Nobody (Men of the White Sandy) (Volume 3)

by Sarah M. Anderson

  “Hey,” Means shot back at her in a voice that Nobody didn’t particularly care for, “I’m not taking any chances with him. Hell, he just—I don’t know what he did. He shocked me or something.”

  “Yeah,” Melinda said dryly, “I’m used to it.”

  Means stood behind Nobody and undid the cuffs. “All charges against you have been dropped,” he said in an official tone. “You are no longer in custody of the White Sandy Reservation. But stay out of trouble and stay the hell out of my way.”

  Nobody flexed his wrists. He didn’t bother to look back at the sheriff. He just walked down the steps.

  His head was a mess of emotions, ones he wasn’t used to. He wanted to run to her and the boy, swoop them up in his arms and break down in tears. Tears. What the hell? He didn’t cry, for God’s sake. He didn’t cry.

  But his deep breaths of clean air were suddenly gasps that didn’t give him enough to actually survive on. As much as he wanted to run to them, the night was pulling at him. There was safety in the darkness, where no one could see him. No one would know he was there.

  She’d left him in there. Because she’d had to, but she’d been able to leave him there.

  She’d walked away from him without a look back.

  Maybe she didn’t want him to wrap her up in a big hug.

  The boy broke away from her, charging up at him. Nobody flinched when the boy tackle-hugged him. “I missed you so much,” he said in a quiet voice. Even as he said it, he kept a cautious eye on the sheriff.

  Nobody didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Everyone was watching him, expecting him to do something. But he didn’t know what. The last time he’d been released from prison, no one had been waiting for him. No one had expected anything from him.

  The shadows reached up and pulled at him. Free. He was free. He just … he just needed to think, to figure out what he was supposed to do now.

  “You’re all right,” he said almost as much to himself as to Jamie. That’s what he’d wanted, right? To see with his own eyes the boy was all right.

  Well, now he’d seen it. The boy was fine. Just like Melinda had promised he would be. She’d take good care of him. Better than Nobody could, that much was clear.

  He patted the boy on the head. “I’ve … I’ve got to go.”

  “What? Go where?” Jamie took a step back. “Don’t you want to come see the house? I got my own room and everything! I was waiting for you!”

  Nobody looked over to where Melinda was still leaning against the car. She wasn’t scowling at him, not like she’d been last time, but she wasn’t throwing her arms around his neck, either.

  “I’ll come see you,” he said to the boy. Then he took a step—not toward the boy, not toward the woman. And definitely not toward the sheriff. “Stay with her, you hear?”

  Toward the shadows. Toward the safety of the night.

  “Nobody?” Melinda called out.

  But he didn’t turn back. He ran into the shadows and was gone.

  It was better this way.

  *

  Oh, God. He’d just … disappeared.

  “Nobody?” Jamie yelled. “Nobody!”

  “How the hell does he do that?” Sheriff Means said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

  “He just does,” Melinda replied, trying so very hard to keep her cool. “Jamie, honey—let’s go. He won’t come back here.”

  “Better not,” Sheriff Means replied. The phone rang inside. “Ms. Mitchell, always a pleasure.” Then he went inside.

  “Where’d he go?” Jamie all but wailed. “I want Nobody!”

  Melinda looked into the lengthening shadows, trying to find the darker one. She didn’t. “He’ll come back,” she said, although she didn’t know if she was trying to reassure herself or the boy.

  “But why didn’t he come home with us now?” Jamie asked, his voice growing tight. “You said he could—you said he would!”

  She crouched down in front of Jamie and held him by his shoulders. “First off, you need to calm down. Second off, he’s been in jail for a long time.” Almost five weeks. That was her doing. Oh, God—what had she done?

  But she had to keep it together for Jamie. “He just needs to … I don’t know. Get things sorted out again, you know?”

  Jamie nodded and sniffled. She pointed him back to the car, proud that she’d managed to be normal and not go running off into the dark after that man.

