Ready for Love

by Gwyneth Bolton

  And the worst part of it all was that she had to watch him walk around just as wounded and broken as she was. Knowing she had caused a man that only wanted to love her that much pain broke her heart more, and she didn’t think she had any more heart left to break.

  She sighed. No use continuing to wallow in it. She had made the decision and she had to live with it.

  She looked at her clock and realized that her next appointment, Lace Monroe, was at least fifteen minutes late.

  She and Penny had worked their magic and the former video girl had almost turned her scandalous image around. She had even been cast in a television sitcom and was thinking of signing a record deal. Maritza hadn’t even known the woman could sing.

  Maritza’s new assistant, Daphne, stuck her head in after tapping on the door. Maritza looked up and noted that the young African-American woman was dressed appropriately today. The previous day Maritza had had to send her home because she must have thought she was going to the club instead of to work in an office. The off-white pantsuit Daphne had on today looked much better than the pink bubble skirt and purple bustier that she’d had on yesterday.

  Maritza prayed this assistant could hold up to her standards and also not break down crying at the slightest critique or criticism. If she kept going through assistants at the rate she was going, there wouldn’t be anyone else left in L.A. to work for her.

  “Lace Monroe is here to see you.”

  “Send her in.”

  Maritza checked out the stylish and classy pantsuit Lace had on when she walked in. She’d known when she picked out the suit, along with other outfits, that it would elevate Lace to another level. But seeing the proof was worth it.

  “Sorry I’m late. I have just been ripping and running all day. With all of these opportunities coming my way, I’ve had to hire another agent and I’m looking for another assistant. And I really couldn’t have done it without you. That’s why this is such a sad day and I feel so bad that I have to let Keys and Morales go. You guys have been so good for me and so good for my career.” Lace’s face showed the perfect mix of torn and tormented.

  If nothing else she will be a great actress and I can say I knew her when, Maritza thought and bit back her laughter.

  “That’s too bad, Lace. I feel like we have really been able to make some wonderful strides together.” Like any of your newfound out of the bedroom success would have happened without us… “Do you mind if I ask why you feel you need to sever ties with New Images by Keys and Morales now?”

  “Well, it’s not that I want to. I mean, I know that I wouldn’t have been able to make the changes that have gained me this newfound respectability and find the love of my life without Keys and Morales, well, especially without you, Maritza, let’s keep it real.”

  The love of her life?

  A man, of course!

  Maritza felt like she should have known that. It would always come down to a man for Lace.

  “Anyway, Terrill and I talked about it and he felt that it would be too much of a conflict of interest once we were married with him being part owner of New Images by Keys and Morales and given his former relationship with you and all.” A practiced, apologetic look crossed Lace’s face. “Not that you would ever do anything out of jealousy or anything to sabotage my career because of my marriage to Terrill or anything like that. But it would just be pretty awkward for everyone involved, don’t you think?”

  Maritza knew she was sitting in her chair and trying not to jump up and start slinging little Lace Monroe all over her office. But for some reason it felt like she was having some kind of out-of-body experience. As far as she could tell it had started the first time Terrill’s name came out of Lace’s mouth.

  Terrill was marrying Lace? And he hadn’t even had the decency to tell her or warn her about it?

  A part of her was screaming no, it couldn’t be. And the other part of her was dying. The inside of her chest felt like a bubbling mass of pain. So much so that she didn’t even open her mouth for fear of what might come out.

  How could Terrill do this to her? He wouldn’t do something like that, would he?

  But then she thought about how much he liked to make sure there weren’t any conflicts of interest. And even though he had kept their affair secret for years, he would tell the woman he was going to marry. He wouldn’t keep that a secret, especially if the wife was a client.

  She needed air.

  “Congratulations,” a voice croaked. Was that her voice? “I wish you and Terrill nothing but the best. Now, if you will excuse me. You were late today and I have other appointments and things to do.”

