His Two Alphas

by Anna Wineheart

  Micah missed Kai, too. Missed his quiet presence, the intensity of his gaze, the banter he had with Spike. Time and again, Micah wondered what it’d be like, if he told Kai what he’d realized: I love him. But that only meant Micah shouldn’t say it, because holding Kai back from his future was the last thing Micah wanted to do.

  Spike scowled. “I saw him replying to our other friends. He’s just avoiding us.”

  Micah’s heart sank. Kai wasn’t the type to disappear for no reason. Last week, Kai had buried his face in their clothes, and he’d smiled. But later in the conversation... something had made him clam up. Then he’d left abruptly again.

  Micah bit his lip, stroking his belly. “I’ll message him to ask.”

  “I think he should come home,” Spike said, narrowing his eyes. “You shouldn’t have told him to leave.”

  Micah sighed. They’d been having this argument increasingly, and it always ended in a stalemate. “No, Spike. He’s twenty. Life is too short to chain yourself to something you don’t even know. Even you—”

  “But how do you know Kai will be happy there? I think he’s happier with us,” Spike retorted.

  “That’s for him to decide, isn’t it?” Micah unlocked his office door. “Anyway, you should leave. I’m due to have a meeting with Bernard Hastings in a while.”

  Micah didn’t even want the meeting. But Bernard had insisted on following up with some departmental form, and it gave Micah the cold shivers. Maybe Bernard wanted to talk about what Micah had overheard in the office the other day.

  Spike followed him in. “Kai can be a huge butthead when he wants to be. You know how long he took to fall in love with you?”

  Micah almost tripped. What? “He—”

  “You didn’t know?” Spike glanced at Micah sidelong, shutting the door behind them. “It’s been months.”

  “Months? You mean... before he left?” Even before Spike answered, Micah read the answer in his eyes. Kai loved Micah, and all this while, he hadn’t said anything? Micah’s heart thumped.

  “Yeah.” Spike’s voice was low and rough. Micah knew it was tough for Spike. Spike had been tossing and turning in bed, constantly reaching out for Kai, only to find him missing. Even now, almost three months since Kai had left... Spike hadn’t been sleeping well.

  And Kai loved Micah.

  “I-I thought he...” Micah gulped. He’d kept his own feelings toward Kai a secret. There wasn’t any point, anyway, when Micah had insisted that Kai should pursue his dreams. “I just thought he was... fond of me.”

  Spike had to be wrong. Kai can’t love me.

  Spike laughed wryly. “Hell, no. The way he looks at you? When he started thinking you looked good, he was just smiling these tiny smiles. These days, he’s watching you like he wants to devour you. And I don’t mean in the fucking way, or the eating way. He looks like he wants to bring you home and mark every inch of you.”

  “That’s just sex, isn’t it?” But Micah’s heart thumped.

  “Well.” Spike looked thoughtful. “Maybe he just does that to me. He might show you his love some other way.”

  Gods, how had this gotten so messed up? Micah sat down behind his desk, Spike’s words whirling in his head. He yearned to know what Kai’s love felt like. And yet... Spike looked so young, standing in front of him. Tanned skin and perfect, ever so full of energy. Kai, too, with his sweat-soaked jersey and his youthful face.

  “I’m a dad, Spike.” Micah sighed, his heart heavy. “Sometimes I imagine York getting involved with someone two decades older, and he gives up his dreams because of that omega. That kills me inside. So when I think about you and Kai... I can’t do that to you. Your future is too important.”

  Spike narrowed his eyes. “To me, nothing is more important than you.”

  Gods, that kind of reliance was unhealthy. “No,” Micah said, kneading the gnarly scars on his right hand. He thought about the scars on the rest of his body, and the stares that he, Kai, and Spike sometimes attracted at the grocery store. “You need someone you aren’t throwing away your future for.”

  “I’m not!” Spike’s eyes flashed. Then he reached into his backpack, tearing out a sheath of assignments. He thumped them on the desk. “Look at this and tell me I’m throwing away my future. I’m not, and you know it. I haven’t even asked you for help with the classes. I’m doing damn well on my tests.”

