The Retired S Ranked Adventurer (The Shatterfist Book 1)

by Wolfe Locke

  The goblin dropped a large tome on the table with a thud. "Hmmmm," it said. "It sure is full of loot, full of reapers too, and the dungeon boss is a void wraith! It says if we cover ourselves in [Ointment of Protection], they won’t be able to hurt us and if we add [Holy Water] to our weapons, it’ll, really increase our damage."

  Sven bit his lip, screaming inside. Yep. That’d be the "Big Wide Book of Adventuring". He’d taken other parties into dungeons before when he was escorting low ranking adventurers. It had been hit or miss, but the ones who relied on the book did the worst and needed the most hand holding.

  "Oooooo!" the rest of them said, crowding around the book to look at the illustration. “This sounds amazing. Good find.”

  "This is so cool!" the night elf said. "Look at it!"

  The archer mimed shooting an arrow from a bow. "I’ll dip my arrows with holy water and aim right for the eyes. That’s what I’ll do!"

  The party clapped the archer on the back, egging her on. She mimed shooting more arrows all over the bar, aiming in every direction.

  Sven set his stein down and placed his hands on the table, mentally preparing. I really just wanted to enjoy my drink. But he couldn’t, it was time to step in.

  "Hey, guys," he said with a smile as he walked over, "Mind if I sit at your table?"

  "Uh, sure!" the cyclops said as the elf glowered at him. "You’re the owner, right? Cool place!"

  "Yes, yes," Sven said, flattered. "I don’t like to brag, but I am the owner of The Adventurer’s Rest."

  "We love it here!" The goblin replied.

  Sven smiled testily as he sat down, perching on the edge of his chair. "Glad you enjoy the tavern; I always wanted a place for everyone to gather that wasn’t the Crazy Pony. But we need to talk."

  They all stared back at him, looking stung by his dismissal. Sven shook his head. They think I’m insulting them, no stupid, I’m trying to save you.

  "Look," he went on. "I’ll level with you. I overheard your conversation. You’re planning on trying to run the Dungeon of Infinite Sorrow?"

  "Yeah!" the night elf said, and the rest of the party nodded enthusiastically.

  "Okay," Sven said. "Here’s the thing. I wasn’t always a tavern owner. You might be too young to know of me, but I was also an adventurer. A good one. A famous one before I went on my walk-about after the fight with the Dark Lord. I’ve run the Dungeon of Infinite Sorrow multiple times, and one of those was solo."

  They looked at him skeptically. Sven was taken aback. They didn’t believe him. He tried to show them the emblem on his neck, but they didn’t seem to understand or recognize its meaning..

  "It’s true!" he said. "Believe it or not, I know what’s in there. I can see what skill level you’re at. And I have to say it for your own sake, I don’t think you’re ready."

  The night elf narrowed his eyes. "Do you have any proof?"

  What? Sven wondered. "What do you mean?"

  "Do you have any proof you’ve run the dungeon? Any trophies? Loot? Anything?" The elf asked, accusingly.

  "Besides the emblem of my rank? Besides owning a tavern and the fact that it’s still standing and hasn’t been attacked by monsters or bandits even though we’re not protected by guards? I guess not. I don’t have any trophies. At some point, I didn’t need any. I just ran the dungeons for the satisfaction of knowing I could do them and would pawn or donate my loot after." Sven explained, scratching his chin.

  "Uh-huh, that doesn’t mean anything to me" the elf said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Right. I’m supposed to believe you’re an adventurer who doesn’t care about money. Sure."

  "It’s true!" Sven replied, his face getting hot. How about I backhand you through the wall and summon a greater earth wurm to eat you? Will that be proof enough?

  "No, no, I believe you, buddy. I do." The elf replied mockingly.

  Buddy? Just who does he think he is. Sven struggled to contain his anger.

  "We know what we’re doing. Thank you, though!" the goblin said, trying to diffuse the situation. "Our team is good. I promise you.”

  "We’ve been doing this for two years!" the cyclops said, not helping.

  "Wow, two whole years!" Sven said. "I’ve been at it for longer than you’ve probably been alive. It took me sixteen get to the level where I could make it through Infinite Sorrow. It’s not for amateurs!"