  He’d just gone, so fast that she’d hardly been able to see him.

  She drove Jamie home, trying to figure out what had happened. She hadn’t lied to the boy, she was pretty sure. Five weeks was a long time for Nobody to be locked away. He probably did need to get things straightened out in his head.

  Or maybe … maybe he didn’t want to see her. Maybe he was mad at her. Could she blame him?

  “Let’s build a fire,” she told Jamie. She didn’t say it, but she thought, for Nobody. They roasted marshmallows—something Jamie had never done before—and talked about how they were going to paint his room that weekend. He wanted spaceships and planets, so Melinda told him they could paint the solar system on the ceiling, if he wanted.

  As she and Jamie talked, she kept her eye on the trees around them. Nobody would come, she decided. He had to. He’d have to come and see that Jamie was okay, right?

  He’d have to come see her, wouldn’t he?

  But he didn’t. She tucked Jamie into bed and sat by the fire a while longer before deciding that maybe, if she went to bed, there’d come a tap on the window in the middle of the night and Nobody would climb into her room and into her arms.

  She lay awake for a long time, listening with all her might for any possible sound that could come from a man outdoors. As she lay there, she was forced to confront the fact that he might not come.

  She’d left him in there, locked away from everything he loved. She hadn’t told him she was waiting for him because … because she’d been so mad at the time. Because she’d been worried and overwhelmed with everything she was suddenly responsible for, she hadn’t been able to think about what would happen next.

  Had she really believed that Nobody would walk out of that jail and into her arms like nothing had happened? And they’d waltz off into the sunset, an almost normal family of sorts—a child, a foster mother and a father-figure?

  That’s what she’d wanted to happen.

  That’s not what happened.

  As she drifted off to a restless sleep filled with coyotes slinking through the tall prairie grass, she decided they’d make another fire tomorrow night.

  *

  Nobody stood by the creek, rubbing his horses’ noses, one after the other. They hadn’t forgotten him, he was happy to see. It didn’t matter where he’d been or why he’d been there—he was back now and that was all that mattered. They hadn’t been brushed in a long time and they all looked a little ragged, but otherwise, they were the same as they’d ever been. Red was so glad to see Nobody that the horse almost knocked him off his feet when she nudged him. Star was still here—he wondered when the old girl had gotten back. Had Melinda let her go or had she taken off by herself?

  If Melinda had let Star go that meant that she didn’t want him back.

  Even though it was probably the truth, he pushed the thought away. He couldn’t think of that right now.

  After he’d touched each one of his herd, he walked the dark path up to camp. It was probably close to three in the morning—he’d taken a long, winding path back here, just in case the sheriff got it into his head that he should maybe track Nobody back to his home. It was too late to start a fire, so Nobody flipped on his Christmas lights and sat in his chair.

  He was free again. He could come and go as he pleased. He could stay out here as long as he wanted. Things could go back to the way they used to be.

  Back to being alone.

  Worse than that. Back to being lonely.

  It wouldn’t be so bad, would it? He’d been alone out here before and he
’d survived all right. He had his horses and his books. That had been enough before.

  But as he sat in his chair and watched the night sky, breathing in free air and letting the shadows hold him close, another thought filled his head.

  He could slink into Melinda’s place, tap on her window. He could slip inside and tell her how much he’d missed her—then show her how damn much he’d missed her.

  He could stay the whole night, not just until she fell asleep. In the morning, he could see the boy, maybe go for a ride with him.

  He was half out of his chair before the image of her, all mean and scowling, came back to him. What if …

  What if she said no? What if she closed the window in his face?

  He wanted to think she wouldn’t do that, not to him, but then—she had left him in that jail.

  Nobody sat there for a long time, arguing with himself before he realized the truth of the matter.

  She had said she needed him, too—it wasn’t like she’d told him to go to hell. She’d asked him to trust her, asked him to give her a reason to trust him.

  Well.

