Provoked
Page 15
I rolled my eyes, continuing to lead him away into the main part of the zoo. He really did have a one track mind when it came to me. And I couldn’t hide the fact that I loved it either.
Dante in the bedroom made my toes curl.
Literally.
***
The rest of the day was almost a blur. I hadn’t felt so happy and free in such a long time. I even got Dante to admit he liked watching the lions and tigers. There was just something so majestic about them. He told me I got all gooey eyed and misty when I was around animals and it was ‘cute as fuck’. His exact words.
He’d let me get several items in the gift shop and taken so many selfies of us with the animals, I was surprised his phone memory wasn’t full. I was going to look at them all later. It’d remind me of how much fun we’d had together. How it’d felt so real between us. Because it was real. Me and Dante. We were something. We meant something. And I couldn’t be without him.
We were laughing as we got through the front door. I almost didn’t notice Brent hovering, a concerned look on his face. Dante frowned when he saw him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Zach is here. He’s been waiting for half an hour. He’s not happy with you. I had to lie about where the two of you were and why you weren’t answering your phone,” Brent hissed.
Dante swore under his breath.
“Go upstairs,” he said to me, his voice low. “Stay in my room and hide this stuff.”
He pushed me towards the stairs. I looked back at him. He gave me a tight smile. This wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all.
“What did you tell him?”
“That you’d taken her to a doctor’s appointment,” Brent said.
“Okay. Where is he?”
I started up the stairs, watching the two of them over my shoulder. I didn’t want to see Zach.
“Dining room.”
Dante sighed, running a hand through his hair. He nodded at Brent and strode towards the room he’d only shown me once. It was a formal dining area, but he never used it.
I hurried up the stairs and the second flight. When I got in his room, I stuffed my gift bags from the zoo in the wardrobe, kicked off my trainers and pulled off my coat. I sat on the bed, unsure what to do with myself.
We’d had the most amazing day together and now, Zach could possibly ruin everything. My heart went out to Dante having to deal with it. I worried. All his walls would go right back up. Everything we’d shared hidden under a carefully constructed mask. One I would have to wear too.
Having Zach here was a painful and stark reminder. I was their prisoner even if I didn’t feel that way about being with Dante any longer. All of this could go wrong and it probably would. Who were we kidding? I still had no idea what was really going on. What my father had given me to Dante for.
I put my head in my hands. What a complete fucking mess. I couldn’t afford to forget the sinister side of this relationship between the two of us. How I’d come here. How he’d told me I was their property. My heart cracked, fracturing into tiny pieces.
I tried to stop the tidal wave of doubt threatening to burst through. What if Dante was lying to me about how he felt? What if all these moments we’d shared meant nothing to him? What if today was part of his elaborate plan to destroy me completely by making me fall for him?
None of that seemed logical or rational. I knew the truth. I’d seen it in his eyes. In the way he touched me. Held me. The freedom we found together when we had sex. The moments of pure ecstasy and bliss.
I wrapped my arms around my chest. What Dante and I had surpassed anything else I’d ever felt about another person. I needed to remember that. Needed to focus on how he made me feel. I couldn’t let Zach being here ruin it. I had to be strong. Dante would need that from me. I was determined to be exactly what he required.
The door opened. I looked up as Brent walked in. His face was grave, his eyes betraying his inner turmoil.
“You’re wanted downstairs for dinner. I suggest you put on something appropriate for it. I’ll wait outside.”
“Brent… Why is Zach here?”
“I honestly don’t know, but you should be prepared. D said you’d know what to do.”
I nodded and he left, closing the door behind him. I got up and went to the wardrobe. Searching through the rack, I found a rather demure black dress. I pulled off my clothes and put it on before slipping on a pair of black ballet flats. I brushed my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. The dress fell just above my knees. The long sleeves were sheer black lace.
Time to face the music.
I walked out of the room. Brent nodded at me. We walked down the stairs in silence. I felt sick to my stomach. Nerves coiled inside me. Sitting through a dinner with just me, Dante and Zach filled me with dread.
“It’ll be okay,” Brent said to me in a low voice when we stood outside the dining room door.
He opened it and I stepped in. There were three places set. Zach sat at the head of the table, Dante was to his left and the last plate was on his right. I walked around the table and sat down.
“Good evening, Liora,” Zach said.
“Good evening, Zach.”
I looked down at my place setting. Looking at Dante would kill me right now so I didn’t.
“Dante tells me you had a check-up today. You’re not unwell, are you?”
“I’m quite well.”
What the hell else did I say? What kind of shit did Dante expect me to make up? I wished we’d had time to talk. I clenched my fist under the table, digging my nails into my palm. I had a part to play. He’d explained the rules to me. I’d do this for him. I had to.
“Sir wanted me to have a full health check amongst other things.”
I dared glance at Zach. His smile chilled me to the bone.
“I see.” He turned to Dante. “She’s a little less… defiant.”
“We’ve had words, Zach. She knows how to behave, don’t you, pet?”
Nausea coiled in my stomach.
