“You’re always welcome here, Elyse.” It just sucked to know she would probably never be coming here again, no matter how welcome she was. “So, what’s this about leaving?”
“I’m considering going back to California. That’s why I went to Kole’s yesterday, to talk to him about it.”
“Why?” I bit out, struggling with pain from the brand-new rip that had just been made in my heart. “Please don’t. Elyse, I know it’s not up to me and I know we’re not together anymore, but I can’t be that far away from you again.”
She blew out a breath. “And I can’t be this close to you.”
If I hadn’t already been sitting, that little revelation would have knocked me right to my ass. “Why not? I know where we stand. I know you don’t really want to see me and I promise I’d stay away from you.”
“It’s not that.” Her gaze dropped to her hands. “It’s about what I said earlier, Jordan. I made a mistake when I broke up with you. I was so consumed by the emotions I felt that morning that I didn’t think anything through. Which is also why I wanted to apologize to you. There are a lot of things I never should have said.”
“You’re forgiven,” I said, and she really was. Although I’d been angry about all the bullshit she’d spewed, it was only because I couldn’t believe that she’d believe stuff like that. If she didn’t believe it, we were all good here. “I know you were upset and know we didn’t get a chance to talk. It was just a misunderstanding. If we’d had even two more minutes before Kole got there, I’m sure we could have avoided a lot of hurt.”
“Yeah, but we didn’t have those minutes,” she said, her voice thick with regret. “I’m so sorry, Jordan. I just felt so lost and shocked and hurt and—”
I got up from the armchair and went to her, dropping to my knees in front of the couch and bringing my hands up to cup her face. I knew I had no right to touch her like this anymore, but I couldn’t stop myself. Not when she looked like she was about to burst into tears.
“I know, baby. I know. Neither of us handled ourselves well that morning. Both of us made mistakes.”
“Yeah, but I’m the only one who broke us up,” she said, her voice quivering. “I broke things off with you, Jordan. You’re the only guy in the world for me and now I don’t get to be with you because I fucked up.”
Everything in me stilled, my entire world view narrowing only to her. I even stopped breathing until I realized I needed to drag in some air to be able to speak. “Why are you leaving then?”
“Because I fucked up and now I can’t be with you. I can’t stay here and watch you move on with someone else. The only way I can stay is if I can be with you.”
“What about Kole?” The question just went shooting out of my mouth. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many more questions I wanted to ask, but I guessed it made sense why that was the first one out.
“Kole may not understand, but this is my life. I won’t have him calling the shots any more than he already has.” She sighed and lifted her head ever so slightly, so much hope shining in her eyes. “I told him yesterday that what we had has nothing to do with him, and when I left, I realized it was still true. Yes, he was hurt. Yes, he’s my brother and your best friend, but that doesn’t mean he’s a part of our relationship. He can’t forbid us from being together if we want to be. So this is up to you. I want to be with you. The question is whether you still want to be with me.”
I raised myself up on my knees and slid one of my hands to her chin while the other removed the coffee cup from her hands. “There’s no question there, baby. Of course, I want to be with you.”
“Good, because I can’t lose you again,” she said, leaning forward and running her nose along the length of mine, her eyes intense on mine. “You said you loved me yesterday.”
“Yeah, I vaguely recall saying something like that.”
She swatted my arm gently, a smile tugging at her lips. “Did you mean it? Do you love me?”
“Yes,” I said without a moment’s hesitation. “I love you so fucking much it hurts. I always have. That was what I was going to tell you that night we sneaked out to watch that concert.”
“I asked you about that night. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it was hardly like I could tell you I loved you ten years down the line. You’d have thought I was insane.”
“Okay, maybe a little,” she agreed. Then she finally closed the last bit of distance between our mouths and kissed me.
Thank. Fucking. God I brushed my damn teeth.
Chapter 38
Elyse
Jordan’s hands cradled my face, his kiss unlike anything I’d experienced before. There had never been any doubt in my mind that he was among the top kissers in the world, but this kiss was next level, even for him.
His lips were soft and firm, moving with mine like they had been handcrafted to fit there. Callused palms on my cheeks, he angled my head to give him better access and swept his tongue across mine.
He was kissing me like I held the answers to every question he’d ever had, like I was his dream come true. In that moment, it really felt like I was.
I believed him when he said he loved me. Despite everything we’d been through recently, I had seen the truth of it in his eyes and heard it in his voice. Now he was showing me exactly how much he loved me in the best possible way.
My hands tangled into his soft hair, holding me to him like I was never going to let him go. It was pretty damn accurate, though, because I was never going to let go of him again. He was mine, finally, truly mine just like I’d always felt him to be.
I gasped when he nipped my lower lip, moaning as he lifted himself higher on his knees to press his chest against mine. One of his arms slid around my hips and hauled me closer to him, shifting me so I was perched on the very edge of his couch.
He was kneeling right up against it, his already hardening cock grinding into me through way too many layers of clothing. Groaning as he felt my heat, he slowed the kiss and looked into my eyes, his filled with so much love and intensity and heat that I could barely stand it.
