Until Next Time

by Dell, Justine

  Her eyes fell on the thorny stem sticking up from the middle of her potted fern in the window. The one Quinn had given her on their first date. She’d kept the stupid thing. She didn’t know why. She was a silly girl.

  As she gazed at the sharp thorns, she realized that the only thing in her life that had changed recently was Quinn. He’d pierced her senses from the get-go. He’d come into her life with his cool confidence and his odd take on death, asking all the rights questions, and giving her all the right answers to hers. He’d wedged himself into her life, smoothing out her thorns without her even realizing it.

  Piper choked on the piece of chocolate in her mouth. There was no denying why she was beginning to feel bad for not being there for Jessica. There were no other explanations as to why she was questioning her own beliefs and actions, why she was so emotional about that stupid box in the bottom of her closet, or why she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about all the losses she’d suffered. All the reasons Piper was the way that she was.

  It was Quinn. She shoved her mouth full of the last pieces of chocolate.

  Quinn was making her do something she’d never, ever wanted to do again.

  He was making her care.

  <<<<>>>>>

  Quinn bustled around his plane, checking all the specs and parts one more time before takeoff. After going through the checklist for what felt like the hundredth time, he snapped the pen back onto the clipboard with his sweaty fingers, handed it off to his mechanic, and headed out of the hangar and toward the baking evening sun.

  His fingers twitched as he strode across the tarmac toward the fence line, his eyes darting to and fro in the gathered crowd. Sweat beaded on the back of his neck and slid down his shirt. God, his flight suit was hot. And his nerves were making him jittery. He never got jittery before a show.

  He scanned the rows of people once more, finally spotting his grandpa sitting beneath an ancient oak tree on the only small hill in the whole place. Quinn lips quirked. Grandpa would’ve had to have gotten there several hours earlier for that prime spot. Someone—no doubt Quinn’s father—had set up a table with a red checkered table cloth. Well, Quinn’s mother had probably done the table cloth, and she had also furnished a huge spread of fruit kebobs, chips, and glasses of tall lemonade.

  Quinn spied his father standing off to the side of Grandpa’s chair, both their eyes focused high on the sky. Planes swooped and swirled above, showcasing the speed and handling ability of drill planes. Quinn missed those kinds of flights. Flights with a purpose. He’d long since had to give those up. But he still had his aerobatic plane, and thankfully, even after his accident, he was still able to fly. Not for the Air Force like he used to, but at least he got to soar into the clouds on his own time and show the heavens what he still had. Show his family what he could still do.

  He hurled his body over a low fence along the edge of airfield and made a beeline for his family. He wondered if Piper had made it. As he finished that thought, he caught sight of her cresting the little hill, his mother by her side.

  She was smiling, her hair in beautiful waves around her bare shoulders. The dress flapped in the summer wind, and Piper’s hand flew down around the skirt to keep it from blowing up. Her eyes were covered with sunglasses, and he suddenly thought she looked like she was exactly in her element—perfectly content and at ease with his family, and most important, happy to be here right now. But as he got a little closer, he realized the illusion of the sun and the wind and the heat.

  When Piper’s head swung towards him, the image he’d thought he’d seen vanished. Her hands were trembling a bit at her sides, clutching the fabric of her dress for dear life. Her head was bobbing as his mother spoke to her, but Quinn noticed the slight jerking of her head. She was wearing sunglasses, but Quinn bet if he saw her eyes, all he would see were the whites.

  Within seconds he was standing beside her, his arm around her waist. “Are you all right?”

  “No. Yes.” She twisted in his arms. “Are you wearing a flight suit?”

  With his free hand, he slid her glasses of her nose. Dear God, her eyes were as big as softballs. “Yes. This is an air show, Piper.”

  “He didn’t tell you?” His mother called out from behind them. “Macy and Kacey are in the show. All three of my boys are pilots.” Her proud tone couldn’t be mistaken.