  The night elf scoffed. "Amateurs, did you hear that, guys? He called us amateurs?! We’re professionals!"

  "If you’re such a hardcore adventurer," the goblin said. "Where’s your gear? No sword? No shield? Nothing?"

  "Yeah!" the elf said. "That’s a great point. You’re not carrying anything at all."

  "I don’t need to have them or be wearing them. I’m retired." Sven said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Besides, I’m in my own bar. All I’m doing is drinking ale. I’m not running a dungeon. And I don’t need my sword here, anyways. There’s no one here who can match my skill with the blade."

  "Okay, this conversation is over. It’s clear that you don’t want to see reason." the elf said, turning away. "Don’t talk to him anymore guys, it's not any of his business."

  "I’m serious!" Sven said. Talking to these amateurs was making him feel crazy. "I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been doing this forever.”

  All four ignored him completely after that. They just turned back to their conversation as if he wasn’t there at all. Sven gaped at them for a moment, baffled, before storming off to cool down. Better to cool down then break my tavern. He’d never been treated that way in his life. At least not since he was a B-Ranker.

  "It’s like they were deliberately trying to be, whatever that was!” he fumed, slamming two steins of ale down on the bar next to a startled gnome who was only a drink or two from passing out.

  "They’re just kids, like you said" Ash said as the gnome scrambled off of the stool and hurried off somewhere outside, probably to vomit then pass out. "They don’t know what they’re doing, Sven. And they’re in for a world of hurt if they try to run that dungeon."

  "No ‘if’," Sven replied. "They’re doing it. "They’re dead set on it, and they’ll regret it."

  Sven pounded the two drinks he’d set down and then poured another. It was still bristling with foam and he pounded that too. Things got quiet between Sven and Ash.

  "Say Sven," the mage said. "You know what might be fun?"

  "What?" Sven said skeptically. He was learning much to his disappointment that he and Ash didn’t necessarily share the same definition of ‘fun’.

  "What if we followed along? You know, helped those kids a bit. Kept them out of trouble, make sure they make it to the end" Ash suggested with a plying smile, looking at Sven straight on with those red eyes of hers.

  "They don’t deserve it," Sven scowled drunkenly.

  "Sure they don’t!" Ash said. "But whoever gets what they deserve? Besides, it seems like you care enough that you don’t want them to die, and you know it might be really entertaining. Break up our routine a little bit.” She stopped and then finished, speaking softly. “I know just letting them die isn’t the kind of man you are."

  Sven considered what she said. Ash had a point. It would be fun, and it had been a while since he’d run Infinite Sorrows. This might be a way to keep his skills sharp.

  "All right," he said, slapping his palm down on the bar. "Let’s do it. But if it gets boring, we leave them to their fate."

  Ash laughed, "Can’t fool me, Mister. You’d never do that. You’re a softie at heart!"

  Sven's face softened. "If somebody hadn't been looking out for me when I was that age, I wouldn't be alive today either. It's the right thing to do."

  "Wait," he said, suddenly thinking of something. "Why do you keep calling them ‘kids’? How old are you, anyway?"

  Ash giggled mischievously. "How rude! Didn’t your mother teach you never to ask a lady her age?"

  "Uh," said Sven.

  "That’s my secret. Just like my real nam
e. It’s for me to know and you not to know. And I’m sticking to that!" Ash winked and walked away.

  Chapter 14: Into the Dungeon of Infinite Sorrow

  The party set out early the next morning, with Ash and Sven following close behind. The four of them moved slowly, and it wasn’t hard to track them. The night elf was clearly horribly hungover, which Sven found appallingly reckless.

  "He’s about to face one of the deadliest dungeons in the Northern Lands, and he can barely sit a horse," Sven was irritated. How can they be so reckless? This is how you lose your comrades.

  "Why are they even doing this again? We should just leave them to their fate." Sven said, not really believing his own words. He reminds me a bit of me at that age. Just as brash, and just as stupid. Sven frowned at the memory; he'd lost good friends because of similar decision’s he’d made. He knew he was just projecting, but it didn’t stop him from being irritable

  "Uh-huh," Ash said. "You can’t fool me, Sven. I know you’re worried about them; besides, this will be fun. You haven't been in a dungeon in months."

