Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2)

by Jaimie Roberts

  “Let me make love to you, Cassie,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Stephen?” I asked again, but there was no reply.

  I was quickly becoming confused. I didn’t know what was happening to me and it was starting to freak me out a little. Was I with Stephen, or was I dreaming? I could feel his hands on me. I could feel his lips, his touch, his caress as he explored every inch of me, so I couldn’t be dreaming, right?

  My vision clouded, my thoughts scrambled as I tried to take control. I couldn’t quite figure out what the hell was happening. I thought it would be different than this when he came to me. I never thought he would just appear in my bed, naked and ready to take me. Of course, I wanted him to take me, but I didn’t want it to be like this.

  I was still desperately searching for answers when I felt his hand move down from my nipple towards the place that had never been touched.

  Gasping, I felt my world come crashing down as a voice screamed in my head, He’s not Stephen!

  Pushing his hand away, I scrambled out of bed and pulled a sheet off the chair next to me. “What the hell are you doing?” I was still woozy, still confused, still completely bewildered.

  I could see Simeon’s shocked eyes staring back at me. At first, he didn’t say anything, then quickly gained composure. “You wanted this. You asked me for it.”

  Shaking my head, I began staggering across the floor. My head hurt from all the alcohol I had earlier, but this felt different.

  Looking at my new alarm clock, I saw it was a little after three in the morning.

  “I asked Stephen, not you, Simeon.”

  Grabbing a couple pain pills from my bathroom, I quickly filled a cup of water and downed them both.

  “You can’t deny what your body wants, Cassie. You’ve been keeping it to yourself for far too long now.”

  What was going on? Why does my head feel so fuzzy? “Who are you?”

  “I’m Stephen, the love of your life.”

  Shaking my head, I wanted him to stop. “No, you’re not. You’re nothing like Stephen. You’re sick, Simeon. Stop it!”

  Sitting up on my bed, Simeon sighed. “Cassie, it’s me. You can tell it’s me. Why are you pushing me away now?”

  I refused to believe him. It couldn’t be him, could it? My head and my heart were having a full scale war. I wanted it to be Stephen, but I knew it couldn’t be. If it was Stephen why was he doing this to me?

  Looking over at the other side of the bed, I found a blue shirt and navy trousers on the floor. Looking even further, I noticed my dress. The dress I was wearing earlier.

  Walking over to his clothes, I bent down and picked them up. Motioning them to him, I scowled. “How could you, Simeon? How could you do this?”

  Sighing in resignation, Simeon lay against my headboard. “You wanted me to be him. I just thought I’d play along for you.”

  I was disgusted. “How could you do that? It’s sick. Just…sick!” Feeling my head spin, I held onto one of the dining room chairs. “I don’t feel too good. Did you put something in my drink?”

  Looking up, I saw his hesitation. “Of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you. Look at everything we’ve been through together. I’ve been there for you, Cassie. You know I have.”

  It was getting worse. Now I knew he had spiked my drink. His reaction to my question confirmed as much. Now that I knew I must be right, I willed my mind to work through whatever it was. I had to be strong. I had to try and force myself past this.

  “That doesn’t give you the right to pretend you’re someone else.”

  I watched as Simeon folded his arms and shook his head. Now his face looked nothing like Stephen’s. Stephen never showed me anything but kindness and love. Simeon’s whole body language just looked geared up for a fight.

  “Why couldn’t you have just done as you’re told?”

  Feeling the fuzziness coming again, I shook my head. “What have you done to me, Simeon?”

  He sighed like he was bored and frustrated with the whole thing. “I only gave you a little something to help you relax a bit. You’re always so tense and wrapped up in Stephen all the time. You needed to let lose a little.”

  Feeling the anger rise, I fisted my hands. “And you thought I could loosen up with you? You sick, twisted, piece of—”

  “I wouldn’t finish whatever you’re about to say, Cassie,” he said, softly.

  “Or what, Simeon? What will you do?” I knew I shouldn’t anger him too much as there was no telling what he would do.

