In My Father’s House

by E. Lynn Harris

  Her nanny answered. I quickly announced who I was and told her I needed to speak to my sister immediately. A few minutes later, Anna was on the other end of the phone.

  “Bentley, what a pleasant surprise,” Anna said.

  “Sis, have you talked to Mother today?”

  “About an hour ago.”

  “Where is she? I tried reaching her on her cell but I got her voice mail.” I zipped my suitcase, holding my car keys, ready to leave.

  “She’s at the casino with that young stud of hers. What’s going on, Bentley? I hear stress in your voice.”

  I exhaled. “Something is wrong with Father. I think he had a heart attack.”

  The line was silent. Then Anna shrieked, “What? Tell me you’re kidding, Bentley. Don’t play with me. Where did you hear a thing like that?”

  It felt so strange to say, “Kim called me and told me a few minutes ago. Something about a hotel and them being in bed.”

  “Oh, God, then it must be true,” Anna cried.

  “What in hell is going on between Kim and my father, Anna?”

  She was quiet. I could hear my angry, scared heartbeat pounding in my ears until she said, “We can talk when you get here, Bentley. You are coming home, aren’t you?”

  I was sick of people not giving me answers today! “I’m trying to get on the next flight.” I raised my voice. “Tell me about what is going on between Father and Kim!”

  “Get on a flight and get here, Bentley. I need to find Mother and get to the hospital. Have a safe flight, brother dear. Bye.”

  When I hung up from Anna it appeared the room had joined my head in spinning.

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  I got out of a cab and rushed through the electronic glass doors of the emergency room of Mercy Hospital near downtown Detroit. It was almost the end of February and the city was bitter cold. When I entered the warm hospital, I went straight to the information desk and asked for my father.

  “Oh, Mr. Dean, I was alerted to look out for you. Let me notify security,” the receptionist said.

  Security? This couldn’t be good, I told myself. Why would I need to be escorted by security? Was my father already dead? Or was this something my mother ordered in an attempt to be grand? A few moments later, a tall black man in a dark blue rent-a-cop suit told me to follow him. He had a somber look on his face and I knew this wasn’t good.

  As we rode up the escalators, I saw many patients in wheelchairs with plastic IV bags at the top of the chair and I realized this was the first time I’d ever been in a hospital. I followed the guard down a long hallway and then through two double doors. Once behind the doors, we passed a series of waiting rooms until we got to the end of the corridor and the security guard opened the door. I followed him in and immediately saw my mother and sister staring out the window in a mournful embrace.

  “Mother, how is Father?” I asked and she turned around. She was crying, with tears streaming down her face. Just the sight of her caused me to start whimpering like a puppy, blinking back my own tears.

  “Bentley, I’m so glad you made it safely,” Anna said as she kissed me on the cheek and rubbed my shoulders. My mother was still crying and I hadn’t gotten a word out of her about my father’s condition.

  “Where is my father, Anna? Is he still alive?”

  Anna looked at me with a somber face and said, “Just barely.” She and I had always looked alike, except she had long black hair that she usually wore pin straight. Today it was twisted up in a barrette. With a blue velvet warm-up suit, she wore no makeup and her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy.

  “Where is he?”

  “In the operating room, and he’s already been in there for three hours.”

  “Did he have a heart attack?”

  “Yes, and the doctors said it was a massive one. They found blockage in six arteries. They say it is amazing he’s still alive and if Kim hadn’t called the ambulance when she did, we surely would have lost him.”

  Kim. I still didn’t understand why my father was with my ex. I guess there was no better time than now to find out.

  “What was Kim doing with Father, Anna?”

  “I tell you why your father is with Kim, Bentley. He thinks because I have a young boyfriend he would get a youngster as well. He’s just an old fool being used by Kim.”

  I turned to Anna and asked, “What is Mother talking about?”

  Anna’s face turned red. “Bentley, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but Father has been going out with Kim for about six months. They’ve been quite the couple and all of Detroit has been talking about it. I’m really quite surprised you didn’t hear about it in Miami. You should have seen the two of them in Washington during the inauguration. They were all over each other.”

  I just stared at her, wondering if I was hearing this right. “Tell me you’re kidding. Where is she now?”

  Anna looked at me like she was so sorry that I had to deal with all this at once. “They put her in the general waiting room. This is a private area, and even though Mother and Father are no longer married, the head of the hospital knew our parents when they were together and thought it was best that he keep Mother and Kim in separate areas.”

  “So how long is the surgery? What does the doctor say?”

  Anna said, “It can last up to ten hours and we haven’t had any updates. This is a serious surgery, but Father has the best doctors in Michigan.”

  I looked at my mother, who was standing there trembling with her arms crossed.

  “Mother, can I get you something to drink or eat? You don’t look well.”

  She glared at me. “I’m not well, Bentley. My husband is in there fighting for his life and I may never get the chance to tell him I love him or make him laugh with my silly questions. I’ve spent over half of my life with that man. Now I’ll never get the chance to walk into the Links Ball on his arm or play golf at the country club.”