  Maritza watched as her body lifted itself up from the chair behind her desk and walked toward the door.

  It must have seemed abrupt, or maybe it was a shock for Lace to be dismissed like that. But Maritza didn’t care. She needed Lace gone. She needed everyone gone. She knew that like she knew her own name.

  Lace got up and followed her to the door. “I hope that we can be friends.”

  Maritza didn’t answer her, at least not in any way that was intelligible to her own ears. She just walked her out and stopped by Daphne’s desk on the way back.

  “Daphne, please cancel all of my appointments and then go home for the day. I don’t want to be disturbed. So just lock up the front when you leave. Thanks.”

  Maritza knew she was walking back to her office but she couldn’t feel her legs moving or her feet touching the ground. She couldn’t feel anything. She couldn’t even feel when she hit the ground once the door closed. And she damn sure couldn’t feel those body racking sobs that shook her until it felt like she was going to throw up, until she made herself so sick from crying that she did throw up.

  She only started feeling once the last tear fell and once the last bit of vomit had turned thin and watery. Then she felt it, the enormous, cavernous emptiness that threatened to swallow her like a black hole. She sat on the floor of her office next to a garbage can full of her own puke, feeling empty and numb.

  Somehow she made it through the next week without too many crying fits, but every once in a while she would break down and have to cancel everything. But she was getting better. As long as she didn’t have to see or hear from Terrill or Lace, she would be fine. At least that’s what she kept telling herself.

  The only problem was she would be seeing Terrill in a few days and it would be on Valentine’s Day. She wondered if he would be bringing Lace. Then she wondered if she should cancel the trip to Jersey.

  Penny and Jason would kill her and there was no way she was going to miss her godchild’s christening. She closed her eyes. And before she knew it tears were coming down again.

  Shit!

  Her heartbreak just seemed to be never-ending with Terrill. It had been over a year since he’d essentially dumped her. So why did she even care if he was getting married?

  She swallowed back her tears as much as she could. It was a good thing she had decided to give Daphne the week off. She knew she’d be breaking into crying fits and she couldn’t have Daphne catching her in the middle of one. Plus, Daphne wasn’t working out all that great, anyway. It was time for a new assistant. She didn’t think she had any more appointments for the day, so she decided to go home after she finished sobbing.

  “What is going on with you? I have been calling you all week and finally decided to just stop by and check on you. And I find you here crying like someone stole your puppy. What’s the deal?” Andrew’s voice was half joking and half serious.

  Maritza looked up from her new crying spot, sitting at the desk with head down in her arms, to see Andrew “Speed-Lo” MacGregor standing there.

  Just what she needed, an important client seeing her cry.

  She wiped her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we had an appointment today. In fact, I thought we were pretty much done with you. Your image is squeaky…well, almost squeaky-clean and has been for at least a year now.”

  “Well, some tapes from
my teenage years just got leaked where I am saying some pretty messed up things about women of color. I had just had a really bad breakup with my Latina girlfriend and I went into the booth—”

  “Oh, no. Please tell me your propensity to seek creative revenge via your songs is a skill you developed late in life?” Maritza half joked. “Or at least tell me these tapes don’t have songs on them about you raping and killing Latinas and putting them in your trunk?” She reached in her desk drawer for something to cure the headache she felt coming on.

  She popped two Advil and chugged back some water.

  “No, not violent, necessarily. But let’s just say I didn’t say very nice things about my Latina ex or the Black girl she caught me cheating with, since they both dumped me. And now that my ex-deejay has leaked the tapes, everyone is trying to say Speed-Lo is a racist. And you know I’m not racist. Hell, my whole crew is full of brothers and even though Leila broke my heart I still love me some Latinas. You know I’ve been trying to date you since I hired you.”

  “Well, surely even you know there are things you just can’t say as a white rapper, Andrew. Good grief! Racial slurs?” She shook her head.