  “No. No.” Piper’s voice gave away a bit. “I think Quinn left out that very important piece of information”

  “Well, it’s no matter,” his mother said. “Since their father and his father and his father…well, you know how that goes…were in the Air Force, I couldn’t keep my boys away. Not that their father would have let them go down a different path, mind you.” With a quick laugh, she walked to the table and grabbed up a kebob. “You hungry, Macy? It’s not good to fly on an empty stomach.”

  “I’m not hungry, Ma. Thanks, though.”

  Piper’s eyes narrowed and focused back on Quinn. “Did you leave something out?”

  Quinn brought his face close to hers, placing a chaste kiss on the tip of her nose. “You never asked me about my hobbies.”

  “I’ll make a mental note to start the inquiry as soon as we leave here…assuming you leave here alive.”

  Quinn’s grip on her waist tightened. “Does this scare you?”

  She broke her stare, her breath rushing out of her nose. “Yes.”

  His lips found her ear. “I’ll be fine, Piper. I promise.”

  “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”

  And just like that, she spun away from him and stomped down the hill, her wild hair and dress whipping in the wind.

  “Is she okay?” Ma asked.

  Quinn rubbed his chin, not really sure what happened. “I think she will be. Maybe she’s afraid a flying.”

  Ma held a kebob under his nose. “Eat this. And the next time you bring someone to an air show and plan to show off for them, make sure that planes are not on their biggest fear list.”

  He chuckled and took the fruit-laced stick. “Got it.”

  “Go and do us proud, son,” Grandpa called out from his chair.

  “He will, Dad,” Quinn’s father said. “The boys always do. Quinn, did you check the—”

  “Yes, sir,” Quinn answered the question before his father could rattle off a list of checks to the plane. “We checked everything—twice.”

  “Good boy.” He walked over and gave Quinn a hard pat on the back. “Better go, then. Don’t want to keep the crowd waiting.”

  Quinn skimmed over the crowd and then locked on his grandpa. His eyes were a bit misty as he kept a keen gaze on the sky. Quinn wasn’t doing this for the crowd. He was doing it for the honor of his grandpa and his deceased grandmother. He would make them both proud.

  As he trotted down back to the airfield, he glanced back at the spot Piper had stood moments before. He hoped she’d come back to watch the show. To watch him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Piper was hunched over, halfway to her car, her breath heaving in and out. She’d never hyperventilated before, but she was pretty sure that was what was happening to her. Her hands latched onto her knees as she sucked in and blew out breath after breath after breath…

  “Piper?”

  The roar in her ears barely registered Quinn’s father’s voice. She managed a shaky wave, still huffing and puffing.

  “Dear God, are you okay?” A hand fell on her back.

  She nodded frantically. What a mess she was.

  “Sit down.” A firm grip took hold of her arms and practically shoved her to the ground. “Lay back.”

  Thank heavens she was still on the grass instead of actually in the parking lot. With her breath still rushing in and out, she flopped back on the grass like a speared fish. In…out…in…out. Her head was spinning.

  “Listen to me, Piper. Look at me.”

  Her eyes snapped open. Marcus’s concerned face was way too close to hers. “Does this happen often?”

  He
r head shook furiously. She wanted to scream. She wanted to breathe. With all the strength she could muster, she plastered a help me look on her face.

  “Okay. Okay.” He put a hand on her stomach. “Close your mouth. You need to breathe through your nose.”

  She locked her jaw, instantly want to blow a huge rush of air out of her lungs. Now she was holding her breath.

  “You aren’t breathing. Breathe through your nose.”

  She grunted, sucking back in a huge gulp through her mouth.

  “Listen to me, Piper. You have to listen.” His voice had gone cold, flat. “Keep your mouth closed.”

  She still didn’t listen. She couldn’t listen. She was suffocating with too much air. How, in the name of chocolate, does that happen?

  He growled. The man actually growled at her. “Fine, purse your lips together like you are whistling. Blow your air through that.”

  With great effort and a solid hand pressing on her stomach, she finally complied.