  Anna put her arms around our mother and said with a soothing voice, “Mother, tell me you’re not really worried about that. Let’s use our energy to pray that Daddy will be all right.” She was right. My father was fighting for his life and Mother was worried about some social club. I had to admit that sometimes my mother could be so petty. But I could tell from her tears and the way that she was shaking that she was concerned about my father. And she had admitted she still loved him. That was a good thing.

  Five hours later there was still no word on how my father’s operation was going. I guessed this was a case of no news was good news. My mother, sister, and I sat in silence in the nicely furnished waiting room, exchanging magazines and newspapers.

  “Mother, have you eaten today?” Anna asked.

  “I’m not hungry,” she replied.

  “You need to eat something, Mother.”

  “Yeah, Mother, Anna is right. Do you think they’ll deliver something up here?”

  “We might have to go down to the cafeteria,” Anna said as she looked at her watch. I looked at mine. It was a little after six.

  “I’ll go down and get something for us,” I said. “What would you like, Mother?”

  “Bentley, I told you I’m not hungry.”

  “Just get her a sandwich and a soda, Bentley,” Anna said. It felt strange that us kids were the ones talking to our mother like we were the parents, taking care of her.

  “If you two are going to force me to eat, then I don’t want any sandwich.” Mother had a way of talking like a drill sergeant. “Get me some tuna salad on some lettuce and maybe a tomato slice. I have my club function coming up in May and I’m not going to let your father be the cause of me gaining weight. And I don’t want a soda. Get me some black coffee, Bentley.”

  “Okay, Mother. Anna, what would you like?”

  Anna hugged herself. “Just a sandwich, Bentley, and a bottle of water.”

  As I left, I said, “Okay, I’ll be back, but if the doctor calls with any news, text me, please.”

  “Will do.”

>   I got on the elevator and punched B. Just as the elevator door was beginning to close, I heard someone yell, “Wait a minute!” It was a familiar voice and I pushed the door open button. In walked Kim Boston. She seemed surprised to see me and I was equally shocked to see her. She not only looked older, but she was dressed like a matronly socialite with a fur coat and gaudy jewelry.

  “Bentley Dean the third. How are you?” She kissed me on the cheek and it smelled like she was wearing a perfume my mother wore when we were children. I remembered it being my father’s favorite.

  “I’m okay, Kim. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here. Anna told me you were in another waiting room.”

  Kim shook her head. Her eyes were bloodshot and glassy. “At least your sister has been able to retain her class. I wish I could say the same thing about your mother. Have you heard anything from the doctors? This wait is making me more nervous than I was when B. D. first had the heart attack.”

  That took me back to the image of Kim in bed with my father. I know I just looked at her with a completely puzzled expression. That just seemed so wrong. I forced myself to talk. “No, we haven’t heard anything. Thanks a lot for getting my father to the hospital. If he survives this, then I guess you saved his life.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I mean, what else was I going to do? I love your daddy.”

  I stared at her, waiting for those words to sink into my brain. “When did that happen?”

  “What?”

  “When did you fall in love with my father?”

  “About six months ago. I saw him at a golf tournament and he invited me to dinner. We started talking about you and I think we connected over the fact that we both missed you so much. We’ve been together ever since. He really is the best thing to ever happen to me, Bentley.”

  The elevator reached the bottom floor and I held the door as Kim walked out into the hospital cafeteria. Once we reached the buffet-style serving line, Kim asked me if I would like to join her for dinner so that we could catch up on things.

  “I need to get the food back to my mother and sister.”

  “Bentley, please try and talk some sense into your mother.”

  “About what?”

  She placed her right hand on my arm. I looked down at it, feeling strange that she had shared her body with me and now was sharing her body with Father. “Letting me be the first one to see B. D. once he’s out of recovery. I’m sure when he opens his eyes, I’ll be the first person he’ll want to see. I mean, I was the last person he saw before collapsing.”

  I screwed up my face. “Spare me the details, Kim. And I think my father will want to see my mother and the rest of his family first.”

  Kim put her hand out. She was sporting a huge diamond that was almost blinding. “I’ll be family soon, Bentley.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She beamed a huge smile. “Your daddy and I are getting married. We’re engaged.”

  That would mean my ex-fiancée would become my stepmother. Snap! “Are you serious? Kim, tell me you’re kidding.”

  “What? Just because you didn’t want me, doesn’t mean all the Dean men have lost their senses.”

  “Are you doing this to get back at me, Kim?”

  “No, Bentley, I honestly care for your father. He’s a great man and now I know where you get a lot of your good qualities.” I looked at Kim and realized she was trying to be nice during this very difficult time. Still, it was hard to think about her with my father. Was I just being selfish or deep down did I wish my father and mother would get back together again?

  “Kim, I’ll talk with you later. I need to get some food for my mother and sister.” Shaking my head, I looked at the selection of sandwiches the cafeteria had.

  THIRTY-EIGHT

  When I got back to the waiting room with food for my mother and sister, they were with a middle-aged white man with a white coat. He was talking to my mother, who was crying. I wondered if something terrible had happened.

