Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2)

by Jaimie Roberts

  Walking up to the podium, I unwrapped a piece of paper I had clutched to my hands and stood in front of everybody, clearing my throat. “Thank you all for coming today. For days, I tried to come up with something suitable to give little Lisa’s funeral justice. I must have wasted a hundred trees in my attempt.” I heard people chuckle a little, so I fell silent for a second.

  “In the end, I thought it best to leave it up to somebody who could say it for me. It is a poem by an unknown person, but I think the words are a comfort in such a tragedy.”

  Looking at the paper, I stood for a moment and gathered my thoughts. I could feel myself getting emotional, but I wanted so much to be able to say the words I had down on paper.

  With a deep breath, I began.

  “‘I’ll lend you, for a little while,

  A child of mine,’ God said.

  ‘For you to love while she lives

  and mourn for when she’s dead.

  It may be six or seven years

  or forty-two or three,

  but will you, ‘til I call her back,

  take care of her for me?

  ‘She'll bring her charms to gladden you

  and, should her stay be brief,

  you’ll have her nicest memories

  as solace for your grief.

  I cannot promise she will stay,

  since all from earth return,

  but there are lessons taught below,

  I want this child to learn.

  ‘I’ve looked the whole world over

  in my search for teachers true,

  and from the things that crowd life’s lane

  I have chosen you.

  Now will you give her all your love,

  nor think the labour vain,

  nor hate me when I come to take

  this lent child back again?

  ‘I fancied that I heard them say,

  Dear Lord, Thy will be done.

  For all the joys thy child will bring

  the risk of grief we’ll run.

  ‘We’ll shelter her with tenderness,

  we’ll love her while we may,

  and for the happiness we’ve known

  forever grateful stay.

  ‘But should thy Angels call for her

  much sooner than we planned,

  we’ll brave the grief that comes

  and try to understand’.”

  When I was finished, a tear rolled down my face as I gazed upon all the people who had come here for me and the little girl. Most of them were crying, but others—like Simeon, Simon, Paul, and Callum—shifted uncomfortably in their seats. I could tell it was affecting them, but they didn’t want to show any emotion.

  We lay poor Lisa to rest right beside her mother. I laid pink lilies on her grave because I knew they were her favourite. It’s really strange knowing the last thoughts of someone before they died. Even in her terror, it seemed she knew the end was coming. Thoughts about all the important things she cherished as a child ran through her head. Her mother was one of them, but so was the beauty of flowers, especially lilies.

  Standing back to look at their graves, I had Simeon on one side, Simon on the other. Both had grabbed one of my gloved hands as we stood in silence for a minute.

  “That poem was beautiful, Cassie,” my uncle said, cutting through the silence.

  “Thanks, Billy. I didn’t know what else to say. I suppose it’s sometimes easier letting someone else say it for you.”

  Touching my arm, he smiled. “You did it so well.”

  Nodding, I turned to find everyone there. “Is everyone up for a drink?” I asked, knowing it was just the thing we probably all needed. Everyone nodded. “Where shall we go?”

  “How about The Three Horseshoes Pub back in Fulham?” Callum suggested. “It’s as good a pub as any. Unfortunately, Hamish, Paul, and I can’t go, but we can say goodbye from there.”

  I suddenly felt a stab of pain. I was returning to the pub where Stephen and I had our first drink together.

  “Are you okay?” Simeon asked as we walked back to the car. “You look pale. Is your shoulder hurting you?”

  Shaking my head, I smiled. “No, I’m fine. Just a little sad, that’s all.” Stopping at the door of the car, I turned to him. “Actually, Simeon, do you mind waiting in the car for me a few moments? There’s something I need to do.”

  Simeon looked confused for a moment, but smiled. “Do you need me to come with you?”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. This is something I need to take care of on my own.”

  With a nod, Simeon opened the car door. “Okay, no problem. I’ll be waiting.” I watched him as he took a seat in the car.