  There were three assignments on the desk—all with Spike’s name, and all with an A grade.

  Spike was right. But over the past week... Micah’s nightmares had haunted him. He’d dreamed of the fire and the scars. Then he’d dreamed about Kai and Spike finally seeing Micah for who he was—with the expanse of blotchy skin, the bald patches on his head.

  In those dreams, Kai and Spike had left Micah, moving far away, leaving him alone. The memory was enough to make his stomach twist.

  Spike prowled close, towering over Micah in his chair. A low rumble left his throat, and he leaned so close that the heat of his body bled through Micah’s shirt. “I’m not leaving,” Spike growled, cupping Micah’s nape.

  Then he hauled Micah against him and meshed their lips together. Spike’s kiss was hungry and possessive, sharp teeth scraping along Micah’s lips. Micah groaned, his insides growing hot when Spike dragged his wrist down Micah’s chest, all the way between his legs. Spike rubbed his wrist over Micah’s covered cock, marking him there. Micah grew painfully hard; he moaned into Spike’s mouth.

  There was something Micah was supposed to be doing, and it wasn’t this. Unease prickled in his mind.

  “Gonna make you come so hard when we get home tonight,” Spike growled against his lips. “And we’ll put it on video so Kai can watch and get jealous. Serves him right for being absent.”

  “No, don’t,” Micah began to say. Spike pushed his tongue into Micah’s mouth, tasting him.

  There was a sharp knock on the door; it swung open a second later.

  They broke the kiss too late. Spike pulled his hand away; Micah jerked back from him. Bernard Hastings stood in the doorway, those shrewd eyes scanning them, making a judgment. It wasn’t in Micah’s favor.

  “Bernard, I—” Micah fumbled for something to say, except his mind had gone blank, alarm filling it.

  Bernard’s lip curled. “Of all the things I expected to find, Davis.”

  Behind him, Harold Saxon stepped forward, disgust clear on his face. “I never expected another of my staff to do this, Bernard,” Harold said. “I’ll clean this up immediately.”

  Micah’s heart stopped. He leaped to his feet, stepping in front of Spike to protect him.

  Spike growled, grasping Micah’s arm. “No, you stay back.”

  “Spike—” Micah protested.

  Bernard’s gaze grew cold. Then he glanced at Micah’s desk, where Spike’s assignments lay. And even though Spike had earned every single one of those grades himself, it looked far too incriminating.

  “Bernard, I swear—” Micah began.

  “You know the college policy,” Bernard said, his stare boring into Micah. “We do not condone romantic relations with our students. It besmirches the reputation I’ve worked so hard to build for this college.”

  “But professors are allowed to have relationships with their students now,” Spike said, glowering. “It’s the new law.”

  “Only if it’s proven that they’re not exchanging favors for grades.”

  “I’m not,” Spike protested.

  Except Bernard glanced at the photos on Micah’s desk. One of them stood out—the picture of Kai and Spike grinning, arms around each other. Recognition flashed through Bernard’s eyes; Micah’s heart squeezed. Kai was Bernard’s illegitimate son; Bernard didn’t want that news spreading.

  Ice slid down Micah’s spine. “It isn’t how it looks—”

  “I forced him,” Spike said suddenly, stepping forward. “I kissed him without his consent.”

  But that would ensure Spike’s expulsion from the college.


  Micah shook his head. “No. I coerced him.”

  Spike turned to look at Micah in horror. “No!”

  “Then both of you are at-fault.” Bernard nodded Harold toward the desk. “Take the assignments, and Davis’ computer. We’ll launch an investigation.”

  “You don’t have to.” Micah swallowed, panic fluttering in his throat. “I didn’t exchange grades for favors with Spike. He earned them through his own efforts.”

  Harold Saxon glanced at the photo. “And Kai Ventura?”

  Micah fought to keep his composure. “Not him, either.”

  “But he was your alpha.” Bernard’s stare burned holes into Micah’s skin. “That scent on your skin belonged to him.”

  Micah didn’t say anything. He couldn’t afford to. And Harold’s sneer grew.