  “Good. In. Out. See? It makes the breathing slow down. Now, I’m going to count—take one breath, in or out, every time I count to five.”

  For several minutes, Piper did as she was told, as Marcus continued to bark out orders. Something about belly breathing, keeping her chest still, or pushing his hand on her stomach out with her breath. She didn’t really pay attention. Her head was pounding like crazy, and her vision was a little blurry.

  After what felt like an hour of getting back control of her breathing, Marcus’s hand fell away from her chest. “Do you feel well enough to sit up?”

  She nodded, smiling weakly. He helped her up, kept an arm around her when she swayed. Then Piper noticed a swarm of people. Great, she’d made a scene. A huge one.

  Quinn’s mother was several feet away, her panic-stricken expression enough for Piper’s cheeks to burn. Numerous other faceless intruders lingered about, murmuring their concern or morbid curiosity. Piper’s gaze landed on Sarah standing off the side. Her expression was laced with concern, her eyes wary.

  “I’ve got to go,” Piper stammered. “I need to sit.”

  George shuffled through the crowd. “Come, sit by me under the tree. You don’t want to miss the show.”

  Oh, yes she did.

  “Piper.” Sarah’s calm voice sliced through her senses. “I’m sorry this is so hard on you. Quinn should have known better than to spring this on someone. You have my permission to smack him silly the next time you see him.” Her humor was evident, but Piper found nothing funny about the situation.

  “Listen,” Sarah continued, draping a cool hand over Piper’s heated arm, “I know how hard it is to let go of something you feel so strongly about. Whether it’s heights or snakes or flying or popsicles or death…” Piper’s eyes swung to Sarah’s at the last one. “Something will hold everyone back,” she cooed. “Don’t let this hold you back from Quinn. Don’t let anything hold you back from him.”

  Piper shook her head, trying her best to get her bearings and understand what Sarah was saying. She sounded so much like Quinn sometimes. Her voice so lulling, her tone so placid. It was as if they were brother and sister instead of in-laws.

  The roar of a plane snapped Piper back to attention.

  “I can’t watch.” She clenched her eyes.

  George’s paper-thin skin brushed across Piper’s forehead. “You’re mighty scared, aren’t you?”

  She nodded, trying her best to keep the contents of her stomach down while remaining lucid and on her feet.

  “I swear to you that Macy is safe, Piper. He was one of the best Air Force pilots in his class until he got injured.”

  Injured? Piper went rigid.

  “Oh, no,” George continued, probably noticing the panic on Piper’s face. “He didn’t crash or anything. He’ll have to tell you about it. My grandson is one of the best. I promise.” George held out his hand. “Come with me. Please? For my wife?”

  Piper groaned inwardly. He had to play that card, didn’t he? From the get-go Piper had known getting to know this family had been a bad idea. Getting to know Quinn had been a bad idea. She inhaled a settling breath, the sting in her chest from her panic attack fading.

  “Go on, Piper,” Sarah encouraged with a gentle push. “George will keep you company. And don’t worry, KC and Quinn are safe.”

  Piper was not going to worry about her past mistake in agreeing to see Quinn. After this little shin-dig was over, she was going to rectify her problem. Quinn had made her care, and now she was terrified of what that caring would do if she lost him like every other person she’d cared about in her life. Death, after all, was destruction.

  “Okay, George. I’ll watch.” She slipped her hand into his, her heart sinking with each step back to the chairs underneath the big oak tree.

  <<<<>>>>>

  Piper’s hand clutched the sides of the plastic chair as she watched Quinn’s plane—the red death trap—shoot up toward the sky. It was trailed closely by a blue plane, one she’d been told was being flown by KC. She’d also been told that the other brother, Del, would normally be flying with them. Fabulous. A trio of brothers who risked their lives to put on a show. Stupid.

  Her fingers ached with tension as the planes dipped and swirled around each other. Her heart hammered against her ribs. If it weren’t for the thundering of the plane engines, Piper knew everyone sitting around her would hear her erratic breathing. But she was able, with the breathing Marcus had told her about, to control herself from having another panic attack. Barely.

