The Reclamation (The Club Trilogy Book 2)
Page 5
Jonas grabs my hand and squeezes it. And with that simple gesture, he’s telling me it’s Jonas and me against the whole world. Screw anyone else who doesn’t believe in true love. We know it’s real.
Josh looks incredulous. “Seriously?” There’s a beat as he studies Jonas. “Did you join The Club looking for love?’”
Jonas blanches. He looks at me, not sure how to respond. But Jonas doesn’t need my permission to tell the truth. I know exactly why he joined The Club. And I don’t care.
I nod, encouraging him.
Jonas brings the back of my hand to his lips and lays a soft kiss on my skin, his eyes burning with intensity. “No, I didn’t.”
“Well, neither did I. I can’t imagine anyone ever would. That’s pretty far-fetched—even if someone’s normal.” He winces at me. “Sorry, Sarah.”
I nod. It’s okay.
“I’m pretty sure I joined The Club because I was having some kind of mental breakdown,” Jonas says softly, almost inaudibly. “Again.”
Josh looks absolutely shocked.
“Though I didn’t realize it at the time, of course.” He looks at me pointedly. “I joined The Club because I didn’t understand what was really going on with me, what I really wanted—or what I needed.” He squeezes my hand. “I was spiraling, man.”
My heart is thumping out of my chest.
Jonas’ eyes are boring holes into mine. He’s giving me that “I’m going to swallow you whole” look—and, holy hell, I want him to swallow me whole.
Josh clearly doesn’t know what the hell to say.
The silence is deafening.
“Well, all righty, then,” Kat finally says.
Josh exhales. “Holy shit, Jonas.” He rubs his hands over his face, clearly at a loss as to how to handle his ever-complicated brother. “I’m all in when it comes to protecting Sarah and Kat, okay? Whatever it takes—you know that, right?”
“I know.” Jonas exhales. “Thanks.”
“I just think maybe you’re overreacting about—”
“Fuck, Josh!” Jonas leaps to a stand and glowers over Josh on the couch. “These motherfuckers threatened my girl and her best friend. Do you understand? They crossed the fucking line!”
Josh stands and opens his mouth to speak, but Jonas cuts him off.
“I’m not letting them near her.”
He pulls me up off the couch and into him like he’s defending me from Josh—which is, I must say, a certifiably crazy thing to imply.
“I’m gonna protect her—which means decimating the fuck out of them. Do you understand me? Decimating them.” He’s shaking. His muscles are bulging around me.
“Whoa,” Josh says. “Calm down.”
“I’m not gonna let it happen again, Josh. I couldn’t survive it this time—I know I couldn’t. I barely survived it before. You didn’t see what I saw—the blood. It was everywhere. You weren’t there.” He shuts his eyes tight. “You didn’t see her.” He’s flipping out. Oh my God, he’s totally flipping out. “I’m not gonna let it happen again. I can’t do it again.”
His grip on me is stifling, but I wouldn’t dream of pushing away, not right now.
Kat’s mouth hangs open. I haven’t had a chance to tell her anything about Belize—or about Jonas’ tragic childhood.
Josh looks anguished. “Jonas... Oh my God.”
“I thought you’d understand, of all people.” Jonas’s voice is thick with emotion. “I don’t want to do this alone, but I will. I’ll do whatever I have to do, don’t you understand?” He squeezes me even tighter. “I can’t let anything happen to her. Not again. Never again.”
Oh my God, I’m turned on. Totally, thoroughly, completely turned on.
Poor Josh’s face is stricken. “Ladies, could you give us a minute?” he says. He’s at a total loss here. “Please.”
Jonas juts his chin and squeezes me even tighter.
“Jonas,” I whisper, my lips brushing softly against his jawline. “Talk to your brother, baby. He’s on your team.” My lips find his neck. His skin is hot. He’s shaking. His grip on me is like a vise.
I’m not completely sure what’s going on inside Jonas’ head, but I’m damn near positive Josh is the one who can help him get his mind right again.
