lead-in.

  Chapter 4

  “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

  Judy Garland

  Dee’s spoon clattered against her plate. “I must still be drunk because I could swear I just heard you say you’re leaving Justin.”

  Shannon was quick to offer a correction. “I didn’t say I was leaving him; I said I was thinking about it.”

  “Is this because of Shelby?” Peg cast a look of concern across the table.

  Cutting over Peg’s question, Dee asked, “Why all of a sudden do you want a divorce?”

  “This isn’t all of a
sudden,” Shannon said. “It’s been coming for a while, before Justin and I even moved up here. I should have done this a long time ago, but I didn’t.”

  “And you figured now’s a good time to throw your marriage away,” Dee concluded. “Are you sleeping with someone? Is that it? You have someone on the side, don’t you?”

  Shannon’s eyes widened. “No, that’s not it at all. I’m trying to save Chad and me. If I don’t do something, we’ll…” She slowly shook her head. It was useless trying to explain what she herself couldn’t figure out. She should have sewed her mouth shut. “Just forget about it.”

  “No, Shannon.” Dee pushed her mug aside. “We can’t forget about this. I’ve known you for two years, and you’ve never said boo about your marriage, and all of a sudden you’re leaving Justin. What about Chad? Have you even thought about him?”

  “Yes, I have and, as to your question, Peg, this has nothing to do with Justin’s infidelity; I don’t care who he screws.”

  Dee folded her arms and smirked. “So, this is because of Shelby.”

  “This isn’t about Shelby,” Shannon replied, her voice insistent. “This is about me...” She paused and then said, “I’m disappearing.”

  “Disappearing?” Dee snapped back.

  Peg held her hand on Dee’s arm. “Dee, shush. The whole place can hear you.”

  “I don’t care.” Dee’s tone was firm. “You’re being selfish, Shannon, completely selfish. If this isn’t about Shelby and you’re not screwing around, then what exactly is wrong? Is it sex? Yeah, sex sucks when you’ve been married for a while. So what? Why don’t you try the Aphrodite’s brownies you gave me for my last anniversary? They certainly did the trick; Jeff was as randy as a horse. By the way, I need another batch.”

  “This goes deeper than brownies,” Shannon insisted. “You have no idea what kind of man Justin really is.”

  Dee refused to give up. “I admit Justin can be an asshole at times, but he’s your husband, and you took a vow to stand by him. Why don’t you speak to Pastor Hannity? I bet he’ll see you, despite you being a witch.”

  “I don’t need a priest.” Shannon stabbed the mound of cream cheese on the side of her plate. “I need a frigging spine, so I can save myself and Chad.”

  “Okay, no more talk about priests,” Peg said, assuming her role as referee. “Shannon, you said you’d wanted to leave him before you guys moved to Wexford but you didn’t, so why now?”

  Shannon puffed her cheeks and blew out a stream of air. Peg’s question was the million-dollar one, wasn’t it? Why now? “I did leave,” she answered. “And, before you ask, yes, I went back.”

  “Why?” Dee shot out.

  “It’s complicated.”

  Peg said, her voice gentle and coaxing, “We’ll listen, Shan; no judgment.”

  Shannon slapped the cream cheese with the side of the knife, flattening the mound into a pancake. She should know the answers by now; she’d asked herself the same questions a million times over the past six years. “I thought it was better to keep Chad in a family unit—a mother and a father. It was something I’d lost when I was young.”

  “This doesn’t make sense,” Dee said. “Chad still needs his father. Shan, every guy cheats; that’s just what they do. It’s how they’re wired.”

  “I already told the both of you this isn’t about Shelby. I don’t care if Justin screws the entire female population of New Hampshire. This is about his treatment of Chad and me, and now that Chad’s getting older, he’s annoying Justin…a lot.” Shannon frowned and shook her head. If only she could make them understand.

  “I get it. Kids suck,” Dee snorted. “They put stress on a marriage like nothing else. You should get rid of Chad; send him to camp for the summer. That way you and Justin can spend time together like a normal couple.”

  Shannon dropped the knife and let it clatter on the plate. “I’d rather get rid of Justin.” She smoothed the folds of her skirt, giving herself a moment to gather her thoughts. She’d try one more time, and if they didn’t understand when she finished, she’d give up. She cleared her throat and said, “I loved Justin, or at least I loved the version of Justin he presented to me. In the beginning, he was wonderful—and I felt safe. We were happy. Sure, he cheated on me, and he had a bit of a temper…” She tugged at her wedding ring. “Who doesn’t? When I got pregnant, he asked me to marry him, and I accepted, choosing to ignore the cheating. I moved into his townhouse in Charlestown, and until Chad was born, he treated me like a queen, but after…he changed.” She hugged her arms, recalling how frightened she’d been of Justin’s rantings.