  He sure as hell couldn’t do that from out here.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  “What’s a some-more again?” Jamie asked as he roasted a marshmallow over the fire.

  Frankly, the marshmallows were the only things still keeping him here. Another day or two and Melinda knew that he’d slip off into the woods to go look for Nobody himself.

  So she’d upped her game—marshmallows plus chocolate. “S’mores. Because they’re so good you want some more. S’more. Say it fast.”

  Jamie looked at her like she was nuts. “Yeah, okay. Got it. What are they, again?”

  Melinda arranged the square of chocolate on the graham cracker. “Here—put your marshmallow here.” When he did, she squished the two halves together. “Count to ten so you don’t burn yourself, then voilà! Eat!”

  The boy rolled his eyes at her. “I’m not a baby.” But even as he said it, he took the s’more from her. “Mmmm,” he said around a mouthful. “Good.”

  Melinda grinned at him, but then she turned her gaze to the trees that surrounded her house. Her house. The one with the boy she was now legally responsible for.

  It was a lot of responsibility.

  The shadows looked normal. No extra-dark spots that were roughly the size and shape of a man. A specific man.

  If he didn’t come soon, she’d let Jamie track him down. She’d have no choice. She had to tell Nobody she wanted him to come back—that she did trust him. Jamie could find him. And if Nobody wouldn’t come, well, she’d have Jamie take him to her.

  This couldn’t be the end of it. It just couldn’t.

  She and Jamie made a few more s’mores. The night fell faster now that autumn was upon them.

  The thought of long, cold winter nights without Nobody’s warm arms to snuggle into made her feel sad in new and painful ways. And what about him? Sleeping out in lawn furniture, for God’s sake, until he was finally driven into his trailer of books by a blizzard? The image was so depressing that not even Jamie pulling off the perfect s’more could make her smile.

  Then … it started out as a small prick on the back of her neck. Just a tickle. The sensation cascaded down her back, making her muscles twitch. The air around her took on a heavy feel to it, like lightning was on the verge of striking.

  Like someone was about to shock her.

  She grinned as she poked the fire. He’d come. She hadn’t even had to track him down.

  Still, she wanted a moment with him before Jamie tackled him again. “Time for bed,” she said to the boy. “You know the drill—wash, brush, jammies.”

  Jamie gave her a funny look as he wiped chocolate off his face with his forearm. “What—now?”

  “Now,” she replied with more force. “Go. When you’re done, you can come back out for a little bit.” With any luck, Nobody would still be here.

  Jamie mumbled under his breath, but he got to his feet and went inside. Melinda waited a moment, but the static electricity didn’t fade away. He was still here, watching her.

  She should have known—he’d always come back to watch her. To make sure she and Jamie were safe. It was his way. “Good evening, Mr. Bodine.” She stuck another marshmallow on her stick and sat. It was his move to make.

  He didn’t make her wait long. Out of the corner of her eye, the darkness seemed to bend and then break away and a man stepped into the firelight.

  “How’d you know I was here?” he asked. But he didn’t come any closer.

  “You’re stealthy but not invisible.” She looked up at him. He seemed thinner now, still worn down by his time behind bars. But he’d come. That was the important part. “I could feel you.”

  The corner of his mouth moved, as if he wanted to smile at her but was afraid to. He didn’t say anything else.

  “Did everything check out?”

  “Yeah,” he said. Then he took a small step forward. The air seemed to almost shimmer around him. Melinda swore she could feel the charge from this far away.

  Nervous, she realized. Scared.

  Scared of her.

  “I was worried about you,” she went on, knowing full well he wasn’t going to say anything else. “I was going to give you another day or so and then I was going to send Jamie after you.”

  “You were?” Another step into the light.

  “I was. Don’t sound so surprised by that. I’ve been worried about you for weeks.”

  He stopped. “But I thought—I thought you’d washed your hands of me. I screwed up and you were done with me.”