  "This is embarrassing," Sven grumbled. "Why don't we just join up with them and walk them through it? Or tell them they should just go home now!" So, you don’t die. I might not be their next time.

  Sven would never admit it, but the mage was right. He was having a good time. It felt good to be back on the road again, and complaining about the rude amateurs was fun in its own right.

  "Because Sven, that’s boring. If you want to be a hero. I won't stop you, but I want to have a little fun. We never get away from the tavern. Please, please, please, let’s do this my way." Ash asked, looking at him with wide eyes that glittered.

  "Alright...." Sven relented. I really can’t say no to her.

  "Eww gross, look at the trail on that!" Ash said, ducking behind a bush as the elf dismounted to vomit for the third time. "What an adventurer! He'll make A-Rank for sure."

  Sven clutched the hilt of his [Broadsword]. He hoped he was still in shape for this. It had been a while since he’d face an-Ranked dungeon, and Sven felt stiff and out of practice. Ash should be able to help, but getting them through without alerting them to our presence is going to be hard.

  Soon enough, the jagged maw of the elder ruins that marked the entrance to the Dungeon of Infinite Sorrow loomed ahead of them. The void wraith that called the dungeon its home had added lavish and vain décor to the ruined structure. Over the years, the wraith had its servants build an immense temple structure on top of the dungeon with its grinning, skull-like face plastered all over it. The entire building was made of streaked green marble and dark stone. The entrance was a giant skeleton’s open jaws.

  "It sure is something, isn’t it?" Ash said when she saw it, idly spinning purple magic between her hands.

  "Not to your taste?" Sven said, noticing that Ash seemed almost annoyed by it.

  "Mmm, I would have done things a little differently. It’s tacky. Vulgar even." Ash replied, clearly not amused by what she was seeing.

  The party had dismounted ahead of them and were circling the temple at a leisurely pace, inspecting it without much skill. Sven was disappointed. They should be listening to their pack animals. Their horses were clearly terrified. They stomped and snorted, bug-eyed with fear, but they were tied fast to a post at the dungeon gate.

  "Those poor horses, they don’t want to be here." Ash said. "Should I let them go? Please? Please? They’ll be better off away from here."

  "Just direct them towards the safety of the tavern." Sven said. "Someone should get out of this in one piece."

  The mage snapped her fingers, and the horses’ bridles disappeared. It took them a moment to realize they were free, and then they were off. Their hooves clattered on the green marble path as they galloped past Ash and Sven, an invisible hand guiding them towards safety.

  "Yay!" Ash said, watching them go. "Now let’s see what happens when those kids figure it out!"

  Almost immediately there was a huge commotion from the temple gate as the party returned from their initial inspection to find their mounts gone.

  "Who did this?" Qashuri, the night elf, said. "Sabotage! Thieves! Someone’s out to make sure we don’t make it."

  "You know what I think?" the cyclops said, staring around with his single giant eye. "I bet it’s that guy from the tavern. He really didn’t want us to come out here. He seemed kind of shady too, you see how he was drinking and watching us the whole time? I bet he followed us. I’m surprised he didn’t put anything in our drinks."

  Qashuri snarled. "The old man doesn’t want us to show him up by making it through! Doesn’t think we can do something he never could!"

  "Oooo," Ash said, crouching down behind a bush. "They’re on to us."

  "They’re on to me," Sven growled. "They have no idea you’re involved at all. And their story’s all wrong! I did run the dungeon, multiple times—"

  "We know, Mister, we know. You’re the greatest warrior of all time. At least one of them. Now let’s go kick some dungeon butt!" Ash replied, rolling her eyes.

  Sven was not well-suited to espionage. He’d always been a much bigger fan of heavy stealth. He was just too big and too loud for anything else. Being trained with a blade was not the same as spying on someone. Besides, sometimes the way of the Fist is all you need.