I reach up and touch his chiseled face. “Your brother’s on your side,” I say quietly. I brush my lips against his neck. He presses himself into me and I feel his erection against me. “Just listen to him,” I continue. “He dropped everything to come here for you. Listen to him.”
Jonas lets go of my hand, grabs my face with both hands, and kisses me like he owns me. Clearly, his kiss is meant to explain something to Josh, and not necessarily to me, but I’m not complaining. Yowza. He can use my lips to make a point to Josh any frickin’ time he likes.
Jonas pulls away from our kiss and looks fiercely at Josh, his nostrils flaring, daring him to contradict whatever statement he’s just made with that kiss. When Josh doesn’t speak, Jonas does.
“One can easily forgive a child who’s afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light,” he says, his chest heaving.
Chapter 4
Sarah
“Wow, Sarah, what the hell just happened?” Kat asks.
We’re sitting on Jonas’ balcony overlooking the twinkling lights of the Seattle skyline, drinking wine and finishing the sushi rolls Jonas ordered for us earlier. Josh and Jonas are inside, either talking or beating the crap out of each other. It’s not clear which. And I can’t stop thinking about that “let me show you what she means to me” kiss Jonas planted on my lips a few moments ago in front of Kat and Josh. Day-am. That was quite a kiss. Wooh! If that’s how crazy kisses, then keep bringing the crazy, baby. Please and thank you.
“Oh, Kat, there’s so much I’ve got to tell you.”
“Let’s start with what the hell Jonas was doing to you in his bedroom earlier. Holy Fornication, Batman! I didn’t try to hear, I promise—but it was unavoidable. He was either giving you the best damned orgasm of your life or murdering you—it sounded like you were dying a gruesome death in there.” She laughs.
Of all the word choices... Good Lord. “Oh my God, Kat, never, ever say anything like that around Jonas. Please.” I feel sick at the thought.
Kat’s eyes go wide. “Why?”
I tell Kat about the horrific trauma of Jonas’ childhood—about my poor, sweet Jonas witnessing his mother’s savage rape and murder as he watched from her closet, and how he’s blamed himself for her death ever since—with the cruel encouragement of his father.
“Oh my God,” Kat says softly. “That’s horrible.” Kat looks like she feels physically ill. “Wow.”
“And on top of that, his father killed himself when Josh and Jonas were seventeen.”
“Oh no.”
“And his dad left a suicide note that in some way blamed Jonas for everything.”
Kat is silent for a long moment. “Well, that sheds a whole new light on Jonas’ freak-out in there.”
“Yup.”
Kat’s thinking. “So Josh wasn’t there when his mom was killed? Just Jonas?”
“Just Jonas.” I exhale. Even talking about this stuff makes me ache all over.
“So judging by the conversation in there, that must be a ‘thing’ between them—‘You weren’t there, I was.’ Maybe some unresolved stuff?”
I nod. “I can’t imagine how their mother’s murder has messed them both up—plus their dad, too. Ugh. So horrible.”
“Ugh,” Kat agrees. She takes a long sip of her wine. “Obviously, Jonas got the worst of it, but God only knows what kind of head-trip Josh has gone through his whole life, too—maybe some kind of weird survivor’s guilt or something?” She sips her wine again.
She’s so right. I hadn’t thought about Josh’s journey in all this.
“Talk about a mind fuck for both of them,” Kat says. “Just growing up without a mom is tough enough, but add the rest on top of that
, too . . .”
I sigh. I feel ill.
“Well,” Kat exhales loudly. “Let’s talk about something happy now, shall we?”
“Yes, let’s.”
We clink glasses.
“Here’s a happy thought,” she says. “Jonas sure has an interesting book collection.”
I look at her quizzically.
“I went into his office to use his computer and wound up taking a little tour of his book shelf. How to Blow Her Mind. That one looked interesting. Female Orgasm: Unlocking the Mystery. Oh, and my favorite: Becoming a Sexual Samurai: Mastering the Art of Making Love.” She laughs. “Some interesting reading.”
I blush.
“You think Jonas might let me borrow some of his books? I think my next boyfriend should study them thoroughly and take a final exam.”
I can’t help but smile broadly. “Jonas firmly believes in striving for excellence in all he does.”