  “How, Shan?” Peg asked. “What would he do?”

  “Oh, each day it was something new that would set him off: he didn’t like the skirts I wore or what I cooked for dinner or the house was too cold, too hot, too bright, too dark—name something, and he hated it. He insulted me, told me I was brainless and an imbecile. And he played mind games, insisting he’d told me something when I knew he hadn’t.” Shannon bit at her lip. She had to lower her voice, or soon the entire café would know her business. “By the time Chad was three months, I’d had enough, and I left. Justin found us and took us back home.”

  “I still don’t get why you went back,” Dee said. “And if things are as bad as you say, why are you still with him now?”

  Shannon looped the straps of her bag around her arm and stood. “I’ll be right back. I need the ladies’ room.” Before she left the table, she faced Dee. “Walking away from a marriage, even if it’s toxic, isn’t easy.”

  After locking herself in one of the two unisex bathrooms, Shannon leaned her back against the door. Sharing her news went about as well as trying to grate a lemon with a feather.

  She used the toilet and washed her hands, scowling at the mirror. It was difficult to face herself lately because when she did, she saw emerald eyes clouded by a defeat that was alarmingly pronounced. Maybe she should accept that she’s trapped, buy a box of condoms, and visit some seedy lounge in Manchester; line up six of the foil packets on the bar, and ask if there are any takers.

  As for love, screw it. She didn’t need it. Justin had professed love, and look where it had gotten her. Even her grandmother had droned on about love. All words, nothing more. Bottom line, people say they love someone so they can get close enough to inflict emotional pain.

  A quick romp was what she needed, someone to help distract her. Clear her head… Blow out the pipes… Center her chi… And give her vibrator a much-needed vacation. Sitting on some stud’s tongue would sure make the situation with Justin a lot more bearable.

  The light tapping against the bathroom door ended the fantasy. “I’ll be right out,” she said and faced her reflection one last time. “What you need is to grow the fuck up. You got yourself into this situation, so get yourself out of it.”

  She exited the bathroom and walked over to the counter.

  Jimbo’s grin faded, his gray eyes quickly taking on concern. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She offered a ten-dollar bill. “May I have three bottles of water, please?”

  “Anything for you, sunshine.” He slid the cash her way. “Keep your money; I need double the amount of those Tropical Breeze scones you brought me yesterday. Can I have them ready tomorrow morning?”

  “Sure thing. I was planning on it.”

  “Have you reconsidered my offer to come on as a partner?”

  “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, I really do, but Justin already said no.”

  Jimbo waved for her to meet him at the rear of the counter. When they were in a more private area, he said, “Justin’s a schmuck. Divorce him, and get on with your life.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Sure it is. You say, ‘Justin, sweetie-pie, I’m divorcing your ass,’ then you grab the little bucko, live in a snazzy townhouse in the Commons, and you do your cooking and baking here.”

  “I’ve thought about it, I really have. Not the cooking a
nd baking part, and thank you, but the divorce. I know it’s the best thing for Chad and me.” She chose to add what Dee had said in the hopes he’d agree, which would make one more person on the side of staying with Justin. If everyone she talked to thought leaving was a bad idea, then it must be. “But Chad will get hurt.”

  Jimbo wiped a towel over the counter and grumbled. “Aw, you sound like Denise. She’s the one with the glass-half-empty attitude, not you. You’re one of the strongest women I know, next to my own sweet Mary Jane. I tell you what, I have a friend who knows a bangin’ divorce lawyer. Want I should give him your number?”

  “Not yet. I still have to think everything through; a divorce would get messy.”

  He pulled on her hands and stared her straight in the eyes. “Life’s messy, so why should this be any different? And Chad won’t get hurt, not with you watching out for him.”

  She stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed the area of exposed skin above the white whiskers. “Thank you. What would I do without you?”

  “You’d be lost.”

  Jimbo went to fetch the waters. She moved to the front counter and chewed her lip. Two hours gone, and she was still in limbo.

  Jimbo set three bottles on the counter. “Promise you’ll come to me for help if you need it?”

  “I will, and thank you again.”

  Jimbo’s massive hands folded around hers. “Chin up, sunshine. What’s gonna happen will happen. What is it you Wiccans say?”

  “You mean ‘so mote it be’?”

  “Yeah, that’s it. So mote it be and amen to that.”

  Shannon thanked Jimbo and headed back to the booth.

  Before her butt hit the cushion, Peg announced, “Dee and I think you should have an affair.”

  Chapter 5

  “The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”

  Marilyn Monroe

  Dee collected the dishes and stacked them at the edge of the table. “No, Peg thinks you should have an affair. I think you should be happy you have someone to take care of you and Chad and call it a day. Life on the outside sucks. I’ve placed enough divorcees in condos in this town to know. They’re all lonely—out drinking and partying; they’re miserable.”