  “Yes, I learned pretty early on what a white guy could and couldn’t say when it came to race. But let’s just say I hadn’t learned that particular lesson yet when I made this tape. I need your help, Maritza.”

  “What can I possibly do to help in this situation, Andrew?”

  “Marry me?” His tone was serious and then he pulled out a monster of a ring.

  Chapter 8

  Terrill didn’t know why he’d agreed to attend this stupid Valentine’s dinner with all these happy Hightower couples and Maritza. He must have been a glutton for punishment. But there he was at the supper club, sitting all the way across the table from Maritza and torn between begging her to come back to him and standing up and telling everyone in the small private room what they had been to each other the past few years.

  He watched as Patrick’s new girlfriend carried on a conversation with Maritza. Patrick’s girlfriend! Even sour on love and hard on the ladies Patrick had been able to get a beautiful woman to fall in love with him and openly admit it in front of his friends and family.

  There was something really wrong with the world when a curmudgeon like Patrick was able to find love and a nice guy like him couldn’t even get the woman he loved to be seen in public with him unless they were in a foreign country where no one knew them. At least that’s what Terrill was inclined to believe.

  He decided just to try and ignore everyone, because if he thought about things too hard for too long he was bound to combust.

  At least the food in the supper club was superb. It was nuevo soul and the chef had made all kinds of cool twists on traditional soul food favorites. They took a diasporic approach to the food and sampled flavors from all across the Caribbean and the African continent.

  The Hightowers had the private dining room and the appetizers, entrées and desserts had already been pre-selected. Everything was amazing, from the food to the company.

  The décor was really nice, too. The rich earth tones of brown, green, rust, tan and orange were highlighted with little pops and splashes of jewel tones from purple to emerald to ruby and topaz. A live jazz band played in the main dining room and the music was piped in and softly playing in the background of their room.

  Maritza couldn’t help glaring at Terrill across the table. She had to glare to keep from crying. And there was no way she was going to cry for him in front of everyone.

  Lace Monroe? He was with Lace Monroe and was going to marry her?

  What the hell?

  She was too busy stewing in her own anger to even notice Patrick’s little girlfriend trying to talk to her.

  And what was with these damn Hightowers anyway? Couldn’t at least one of them stay single? She’d thought Patrick might be more like her and at least knew that love was for suckers. But he apparently had fallen in love, too.

  “Oh, girl, I’m sorry, you feel so much like a part of the family already, I didn’t realize you hadn’t met my best friend Maritza Morales yet. She and my other best friend, Terrill are visiting from California because little Jason Jr. has his christening tomorrow and they are the godparents.” Penny smiled at Aisha. “So they were nice enough to give up their Valentine’s Day plans and hang out with us the entire weekend. They’re taking a muchneeded break from each other right now though, before someone gets hurt.”

  Yes, and you had better never question my friendship ever, sister! You just don’t know the length of what I am going through just to be here for you!

  Maritza wished she could just get up, point to Terrill and tell everyone in the room that he was a liar and a snake. But if she did that they would want to know why she was calling him out. So she stuck with glaring. Glaring worked just fine.

  “Lovers’ quarrel?” Aisha asked.

  Maritza narrowed her eyes and counted to ten. It was better if she ignored the little twit. If she snapped at her, then she would be the bad guy because the woman had goody-two-shoes exuding off of her like a sickeningly sweet perfume.

  “Ooh…don’t let her hear you say that. She will probably go off. They technically can’t stand one another.” Penny made quotation marks with her hand.

  Maritza gritted her teeth. Cussing out your best friend and business partner the day before you were going to become godmother to her second child probably wasn’t a good thing.

  “Oh…” Aisha nodded, but she looked confused.

  What part of “he ain’t my man” don’t you understand? Ask another question about Terrill and me, and let me hear it. Oh, please do it, chica.

  Aisha turned her oh-so-cute and oh-so-sweet, confused face to Patrick and he smiled at her.

