Hot Stuff

by Flo Fitzpatrick

  “What? What did she say?”

  “Well, let me explain that these are the first words Claire has spoken in ten years since she had a throat operation that went bad. She said she agreed with my assessment. Mahindra has been cursed. Saraswati had enough of him. She took away his power to speak and blessed Claire with that ability again.”

  I stared at Claire, then at Brig. “How does she know that?”

  He gently took Claire’s hand and led her toward me.

  “Tempe Walsh, let me reintroduce you to Claire Braganza Dharbar. The rightful heir to Shiva’s Diva.”

  Chapter 42

  “I need food. Now.”

  It wasn’t the most gracious thing I could have said after Brig made this introduction. But it was what came out and I meant every word.

  No one disagreed. Claire stared at me as if I’d lost my wits, but then, she didn’t strike me as a stress-eating type. Asha and Brig nodded.

  Brig decided that, cursed or not, he couldn’t trust Mahindra. One does not need words to throw a knife or shoot a gun. He yelled at the three rodeo-trained dancers to bring more rope and work their magic on Mahindra.

  Brig glanced at me. “You know, now that I think about it, Mahindra may own most of the cops around Bombay, but I’d wager the boys at Interpol are not so easily bribed and would be happy to take possession of the thieving, kidnapping scum. Or maybe I should just let my elephant crush his rotten, speechless neck.”

  “No. Don’t upset Binky. She’s been through enough.”

  The dancers quickly bound Mahindra with the rope. Asha sneered at him, kept well away from the elephant, then giggled. “Guess we don’t need to gag him though, do we?”

  “Ouch. I guess not.”

  Mahindra wasn’t going anywhere. For a truly tacky coup de grâce, Asha set Sparky the snake down a few feet away from the man.

  “Stay, Sparky. Good girl.”

  I crossed my eyes at her. “It’s not a dog, Asha. You really think she’s not going to crawl off in search of a nice mouse somewhere?”

  Asha lifted her chin. “She’s very well trained. She’ll stay. Besides, she’s had a very alarming experience and it’s her nap time.”

  “Fine. I can’t say it would upset me much if the dear little girl wound herself around Mahindra and kept him company for the rest of the day.”

  Brig put his arm around me. “No offense to the ‘dear girl,’ but I’d be a mite more relaxed if Sparky did not accompany us at the table for tea. Nor her buddy. The one now reclinin’ around Asha’s neck.”

  Asha smiled and released the second serpent. “Go on, Fluffy. Go with your sister and make friends with the bad man there. Good girl.”

  Both snakes curled up and stared at Mahindra. They seemed quite content to remain in that position.

  Claire spoke then, in Portuguese. Her English skills must have been better than I’d thought, at least as far as her understanding. Translated, she stated that king cobras using that flat-headed strike pose are males, not females. I told Asha. She snorted.

  Claire, Asha, Brig, and I walked toward the food-service tent. I gathered tea cups and saucers. Asha headed for a stack of freshly baked Indian desserts. Brig found tea strainers and a small canister of chai. Claire sat and let us wait on her. She still seemed to be in shock over all the events of the day. I sympathized.

  We sipped and chewed and did not mention anything that had transpired over the last hour until all color had been restored to everyone’s cheeks. Asha scanned the tent.

  “Anybody have a clue where Jake is? He’s usually first in line for tea.” She grinned. “Or third, behind Tempe and me.”

  I thought about this. “Last I saw him he was hanging on to the crane overlooking the fountain. With the zoom camera and the CD player. Come to think of it, he’s probably the joker who decided to play tunes from Footloose during Brig’s gallant rescue atop Binky the brave.”

  “What’s this?” Brig turned to me. “I couldn’t hear anything besides the voice in my head telling me to finish it. I was rather intent on climbing onto Binky’s back.”

  I told him about the music changing to “Holding Out for a Hero” during his ride.

  He beamed. “Nice. Wish I’d had the wit to hear it. But I was somewhat focused on urging the elephant into the fray. It might have spurred me on.”

  “I think you were spurred enough.”

  “ ’Twas seeing your garment held in his lochdah lorgair hand what did it. The very thought of him touching anything of yours made me crazy.”

