The Devil Has Tattoos

by Destiny Ford

  My mom shook her head, a little smile playing at the corners of her lips. “I think you might be in denial, Kate.”

  I scooped Gandalf up. “Probably in the same way you’re in denial about how your phone confused a swear word with a crustacean.”

  My dad laughed and my mom’s lips pressed into a perturbed line. “Thanks for taking care of Gandalf,” I said, giving my mom and dad both a hug. My dad petted Gandalf’s little black head and my mom kissed it. “I’ll bring him by tomorrow morning on my way to work,” I said.

  “I’m baking him probiotic and vitamin infused pumpkin cookies shaped like little bones. He should be excited!” mom said.

  I laughed as I went out the door and on the way home, I had the fleeting thought that my dog probably ate better than I did.

  Chapter Seven

  Gandalf and I had a yummy breakfast. I got peanut butter toast and coffee. He got freeze dried raw food and goats milk with vitamins. His food cost more than mine on a weekly basis, but I’d done my research and knew how much better Gandalf’s health would be and how much longer he’d live on a specialized diet. The freeze dried raw option made it much more pleasant than feeding him actual raw meat.

  After we both finished eating, I loaded him up and secured him in his car seat in my Jeep, and dropped him off at my mom and dad’s house before heading into work. My mom had still been horrified over the little poop and shrimp situations, but I had no doubt she’d find something else to concern herself with shortly.

  I checked my phone as I got out of my Jeep and saw a text from Annie. I texted back and we set up lunch.

  I hadn’t even made it three steps into the office when Ella accosted me in front of the water cooler. “I heard if that fornication law was still in force, you and Hawke would both be in jail for defilin’ the kids’ swing at the park.”

  I rolled my eyes and moved past her to my desk, putting down my coffee thermos—which I wasn’t afraid to say contained actual coffee, unlike most people in town who lied and said they were drinking “hot chocolate” because they didn’t want to be judged for their sinful hot beverage choices.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, trying very hard not to want to boob punch some nosy Ladies. “Hawke and I were just talking. In a totally public place.”

  One of Ella’s eyebrows arched like she didn’t believe a word I’d said. “I heard there were all kinds of acrobatics happenin’ and Hawke was diddlin’ you in the swing.”

  My mouth dropped open. “That is patently false. And I’d need a much more private place than a park, with far more surface area than a swing, for what I’d want to do with him.” Though a swing could probably be worked nicely into that fantasy.

  Ella’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, and then she hit her hand on her leg. “Hot damn! I knew you two were doin’ it!”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “No, we aren’t.”

  “But you want to?” she asked with interest.

  “Have you seen Hawke,” I asked incredulously. “Who wouldn’t want to see him naked?”

  She gave me an appreciative look and I had a feeling she’d considered the same thing herself. “What about Drake?” Ella asked. “He’s still mighty interested in you. The Ladies said you were all over each other at the city council meetin’ last night.”

  I took a deep breath and counted to ten. “Drake sat next me at the city council meeting and talked to me about a story I’m working on. We didn’t even touch.”

  “But you want to,” Ella hinted, wiggling her eyebrows.

  “Drake is very nice to look at as well,” I said, trying to give a noncommittal answer because I did want to see them both naked, but I didn’t want the baggage that came with their nudity, or the choices I’d have to make after the liaison.

  Ella’s phone chimed and she squeaked as she looked at it. “I won a bid! I’m gonna need a new room with lotsa shelves for all these treasures I’m findin’ on Not Just Junk!”

  “What did you win this time?” I asked.

  “A stuffed animal!”

  I gave her a look. That didn’t seem worthy of celebration.

  “You know you can get stuffed animals at pretty much any store in town or online?”

  Ella shook her head so fast it looked like she was trying to evade a spastic wasp. “Not like this,” she said. “This is the super special batty-bat-squeak-and-scream edition. They only made five thousand! It was danged hard to get too, bein’ that Halloween is so close. Everyone wanted it for their Halloween displays!”