“Yes, sir.”
This was just us playing our parts. No matter how much I wanted to run from the room and hide upstairs, I couldn’t. I had to see this through.
Two of the staff came in with the first course. It was a cold dish of an assortment of beetroot, tomatoes and burrata cheese with micro herbs. Dante and Zach started, but I waited. This felt stupid. Zach looked at me, his eyes narrowing.
“Aren’t you going to start?”
“Sir has not given me permission,” I replied.
He looked back at Dante who shrugged and sat back. I finally looked directly at him. The mask was there. The sight of it almost crippled me. His blue eyes were sharp and cold. His whole posture was off. It made me feel incredibly alone.
“Come here and bring your plate with you,” he said.
I stood up, picked up my plate and walked around the table, coming to a standstill next to him.
“Why don’t we show Zach exactly how obedient you are, hmm?”
“Yes, sir.”
He pointed at the floor.
“Kneel and put your plate on the floor.”
I held back a retort. What the hell had gone on between him and Zach before I came down? I couldn’t think of any other reason he’d be doing this.
I lowered myself down onto the floor and knelt at his side, placing the plate down in front of me. He gave me an approving nod. I stared up at him, trying not to betray the horror I felt at what I thought he was going to ask me to do next.
“Pets kneel at their master’s feet. Have you forgotten that?”
“No, sir.”
“What else do pets do?”
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
No. Please don’t make me say that, Dante. Please.
“I’m waiting.”
“They eat off the floor, sir.”
He indicated the plate with his head. I died a little inside.
“Good girls get rewards, pet. Now be a good girl and eat for your master.”
“Yes, sir.”
I lowered my hands to the floor. The humiliation burnt into my skin. This went far beyond anything Dante told me I might have to do. Having to eat like an animal on the floor. Like his dog. An obedient bitch for her master. All of it was mortifying. And the very worst part of it all? Because it was Dante doing it. Because he was telling me what to do. Because I’d given him power and control over me. My body responded to it in a way I was not comfortable with. Especially not with Zach being there. Was I really that enamoured with Dante even this would provoke a reaction?
I pressed my knees closer together, trying to ignore what my body was doing. Tears pricked at my eyes. And I lowered my head towards the plate and ate. I ate everything on that plate like I was a dog whilst Dante and Zach continued on with a mundane conversation above me.
I probably had beetroot juice all over my face amongst other things. Raising myself back up on my knees, I waited patiently. When they finished, Dante finally looked down at me. He handed me his napkin. I took it, wiping my face before folding it up and placing it in my lap.
“Good girl.”
“Thank you, sir.”
He reached over and stroked my hair.
“You may eat the rest of the meal at the table.”
“Thank you very much, sir.”
“Take your plate and go back to your seat.”
“Yes, sir.”
I picked up the plate, held the napkin in my hand and got off my knees. I walked around the table and sat down, placing the plate in front of me. I held the napkin under the table between my fingers, pulling it this way and that in agitation.
“Give him your napkin, girl,” Zach grunted.
I almost jumped. I hurriedly picked up my own napkin and slid it across the table to Dante.
“Yes, sorry, sir. I apologise.”
Dante nodded, taking it and unfolding it across his lap. The staff came back in and took our plates. I kept my eyes on my lap. The shame I felt at being aroused by Dante telling me to eat food off the floor almost tore me in half. Why the fuck did that turn me on? It was awful. Never had I felt so degraded in my entire life. Not even when I realised my father had basically given me up to a man who was keeping me like I was his property.
No matter how I felt about Dante, none of this was right. I couldn’t feel this way. I couldn’t understand why my body would react like that. Did I desire Dante’s dominance so much even that would get me going? What kind of sick joke was this? I’d been betrayed by my own body.
The rest of the meal passed without incident. Neither Zach nor Dante engaged me in conversation. I was allowed to eat in peace. By the time we’d finished dessert, I was exhausted and wanted to be far away from this room.
“Pet, you’re dismissed,” Dante said.
I looked up at him. His blue eyes held just a tiny hint of an apology in them. It made my heart sink. Could I even forgive him for putting me through this?
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
I rose from the table.
“It was nice to see you, Zach. I hope to see you again soon.”
“Goodnight Liora.”
I gave him a smile before I gave them both a little curtsey and walked out of the room. Brent was in the hallway. I felt like shit and I needed something to make it all go away.
“Will you walk upstairs with me?” I asked.
“If you want.”
We walked up the first flight of stairs in silence. Then I couldn’t hold back tears any longer. They flowed down my face. I tried not to make a sound, but it was useless. Brent looked over at me, frowning when he realised I was crying. I ignored him, walking up the second flight of stairs until we stood outside Dante’s bedroom door together.
“Liora…”
“Can… can I have… please, I need… something,” I sobbed.
“What happened?”
“I can’t… don’t make me say it.”
He fidgeted, rocking back and forth on his heels.
“Fuck it.”
He stepped towards me and tugged me into his chest. I stood there with his arms around me, crying on his shirt.
“Whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
“It… it won’t.”
He rubbed my back.
“It will. D will make it better for you.”
I stiffened. The mention of Dante was like a knife to the chest. He was the reason I was crying. What he’d made me do. How it’d made me feel. How it’d made me face the fact that I craved Dante dominating me on every level. I hated it all. I hated everything about this situation.
I stepped away from Brent and his arms dropped. I looked at our feet.
“No… he won’t. Goodnight Brent.”
I turned away, opened the bedroom door and closed it behind me. I couldn’t face being around anyone. I tore off the dress and kicked off my shoes. Stripping off my bra, I pulled out a long t-shirt and tugged it over my head. Turning out the overhead light, I crawled into bed and sobbed into the pillow.
I was done with this. I’d had enough. I didn’t want to want Dante any longer. How could I want a man like him? One who got off on dishing out pain. And how could I be a woman who allowed a man to hurt her because it aroused her? None of it made sense any more. This wasn’t normal, was it? How could it be? I knew people enjoyed BDSM, but that wasn’t me.
That’s a lie and you know it. You want Dante’s control. You love it when he hurts and fucks you. You crave him telling you what to do.
I sobbed harder, trying to drown out the voice in my head. It was no use. That voice was right. I did enjoy every part of it. And it brought me nothing but shame for ever feeling that way.
The door to the bedroom swung open. I saw him silhouetted by the light from the hallway. He shut the door behind him, plunging us back into darkness.
“Brent said you were crying.”
I didn’t answer him. How could I? I heard him move towards the bed before it dipped from his weight. He reached out, his hands finding me. Ripping back the covers, he tugged me against his chest.
“I’m sorry. You know I’m sorry I had to do that to you.”
I cried harder, wracking sobs escaping my mouth. Sickened with myself for finding solace in his arms around me. Hating myself for wanting his comfort.
“Shh, I’m sorry. Don’t cry.”
“It… it… humiliating.”
He stroked my hair, kissing the top of my head before he leant his cheek against it.
“I know. I’m so, so sorry. He was such a fucking arsehole to me. Please understand. Please know it was so he’d believe me. Believe us. I never wanted to make you do that, Liora. That’s not how we work and you know it.”
I pulled myself out of his grasp. He didn’t know what I was actually upset about. He didn’t understand. How could he? I’d never told him how ashamed I felt.
“No… I’m… I’m not upset… Dante,” I sobbed. “I’m not upset about that.”
He tried to pull me back into his arms, but I shoved him away from me.
“What are you upset about, then? What did I do wrong?”
I wrapped my arms around myself and took a shuddering breath. I had to be honest with myself and him. Be honest about what was really going on. If I didn’t tell him how I felt, then he’d never understand.
“I’m upset with myself and you.”
“Why?”
“Even… even though it was humiliating… even though I should’ve hated you making me eat off the floor like a dog… I… I…”
“You what, Liora?”
“You telling me what to do… It… it made me wet,” I whispered. “I hated it. I feel so ashamed of myself.”
I looked at my hands.
“I’ve never been more degraded or humiliated in my life and the worst part is I feel betrayed by my own bo
dy. Don’t you understand? How could I feel that way with him right there? How could I still want you when he was staring at me, making me feel like I’m some kind of animal?”
Chapter Fourteen
Dante
Having Zach here this evening made my blood boil. He’d fucked up our perfect day together. Ruined it completely. And now she was crying. Crying and telling me how humiliated she was about finding me ordering her around a turn on. How she’d hated it because he was there.
I didn’t know what the fuck to do, think or say. I thought she’d be upset about the dinner, about what I’d made her do. This was not at all what I’d been expecting to find when I came upstairs after seeing Zach out.
He’d told me in no uncertain terms before dinner if he didn’t see progress this evening, he’d take her away and I’d never see her again. The thought of that damn near fucking killed me. So I did what I had to. I never wanted to make her eat off the floor like an animal. I’d seen Zach do worse things to women, but I couldn’t subject Liora to his methods.
He’d slapped me on the back when she left the room and told me I’d become the perfect son. That made my skin crawl. His hand on me. The words which left his mouth. All of it caused my stomach to rebel against me. I’d had to bite back my disgust and need to be sick. I was thankful he left quickly rather than forcing me to be in his company any further.
And then Brent told me she’d cried on his shoulder. I literally couldn’t get up the stairs fast enough. Seeing her huddled under the covers, the awful sobs coming from the bed. That almost decimated me.
I had to say something to her. Break this silence between us. I had to acknowledge what she’d told me. I knew what I had to do. How to fix it for her. How to make her feel better. To help her understand she shouldn’t be ashamed of her desires.
I reached over and turned on the lamp. Her tear streaked face and bloodshot eyes made my heart fracture, but I had to do this. I pulled out some tissues from the box on the bedside table and took her face in my hand. I gently wiped away her tears. She stared at me, green eyes wide with self-loathing.
“I want you to come with me,” I said.
“Why? Didn’t you hear what I just said.”