  I inhaled. Then I squinted at Brig. “Criminal dog tracker? Is that what you just called Mahindra?”

  He grinned. He leaned over and kissed me. “I did. Trying to stay polite for my Gaelic-speaking lass here.”

  Asha interrupted. “Will you guys shut up? I want to know why Ms. Dharbar is the rightful heir. Brig? Get on with it.”

  Brig sat back, inclined his head toward Claire, then took a long sip from his cup. “Let me back up a bit. Okay. Claire speaks only Portuguese and the native language of her village. A very obscure Indian language, I might add. She understands English but can’t speak it.”

  Asha groaned. “Are you about to start one of your longwinded Irish tales?”

  “I am hurt. Wounded, you might say. I was going about being direct and getting to the point. But now that you’ve impugned my integrity in telling the story, I may have to elaborate after all.”

  I poked Asha under the table with my foot. “You started this, Jersey girl. You ought to know better. Brig. Continue. Or start. Whichever.”

  “Thank you, luv. Where was I?”

  “Nowhere,” Asha snorted.

  I wrinkled my nose at her. “Will you just let the man talk? Jeez. This is going to take forever.”

  She sighed. Brig lifted his chin.

  “All right, then. Claire’s husband, Sachin Dharbar, is another friend from college.”

  I groaned. “I might have known. By the way, did you ever get anything done at Yale or did you just make international buddies so you’d never have to stay at a hotel?”

  Brig kissed me and Asha tried to shush me.

  “Now who’s interrupting? Let him get on with it.”

  I did. Happily. Claire was married to a friend of Brig’s. Brig could tell any tale he wanted now that he’d spoken those two words. “Claire’s husband.”

  Claire smiled. I translated for Asha’s benefit when Claire stated, in Portuguese, “Sachin and I are from the village of Chaul. My maiden name is Braganza.”

  Asha coughed. “That’s nice. Hello? Point?”

  Brig tapped Asha. “Hush. We’re getting to it. And Braganza is important. Just keep the name in mind. Now, if you and Tempe will let me be, I might finish this before the next Ganesh festival. The pair of you are dangerous together, you know that?”

  My turn to motion Asha to be quiet. Brig threw her a quick look and began to speak faster on the very probable chance either of us decided to interrupt again.

  “Sachin called me about three weeks ago. He’d gotten word that Shiva’s Diva was about to be sold by that slithering Khan. To more than one buyer, including most of the players we’ve been dealing with all week. Sachin needed my help to get into what started out as an auction among at least a dozen customers.”

  My turn to call time-out. “Why you?”

  “Tempe. I’ll explain. Promise. But can I get to the good part of the story?”

  “Yeah, fine. Go ahead.”

  He sighed. “Women. Lord love them, but they’re a sore trial to a man, and that’s for sure. Well, I got to India about a week before Khan set up the so-called buy at Hot Harry’s with Raymond Decore and Mahindra and Patel. Apparently, Khan had whittled the bidding down to those three, which could be why the whip toting Rashee didn’t show.”

  I raised my hand. “Don’t throw anything at me, but why couldn’t Sachin come himself? I mean, he’s like what, two hundred miles tops from here? And you were, where?”

  “Lond
on. And, darlin’, Sachin couldn’t make it to the meeting because he’d broken his leg in two places not one week earlier.”

  “Was this by courtesy of Mahindra or Patel?”

  He grinned. “Neither. The man was trying to get his satellite TV set hooked up on his roof and fell off. Nothing sinister about it.”

  “Should have known it would be something ridiculous since he’s one of your friends. Okay. So, you’re at the meeting. Ready to buy?”

  Brig shook his head. “I was there to observe who else was interested and find out the price. Then, of course, all bloody hell breaks loose and Tempe and I end up with the statue.” He smiled at me. “And each other.”

  I was getting warm again and it wasn’t the tea. Asha “Ahem’ed!” and “Yo’d!” and Claire chuckled. I gathered she’d understood that last phrase. Brig winked at them both.

  “So Tempe and I go on the run with the statue. Which is where Asha and Jake come in. And I apologize for that.”

  Asha rolled her eyes. “Get over it, Brig. Other than the night I spent under Patel’s watchful evil eye, I’ve been having a terrific time. And Jake, wherever he is, now has all sorts of ideas for his next flick.”