  “Don’t push me. I’ve been pushed far enough. I’ve had weeks of sitting around and listening to poor Cassie loving Stephen, poor Cassie missing Stephen. Stephen, Stephen, fucking Stephen!”

  My stomach clenched in fear and loathing for this man. I had treated him with kindness and respect whilst he was laughing at me this whole time.

  “I want you out!” I demanded, willing my head to just clear up. I seemed to be able to see sense one minute, but the dizziness would come the next.

  “I’m not going anywhere until I get what I deserve. You disappoint me, Cassie. You let yourself hang around with people who prefer their own sex. You—”

  That certainly cleared it for me. “Whoa, hold up.” Were my ears deceiving me? “Please don’t tell me you’re going there.” I looked at his face and it told me everything I needed to know. He was going there.

  “You know, the world is full of people like you. You sit there feeling all high and mighty because you’re an angel so that means your own shit doesn’t stink, right? Well, you’re wrong. Billy and Chris are the most loyal, loving, caring people I know. Just because they chose to be with someone that others, like yourself, don’t agree with, doesn’t make them bad people.”

  Simeon threw his hands in the air in frustration. “It’s not right.”

  “According to whom, Simeon? You? Oh, let’s all just do whatever you think we should do, shall we? Let’s just stop being gay because the great Simeon said so. Poof, I’m straight. Isn’t that amazing?!” I was so overwhelmed with it, I started to doubt whether all this was real. Surely Simeon wasn’t here doing and saying the things he is. Surely, as an angel, he wouldn’t think like this, would he?

  “Your sarcasm isn’t exactly washing with me.”

  It seems like he is.

  “People like you make me sick. You act like the world is an animal kingdom. We only chose the opposite sex so we can procreate. It doesn’t work like that. What about love and companionship? Why can’t we just chose someone because we find them attractive, regardless of sex, race, or religion? What’s the harm of living your life like that? As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, why should it matter to you how people conduct their lives? It’s called freedom, Simeon. Get used to it!” Feeling my head pound, I buried it in my hands.

  “That’s not the way the world goes around.”

  I snapped my head back up, my eyes filled with rage. Realising he wasn’t worth the fight, I chuckled. “Oh, Simeon. Poor, stupid, deluded Simeon. You’re talking like it is a sin to live a life that doesn’t seem normal to you. Not to everyone—to you.”

  “Well, it isn’t normal.”

  “And drugging a girl so you can take her back to her flat and take advantage of her is?” I shook my head in dismay. “You know, Chris, Billy, Lisa-Marie, Catherine—they’re all wonderful people. They all work, they all pay their way in society. They all love and care for their families. They don’t commit crimes. They don’t say a bad word against anybody. They’re beautiful people, but you treat them as though they’re ugly. You’re the ugly one, Simeon. People like you are ugly.”

  Simeon waved his hand dismissively. “I’m bored with this conversation. Quite frankly, I thought you would be a little more submissive than this.”

  “Yeah, whatever shit you gave me is obviously not working, is it? Besides, you’re only dismissing me because you know you’re losing the argument. You have nothing to say about yourself, do you?”

  Wobbling
slightly, I gripped the arm of the chair. Stay strong, Cassie. You can do this. Fight the drugs inside you!

  “You’re so determined, aren’t you? You feel that strongly about it?” he asked.

  “Of course I do. I don’t care how people conduct their lives, as long as they don’t hurt others. Shouldn’t it always be that way?” I took some deep breaths and willed myself to stay strong. Whatever he put in my drink was strong, but I wasn’t going to give in.

  “Whatever you say, Cassie.”

  My head seemed to clear again as I gazed upon Simeon. “You know what the most twisted thing about this is?”

  “Enlighten me.” His tone was arrogant and opinionated, but I chose to ignore him.

  “It’s the fact that you felt this way, but you were smiling with my friends and family the whole time. You gave Billy and Chris your blessing. What kind of person does that?”

  “I’m an angel, Cassie.”