“Oh, yeah? He firmly believes in excellence, does he?”
I giggle and roll my eyes. “Jeez, I walked right into that one.”
“As usual.” She chuckles at me.
We both take long sips of our wine, grinning from ear to ear.
“So what do you think of Josh?” I ask, looking at her sideways. “From what I could see, you two were like boom goes the dynamite.”
Kat twists her mouth but doesn’t speak.
“He’s exactly your type, Kat.”
“I know.” She smirks. “Exactly. I must say, the guy is hot. But that whole thing about him joining The Club and how much he obviously enjoyed it . . .” She makes a face like she’s sniffing a dirty diaper. “It was a tad bit Douchey McDoucheypants for my taste.”
“Well, Jonas joined The Club, and he’s not a douche.”
“Well, yeah, as it turns out. But he was a bit of a douche at first, you have to admit.”
I purse my lips. “No. Jonas was never a douche. He was a cocky-bastard-motherfucker, but never a douche.”
“Oh, thanks for the clarification.” She shrugs. “Who knows, maybe Josh will turn out to be like Jonas—a knight in shining armor disguised as a cocky-bastard-motherfucker. Or maybe he’ll just turn out to be a cocky-bastard-motherfucker disguised as a douche.” She sighs loudly.
“I like Josh. He’s got a big heart. He dropped everything when Jonas called and said he needed him—no questions asked.”
“That true.” She smiles. “And I must admit, now that I know about his horrible childhood, I do so desperately want to fix him.”
“Oh boy. Good luck with that.” I sip my wine.
“Hey, you never know—I could be The One Girl in the Whole World Who Can Fix Him. It sure looks like you’ve fixed Jonas.”
“Ha! Oh yeah, as you just now so plainly witnessed, Jonas is totally, completely fixed.” I pat my palms together. “My work here is done.”
She laughs.
I sigh. “Jonas still has a long way to go to be cured of all that ails him, I do believe. But so do I. We’re undertaking a mutual effort.”
Kat smashes her lips together, genuinely touched. “I like that.”
I bite my lip. I’ve never said anything like that out loud about any man. But it’s true. We’re fixing each other.
Kat takes a bite of a spicy tuna roll. “Josh is definitely hot, though, I will say that.”
“You’re dying of curiosity about him, admit it.”
Kat takes another bite of sushi. She shrugs. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” I laugh. “It’s written all over your face. You’re dying.”
She laughs. “I’d sure like to know what the hell he was going to say about his application—”
“Oh my God, I know!”
“He was just about to say what he requested,” Kat squeals.
“And then he just shut his mouth and stopped talking all of a sudden.”
“Mid-sentence!’”
“And looked right at you, Kat.”
Kat shrieks with laughter. “I was like... yes?... and?... what?... Yes? You requested what in your application, Josh?” Kat throws her head back, howling with laughter.
“I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs when he didn’t finish that sentence.”
“Me, too.” Kat’s laughing so hard she’s crying. “I was peeing.” She wipes her eyes and exhales. “Oh, Sarah, we’re so bad.”
“We’re not bad—I’m bad. He’s not your boyfriend’s brother. I can’t be wondering this stuff about Josh—surely, I’m going to hell.”
“Ah, so Jonas is your boyfriend now? It’s official?”
I nod, blushing.
Kat nudges my shoulder. “Awesome, girl.”
I’m suddenly too flooded with happiness to reply. I still can’t believe he’s all mine.
Kat pauses, apparently deciding what to say. “He seems pretty intense, though, Sarah,” she finally says. Her tone has shifted. She’s warning me. She’s wary. “He’s not exactly the happy-go-lucky type.”
I shrug. Perhaps not. But she hasn’t seen what I’ve seen. She hasn’t seen Jonas scale a thirty-foot waterfall like he was climbing a step stool. She hasn’t seen him bite my ass (literally) and hoot with glee about getting to lick his baby’s sweet pussy. She hasn’t seen him laugh until he cried over something silly I’ve said. He sure seemed pretty happy-go-lucky during all those moments. And, anyway, happy-go-lucky isn’t everything. She wouldn’t question him if she’d seen the way he cried in my arms when he told me about his mother, or the way he looked when he held his matching friendship bracelet up to mine and told me we’re a perfect match.