  “I appreciate your saying that. I’m just very glad you didn’t suffer any harm at his hands. Unlike Ray Decore. Dead in an alley over a piece of ivory. Bloody stupid.”

  I nodded. “I still don’t know whether to tell Jeremy, my boss, that his friend Ray turned rotten during this jaunt to Bombay. Maybe it’s best to let it go? Ray’s dead. Nothing can be gained by destroying his memory.”

  “Very charitable of you, Tempe. You’re a sweet girl. Anyone ever tell you that?”

  “Thanks, I think. Brig. I have a question. Well, I have several, but mainly, why didn’t you just hand the statue over to Claire once we had it?”

  “She and Sachin were terrified when I told them about the cast of characters who were showing a keen interest in the Diva. None of whom would take no for an answer if the question was ‘Can we get our hands on the goddess?’ She relied on me to keep the statue safe.”

  Claire smiled at him as he continued.

  “I had to prevent the thugs chasing our goddess from knowing the ultimate destination was Chaul. I couldn’t simply deliver Shiva’s Diva to Claire and send her back there. The way Mahindra and Patel, even Ray, were following and snatching people and all that, well, they’d’ve been on Claire, then Sachin in a flash. And it’s a tiny village they’re from. So we couldn’t risk letting them take Saraswati home.”

  “Why risk it today? With Mahindra chasing us and kidnapping me and the last shoot-out at Hot Harry’s?”

  “I set things up with Claire early yesterday to come to take the Diva today. Ray was dead. I figured I could handle Patel by letting the cops know he’d killed Ray. I didn’t know I’d end up in jail for that same thing. And I thought Mahindra would be chasing us anywhere but here.”

  Brig grinned. “I forgot to tell you, I waved at Seymour as I was leaving the pokey and he was coming in. I then turned and told a few of my new friends in enforced captivity that the man liked small children as more than a legacy to his name, if you get my drift. I knew there’d be no more interference from Patel.”

  He frowned. “I really hadn’t counted on Mahindra snatching Tempe out here on the lot. Once I learned that Tempe had been kidnapped, I let that idiot pal of Mahindra’s stand guard outside my door at the hotel while I snuck out and crawled down with the Diva. I hid it in the Jeep after calling Jake and Asha to ask them to come help with a rescue. I figured Kirk wouldn’t think of looking for the statue in Jake’s vehicle.”

  I lightly caressed his hair. “And he didn’t. Mahindra really thought you were being a good little boy and staying put till midnight at the hotel. Sleeping.”

  He stared at me with a look that melted my insides down to my toes. “He had no idea how true and deep my feelings were, and are, for you, Tempe. His mistake.”

  I reached for Brig’s hand. “Okay. I’ve got the gist of this. But I still have a question.”

  “And that would be?”

  “You’ve explained everything except what makes Claire the rightful heir.”

  Brig smiled. “She’s a direct descendent of the Portuguese sculptor who carved the Diva in the first place and added the blessing and the curse five hundred years ago. Christopho Braganza was kin to Catherine of Braganza, who married King Charles the Second of England back in 1661 and presented Bombay to him as part of her dowry.”

  “Wow,” I said.

  “Wow,” Asha said.

  “Well put. Christopho aside, Claire and Sachin have another claim I like even better. They run a school in Chaul. They teach art, music, and acting to kids. Actually, that’s mostly what Sachin does. Claire’s been teaching sign language to the hearing impaired in the school. So, Shiva’s Diva can finally come home and spread the gifts where they need them most.”

  Claire stood and smiled. In Portuguese she said, “As she did today. I am blessed again by Saraswati herself.”

  Chapter 43

  Brig, Asha, and I stayed at the table for the next five hours. Two men in dark suits who flashed badges and ID at us at least ten times to prove they were indeed from Interpol, and not associates of Patel or Mahindra, took the permanently speechless Kirkee and his soggy male dancer wannabes away. They waited until Asha gathered up Sparky and Fluffy, the guardian snakes. By then, Mahindra seemed grateful to be in international police custody.

