Hollywood Rogue: Rogue and Ivy Book 1 (The A-List Rebels 2)
Page 28
“Nothing some pain killers and a good night’s sleep won’t fix. I’m sorry, I wanted to stay tonight, but I just can’t.” I hold my head in my hands. It isn’t enough that I’m recovering from a broken nose, now I’m getting a sinus infection?
But that isn’t the worst of it.
I lied to Rogue tonight. Told him I was on the phone with Adira. I don’t know why I did that. I could have just left his question unanswered. But when I saw Nicole’s name come up on my screen so soon after the text from my brother it was like the universe was conspiring to remind me that I’m falling for a man who will only hate me when he knows my whole truth.
I can’t change the path we’re on. I can’t keep my promises. And I can’t walk away from Rogue Maddox.
God knows I should and save us both some heartache. Just the thought of it is a pain in my chest and a sting in my eyes. I concentrate on breathing so I don’t cry.
“Christ, baby. That’s the last thing you need to be thinking about.” Rogue pulls the Jeep to a stop in front of our building. He unsnaps his seatbelt and then mine so that he can gather me into his arms. With a thumb he wipes away the wetness sliding down my cheek. “Should I call a doctor? It’s late, but I know one who’ll make a house call.”
I brush away his hand enough to wipe my face and sniffle. Climb across the car and push open the door so I can hop out. “I’ll be okay. I’ll make an appointment in the morning.”
“Ivy.” He catches my hand before I make it inside. Tugs me to a standstill at the entrance. “Wait. Are you sure it’s not more than a headache? I know my family can be a bit much… and they grilled you on your family—”
“It wasn’t them.” I throw myself into his arms. Cling to him.
He wraps his roped arms around me. “Was it the phone call? It wasn’t Adira, was it?”
My chest squeezes. I should have known he’d work out that I was lying. He probably took one look at my face and saw guilt written all over it. I have so much to come clean about, but it sits like a boulder on my tongue. “Are you angry that I didn’t tell you?”
He should be. He ought to be furious.
“More perplexed,” he says. “I thought we were finally being honest with each other. Or am I the only one who agreed to that?”
“We did and you aren’t.” I shake my head as I cover his heart with my palm so that I can feel it pound its rhythm. “I want to explain. I just… not tonight.”
“Because you feel sick.”
“I have never felt like I belong anywhere more than with you,” I admit. Not even with Adira and the queens. And I’m scared spilling my guts will change that.
His lips brush the top of my head. His chest expands inside the band of my arms. His warmth chases away the chill inside me.
“You’re just the first girl I could really see myself…falling for.” His voice is muffled in my hair, but I hear every word. “I don’t know…maybe that scares you, but I hope it doesn’t. And if it does then I can be patient and take things at your pace, but just know that I think I already feel some big things for you and I’ve never had that before. I’ve always been…what I like to think of as immune. Or at least I thought I was… but you changed that. So whatever is going on with your mom…with your family…we can deal with it…even if it’s the mafia.”
“It’s not the mafia.” I shake my head. It might even be easier to tell him if it were. I don’t want to hold back from him, but I don’t know how to spit out the poison either. I feel it festering, like a black spot on an apple. Is there any possible future for us when I tell him all of my secrets?
“But if it was the mafia, I could deal. That’s what I’m trying to say. For you I would deal. But what I won’t handle is you not letting me in. I need you to know that you can trust me. You can talk to me. About anything. Even if it’s ugly. Especially if it’s ugly. Just… we’re done with the masks and the costumes now, okay? Don’t hide from me anymore. Please.”
“Okay,” I whisper. He’s falling for me, and my heart is beating its own answer. Uma Cookie is a part of me. She and Ivy Love are two halves of a whole. I have her strength and her confidence inside me. She has my careful heart. And we are… I am… unfailingly in love with the man in front of me. I have been since before he ever knew who I was.
Back when I was invisible. Before I could even talk to him. When I thought I could never find any strength in myself. When I had no hope of him ever feeling the same way about me. So the fact that he does… it has to mean there’s hope for us, doesn’t it?
We can figure it out.
“Yeah?” The trepidation in his baby blues gives way to warmth.
“I want to be your girl, Rogue. As much as I want my next breath.”
He claims my mouth with a slow brush of his lips against mine. His tongue slips inside to meet mine with languid thrusts that are hot and heady. I hang on to him as my insides melt. I want him so much. I want him always. And I will take every moment and cherish it.
Slowly he releases me. A small smile etches his cheeks. “You should go in. We can talk about this tomorrow. Should I walk you inside?”
“No. We’re, like, right there.” I glance over my shoulder at the first apartment.
“I’m going to text you. Tomorrow. Well, probably as soon as I get home. You should go inside now. Take some painkillers. Get some sleep,” he says as he walks toward his vehicle.
“How can I sleep when you’ve told me you’re going to text me?” My head is still throbbing but I smile like the whole world is made of roses. That’s how giddy he makes me feel.