  That did not surprise me. Utah is well-known for its Halloween obsession, ghostly décor, and some of the best haunted houses in the United States. In some towns, Halloween decorations are more popular than Christmas decorations.

  “Well, I’m glad you got it.”

  “It wasn’t cheap, but it’ll be worth it when I post to Snapchat showing it off!”

  I gave her a look. “You have Snapchat?”

  “Sure I do! Only old people still use Facebook. I’m hip to all the new social.”

  I didn’t doubt it. She probably knew more about those apps than I did. And I couldn’t wait to find out what new groups The Ladies were forming to troll me on them all.

  A scratchy voice on the police scanner startled me. I listened as the dispatcher relayed a vandalism report and that police were being requested at the scene. When I heard the address of the property that had been hit, I was out the door before I even had a chance to see what Ella bid on next.

  I got out of my Jeep and saw the eggs covering the side of the house. Having been the recipient of a car egging recently, I knew what a royal pain it was to clean the slimy yoke and whites off of paint, and did not envy the job that awaited the homeowner—who was now rounding the side of the house and walking straight for me. “You must have really wanted me to come to your house, Drake,” I teased. “But this seems a little extreme, even for you.”

  He looked at me like I was nuts as he stopped a few feet from me. “As much as I want to see you, I wouldn’t have vandalized my own house to make it happen.”

  I made a tsk tsk noise. “I guess I know where I am on your priority list.”

  He leaned in next to me, his breath hot on my neck as he whispered, “I don’t think you do, actually. Why don’t you come inside and I’ll show you exactly where you stand, and where I brace you against a wall as I kiss you breathless.”

  I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks but decided I would not let him win. I smiled sweetly and held his eyes as I said, “It’s adorable you think you’d be in control in that scenario.”

  His lips slid into a slow and sensuous smile and I decided I needed to stop the sexy banter immediately or we’d be inside trying every one of the positions he’d considered and more. “I’ve never seen your house before,” I said, changing the subject.

  Drake lifted his brows. “You haven’t even driven by?”

  Okay, so I might have found his address, memorized it, and driven by repeatedly, but I’d never done serious reconnaissance. And I’d certainly never seen his house with him around, and I’d never looked at the interior. “I’m sure I’ve driven by it for a story at some point.”

  His eyes sparkled. “You should come in. Let me show you around.”

  I gave him a look. “Oh no. I won’t be coming inside.”

  Drake’s eyes darkened and he looked almost predatory. I’d seen him look that way before…when he was about to tackle someone on the football field, or tempt a cheerleader.

  I took a step back to get out of pheromone range. “I’m definitely not coming inside,” I said, just to make it clear that the double entendre wasn’t on purpose.

  “Inside. Outside. I’m not picky.”

  Neither was I. And that went for both Drake and Hawke. It was a problem.

  “Scared?” he asked.

  “Terrified,” I answered. “You’ve probably got some Mormon missionaries inside there waiting to accost me.”

  He rolled his
eyes and I redirected the conversation back to the current situation. “When did this happen?” I asked, gesturing to the wall of breakfast on his house.

  “Sometime after midnight, when I went to bed, and before seven in the morning, when I woke up.”

  “And you have no idea who did it?”

  He shook his head.

  “Pissed anyone off recently?”

  He laughed. “It would probably be easier to list who I haven’t pissed off.”

  We had that in common. “What about security cameras. You threatened to install them at my house, so I assume you have some here?”

  “I do, but whoever egged the house knew the cameras were there and chose angles the video didn’t cover.”

  “That’s frustrating. And interesting. It means it’s probably someone you know.”

  “Or someone who has been watching the house.” He pointed to the cameras on the roof at each corner of the home. “The cameras aren’t hidden, and the range isn’t far. It wouldn’t be hard to figure out the line of sight and stay out of it.”

  That was true, but it didn’t feel totally right. “It’s eggs. On your house. Dripping disaster onto your flower beds. That seems kind of personal.”

