The People vs. Cashmere

by Karen P. Williams

  “You look real nice, so don’t worry, Cashmere,” Caesar said.

  Shit, I hoped I did. But his words didn’t stop me from stressing. Maybe I should have told Caesar no about meeting his family. I was, after all, a stripper and an orphan Annie. He was getting ready to go to a good college. There was no way anybody could see me as being on his level or good enough for him. Shit, sometimes I doubted it. What did this fool see in me any damn way? Maybe if things were different for me, when Mama was actually a wife and mother, and my dad was of sound body and mind, when we were just a middle-class family.

  Caesar’s family lived in Ladera Heights, a part of California I’d never heard of. Now I thought before our dad got sick that we were doing pretty good in our middle-class neighborhood, but these big-ass houses made our house look like one damn room.

  “Caesar, your house looks like a mansion.”

  “It is one,” he said casually, like it wasn’t nothing.

  “It is?”

  “It’s nothing, Cashmere. Just extra space to clean.”

  But I found that hard to believe as we drove around the wraparound driveway and I saw a damn near perfect manicured lawn and the marble entrance with the French double doors.

  As we walked up the steps, I saw a fireplace from the outside. And when he used his key and we stepped inside, there were windows in the damn ceiling, which he called skylights. A winding staircase overlooked the living room, so at any given time people could look down on us. I made sure I kept a smile on my face and didn’t curse. The hardwood floors were white and shiny, like someone had just polished them, so I took small steps, afraid I would bust my ass.

  “Are we the only ones here? I don’t hear anybody else, Caesar.”

  He chuckled. “The walls are sound-proof.”

  “Oh.” I felt so stupid and scared, and both feelings got the better of me.

  I turned and was about to run out the damn house, but Caesar grabbed me and whipped me around in his arms. “What’s wrong, Cashmere?”

  I shook my head and avoided his eyes. “You know damn well I don’t belong here. You know you met me at a strip club. What you doing is nice, but I’m not going to ever fit here, and it’s cool.”

  He studied me carefully. “If you don’t belong here, I don’t belong here. I can’t judge you for being in a strip club ’cause I was in one that night too. So I’m no better than you are. Coming or not coming from money does not define a person. And I think you are special. Even that night I met you, I felt you didn’t belong there. And you didn’t. You were just doing what you had to do. That makes you a better person than most people I know. So if you wanna leave, say the word. I’ll leave with you.”

  I thought about it as he waited patiently for my reply. And he was right. Yes, I could be mischievous, I had a dirty mouth, but I wasn’t a bad person, was I? If he didn’t see me as one and saw me as someone special, why couldn’t I? I used to. I pushed all the negative thoughts away. I would work them out later.

  “I’ll stay.” As I looked around, all I saw was luxury and money—expensive paintings, crystal, fur-lined couches . . .

  The double doors across the living room slipped open, and I could hear a woman’s voice, her heels clicking against the floor. I guess she didn’t care about scuffing them up, or falling.

  “Caesar, honey, is that you?”

  Caesar’s mother wore an expensive, sharp-looking suit. She was very pretty, and Caesar had a lot of his features from her. But it was the bling coming from so many places on her neck, ears, wrist, and fingers that really caught my attention. She was full of diamonds. She had on some sharp shoes too, the ones Mama use to drool over on the Internet (Jimmy Choo) that she never had enough money to buy, and her hair was slicked back in a thick bun. Judging from that house, all that shit on her had to be real.

  She walked down the long path from the dining room to the living room. “I thought I saw your car drive up, son.”

  “Hey, Mom.” Caesar untangled his hand from mine and embraced her.

  As he did, her eyes pierced me as her chin rested on his shoulder, so I offered a smile. She did too, but she might as well not have, ’cause it was a cold-ass one at that. I knew I was gonna have some shit with her.

  When she pulled away from her son and turned to me, I stuttered out like a damn retard. “Hi, ma’am.”

  “Hello.” Her hands barely touched mine when I held out my hand to shake hers.

  Bitch!