  “Anna, is everything okay?” I asked.

  “Bentley, this is Dr. Welsh. He was the lead doctor on Daddy’s bypass operation. Dr. Welsh, this is my baby brother, Bentley Dean the third.”

  I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Welsh. Please tell me my father is going to be okay.”

  He had serious brown eyes and deep wrinkles on his forehead. “It was a tough surgery. There were more blockages than we anticipated. Right now your father is in the recovery room, but he has a tough road ahead of him. I was just explaining to your mother and sister that we will keep him heavily sedated the next couple of days and just hope everything turns out for the better.”

  “When can we see him?” I asked.

  The doctor said, “We need to give him a couple of hours and I think we should just do one visitor at a time. He won’t be able to talk to you or even see you, but he might be able to hear you. It will be days before he’ll be able to respond to his family.”

  Anna touched his arm. “Thanks, Dr. Welsh, I think my mother should be the first person to see him.”

  The doctor nodded. “Let’s try not to wear him out. I know you want to see him, but he’s in a very delicate state right now.”

  “I understand, Dr. Welsh,” I said. “I agree with my sister that my mother should see my father first and then if you think it’s okay, we’ll visit with him.”

  The doctor looked as if he were going to ask a question. “That sounds like a plan. Now if it’s okay, I’m going to go talk to Ms. Boston. I understand she is your father’s lady friend and I think she is very concerned about Mr. Dean’s health as well.”

  “I will talk with Kim when it’s time,” my mother said. She was stony and iron-voiced. She clearly still loved our father, no matter how angry and tough of a façade she presented. Maybe there was a chance that this crisis could bring them back together. Maybe my wishes were going to be granted.

  “Mother, are you sure? Anna and I can talk with Kim.”

  “Yes, Mother,” Anna said.

  “Don’t be silly. I can talk with Kim. Are you two afraid I might slap the poor girl? I, Lucinda Dean, know how to treat people. I taught you two.”

  “You’re right, Mother. I just don’t want you to stress yourself,” I said.

  “I don’t even know what stress is, darling. Now let’s move on to the next thing.”

  Anna and I looked at each other with questioning looks as my mother marched out of the room.

  THIRTY-NINE

  Almost forty-eight hours had passed before it was my turn to see my father. But before I went in, I borrowed my sister’s car, went to the neighborhood where my father owned rental homes, and picked up a little gift for him.

  I was a little nervous before I went in because Mother talked about how bad he looked and how he was heavily sedated and still hadn’t opened his eyes. Mother, Anna, and Kim had all spent a little time with him, and the doctors urged us not to stay longer than fifteen minutes because he would need all of his strength for a complete recovery.

  I walked slowly into the hospital room and saw an Asian nurse messing with the tubes connected to my father. His eyes were closed and his face was ashen. Bentley Dean, Jr., certainly didn’t look like the vibrant man who told me how disappointed he was with me and my choices. I still couldn’t believe such a smart man couldn’t understand that I hadn’t made a choice about being gay. If I’d had a choice it would have been to be the son he wanted. I never wanted to disappoint my father, but I wasn’t going to be miserable, either.

  I nodded at the nurse, took a seat, and just stared for a moment at my father. His head was positioned so his eyes, though closed, were looking toward the off-white ceiling.

  “Has he woken up yet?” I asked the nurse.

  “Not yet. I would give him another day or so and then maybe we can expect some movement from him.”

  “Do you think he can hear me?”

  The nurse adjusted some tubes and turned some knobs on the machines
around the bed. “Maybe. I think it’s okay to talk to him and maybe massage his arms and hands.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll be back in about ten minutes, so enjoy your time with your father.”

  “Thank you.”

  When the nurse left, I put my hand on top of my father’s hands, which felt rough and warm.

  “How you gon’ scare us like this, old man?” My throat felt raw despite my playful tone. “You know we’d be a mess without you. I don’t know if you’re happy that I’m here or if you’re still mad at me, but nothing, and I mean nothing, was going to keep me away. Maybe now might be the only time that I can talk to you and not have you say, ‘I’m the father.’ This time you’re going to have to listen to me.”

  I paused for a moment, then I reached into my leather jacket for the gift. I pulled out the little white-and-blue cardboard box that held a small White Castle cheeseburger. I knew he would not be able to eat it, but I thought if he could smell it, maybe it would bring back to my father the memories that it brought back to me anytime I saw a White Castle drive-in or when I smelled one of the mini-burgers. Whenever that happened, I always thought of my father and the great times we’d have on our Saturday excursions to the South Side of Detroit.

  “I know you can’t eat this, and the nurse would most likely kick me out of the hospital, but I brought you a little gift.” I looked at his motionless face.

  “I went back to the old neighborhood where you bought your first rental property. You remember how you used to take me with you and how sometimes you’d let your tenants pay me the money? How proud you were of me? When your tenants would ask me what I was going to be when I grew up, how I would always say that I was going to be just like my father.”