  He shrugged. “At least that’s all it was. I’ll get the pressure washer out and clean it off. It will be fine.”

  “Hopefully it’s an isolated incident.”

  “Fingers crossed,” he said, holding up his entwined fingers. “I—”

  The romantic strains of “Play Me” started coming from my bag and Drake stopped talking mid-sentence. “Whose ringtone is that?” he asked with narrowed eyes.

  I pulled my phone out and hit the button that sent the call to voicemail. “I don’t really think that’s any of your business.”

  He eyed me for a minute, trying to decide if he wanted to push the issue. He decided to go with a different tactic. “What’s my ringtone?”

  “It’s “Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show”,” I answered without apology.

  His eyes widened in offense. “The song about the traveling preacher?”

  “Yep.”

  “Why in the world would you choose that song for me?”

  “Because every time you call, it reminds me that you’re a religious politician and both of those things complicate other things.”

  A muscle worked at his jaw. “I disagree. And I think you need to choose a better ringtone for me.”

  “I think this one is perfect. You should be happy about it. You used to not even warrant your own ringtone at all.”

  He gave me a very dissatisfied look. “And a traveling preacher convincing people to blindly follow him and do dumb things is supposed to be an upgrade?”

  I looked at him like he’d lost his mind and seriously needed an attitude adjustment. “It’s basically the most fun song in the history of music to sing along to! It’s definitely an upgrade!”

  I got the feeling he didn’t agree by the way the vein in his forehead was popping.

  “You need to work on being more grateful,” I said, pointing at him. “Your life would be so much better for it.” I poked him in the chest as I spoke, and as a zing of electricity pulsed through me at the contact, I realized touching him might have been a bad idea. I snapped my finger back and discreetly checked to see if it was smoking before glancing up at Drake. Judging by the look in his eyes, he didn’t seem to think touching had been a bad idea at all. I needed to get both of our thoughts off the front door that was only thirty feet away and the house that contained comfortable beds and very sturdy walls. “You said you had some information for me? Why don’t you tell me now since I’m here. It will save you a trip into town.”

  “Are you ready to have a conversation about what’s happening between us?” he asked.

  I pursed my lips. “No, not really.”

  “Why?”

  I took a deep breath and blew it out. “Because I don’t have any answers, Drake,” I said, exasperated. “I’m still trying to figure it out.” I was annoyed that I had to explain it. Hawke had just understood me and my mental state. Probably because he undoubtedly had a file on me bigger than Cambridge Analytica’s, but still. I didn’t have to explain myself with Hawke, and that was nice.

  Drake considered me for a moment. “What can I do to help you?”

  I shook my head and sighed. “See, this is the thing dudes get wrong. You want to fix things and move forward, but that’s not what I need. I don’t want you to fix this. It’s not something you can fix anyway, it’s something I need to work through on my own and make some decisions about. Some things take time and can’t simply be dealt with and moved on from. What I need is for you to be there for me while I figure it out. If I have questions or need something in the meantime, I’ll let you know. But I’m confused and still processing. Until I work through my emotions, I can’t tell you anything.”

  For a few seconds, I thought for sure the lawyer in him was going to try and fight me on my assessment. He even opened his mouth like he was about to launch into a defense, but then he closed it, pulled back, and nodded. “Okay. I’ll be here if you need me.”

  I blinked, wondering if I’d somehow entered an alternate universe. Our entire relationship, or whatever it was, ran on banter. I was surprised that not only had he listened to me and wasn’t trying to argue his point and get what he wanted, he was also agreeing to give me space. I was about to say thank you when he continued, “The thing I was going to tell you is that I saw Scott Pope at the grocery store.”

  “The first robbery victim?”

  Drake nodded. “He was telling me about the robbery and mentioned that their four-year-old, Theo, blamed it on his imaginary friend, Speckles.”

  “Speckles? Interesting name.”

  Drake nodded. “Theo said he looks like he’s covered in paint speckles, so that’s what he named his friend.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “I’m not sure that a four-year-old is the best source of information. The six-year-old kid across the street blamed it on a superhero climbing walls.”