  She stood and walked to him. “I never said that, did I?” He flinched when she touched him, even though it was just her palm to his cheek. “It hurt, to see you like that. It hurt me to know that leaving you in there was for the best. To know that I was doing that to you. I couldn’t … I couldn’t see you like that.”

  He stared down at her. For a second, she thought he was going to bolt on her—hit her with a burst of electricity and be off again. But then he leaned into her touch, his hands resting on her waist. “I didn’t want you to see me like that, either.”

  “So I stayed away. I focused on getting Jamie. I got the house ready and passed the classes and got custody. But I never forgot you, Nobody.” She looped her hands around his neck, pulling him down to her. “I couldn’t. Not you.”

  He sighed, like he’d been hoping she’d say that but was afraid she wouldn’t. But instead of kissing her, he stopped just short. “I was a damn fool. I should have trusted you. I should have waited.”

  “It’s okay. I understand.” She stood on her tiptoes, her lips almost brushing his.

  He jerked his head back. “But I don’t—see, I don’t know how to give you a reason to trust me. I don’t know what I can do to show you that I trust you.” The words ripped out of him with so much anguish—five weeks’ worth of it.

  “Come sit with me by the fire. Come inside with me. Stay with me until I wake up.” He gave her something that might have been a grin if it hadn’t been so worried. “Help out with Jamie,” she went on. “Go riding with him, show him how to work with horses. Make him do his chores. You can’t ever do just one thing to make me love you, Nobody.”

  “I can’t?”

  “You can’t. And I can’t either. I have to show you every day that I trust you, that I love you. So come and sit with me. When Jamie comes out, ask him how his day was. Ask him what a s’more is.” She swallowed, suddenly nervous. His hands were still on her hips, but there was no give to him. He was still holding himself apart from her.

  Maybe she deserved that. She’d left him in jail, after all. She’d gotten him moved to a nicer jail, gotten him a window—but it was still a cage with a lock. He might hate her for that. And she wouldn’t be able to blame him.

  “You … you love me?” His voice was so quiet it barely even qualified as a whisper.

  “I do. Even when you go behind my bac
k.” She traced her fingers over the round of his cheek, down his jaw and over the scars. “I want you to stay with me. And—” Her voice caught. There was no give in his body, none. He wasn’t going to come sit with her. “And if you can’t stay, I want you to come back. There will always be a place for you at my fire. There will always be a place for you in my heart, Nobody Bodine.”

  “I’ve never loved anyone. I don’t know how to love you.”

  He said it gently, but it broke her heart anyway. Tears pooled in her eyes and she started to nod.

  But then he cupped her face in his hands, tilting her lips up to his. “Will you show me how?”

  “Yes.” The word came out harder than she meant it to, but that’s what happened when someone tried to talk and not cry at the same time. She searched his eyes and saw the fear.

  No one had ever loved him before. No one had ever seen him before, so how could they love him? She was the only one crazy enough to look at what was right in front of her—a man. An imperfect man who was going to make mistakes, yes, but a man who would always, always do the right thing, who would protect her and Jamie, who would love them in the only way he could.

  “I want to love you,” he whispered as his lips touched hers. “I want you so much. But I’m scared I’ll screw it up just like I screwed this up. I’m working on being good, but …”

  “I’ll help you,” she managed to choke out. “We’ll work on it together.”

  He leaned back and looked at her. “You’re crying,” he said, terror in his voice. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No—God, no. I’m just so glad you’re going to try. I’m not going to give up on you, Nobody. All I can ask is that you don’t give up on us.”

  He rubbed a tear from her cheek. “Us. Never had an us before.”

  She opened her mouth to tell him that now he did—him and her and Jamie all together. But the door to the house slammed open. “Nobody!” Jamie launched himself out of the house. “You’re here! Did you come to see me? Did you come to stay?”

  Nobody looked down at her and smiled. A real smile, honest and true. A small flash of electricity made her skin tingle, but he didn’t melt into the shadows and he didn’t bolt. He just held her all the more tighter.