  Claire hugged everyone, casually slung the tote bag with Shiva’s Diva over her arm, then headed for her car. She paused just before leaving and turned to me. In Portuguese she told me to take care of the man. I assumed she meant Brig, which sounded fine to me.

  She then said that she and Sachin would come to the States for a visit the first chance they had. She even winked and said they’d throw the Diva into a bag and bring her so we could see her again.

  The cast of Carnival of Lust left for the day.

  Asha, Brig, and I sat drinking more tea, debating whether we wanted to head into Bombay for dinner. Asha rose. “I’ve had it. This is nuts. I want to know where Jake disappeared to. He’s missed all the action.”

  She shrieked as the man himself wrapped his arms around her and lifted her into the air.

  “I’m right here. Sorry I couldn’t join you earlier. But I had things to take care of, and I did not miss the action, Miss Kumar.”

  “What things? Where were you? Hell, Jake, you didn’t even get to hear the whole explanation about Claire and Shiva’s Diva and everything.”

  “I realize this. Brig will fill me in later.”

  He sank into a chair and gratefully accepted the cup of tea I handed him. “So? Not to echo Asha, but what happened to you, Mr. Roshan?”

  A huge smile spread over his face. “I was standing on the crane lift while all that action Asha spoke of took place on the ground. I watched my sweet fiancée throwing snakes, dancers tapping around Mahindra’s men in the fountain, Brig riding in on the elephant. I loved that great bit where Tempe came swinging down on the rope and knocked Mahindra off his feet. Magnificent. I caught every moment of it on film!”

  We stared at him. He seemed oblivious to the looks.

  “I have a new movie planned.”

  Asha sighed. “Might have known. After this one wraps and after our wedding, I hope. By the way, I’ve been thinking about that. I’ve decided I want to have the ceremony here after all. Mom and Dad need to visit. Perfect way to get them to India.”

  I nearly fell off my chair, but Jake nodded as if he’d always known this would be her choice. He turned to Brig. “Can you stay? Be my best man?”

  Asha interrupted before Brig had a chance to speak. “Tempe’s going to be my maid of honor if that makes any difference.”

  Brig smiled. He reached for my hand. “Well, yes and no. When do you plan to have the wedding?”

  Jake thought for a second. “April. Right after Carnival of Lust is released.” He smile
d. “It’s far less hot here in India that time of year.”

  Brig shook his head. “Well, then, Tempe will be Asha’s matron of honor. Because, if my charm still works on the lass, I plan on her having a status change several months before that.”

  He knelt down on the ground in front of me. One knee.

  “Will you marry me?”

  For a moment, I thought Shiva’s Diva had gone insane. She’d cursed and blessed me all at once. I was speechless and delirious with joy. When I finally found my voice, I could only utter one word. “Yes.”

  Brig helped me stand up from the table and held me. And kissed me. And kissed me a bit more.

  My skills as a linguist had deserted me. Even when we came up for air, I kept repeating, “Yes. Oh yes!” Then I stared at my newly intended and thought of all the days and nights we’d be sharing until we both were very, very old.

  Asha broke the silence since Brig and I were still too busy hugging and gazing into one another’s eyes to be coherent about anything.

  “You two have just proved something for me. I’d always heard love makes you stupid. I’m now witnessing exactly that.”

  Jake grabbed her and planted a firm kiss on her mouth. “I seem to remember a certain Miss Kumar and a Mr. Roshan spending no less than thirty minutes crying and hugging and one or the other asking, ‘Is it true? We’re engaged?’ not that many months long ago. Right?”

  I interrupted while Jake was keeping Asha quiet but happy. “I, personally, would rather be stupid and be loved than be brilliant, not loved, and lonely, thank you.”

  Brig nuzzled my neck. “You’ll never be those latter two, lass. That I can promise you.”

  We kissed again, then I drew back for a second.

  “Wait. One thing I need to ask. Yes, I love you and will proudly become Tempe O’Brien.” I giggled. “That is so cool! Talk about dreams coming true.”

  Brig grinned at me. “So, what do you need to know?”

  “Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Stupidity whacking me again. What exactly do you do for a living, O’Brien? I mean, do I need to fear Interpol coming back and throwing you into the pokey with Mahindra and friends for trafficking in hot merchandise?”