  “That’s the thing,” Drake said. “Theo says Speckles has special powers.”

  I grinned at that. “Did Theo mention what Speckles’s powers are?”

  The corner of Drake’s lips lifted slightly. “Fighting crime and telling stories.”

  I folded my arms across my chest. “Fantastic. So we’ve got an imaginary friend that may or may not be real, who fights crime and tells stories. I’m sure that will turn out to be an excellent lead.”

  Drake lifted his shoulders. “You never know. Maybe you’ll make a connection later and it will all make sense. I thought I should let you know though.”

  I wasn’t under the illusion that Speckles would provide me with the robbery smoking gun, but I was in the business of information and the more I had, the better. Even if it sometimes seemed ridiculous. “Thanks for letting me know, Drake.”

  He nodded. “Wanna stick around? I could use some help cleaning this off, and I probably won’t be wearing a shirt.”

  That offer was mighty tempting. Luckily, the universe knew I had no self-control and gifted me with my phone buzzing and a text from Spence. It wasn’t anything urgent, but I was absolutely going to use it as an excuse to avoid Drake temptation. “I have to get back to the Tribune, but I’ll talk to you later.” I tried not to sound too disappointed at not getting to watch him scrub down his house sans shirt, but I was. “Good luck with your house omelet.”

  He gave me a look. “Ha ha.”

  I laughed and waved as I walked away, trying not to think of Drake hosing down his house shirtless. If I’d known he was going to be half-naked, I would have egged it myself, and then come back to watch the clean-up.

  I got in my Jeep, put my bag down, and pretended to play on my phone for a few minutes while I inconspicuously watched Drake and his abnormally large arms and inhuman abs obliterate the breakfast on his house. I grabbed a pen and put eggs on my shopping list.

  O
n my way back to work, I saw Betty Turner coming out of Get Crafty, the local craft store. She was with a pretty woman wearing an adorable sweater, scarf, boots, and oversized beanie cap that covered her whole head. Sweaters, fuzzy socks, and fall colors were my favorite parts of autumn in Utah. I was happy to see that Betty was out of the hospital and back to herself. I’d hoped she wouldn’t let the robbery scare her into not living her life and it seemed like she hadn’t.

  A white sedan pulled up next to me at one of the town stoplights. Both the driver and passenger turned to stare at me. One was wearing a moose head, and the other appeared to have whiskers, cat ears, and a little pink nose. I stared back, trying to figure out what in the world required a costume mid-morning on a weekday. The car made a right turn, screeching around the corner.

  What was up with all these costumes? Were they appearing because Halloween was coming up, or was there a full-on furry convention happening in Branson Falls that I hadn’t been made aware of. Surely, there would have been a news release of some sort. And people in Branson would be far more upset about some of the things that happen at furry conventions than they were about the opening of a tattoo shop and coffee house.

  Given the robberies and two separate kids who seemed to think outfit-wearing superheroes and imaginary friends were hanging around their neighborhoods, I felt like I needed to do a little digging into this costume situation. I checked my rearview mirror and then made a right turn in pursuit of the potential furries.

  I saw the white sedan about a half a mile in front of me and pushed on the gas to catch up. The sedan must have seen me as well, because they put their foot on the gas. I pressed harder on the gas too, but this was a residential neighborhood with lots of kids. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt in my chase, and also didn’t want to be reported to The Ladies, or the police, so I went as fast as I thought I could get away with. The white sedan had no such scruples and went as fast as they wanted.

  The moose and cat careened around a corner. I followed, but the street branched off into three directions and by the time I got around the corner as well, I couldn’t see the white sedan anywhere. I’d lost them, and I was annoyed with myself. I was going to have to ask around and find out if anyone else knew who these people were, and why they were showing up all over town like they were doing a live action version of an animated fairy tale. Maybe it had something to do with the robberies? Or maybe it was that Halloween wasn’t far away and people were excited to show off their outfits. I wasn’t sure, but I’d find out.