“We don’t have to do anything,” he whispered against my lips. “Just kissing you again is more than enough for me.”
I scraped my fingers over his scalp, holding his gaze. “We don’t have to, no. But I want you to make love to me, Jordan.”
His lips parted on a low moan, his eyelids shuttering as his pupils grew until there was only the barest ring of forest green left around them. “God, you have no idea how much I love hearing you say that.”
With the lightest of kisses to the tip of my nose, he rose to his feet and held his hand out for mine. I took it, allowing him to pull me up before following him to his bedroom.
Silently laying me diagonally across his big bed, he brought his lips back to mine and branded me with languid, passionate kisses that took my breath away. Every brush of his tongue against mine sent sparks flying to my core, igniting an ache that eventually became unbearable.
I squirmed beneath him, rocking my hips against his punishing erection and moaning at the relief it brought. Jordan pulled away from me, a smile forming on his lips. “Trust me. I feel the same way, but we’re taking this slow. We’re making love here, remember?”
“I think I changed my mind,” I said between heavy pants of labored breaths. “Let’s just fuck instead.”
“No can do.” He lowered his mouth to my neck, bathing it with soft kisses as he made his way down. “That was the first time I’ve told a woman that I love her, and I’ve been waiting a long fucking time to be able to say that to you. I want to celebrate that I’m finally allowed to say it now and I want to do it properly.”
My protests died on my tongue. Sure, I wanted him more than I wanted my next breath, but how I could argue with that? “Carry on, then. Just don’t take it too slowly.”
He smirked up at me, running his hands down my sides and then sliding them under my shirt. His fingers caressed my stomach,
his thumbs tracing the curve underneath my breast. “I won’t, but I am going to savor every minute of this.”
“So am I,” I moaned as he ran his hands higher, his fingers ghosting across my hard nipples. I lifted one of my hands to his face, guiding his mouth back to mine as the other slid under his shirt to place my palm on the bare skin at the small of his back.
As he kissed me, he slipped one hand away from me to tug his shirt off, his mouth seeking mine out again as soon as the fabric had passed it. Suddenly, there was nothing I wanted more in the world than to feel his skin against mine, so I withdrew my hands and gently pushed at his chest before lowering them to the hem of my shirt.
With a little help from him, I lifted myself up so he could pull it off. While my shoulders were away from the mattress, he reached around to unhook my bra and slid the straps down my arms to discard my underwear with my shirt.
I expected him to lean back down to carry on kissing me, but he didn’t. He sat back on his heels between my knees and raked a red-hot gaze over my exposed abdomen. His fingers trailed lightly over my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“You are, without a doubt, the most perfect woman I have ever seen,” he said. “So damn beautiful. I have no idea how I’m going to be able to keep my hands off you from now on. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to stop myself from touching you all the time before, but now?”
“Now you never have to keep your hands off me again,” I replied. “But I do know how difficult it was for you because it was just as difficult for me. I don’t plan on ever holding back again.”
I ran my fingertips up and down his abs, following the sculpted lines formed by the muscles there. His stomach dipped under my touch, a shiver traveling through him. “You know that means we’re probably not going to be able to go out in public for a while, right? If we can’t stop touching each other and we both refuse to hold back ever again, we should stay indoors to keep from scarring innocents and children for life.”
I smiled but shook my head. “No, there’s been enough hiding in public. I want the world to know that you’re mine and I can’t wait to show them. I don’t think you realize that even just holding your hand at the store or walking along the beach would be a dream come true for him.”
“Same,” he agreed. “So publicly acceptable touching while out in public and this every day when we’re home.”
“Home?” I tilted my head on the mattress, my brows pulling together slightly as I noticed the determined gleam in his eyes. “I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t my home. Let’s just say this kind of touching as often as possible when we’re alone.”
“Nope, as often as possible isn’t going to cut it for me. It’s going to have to be every day.” He expelled a quiet breath, reached for my hands, and held tightly onto both of them as he looked me right in the eyes. “Move in with me, Elyse? Please.”
My eyes widened and my heart suddenly started hammering for an entirely different reason than before. “Move in with you? Isn’t it a bit soon for that?”
“No,” he said firmly. “We’ve waited long enough, spent enough time apart to last me a lifetime.”
Hope flashed in his eyes as he studied mine. Then he broke eye contact to press kisses to my lips, my jaw, my eyelids while speaking between them. “I want to come home to you every day for the rest of my life. I want to wake up next to you, cook for you, and clean up after you. I want to argue about what to have for dinner and see your toothbrush right next to mine.”
“Wait a second.” I sat up a little, releasing his hands to prop myself up on my elbows as I arched my brows. “The rest of your life? Are you—”
“I’m not proposing,” he said, a fierce look creeping into his eyes, “but I am going to eventually. If you’ll have me. For now, I’m only asking you to live with me.”
“Oh, right, only that, huh?” I teased, planting my hands at the nape of his neck and playing with the ends of his hair. “Well, if that’s all you’re asking, then yes. I’ll live with you, but we’re going to have to come up with a way to decide whose place we’ll be living in because I love Sunshine Cottage. I don’t want to leave it behind yet.”