  Maritza thought she was going to throw up. She officially hated Valentine’s Day and she was starting to hate these always-falling-in-love Hightowers. Suckers for love, all of them! Not one of her brothers would ever let the love bug bite them. She was the only Morales, besides her parents, who seemed to be slow at learning love was for fools.

  What’s love got to do, got to do with it? Not a damn thing. She glared at Terrill again. We had a good thing going and you had to mess it up. I wish I could hate you!

  Patrick leaned over and whispered in Aisha’s ear.

  Maritza could have sworn she heard him say it was complicated between her and Terrill and he would explain things later.

  Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

  Let a man fall in love and he thinks he’s turned into Dr. Phil or something. Who he think he going to diagnose up in here?

  Aisha had the nerve to nod and smile.

  Yep, she’s a twit. Oh well, Maritza supposed she couldn’t like all of the Hightower women. She was actually surprised she liked Samantha and Minerva. She didn’t usually get along with women. Penny had been the first and only exception for years.

  The private room in the restaurant made it seem as if they were at their own little Valentine’s party. The Hightower couples were using the small dance floor in the other room and dancing to the live jazz band.

  The evening sucked.

  “So I have an announcement, everyone.” Maritza hadn’t even realized her mouth had opened until she heard her voice. She glared directly at Terrill as she tapped on her glass with her fork.

  All of the talking stopped and everyone looked at Maritza.

  “As many of you know, I have been seeing Andrew ‘Speed-Lo’ MacGregor. And…well…he asked me to marry him yesterday and I’ve decided that I’m going to tell him yes.” Maritza smiled her ice grin, all the while wishing she could pull her words back from the universe.

  But some small, evil part of her wanted to share the hurt she was feeling with someone and Terrill was the person who had hurt her, so he got to feel the pain.

  “The white rapper, Speed-Lo?” Joel asked. Then he said “ouch” when Samantha elbowed him.

  “You…ahh…you didn’t say yes right wh
en he asked you?” Jason kept glancing back and forth between Maritza and Terrill.

  Aisha leaned forward and glanced from one end of the table to the other.

  “No. He gave me the weekend to think it over. He knew I was coming to the christening and I wouldn’t be in California on Valentine’s Day, so—”

  “So, seems like if you really wanted to marry him you would have said yes as soon as he asked. What’s with this you need to think about it? Either you love the man and want to marry him or you don’t.” Lawrence shook his head as he spoke.

  And little miss goody-two-shoes Aisha had the nerve to look like she felt sorry for Maritza.

  Keep your pity, sister!

  “Getting married is a big decision. Of course she wanted time to think it over before saying yes—” Aisha started and stopped when she got a poke from Patrick. “What?”

  Patrick just shook his head.

  “Isn’t Speed-Lo known for being kind of crazy? I mean, really crazy. Half of the lyrics on his first album had all this off-the-wall stuff about him wanting to kill his mother and his ex-wife. And you’re saying you’re gonna marry this guy?” Jason stared at Terrill as he spoke to Maritza.

  That only made her angrier. “You ever heard of creativity, Jason? God. It’s an act. He’s not really crazy. He’s really sweet.” Maritza rolled her eyes. “You guys are worse than my brothers. I can just imagine what they’re gonna say when I tell them.”

  “Well, I think it’s wonderful. Love is a wonderful thing,” Samantha said cheerfully.

  “But does she love him?” Patrick asked and Aisha poked him.

  Maritza couldn’t help but smile at that. Aisha seemed to have some spunk and Maritza had to admire that. Anyone that could poke a dragon like Patrick Hightower was all right with her.

  “Yeah. I can’t wait. I know there will be all kinds of superstars at the wedding. I hope we’re all invited.” Minerva was fully showing now and she rubbed her medium-sized baby bump as she spoke.

  Penny, like Jason, just looked from Maritza to Terrill and seemed like she wanted to say something, but said nothing instead.