“I think you’re right,” I said, picking up my sandwich again. “Unfortunately for me, I don’t only need to figure out if he really is the one or if I’m ready to settle down with him. I also need to figure out what to do about it if he is the one because that’s got the potential to be a total shit show.”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. I don’t envy your position right now.”
“Neither do I.” My stomach rolled, but it was just going to have to settle itself down. I needed it to accept my lunch without argument so I wouldn’t pass out from lack of nutrients in front of a room full of kids. Then it needed to be strong enough not to lose said lunch when I got to the serious thinking part of things.
Alice and I wolfed down our sandwiches, not having much time left to talk since our break was nearly over. Just before I headed back to the class, I gave Jordan a call to find out if I could see him later, and when he said yes, it did the weirdest damn things to my insides.
The rest of the day dragged by, but then I was finally home and getting dressed to go see him. The butterflies that had been born in my stomach when he agreed to let me come to his place had grown into giants since we’d hung up. They were zooming around my stomach now and throwing themselves at the lining.
If Jordan wasn’t the guy for me, why did I feel like this about him? Why did the knowledge that I would be seeing him in less than an hour make me feel like I could fly right along with my butterflies?
It had to be because he was the guy, the elusive one so many people spent so many years looking for. But there was so much more to our situation than that.
The only thing I was sure of when I eventually arrived at his house was that for the first time, I was truly starting to realize how deep my feelings for this man ran. I had all the damn feelings for him, and I had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
Chapter 29
Jordan
Mentally reviewing the checklist I had in my head to make sure I hadn’t done something while prepping that would ruin our dinner, I grinned triumphantly when I got to the end of the list and hadn’t left anything out.
Reaching behind me to undo the ties on the plain white apron I was wearing, I caught movement from the corner of my eye. I spun around, seeing Elyse had let herself in without knocking. I liked that, though yet again I didn’t know why.
It seemed I didn’t mind someone breaking and entering, even if she hadn’t technically broken anything, or invading my privacy as long as that someone was Elyse. Yeah. My feelings about this girl are getting weirder and fucking weirder.
“Hey,” I said, pulling the apron’s straps over my head and then hanging it over the back of a stool. The breath of air I’d just taken got stuck in my lungs when I took my first good look at her.
Wearing a simple, strapless violet sundress and sandals, her dark hair loose and falling to her shoulders in the front and only coal liner around her eyes, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my entire life.
“Hi.” She lifted her hand in a wave, then flicked her fingers toward the oven. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
I stalked toward her, closed the distance between us in two long strides, and wrapped my arms around her waist, hauling her up against my chest. “Whenever I got in trouble when I was in the Navy, I got assigned to the kitchen. Let’s just say I spent a lot of time cooking, so I got pretty damn good at it.”
“In that case, I can’t wait to taste it.” She looped her arms around my neck and tipped her head back, offering me her pretty pink lips.
“I can’t wait to taste you,” I groaned, lowering my mouth to hers before claiming a deep, lingering kiss. God. I could kiss her forever.
A soft giggle escaped her and I pulled back, looking down at her with what had to be a quizzical expression on my face. “What’s so funny?”
“That you could make such a clichéd line sound so hot,” she said, her mouth brushing against mine as she spoke.
“It wasn’t a line.” Although now that she’d pointed it out, it sure sounded like one. “It was the truth, but now the moment is ruined, and we’ll never get it back.”
Elyse laughed, planting a soft, chaste kiss on my lips before stepping back. “I like the playful side of you. You know that?”
“I like every side of you.” A smirk tugged at the corners of my lips. “But especially the backside. That’s my favorite.”
She gave my bicep a light shove, turning to set her satchel down on the counter. “Something else we have in common then because your backside is my favorite too.”
“Pretty sure there’s something in the front you like more than that,” I teased and walked over to the fridge. “What do you want to drink?”
Elyse rolled her eyes at my comment. “What are my options?”
“Water, coffee, beer, and wine.” I opened the door as I waited for her answer, extracting a beer for myself.
“I’ll have one of those, too,” she said when she saw it.
I handed it over to her and took out another for myself before closing the fridge.
“How was your week?” she asked as she got settled on a stool at the counter, folding one of her legs over the other and letting the beer dangle between her fingers. “We didn’t get to talk much.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” I’d been busy trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me, not that she’d made contact with me either. “It’s been an interesting one actually.”
“Really?” She tipped her head to the side, bright blue eyes intent on mine. “What happened?”
“Your brother happened.” I took a seat across from her and filled her in on Kole’s offer. “Long story short, he wants me to go back and they’re throwing a lot of money at me to make it happen.”
“What are you going to do?” She took a sip of her beer, then set the bottle down on the counter. “Are you going to go back?”
“No.” I took a long pull of my own beer and then shrugged. “I’m happy where I am right now. Obviously, the money would be a lot better than what I’m making now if I take Kole’s offer, but I don’t want that to be at the forefront of my decision.”