  Looking around, I sought out the grave I wanted to visit. I knew it was here because I visited it many years ago.

  I finally came to a halt. In front of me was a grave, a fresh bunch of flowers sitting neatly on it. They couldn’t have been older than a day or two. I could make out his name through the flowers, though. Terrance Bradley.

  Kneeling next to the grave, I placed a hand on the gravestone. “Hello, Terrance. It’s been a while. As you can tell, I’m all grown up now, but I have never stopped thinking about you. How could I when you were the one who came to me that awful night nineteen years ago? I would never forget it. You were kind to me and I will always thank you for that.” I sighed, closing my eyes and feeling the pain of it grip me again. “There is one other thing I need to say, and I’ve been meaning to say it for years. I’m sorry, Terrance. I’m so sorry I never saved you.” I rubbed the top of his gravestone tenderly, pulling a couple of weeds from the ground.

  “I never thought to do that.”

  The voice startled me. Looking up, Simon was staring down at me with a tender smile. “You thought I’d forgotten you.” I nodded, then looked away, feeling a little shame at my admission. “He was a good man…my uncle.”

  I smiled. “I know he was.”

  “He didn’t deserve what happened to him that night. It was the same night—the night your parents died.”

  I nodded. “I know. I remember him reaching out to touch my hand, but I flinched away from him. Now I wished I hadn’t.”

  Smiling, he shook his head. “You couldn’t know, Cassie. You were so little at the time. I never forgot you, though. I never forgot what you said. You didn’t even touch my hand to know that I would be a ‘big’ policeman one day.” He smiled cheekily, but I could see the question in his eyes.

  “I just get a sense for people, I think. I was a child, but I could see it in you…even then.”

  Simon smiled and touched my shoulder. “You were such a sweet child, Cassie. In a sense, you reminded me of my sister.” He frowned. I could tell the memory of that night was as fresh for him as it was for me.

  “Were you with him when it happened?”

  He shook his head. “No. It was considered too dangerous. The men robbing the bank were armed, so he made arrangements for another officer to take me home. Little did I realise that would be the last time I would see him alive.”

  I smiled gently at him. Briefly staring back at Terrance’s grave, I wondered what his life would have been like now if our hands had touched. I know I would have foreseen him get shot that night, and I would have done anything in my power to prevent it.

  I suddenly wondered something. “When did you remember?” I gazed upon his face and saw a hint of guilt spread across him.

  “To be honest, it was at the hospital when I saw your uncle. I knew I recognised him from somewhere and it bugged me all day. I started doing some digging and I found out about your mum and dad. I’m so sorry I didn’t realise. I tried telling you, but there never seemed to be the right moment. I have something for you, though. I brought it with me today.”

  I stood up and watched as Simon walked towards his car. I followed behind him, wondering what it could be.

  He opened the door with one swift tug and quickly rummaged in the back. He suddenly pulled out a teddy b
ear.

  “Mr. Wigglesby!” I cried as I raced towards a smiling Simon and grabbed the teddy bear.

  “I knew it had a funny name like that, but I couldn’t remember what it was.”

  I felt the euphoria wash over me as the tears stung my eyes. I couldn’t help it. I grabbed Simon in my arms and hugged him for dear life. “Thank you so much for looking after him for me.”

  Simon pulled away and I saw the emotion in his eyes. This was obviously affecting him as much as it was me. “I’m sorry you didn’t get him sooner. I found him on the floor of the hospital that night and I recognised it as yours. I asked the nurse where you were and she told me your uncle had taken you home. I didn’t know what else to do so I asked my uncle to look into it for me, but then he got called away.” Simon paused, swallowing hard. “Well…you know the rest. By the time everything had happened, I had kept the bear for so long, I didn’t know what else to do. To be honest, I was a little selfish. I had just lost my sister, then my uncle. Mr. Wigglesby seemed to offer me solace somehow.”

  Seeing the smile on his face as he stared at the bear had me wondering. Without thinking, I handed the bear back. “Here, you keep him. You’ve had him longer than I have, so I think he needs you more than me.”