  “Intimate relations with two students?” Bernard asked. “With your history of handing out favors, a thorough investigation is necessary. You’ll be suspended until further notice.”

  Micah’s stomach dropped to his feet. His ears rang.

  Spike looked disbelieving. “What favors? Micah doesn’t do that.”

  Bernard shot Spike a withering look; Micah knew what Bernard would say, moments before he did.

  “Did you think your... professor acquired his position through the standard means?” Bernard raised his eyebrow. Even Harold looked surprised. Micah wanted to dissolve into a puddle. It was his darkest secret. The one nobody could ever find out.

  “Bernard,” Micah choked. Not in front of Spike. Please, no. “You can’t—”

  Spike turned to look at Micah, surprise growing on his face.

  If it had only been Bernard and Harold, maybe Micah might have survived. But seeing Spike’s confusion, then realization, and shock... Micah could no longer face his alpha. I’m not the upstanding person you thought I was.

  Never mind that Micah had traded blowjobs for his position so he could feed his son. Never mind that it had happened years ago.

  Bernard drew himself to his full height. He scanned the office, then nodded at a frowning Harold. “On second thought, we’ll bypass the preliminary investigation. For your past conduct, Davis, and your present liaisons with your students, you’re fired.”

  Micah couldn’t breathe. Ice slid through his heart. He touched his belly, but his thoughts had ground to a halt.

  “You can’t do that,” Spike snapped. “That’s against the law!”

  “I’m the college president,” Bernard said dismissively. “My word is the law.”

  Spike growled, pointing at Micah. “Then you don’t know what kind of talent you’re losing. Do you have any idea what sort of worth Micah has?”

  Bernard glanced at Micah, his stare sweeping from Micah’s face, down to his hand, and his belly. “No,” Bernard said. “I don’t. All I see is a failure who’s been slinking along, trying to hide his incompetence.”

  “I always knew Davis’ standards dropped after he was hospitalized,” Harold added, mocking.

  In that moment, Micah had never hated his scars more—they felt like thick, lumpy slugs on his skin, reinforcing the notion that Micah couldn’t do anything right. That, try as he might, there were parts of Micah that no one could possibly see past. Ugliness that Spike and Kai couldn’t live with forever.

  Bernard turned. Spike lunged.

  “Don’t fucking say that to him,” Spike snarled, swinging his fist at Bernard’s head.

  Micah’s heart stopped. No! He leaped at Spike, grabbing Spike’s arm before his fist connected with Bernard. “Spike,” Micah hissed, yanking him back. “Don’t!”

  Bernard whirled around, glaring at Spike. “I usually give three warnings to a student, but you’ll only get one. Another offense, and you’ll be expelled.”

  With that, Bernard swept out of the office, Harold in tow. Micah held on tight to Spike’s bicep until Bernard and Harold were no longer in earshot.

  Spike shook Micah’s grip off, his eyes flashing. “Why’d you stop me? That bastard deserved a punch!”

  And so do I, because I’ve hidden a truth from you, and I’ve done terrible things in my past. Micah straightened his shoulders, his face burning with shame. He couldn’t look at Spike. I’m fired. I shouldn’t have let him kiss me. We shouldn’t have started any of this.

  He turned, carefully picking up the stationery scattered around his desk. Tomorrow, and the day after... where would he go to earn money? He was already forty-one, and he had a baby on the way.

  “He was bullshitting,” Spike said, stepping closer. “You didn’t sleep with him just for a job.”

  “I did.” Micah said it quickly, so he had no time to second-guess himself.

  Spike sucked in a sharp breath. And the silence between them stretched, Spike absorbing Micah’s shameful truth, imagining what Micah had done with Bernard. At some point, he would tell Kai, too, and Micah couldn’t possibly bear both his alphas knowing the truth about him.

  If Spike threatened Bernard a second time... he would lose his place at the college. The longer Micah let Spike stay close, the more Spike would want to protect him. Even if it was to Spike’s own detriment.

  Micah couldn’t let that happen. Not to someone with so much potential. Not when Spike had cradled his face and given him that toe-curling grin.