  I almost laughed. I didn’t know whether it was the drugs or the fact he was being a pompous arse. I think it was the latter. “You could have fooled me!”

  “You can’t talk to me like that!”

  His eyes were full of rage and a fleeting concern came over me as to whether I really wanted to push him. The problem was that I was way beyond angry now to care.

  “No? Really? I think I can talk to you how I like. You’re in my home, in my bed, laying your filthy hands all over me.”

  “I never heard you complaining! You were practically begging me to touch you.” He scanned my whole body, making me shudder.

  “Only because you drugged me! Only because you made me think you were Stephen!”

  Snapping his head up, I saw a thunder in his eyes. “Well, it worked with Elizabeth!”

  Gasping, I dropped the clothes on the floor and stepped back. He saw my reaction and a sudden panic rose in his eyes. “It was a joke. I was joking.”

  After all this time of everyone believing it was Stephen who slept with Elizabeth, it was Simeon.

  “How...how could you?”

  Simeon shook his head. “You always favoured him. Everyone always favoured him. I looked exactly like him, but you never batted an eyelid at me.”

  Confusion filled my senses. “What are you talking about?”

  An evil laugh left his lips, causing me to shudder again. “Of course. You still don’t remember, do you? I thought you were starting to earlier.”

  Gripping onto my sheet, I desperately tried to get my brain to work. What was it I said or did that made him think I was starting to remember? What did it all mean?

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Well, you see, baby brother wouldn’t want you if I had you. If we had made love tonight, you would have been mine—not his.”

  “You’re evil, sick, and twisted. I would never be yours. Ever!”

  Rising up from my bed, Simeon scowled. “You see, dear Cassie, that’s where you’re wrong. If I had taken you tonight, you would have been tainted. I would have taken your virginity from you, never to return again. You would have been marked for life. That is never something you can get back!”

  I couldn’t believe the difference in this man. I had been wary of him, but I thought it was because he looked and sounded so much like Stephen. Now I knew my instincts were telling me a very different story. After all this time, people thought Stephen was the evil one.

  The sounds of children laughing erupted in the air. I gripped my head, willing it to stop, willing the pain in my gut to cease knowing that Stephen had been wronged all along.

  But why did he do it? Why did he take the blame for Simeon? It didn’t make any sense. Michael blamed Stephen all these years for his indiscretion and Stephen just took it. He took all the abuse, all the criticism, and all the disappointment from everyone when it was never him who slept with Elizabeth.

  “What do you have over him?”

  Simeon looked dumfounded. “What?”

  “What could you possibly have over Stephen that would make him take the blame for what you did? What could he have possibly done that was so bad, he was willing to shoulder all the abandonment people dished out when everyone thought he had slept with Elizabeth?”

  Simeon threw his head back and cackled an evil laugh, making me shudder. I was suddenly scared of what he was capable. If he was capable of acting like he was Stephen twice, of what else was he capable?

  “You really have no clue, do you? It’s funny, really. Earlier, I panicked a little, thinking it was all coming back to you. I can’t have Stephen getting his happily ever after.”

  His words hit me in the gut with such force, it knocked the wind out of me. “Your own brother, Simeon. Your own brother,” I whispered.

  I hung my head, feeling shame for this man in front of me. He went through life pretending to be someone else, riding on the back of his brother. It sickened me to think I had fed his persona. I kept hoping he was Stephen so much, my mind created him.

  “How will you ever forgive me?” I whispered into the dark.

  The tingles caressed me and I knew he was around. Stephen was always there for me, no matter what. I could tell he thought there was nothing to forgive.

  “What?” his evil voice snapped, causing me to jump.

  Knowing Stephen was with me gave me a new sense of purpose. I had come this far. “Do you know what Elizabeth called me before she died?”

  Simeon snorted and waved his hand. “Enlighten me again. It’s been thrilling so far.”