  Placing his hand on the bear, he pushed him back towards my chest with a shake of his head. “No, Cassie. I don’t need him anymore. He needs you now—and I think, if you’re honest, you need him now, too.”

  So Simon knew I was sad, but he didn’t question why. All I could do was smile and offer him another hug. He accepted it and we stood there for a while, sharing our losses with each other.

  We pulled away from each other and he told me he had to get back to work. I wasn’t sure what was going on between Simon and me, but we just seemed to get closer and closer. The lives we had lost, the moments of grief and joy…we shared them. I knew Simon was my dearest friend. He certainly had me as a friend for life.

  With a contented sigh, I looked down at Mr. Wigglesby, then nuzzled into his fur. He felt just how I remembered from all those years ago. I smiled at him and flicked his nose with my finger. “Well, let’s be going, Mr. Wigglesby. Poor Simeon is waiting in the car for us, and I’m dying for you to meet him.”

  I swiftly tucked him into my chest and walked back towards the car. Although this was a sad day, I couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I had great friends and family who would do anything for me, no matter what. How could I not be grateful for that?

  As I got to the car, I swiftly pulled the handle and slid myself in. “Sorry I took so long. I didn’t mean to.”

  Simeon shook his head with a wink. “That’s okay, Cassie. Did you manage to do what you had to?”

  Nodding, I stared down at Mr. Wigglesby with a smile. “Yes, thank you.”

  “Who’s this you got?” he asked, pointing towards the teddy.

  For some strange reason, I fell silent. I wanted to tell him the name, but I couldn’t get the words out. In the end, I just said, “He’s a teddy bear. Simon gave him to me.” It confused me as to why I felt the need to hide what he was to me.

  “Are you ready to go?” Simeon asked, breaking me out of my trance.

  “Oh, yes—sorry. It’s been quite a day. I just hope I did her justice.”

  Grabbing my hand, he tenderly kissed it. “You did really well, Cassie. I’m sure her mother would be really proud.” Pausing for a moment, he smiled cheekily. “Listen, if you behave yourself and are really good, I may let you shine my truncheon later.”

  All sad thoughts were gone as my mouth curved up into a wicked grin. Slapping his hand away, I tut-tutted. “You’re disgusting, Simeon.”

  He shrugged indignantly. “Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “You don’t feel so sad now, do you?” He smiled, making it all better.

  Letting the warmth of his presence wash over me, I sighed. “No. Not anymore.”

  “Good,” he said, starting the car. “Maybe my magic is working, after all.”

  I shook my head and stared out of the window. The rain was starting to fall, bringing a new sadness that Stephen couldn’t be here with me.

  The car ride was silent as I sat and thought about all our memories. Stephen was one of those people who were unforgettable. Everything I wanted wrapped up in one package.

  “I know you think about him a lot.”

  Turning toward Simeon, I nodded, then turned to stare back out of the window.

  “If it makes you feel any better, I know for a fact that he’s always thinking about you. He will never leave your side, Cassie. I can guarantee it.”

  Sighing, I closed my eyes, gripping them tight so the tears didn’t run. “I know, Simeon. Thank you for telling me. I just miss him so much.”

  I fell silent again, staring out of the window as I felt Simeon gently grip my hand. I was more than willing to take his support.

  Once at the pub, most of us sat down for a drink. Callum and Paul had to go to work, and Simon had to visit his mother in the hospital. It was just me, Simeon, Billy, Chris, Lisa-Marie, and Catherine. It was hard being there. I even ordered a glass of wine instead of my normal brandy and coke because, for some reason, it felt as though I was tainting his memory by drinking that in here.

  “I hear you’re getting married in a few weeks.” Lisa-Marie smiled at Billy and Chris.

  “Yes…only three weeks, four days, and twenty hours to go.” Billy held up his glass and took a drink.

  “You’re not counting at all, are you, Uncle Billy?” I chuckled.