“I can understand that,” she said. “Money might make the world go round, but it can’t buy happiness. At least, that’s what I believe.”
“Same. That’s exactly the thing for me, though. I really am happy doing what I’m doing right now. I’ve got everything I need and I make a decent living. There’s really nothing more to it than that.”
“Then that’s what you tell Kole.” She lifted her chin slightly. “Don’t let him bully you into coming back.”
Leaning across the narrow counter, I cradled her chin between my fingers and pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s cute that you think he’d be able to bully me into coming back, but thanks for understanding and supporting my decision.”
“Always.” She looked right into my eyes, and something that felt significantly more meaningful passed between us. Elyse seemed to realize it at the same time that I did, snapping her gaze to the side and sitting back so my hand fell away from her face. “So that’s why you’ve been so quiet then, huh? Been thinking about Kole’s offer and how to let him down gently.”
“Among other things.” The timer for the chicken went off and I stood up to check on it. “What about you. How was your week?”
“Fine. Long.” She didn’t explain why, giving a pointed look at the oven instead. “That was really fast.”
“I cooked it earlier until it was almost done. This round was only to crisp up the skin under the grill. I didn’t want you to have to wait too long for dinner just in case you were starving.”
She patted her flat stomach. “I am starving actually, so thank you.”
Elyse helped me carry the roasted chicken, vegetables, and the salad I’d had waiting in the fridge to the dining room table, smiling when she saw I’d already set it. Candles and all. “I’m starting to think you really are a romantic at heart.”
I lifted
my shoulders in a shrug. “Honestly, maybe I am. Who the fuck knows anymore?”
I was only half-joking, but she laughed and let the loaded question go. “Well, I like it. Thank you for this. It smells delicious and looks divine. I can’t wait to tuck in.”
“Then let’s do it.” I pulled out her chair for her, earning me another surprised look when I rounded the table to my own seat. “And you’re welcome. I just hope it tastes as good as it looks and smells.”
Elyse moaned when she took her first bite of the chicken, which of course brought out an entirely different appetite of mine. Her eyelids even fluttered closed as she chewed. If she planned on doing that throughout the entire meal, I was going to fuck her right there on the table before we were even done eating.
Thankfully, after complimenting me on everything, she eased up on the special effects. After clearing the haze of lust from my mind, I dug into dinner and we fell into small talk that felt strangely domestic.
“Are you going to tell me why your week was so long?” I asked between bites. “Did something happen at work?”
“No, not really.” She kept her eyes firmly on her food, making me wonder why she was avoiding eye contact with me all of a sudden. “I’ve just had a lot to think about. You know, there’s been a lot of big changes in my life recently, and sometimes, it’s still hard to believe it’s all actually happening.”
“It is.” Another of my stupidly wide grins spread on my lips. “It is all actually happening and it’s been great, right?”
I was including us in that question, whatever it was going on between us, even though I hadn’t explicitly said it. She finally looked at me again. Something about the way her eyes softened and sparkled at the same time told me she’d understood me perfectly all the same.
“Yeah, it has been great.” She smiled. “It seems to just keep getting greater actually. I’m starting to get to know my way around. I feel like I’m making real friends. I love this place. I can totally see why you chose to stay here even after leaving the service instead of moving back home.”
“This is home now,” I said.
“Yeah.” Her smile became radiant. “It really does feel that way, doesn’t it?”
“Yep.” I lifted my beer as she did the same, the necks briefly connecting over the center of the table. “To home.”
“To home,” she repeated quietly and something shifted in her expression, making it seem heavier than before. She blinked it away before I could tell what was going on, her usual lightness back in her eyes in an instant.
“So,” she said after taking a few more bites of her dinner. “I went to karaoke the other night, as you know.”
“Yeah?”
“I think you should come with us next time. After hearing all those stories about you dancing with cleaning equipment, I think I’d like to see one of your shows for myself. What do you think?”
“We’ll see.” I debated asking her what had caused that heaviness just now but then decided against it. Whatever it was, Elyse knew she could talk to me about anything. When she was ready, if she ever was ready and wanted to talk to me about it, she would. “How about this? I’ll come to karaoke night with you and give you a show you’ll never forget if you agree to stay over tonight.”
“Just tonight?” she asked, traces of suspicion in her tone. “One karaoke night for one sleepover?”
“One karaoke night for one sleepover,” I confirmed. I knew she might have slept over anyway, but I wanted to guarantee it. I hadn’t seen my girl in four fucking days and it’d been four days too damn long. Even if being around her and having her back did scramble my brains.
The corners of her mouth lifted into a beautiful, genuinely happy smile. “I’ve gotta say, I think this is a win-win for me.”
“Yeah.” I always wanted her to win, though. Whenever I could, I wanted to give her everything I could to make her happy. “I don’t mind. I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of me, so my performance will only be about you anyway. If you wanted to see me dance though, all you had to do was ask.”
After swallowing the last bite of her food, she sat back in her chair with her eyebrows lifted. “Really? Can I ask now then?”