  Ignoring him, I said, “She called me an abomination. I don’t much care for what she thought about me now. Not after she did what she did to my parents. All I know is it was an apt word, but for the wrong person. You’re supposed to be an angel, Simeon. Instead, you’ve turned into this deceitful man—someone who uses trickery to get what he wants. An angel doesn’t act like that.”

  Shaking his head, Simeon hissed, “And you would know all about that wouldn’t you, Archangel—”

  I hissed in a breath, waiting for it. Waiting for him to say my name. My blood pumped through my veins. My head grew heavy and my heart beat like never before. I suddenly felt like I was on fire. I had energy coursing through me. I could breathe with a new sense of life. I felt like I was being reborn into the world. I felt different. I felt alive.

  But the word never came. Simeon snapped his mouth shut and continued to stare. His eyes were filled with rage and resentment. He had carried with him this deep-seated hatred for his brother. I could feel it in him. I could feel the desire to hurt Stephen and I couldn’t possibly understand why.

  “Why do you hate him so much? What is it he has done to you to cause so much resentment towards him?”

  I watched in horror as he scooted off my bed, naked, and strolled towards me. “He took what was mine, Cassie. Now it’s time for me to take it back.”

  Backing away, I tried to turn and run, but there was nowhere for me to go. I screamed as he hurled himself toward me in a ferocious pounce. I gripped the sheet as tight as I could as he gripped my shoulders with such force, it made a new pain course through my wound.

  “Why can’t you ever do as you’re told?” he asked, shaking me back and forth.

  “I don’t understand. I want you to leave.” I tried in vain to back away, but he just gripped tighter. “Simeon, you’re hurting me.”

  Roaring, he spun me around and shoved me onto the bed. I landed with a thump as I looked up in horror. I was struggling to fathom how he could be two completely different people. He was once kind and nice to me. Now all I saw was his rage, his anger, his ugliness. It oozed out of every pore of him, spilling into my room. He was a man possessed—a man who nurtured evil and carried secrets. Horrible, sickening secrets. How could I have not seen this side of him before? How could I have been so blinded by his sweet words, his tender touch, his caring caress?

  Watching him, all I could stare at were those eyes. Those eyes I always thought looked like Stephen’s. How could I have been so wrong? He looked nothing
like Stephen now. I didn’t know why I never saw it before.

  “It’s time to finally make you mine!” Simeon lunged and I screamed with everything I had. The air around us became thick as an energy filled the whole room, vibrating and thundering. Simeon was gone. All that was left was a fuzzy outline of where his body once was.

  I blinked and waited, but didn’t know why. I was trying to hide in the corner of the bed, hoping it would swallow me up and carry me to safety.

  But I was safe now, wasn’t I? This wasn’t just some evil magic trick Simeon had somehow conjured up, was it?

  Staring around the room, my heart pounded as I sat, waiting for this return. All I could hear was the sound of my breathing as I fought the urge to be sick.

  He had his hands on me.

  After a few more minutes, everything seemed to go deathly quiet. Simeon was gone, and I breathed a sigh of relief at the thought he wasn’t coming back.

  Rising shakily off my bed, I jumped in the shower and scrubbed my whole body. I scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin turned red and raw. No matter how many times I washed, I could still feel him, still hear him asking me to open my legs for him.

  In one heaving jerk, I threw up. All the evidence of my drinking came lurching out. I welcomed it, though. I welcomed everything that represented him to be forced out of me. It was almost as though I was purifying myself after everything he had done.

  Once my stomach was empty, I leaned my head against the tiles and closed my eyes. I was exhausted, drained. I was wondering how I could possibly move. How could I will myself to put one foot in front of the other?

  It was then I felt it—the tingles. I knew Stephen was around. “Stephen,” I whispered closing my eyes. “I have to remember. I have to remember.” I gripped my eyes shut as I felt his every caress.

  He was willing me to move. I could feel his gentle hand guiding me out of the shower. I turned the tap off and grabbed a towel. I dried myself and walked back into my bedroom. I ripped all the sheets off, keeping the one I originally wrapped around myself.