  The more Micah thought about it, the more his remaining options became clear. Spike couldn’t stay with Micah. Neither could Kai. Micah didn’t know when he’d find another job. He couldn’t possibly drag Spike down with him, or accept money from Kai.

  Your looks don’t make up for your mistakes, Bernard had said when they’d dated.

  You’re ugly and useless, Kai’s father had said.

  The hospital receptionist had stared at Micah, and Micah couldn’t imagine dragging Kai and Spike through all that with him. There was no way this thing between the three of them could last.

  “I’m not leaving,” Spike muttered, brushing his fingers through Micah’s hair. “I’m your—”

  “No, don’t say it.” Micah couldn’t breathe. He had to break up with Spike and Kai, and set them free. With no job, he was now a liability. The one thing Kai and Spike both hated to be. “Just go. I can’t afford to get hurt again.”

  Spike froze, his face paling. That had struck a nerve. Micah felt terrible for it, the guilt almost choking him.

  But if Spike joined Kai in Colorado... they could be happy together. Or they could find a younger omega, someone beautiful who could bear them children with no pregnancy risks, when they were actually ready for a baby.

  And that bright future for them... It made Micah’s heart thump. Because he wanted the best for Spike and Kai, because he wanted them both to not have to struggle.

  “I’ll call Kai,” Spike began. For the first time in a long while, he looked nervous. His eyes raked over Micah’s scars, and Micah knew Spike still felt guilty about them. And because of that, Spike couldn’t push Micah to hang on to their relationship. “I’ll call him and get him home so he can take care of you—”

  “No,” Micah said, his heart cracking. “Don’t bother. Just... go. The both of you.”

  “Go?” Spike stared at Micah, refusing to understand.

  “Yes,” Micah said. “I’m breaking up with you.”

  Spike made a soft, hurt sound, disbelief darting through his eyes. “I promised protection—”

  “I can find it elsewhere.”

  The hurt creeping through Spike’s face... it was difficult to watch. Micah turned away, clenching his fists so it wasn’t obvious that he was shaking. I can’t believe I’m hurting him. But it’ll be worth it in the end.

  “But Kai—Kai loves you. You can’t...” Spike reached out for him.

  Micah shook his head. They were so close to Spike and Kai finding a happier future. Micah had been selfish for months. It was time to let them go.

  He pointed at the office door. “Take your things. I don’t want to see you in my home. This has gone on longer than it should have.”
<
br />   “I love you,” Spike said quietly. “And I won’t stop loving you. You know that.”

  Pain slid slow and deep through Micah’s chest. “Go,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Before I tell York to throw your things out.”

  That seemed to break Spike. Spike trembled, blinking hard. He raked his gaze over Micah, as though he was trying to memorize what Micah looked like right then. But Micah was without makeup, he had bald spots on his head, and he felt rotten to the core.

  Spike grabbed his satchel, crossing the few feet to the office door. Then he gave Micah a last lingering look, and stepped out, his gaze intent, as though Micah was still the most precious person he’d ever found.

  The moment the door closed, Micah sank into his office chair, burying his face in his hands. The tears came then, and Micah was powerless to stop them.

  He’d known he was living on borrowed time when he’d met Kai and Spike. He’d been pretending that he was worth something, that he was pretty enough. But with no job, with no erasing the scars on his body... It was inevitable that the illusion would end.

  Micah wished he could return to yesterday, to before Kai had left, when he still had his alphas by his side. He wished he’d taken the time to savor their presence, he wished he’d known this would end so soon.

  Those memories would have to be enough from now on.

  33

  Kai

  Kai was toweling off his sweat when his phone rang. Along the side of the court, the rest of the team had scattered to make the most of their fifteen-minute break. Kai slung his towel over his shoulder, unzipping his satchel. Should’ve put it on silent mode.

  A name flashed on the screen. Spike.

  Kai frowned. Spike knew not to call during the day. Was it an emergency? “Spike?”

  No answer. Just background noise, and a shaky breath. Fuck.

  “Spike?” Kai asked again, stepping away from his teammates. “You there?”

  “I fucked up,” Spike said, his voice hoarse. “Sorry.”