“He told me he loves me,” I say quietly.
“Really?” She’s shocked. She wasn’t expecting that at all. “In Belize?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Wow. He said ‘Sarah, I love you?’”
I hesitate. “Well, no—not in those exact words.”
Her face falls.
“It’s complicated. He’s complicated. But trust me, he told me.”
She looks skeptical. And I don’t blame her. Last Kat heard, Jonas was Seattle’s King of the Man-Whores—with Stacy the Faker one night and me the next. She knows he took me to Belize on a whirlwind trip, of course, but she probably thinks we enjoyed some light-hearted fun in the sun. How could she ever understand what transpired between us down there—how our very souls grabbed ahold of each other? I can barely understand it myself. I’m sure she’s worried I’m just another one of Jonas’ many conquests—a passing distraction.
“Well, what exactly did he say to you?”
I sigh. There’s no way to explain what Jonas said and did in Belize, how he bared himself to me so completely—and how he finally got me to let go and surrender myself to him in ways I’ve never done before. It’s all too personal, anyway.
“Just trust me,” I say.
She frowns. She’s not at all convinced.
“He told me,” I mutter. “Even if he didn’t say the magic words.”
She nods, but I feel like she’s humoring me.
I sigh. She just doesn’t understand. Jonas told me his feelings the best way he knows how, and that’s enough for me. I love him, even if he can’t or won’t say, “I love you,” even if he never says those exact words. When it comes to Jonas, I don’t need conventional. I don’t need usual. I don’t need happy-go-lucky. I just need him.
The hard part, though, I must admit, is not letting those damned words slip out of my own mouth. Every time I look into his mournful eyes, every time I touch his taut skin, every time he makes love to me, every time he looks lost or swallowed alive by his demons, or holds me tight out of some frantic impulse to protect me, every time he makes me climax and scream his name, I desperately want to say those words to him.
But I can’t. I know I can’t—no matter how powerful the urge. Because, without a doubt, if I say those particular words to Jonas Faraday, they’ll scare the bajeezus out of him and blast our nascent relationship to Kingdom Come. I know it without a doub
t. And I’m fine with that. I really am. We’re mutually stricken with a serious mental disease—madness—something better and deeper and hotter and more beautiful than anything I’ve ever experienced before. And that’s enough. We don’t need three clichéd little words to make our love official. We just need each other.
All of a sudden, I can’t stand to be apart from him.
I stand, looking at my watch. It’s already close to one o’clock. This has been the longest day of my life—I woke up in frickin’ Belize this morning, for Pete’s sake. I stretch my arms above my head. Back to reality. I’ve got class tomorrow, homework to do. Study outlines to get from my study group. Oh shit, I’ve got to find a new job. Damn. And I can’t manage any of that without a good night’s sleep—not to mention without a laptop or textbooks or any of the clothes from my apartment. But I’ll figure all that out in the morning. Right now I want one thing. Jonas Faraday. Inside me.
“Come on,” I say to Kat. “Let’s go back inside.”
Jonas and Josh are sitting on the couch, talking calmly. Good sign.
Without a word, I waltz across the living room, right up to Jonas. I pull him up off the couch, press my body against his, take his face in my hands, and kiss him deeply.
“You take such good care of me,” I breathe into him. “Thank you.”
There’s no better way to tell Kat what Jonas means to me than to show her. If she doesn’t believe Seattle’s King of the Man-Whores has fallen desperately in love with me, if she doesn’t understand the depth of our emotional connection, if she can’t see the goodness radiating off him, the kindness, the beauty, that’s her problem, not mine. I know who he is and how he feels about me.
“You’re welcome,” Jonas says quietly. His face is on fire. He leans in and kisses me again—Kat and Josh be damned. When his tongue enters my mouth, my entire body sizzles with electricity. I can feel his erection nudging against me. Good thing, because I’ve got my own girlie version of an erection throbbing inside my panties, too.
“Have you two made nice?” I ask.