“I’ll move in with you then.” There was no trace of hesitation anywhere. “I don’t give a fuck where we are, as long as we’re together.”
Surprise made my eyes flare wider. “You’re giving up your house, just like that?”
“Just like that.” He slid his fingers under my thumb to ensure I would hold his gaze. “I’d do anything for you. All you ever have to do is ask.”
“I love you,” I said, suddenly realizing that I hadn’t said it back to him before. “I love you so much.”
His lips spread into a smile so wide and beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. “I know. I love you, too.”
Without another word, his mouth slammed back into my mine and he kissed me deeply while removing his shorts and underwear. I wiggled out of my panties and he helped with my skirt.
Once we were both fully naked, his fingers slid into my pussy and I lost myself to the blissful oblivion he catapulted me into. Two climaxes had left me panting and quivering before he finally positioned himself between my legs.
Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and his jaw was tight. “I want to feel you properly today. I’m clean.”
“So am I. I’ve never told you before because it never came up and I wasn’t sure if it would freak you out if I just brought it up out of the blue, but I have the birth control implant.”
“Fuck yes. Just never tell me why you got it, okay?”
“I didn’t get it because I wanted to do this with another guy.” I rolled my eyes at the direction I knew his thoughts had taken but smiled when I saw the relief that my statement brought to his eyes. “I got it for myself. For my own protection.”
“Okay.” He ran his nose down the length of mine, his eyes on mine as I felt his tip against me, ready to enter me bare for the first time.
With one powerful thrust, he buried himself inside me and shuddered, screwing his eyes shut as he bottomed out. “Fuck. You feel so damn good. Too good.”
“So do you,” I breathed. “Don’t hold back, Jordan. Trust me. I’m going to be right there with you.”
He held my eyes, then nodded swiftly before he drew his hips back and slammed them into me again. He set the perfect pace, my own hips rising to meet his on every thrust. Too soon, I felt myself cresting the edge yet again, flying over it with a shower of exquisite sparks that curled my toes and made me cry out his name.
Jordan followed me over, his breathing becoming as choppy and uneven as the final few thrusts. I felt him emptying himself deep inside of me, holding on to him for long minutes after as we both struggled to catch our breath.
“I love you,” he whispered before resting his head in the crook of my neck. My fingers trailed the hard muscles in his back, my entire being filled with love and joy.
It was almost impossible to think that only twenty-four hours ago, I’d been devastated and seriously considering moving back to California, to think that if I hadn’t gone to talk to Kole about it I never would have known what Jordan told him and I might not have been back in his arms right now.
“What made you go tell Kole the truth yesterday?” I asked, voicing the question that had been on my mind from the minute I’d walked into my brother’s house yesterday.
I felt his shoulders shrug, his fingers dancing across my stomach and his breath fanning out against my skin. “I love both of you. I couldn’t hide the truth any longer. Hiding this from him has never been what I wanted. I know it was necessary, but so was telling him the truth.”
Chapter 39
Jordan
“It’s your one-week anniversary today.” Mauli wagged his eyebrows at me and gave me a shit-eating grin. “You got any big plans to celebrate?”
“Yeah,” I smirked, “but none you need to know about.”
He laughed, shaking his head at me. “I’m ass
uming you’ve gotten laid more this week than I have in my whole life.”
“Let’s just say that sharing a bed every night has its perks.” I tossed the pineapple I’d just picked into the bag.
Mauli’s head was still shaking as he looked over at me. “I still can’t believe you moved in with her on the same day you told her you loved her for the first damn time. Talk about moving fast.”
“It’s been more than a decade in the making,” I shot back. “If that’s fast, I don’t think life is long enough to take things slow.”
He dipped his head. “I suppose if you look at it that way, you moved at the pace of a fucking snail. Still though, moving in with a woman only hours after you woke up having been broken up with by the same woman is impressive.”
“That’s just how I roll.” I winked at him, unable to stop smiling. It had been a whole week since Elyse and I had made up, then made up again and again, and in all that time, I didn’t think I’d stopped smiling even once.
Seriously, I woke up smiling and I fell asleep smiling. Mauli rolled his eyes at me. “Have you two decided if you’re going to stay at her place or find a new one yet?”
“We’re going to stay at Sunshine Cottage for now. Then within the next year or so, we’ll start looking for a bigger place together.”
On our first night at Sunshine Cottage, Elyse had surprised me by telling me that she thought it was time for her to start planning her future. With me.
I’d been thrilled.
We’d sat down after dinner and talked about things we’d never talked about before, where we wanted to be in our relationship in a year and then five from now. What Elyse wanted to achieve professionally and where we wanted to live.
Our goals were aligned relationship and house-wise. Both of us wanted to get married, but we agreed we’d wait at least one year before revisiting the idea. There had been enough change in our lives in the last few months, so we’d decided to simply enjoy where we were for now without changing anything else.
Have Your Way With Me Page 24