  "A little help Ash?" he said, trying to cover himself with a scrubby bush. "Like a cloaking spell, or something? I never needed one before."

  "No problem!" Ash said. "[Voyeur’s Cloak]". The spell was instant, both of them disappeared from sight, though they could still see and hear each other. They were completely hidden from the party ahead. "Ash…" Sven said his face contorted oddly pained. "Why is that spell called that?" The mage smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. "You don’t need to worry about that Mister." "Ok," Sven groused, looking around to see if anyone or anything noticed them. "I guess I should have hired a mage years ago!"

  The pair strolled boldly into the dungeon, confident that they were invisible. With Ash’s spell over them, they were able to follow close behind the party.

  It wasn’t long before the party got into trouble and required an intervention. The [Ointment of Protection] they had covered themselves with didn’t actually do anything except increase resistances by a tad, which might have helped somebody like Sven, but for them with the power difference between them and the dungeon monsters, it mattered little.

  The Dungeon of Infinite Sorrow was crawling with reapers—cloaked and hooded monsters with spectral skeleton faces. They floated above the ground eerily and could creep up on their enemies without ever touching the earth or making a sound. To fight them required a level of awareness none of the party of four had been trained in.

  Three reapers dropped from the ceiling as the party made their way into the entrance hall, screeching a battle cry to announce their presence. The night elf raised his sword clumsily and struck out wildly in a panic.

  "Oh, come on," Sven said, watching the elf slash at empty air. "This is so sad. They really thought they could do this?"

  "Be nice!" Ash replied, discretely zapping a 4th reaper that was spawning with a bolt of magic. "They’re trying!"

  Sven sighed. "Okay."

  He picked up a small rock, and his hand lit up as he cast "[Blessing Upon You]" to add a holy attribute to the rock. Then, aiming carefully, Sven hurled it at the nearest reaper, striking it square on the jaw. The reaper looked around for its enemy, bewildered, as its body began to disintegrate, slowly sinking into the ground to be reabsorbed by the dungeon. Sven smiled and noticed none of the four had caught on to what happened.

  "One down!" Sven said. "You got one, Ash, I got one. Three left. You’re right, this is fun!"

  Chapter 15: Those with Potential

  Only one of the reapers was left. The spectral monster flew around the party, screeching as it careened through the air. The party of amateurs ducked down, terrified. Sven grabbed another rock and prepared to use [Blessing Upon Y
ou] to imbue the stone with holy attributes.

  To his surprise, a [Light Arrow] streaked through the darkened room and embedded itself into the monster’s otherwise untouchable eye. The reaper howled in rage before collapsing on the floor, not yet defeated. The helmeted archer ran over, another arrow notched into her [Wooden Bow].

  There was a quick flash as another [Light Arrow] went flying in a flash, and the reaper disintegrated back into the dungeon. The monster was dead, and with the last of the reapers defeated, the light in the room increased, making it easier to see. It was time to move on. "Hmm," Sven told Ash. "That one might have some potential as an [Arcane Archer] if they keep this up."

  The rest of the party scrambled to their feet, laughing and throwing high-fives. To Sven’s irritation, the party didn’t even seem to realize they hadn’t defeated the reapers on their own.

  "We did it!" the night elf exclaimed finally after his breathing had settled down. The four of them came together in a group hug. "I told you they could do it."

  "Very wholesome," Sven said. "Too bad they’re in the most difficult dungeon in the Northern Lands! This is not the time to stop and toot your own horn!"

  "Awww," Ash said. "That’s what we're here for. Besides, they have the power of friendship. You used to believe in that didn’t you? Don’t stop believing now."

  They passed through an ominous looking door down a darkened hallway. Just as Sven had feared, the reapers, which could pass through stone walls and pass through the different levels without issue, noticed the easy prey that had stumbled obliviously into their dungeon.

  Sven sensed more of the monsters at the end of the hallway in a room marked by two red torches and polished skull over the door. A swarm is waiting in the next room. They’ll be overwhelmed. To Sven, the screeching was earsplitting, and Sven looked at the party in disbelief. How did they not notice what was happening? Ah, I forgot, they don’t have an S-Rankers hearing.