“You could.” I lifted my hand to rub the back of my neck, squeezing my fingers into the sore muscle there. “But I hurt my neck working out in the field this afternoon, so I might not be on my best form.”
“You hurt yourself?” Worry darkened her eyes and she was out of her chair like a shot, darting around the table to stand behind me. “Where? What happened?”
“It’s really not such a big deal,” I said, reaching out to take her hand and giving it a squeeze. “A crick at most. Don’t look so worried. I’m fine.”
She laced her fingers between mine, then tugged at my hand to get me to stand up. “Maybe, but I’m pretty good at massages if you want to revisit that statement and say that you’re in desperate need of one to relieve the pain you’re in.”
“I’m in desperate need of a massage to relieve the great deal of pain I’m in.” I’d have been an idiot to turn down that offer, and I might have been a lot of things, but I wasn’t a fucking idiot. “So much pain. I’m not going to be able to sleep for a week if I don’t get a massage right now. Imagine all the headaches. Hell, migraines.”
Elyse chuckled, shaking her head at me as she pulled me in the direction of my bedroom. “You can stop now. You’ve convinced me of how dire your situation is and I’ll happily do my best to help you out.”
“You’re such a good friend.” I pushed open the bedroom door and practically threw myself onto the mattress.
When I looked back at her, Elyse was smirking. “Would a good friend be telling you to get naked for this?”
“I have to get naked for a neck massage?” I sat up on the bed, reaching back to tug my shirt off first, then toed off my shoes. “Seems strange, but I’ll do it. Desperate need and all.”
She laughed as she walked farther into the room, coming to a standstill in front of my bed. As I lifted my hips to get my jeans and my underwear off, I froze when I saw her pushing down her dress and it fell to a pool on the floor.
She was stark fucking naked beneath it. My jaw nearly hit the fucking mattress. “You’ve been basically naked since you got here?”
She gave me a coy little smile and nodded. “Surprise.”
“Fuck. If I’d known, we’d never even have made it out of the kitchen.” I shoved my jeans off, my underwear following them to the floor. I was already as hard as a fucking rock and she hadn’t even touched me yet.
But looking at her, I didn’t blame myself. So fucking sexy.
The soft curves, the elegant lines. Her full breasts and puckered nipples. Given enough time, I was pretty damn sure I’d be able to get right to the damn edge just by looking at her.
“Lie on your stomach,” she said.
My eyes dropped to my very obvious erection. “That might be hard.”
“The mattress is nice and soft. You’ll be fine.”
“It might be, but I’m not.”
She planted one knee on the edge of the mattress, her breasts swinging slightly as she moved. My mouth went dry. I was utterly mesmerized by her.
“Do you want the massage or not?”
“Definitely,” I murmured, following her instructions. I had to adjust myself several times, and I wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it didn’t matter.
The next thing I knew, Elyse straddled my hips and her hands landed on my back. A loud groan rumbled out of me when I felt her wet heat against my bare skin, and just like that, I was halfway to fucking heaven.
Chapter 30
Elyse
Jordan’s muscles quivered and bunched beneath my hands as I moved them up and down his back, stroking his shoulders, his strong arms. Pretty much every inch of him I could get my hands on.
It was insane how turned on I was by him, by the sounds he made, or the involuntary movements. Then again, everything about him turned
me on. But especially seeing how quickly he’d gotten all the way turned on just by looking at me.
The man made me feel like a goddess. Surely, that means he’s the one.
As soon as the thought crossed my mind—again, since it seemed I was totally hung up on it all of a sudden—I shoved it away. Right now, I didn’t want to worry about that. All I wanted was to be here in this moment with Jordan.
I wanted to savor every touch, every taste. I wanted to commit every sound to memory and let my fingers explore him like it was my very first time. Sex with Jordan had always been mind-blowing, and I’d come to the conclusion earlier that it was probably a very big plus in the “one I want to settle down with” column, but I wanted tonight to be the stuff of legends for him.
I didn’t only want to blow his mind. I wanted to work my way into his heart and soul. When he thought about wanting to settle down, I wanted him to stop thinking about doing it with someone else. I wanted to be so deeply embedded in him that I was the only person he could imagine doing it with.
Just for tonight, I wanted to be his and for him to be truly mine. Body, mind, and soul. Just for this one night, I needed to know what that would feel like.
Because truth be told, it already felt like I belonged to him that way. And not just for tonight.
As my hands glided up and down the strong ropes of muscle in his back, I couldn’t imagine anyone else ever touching him like this. I didn’t want to.
He moaned as I slid my hands around his hips, retreating without pushing them between the mattress and his body. I realized that in thinking about what I wanted tonight to be and to mean to us, I was missing the actual moments I’d wanted to remember.
“Jesus, Elyse,” he bit out when I ran both hands down his muscular inner thighs. “What happened to massaging my neck? You know that’s not where the neck is located, right?”
Have Your Way With Me Page 19