  Seeing Chris roll his eyes, I nudged him. “I was thinking about your wedding the other day. I thought how cool it would be if you got married inside that phone box. You know, the one where it all started?”

  Laughing, I took a swig of my wine, realising they weren’t laughing with me. Putting my drink down, I studied their faces. They both looked at each other, then at me, then back at each other, a smile on their faces.

  “That’s a brilliant idea,” Chris said.

  “What? I was only joking. You can’t get married in a phone box.”

  “Why not? I heard a couple got married on a roller coaster once. Why not a phone box? We can still have the blessing in the church, but the wedding can be in the phone box.”

  Billy looked like he’d just won the lottery. “It’s a brilliant idea.”

  I sat there with my mouth open. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

  Catherine seemed to jump up and down with excitement. “I think it’s a fabulous idea.”

  “You have to come, sweetie,” Billy said.

  “Oh, can we? We’d love to.”

  “Yes. I’ll give Cassie an invite and she can give it to the two of you. The more the merrier.”

  I was wondering if I had suddenly entered the Twilight Zone. “But you can’t arrange for the minister to come to a phone box to marry you, can you?”

  Waving his hand in the air, Chris said, “My brother can marry us.”

  “What?”

  “He’s been ordained. He wanted to perform it anyway. What do you say, Billy? Shall we get hitched in a phone box and have my brother perform the ceremony?”

  Billy threw his hands in the air, laughing. “Oh, hell. Why not?”

  Shaking my head, I decided that whatever makes them happy, makes me happy. Raising my glass, my lips curved into a smile. “To the phone box!” I shouted.

  “To the phone box!” everyone else chimed in.

  “And to Lisa Bellmont, God rest her soul.”

  Everyone looked at Simeon, who had reminded us of why we were there. I didn’t think we meant to do it on purpose. We just seemed to get carried away with wedding talk. We were supposed to be saying farewell to a little girl who was ripped from this life way too early.

  “To Lisa Bellmont,” I said, a hint of sadness in my voice. It wasn’t easy having to say goodbye to someone so young, but I knew she was being taken care of now.

/>   “So,” Simeon began. “A phone box, eh? That brings on a whole new meaning of ‘giving someone a ring’.” He curved his lips into the cheekiest smile, setting everyone to giggling.

  Billy’s eyes widened even further. “How ironic is that? It’s almost fate. The only problem I have is I can’t be the one to take any photographs.”

  “I’m sure we can find you someone, Billy. You must know a lot of other photographers in your line of work.”

  “I’ve actually found one already. His name is Alexander—second best to me, of course.”

  Everyone laughed, but I sat there, rooted to my seat. All the colour had drained from my face as the name was whispered in my ear. Alexander.

  “Cassie, are you okay?”

  Blinking rapidly, I looked up to see everybody looking at me, worried. “What?”

  Leaning over, Billy touched my face. “Are you all right? You look pale. It’s almost as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “You can’t see ghosts, can you?” A little crease in Catherine’s face could be seen as she waited for my answer.

  I could finally breathe again. Catherine’s question had stopped me from panicking “No,” I replied, smiling. “I can’t see ghosts.”

  “I bet that would be cool, though, wouldn’t it?”

  I looked at Catherine for a moment before replying. I couldn’t see how anyone would find seeing a ghost as cool. “I think it would frighten me to death, Catherine. So I think I’ll stick with what I have, thanks,” I chuckled.

  Billy still looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay? Are you worried about tomorrow?”

  I had told my uncle about the court appearance. He had dropped everything so he could come with me and hold my hand.

  “I’m sure I’ll get by.”

  Simeon took my hand. “I’m sure you will. I’ll be there for support, too.”

  “Are you going to be okay with tomorrow?” I asked him. Simeon, as Stephen, had been called to give evidence because Stephen was there the night of the assault.

  “I’ll be fine. I have it all in here,” he said, pointing to his head and winking. “I’m not about to let that bastard get away with what he did. Don’t you worry.”