“Hang on.” He takes out his phone and taps away at the screen.
A millisecond later my phone vibrates in response. I glance at the message. Clap a hand over my mouth in an attempt to contain a snort. “Are you kidding me? That’s your middle name? That whole thing? Like, all of it?”
“Yep.” He grins from ear to ear. “Don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.” I can’t keep the giggle out of my voice.
“Text me back,” he says as he climbs into his vehicle. “Tell me a secret, baby. Something no one else knows.”
“Okay.” I watch him drive away as I consider all the things that I could tell him about myself. Things that he does not want to hear. Things that could break us.
“That’s disgusting, you know. Kissing that bastard. I bet it would be cleaner to lick a stripper pole at an orgy.”
I scream.
“Really, Ivy? Is that any way to greet your brother?”
I spin around in time to see my brother step out of the shadows like he’s stepping off the front cover of Hollywood Juice. I clutch at my racing heart as he sneers down at me. I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d have to face him over the recording of him threatening Summer and Rebel.
No one else could get close enough and be invisible enough to record his conversation with Rebel Maddox. Only me. I just hoped it would be longer before I was forced to face him. Like forever would have been nice. “W-what are you doing here, Alec?”
He picks at an invisible piece of lint on his polo shirt as he steps closer, his gaze levelled somewhere behind me as the sound of a Jeep engine grows quieter. His voice is deceptively soft. "You turned on me, little sister.”
“W-what you said was disturbed, Alec. Threatening to hurt someone like that.” My stomach flip-flops and I take a step back. “Why would you do that?”
Does he get enjoyment out of his cruelty? Is it about control? He used to ask me to scream when he locked me in the closet, but I thought…I don’t know what I thought…that it was only a big deal because I made it into one by being scared and weak. But this…his threats…his behavior…it’s not right.
“You wouldn’t understand,” he says. “He started it.”
“R-rebel?”
“Yes, that asshole started it.”
“D-did… did you…”
“Spit it out.”
“Rochelle Kitt? Did you hurt her?”
“No,” I say. “They really didn’t tell me anything.”
“Oh, you didn’t tell them who you are, did you?” He smiles like a shark with perfect teeth. My heart stops.
“Of course I did.” I wrap my arms around my waist. I feel like a block of ice inside.
“No. You didn’t.” He sees right through me. “Because when you do, Rogue Maddox is going to turn his back on you.”
“He’s not like that,” I say. Even though that’s exactly what I’m scared of. After every secret I’ve kept… why would Rogue believe my intentions were anything but hurtful when he finds out that Alec Hawthorne is my brother?
“Sure.” Alec nods. “He’s totally going to forgive you for lying about your relationship with the guy he hates the most. Anyone would.”
“That’s not—”
“You owe me,” he says.
“W-what?”
“When you tried to end it… you didn’t die, because of me. I’m the only reason you’re here, swanning around with that queer cousin of yours. Enjoying yourself and giving our mother heart palpitations. I’m the only reason you’re making kissy faces with that piece of shit Maddox. You. Owe. Me.”
“No.” I step back as he swings his cold gaze my way. The air seems to grow colder and the hairs stand up on the nape of my neck.
A lot of people still think Hollywood’s golden boy is a good guy. That what happened between him and Rochelle Kitt wasn’t a nightmare. That the enmity between him and Rebel Maddox is the fault of the latter.
I wanted to believe that my own brother couldn’t be that bad. That his threats were just that; threats. After all, what he’s saying is true. He saved me from myself.
But Rebel and Rogue and Riot are good people. Summer is sweet and kind and oh so friendly. Ro jumps at her own shadow though. And they hate my brother in a way that can’t possibly be unjustified. Even if I’d never met them, I would still have heard the violent remarks he made.
I wanted to believe his apology was genuine and that I was building shadows into the solid form of a monster. It was supposed to be my issue. My fear. My doubts.
He smiles like the boy next door. Like an angel. Like he does for his fans.
“Ivy, you don’t even know what I want yet.”
***
Don’t worry, this isn’t the end for Ivy and Rogue. They’ll be back soon in Hollywood Love! Pre order your copy.
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Acknowledgements
You guys, you’re the best!! If you’re reading this then thank you for all you support and encouragement and patience and reviews. Thank you for riding shot gun on this crazy adventure. Feel free to tell all your friends. The more the merrier.
To Tami, dude you are seriously the best editor, sounding board and author friend. I’m glad you fix my stories so that people can love them. I’m glad you totally understand the difference between me and I and when it’s okay to fuck it up!
To my teensy errors team, thank you for helping me polish this book before I kicked it out into the wild.
To Kate, I love your covers. You’re amazing!
To Chelle, thank you for always listening.
P.S. I’d say I’m sorry, but it was the characters, not me. This is not the book I set out to write. Okay, it kind of is, but there was this whole forced marriage thing that just didn’t make sense and a shower scene… oh well, never mind… on to book 3 we go!!
I hope you enjoy the journey.
Misti Murphy xoxo