  The two planes flew side by side, twisting around and dipping in perfect harmony. It would only take a few feet, she imagined, to clip each other’s wings and crash to the ground. She clenched her eyes at that thought.

  “Watch, dear.” The voice was Quinn’s mother’s. All calm, cool, totally collected. How could she stand to watch this? Why wasn’t she scared out of her mind? They could die…any second.

  “They’ll be fine. Please. Watch.”

  Piper cracked her eyes open. The planes swooped up in perfect sync, splitting apart and doing separate figure eights in the sky. They curled around, spinning around and around and around in complicated patterns, weaves, and harrowing loops.

  Her mouth was bone dry. Her fingers near their breaking point, wrapped so tightly around the blasted chair. With her eyes glued to the sky, she could only sit and pray that nothing bad happened to either of them.

  And then the most terrifying thing happened. After completing a circle, the planes, now far apart, headed straight toward each other. A huge stream of white smoke poured out of the back of Quinn’s plane as he barreled toward his brother.

  “Oh, my God! He’s on fire!” Piper jumped up and ran forward. To where, she didn’t know.

  A tight grip caught her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

  “It’s not a fire, Piper,” George said. “It’s part of the show.”

  Piper’s eyes slid toward KC’s plane, which now had red smoke flowing out the back of his plane. Still her nerves didn’t settle. They were still flying right toward each other. She craned her neck upward; they were awfully high, like little specs in the sky. So far away…and no one could help them if something went wrong. Closer and closer the planes got to each other, each of them doing small spins around and around.

  Her lips quivered as she spoke. “Are they going to hit each other?”

  The laugh that rolled out of Marcus made Piper jump out of her skin. “God, no. They are trained pilots. You’ve got to have a little faith.”

  Faith. Yeah. Right. She’d never had any before, why would she start now?

  The planes inched closer and closer; Piper held her breath. Right before they would have nailed each other, both planes took a dive down, suddenly twisting around each other. The red and white smoke mingled and spiraled around, creating bursts of color in the sky. The aircraft continued their plunge toward the earth, still locked in a death-spin with each other. Closer and closer they came to the hard ground.

&nbs
p; She gripped her own arms, her nails biting into her skin. Right before what Piper assumed would be the end of their lives, the hunks of soaring metal veered left, splitting apart and flying side-by-side again over the crowd.

  The roar of the audience deafened her. Even Quinn’s family hooted and hollered like this was the best thing they’d ever seen. Cheese and crackers, they were all crazy. All of them. With Quinn and his brothers being the most crazy of all. To think they would risk their lives for…what? KC had a wife to think about. All of them had their parents and each other.

  With her fear nearly choking her, Piper turned around, all-too-ready to go back to the comfort of her home. The comfort of knowing that she didn’t have to worry about people dying on her because she didn’t care about people. She didn’t.

  The words in her head tasted like a foul lie in her mouth. Darn that man.

  “Going somewhere, dear?” Quinn’s mother hustled to her side.

  She stopped short, her breathing beginning that stupid huff and puff again. “Going home. I thought the show was over.”

  His mother’s serene face gave way to an even more serene smile. “The air show will be going on until dark, but the boys’ flight is done, yes. Don’t you want to see Macy?”

  No. Yes. Peas almighty, she didn’t know. She didn’t know if she could handle that right now.

  “The boys love to hunker down and have some food after a great flight. It would mean a lot to us.” Her hand fell on Piper’s arm, giving it a comforting squeeze. And the woman’s eyes, so tranquil and compassionate. It must run in the family.

  “Fine.” She was barely able to push the words out through her tight lips. With a solemn breath, Piper wiped her face clean of any emotion, allowing Funeral Director Piper to take the place of this stupid woman she’d become who allowed everyone to see what she was feeling, this woman who actually felt. This would be the last time she would put herself in this position.

  “Wonderful.” Another bright smile, this time crinkling the corners of Quinn’s mother’s eyes.