  “Is this the girl you were telling me and your dad about? That has been helping you at your little store.” She was now wiggling, rubbing the hand she shook mine with, and looking at it disdainfully, like she had just dipped it in shit.

  Caesar smiled. “Yeah.”

  She raised a brow. “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry. Yes, Mother, this is Cashmere, my girlfriend.”

  I stared down at the slick floor as I felt her eyes dissect me.

  Wasn’t shit warm about her reception.

  “Well, everyone is waiting on you, so let’s go in inside so we can eat.”

  “Right, Mom.”

  We followed after her into the dining room then walked down some stairs into another big room.

  When I stumbled on a step, Caesar rubbed my back, soothing me. “Relax, Cashmere.”

  The dining room was bigger than the whole café.

  I was introduced to everyone there, from his dad and grandparents, to an aunt and uncle, who were cool. But his evil-ass mom mean-mugged me the whole time I was there. Then his older brother, Angelo, wouldn’t stop looking at me, and when I held my hand out to his ugly-ass girlfriend and said hello, she brushed right past me like I wasn’t shit. Caesar’s brother would not leave me alone, though.

  The food was cool. Everything was set up like a buffet, and you pretty much got what you wanted, some stuff I had before, some I didn’t. There was regular stuff like pot roast, stuffed chicken, salmon, filet mignon, shrimp, lamb, lobster, lobster bisque, crab, clams, pasta, rice, potatoes, some shit called keish, artichokes I wasn’t gonna bother with, and asparagus and whatnot. I ate light as hell ’cause his mama watched me more than she chewed.

  I rose from the table to get some more food and avoided her eyes, which were making me dizzy.

  “Try the crab. It’s sweet and tender. Like you.”

  First, I thought it was Caesar getting a little freaky, but when I turned and saw it was Angelo, I frowned, grabbed some shrimp, and rushed back to the table.

  Questions during dinner ranged from where I was from, how old I was, what my parents did, to what I planned on doing with my life. The shitty part of it was that the mama was the one asking all the questions and didn’t give anyone else the chance to ask me shit. She damn near choked when I told her I wanted to do hair for a living, but Caesar held my hand under the table and squeezed it, letting me know he was okay with my dream.

  The dad cut in and said, “Well, we own a couple—”

  The mother cut him off and drilled me some more. She wasn’t gonna rest until she made me feel like uncomfortable, I guess. But I answered each question and kept eye contact with her ass. I know one thing, if Daddy was there he would have been proud of the way I handled myself. And Caesar was proud of me too.

  After dinner, people scattered around the house. The grandparents went into the family room to watch TV on this big-ass wide-screen TV. I know because I helped his grandmother in there.

  Everyone went out on the balcony, leaving Caesar and Angelo, who were attacking the leftover shrimp, lobster, and crab like little boys in a candy store.

  My bladder started talking to me, so I asked, “Caesar, can you take me to the bathroom?”

  Before Caesar could answer, his father called out, “Angelo, take her to the bathroom.”

  Then before I could say, “Never mind. I’m cool. I’ll hold the shit,” he rushed off.

  A smile curved around Angelo’s lips. He looked identical to his brother, but he was just so trifling. Hitting on me despite
the fact that he had a fiancée, and that I was his brother’s girl made him ugly as hell to me.

  “No problem, little bro. Follow me.”

  I smiled, trying to be polite, but quickly changed my expression to a stern one, the way Daddy used to look at me when I did something wrong, so Angelo didn’t think I was inviting his advances.

  He slipped a hand around my waist.

  I pulled away and shifted my body to the left ’cause he was on my right.

  “You don’t remember me, do you?”

  “Naw, so please stop talking to me and show me the bathroom, please.” I was trying my best to not curse.

  “Bitch.”

  His eyes slid over my body, making my fucking skin crawl. I stopped walking and started to shake ’cause I was holding a fist back that I wanted to fire on him.

  “Your ass wasn’t so proper when you was popping your pussy on my dick or slapping your titties in my face for dollars at that house party, now were you?”

  Heat rushed to my face. I was having a hard time remembering his face. I mean, I had stripped for dozens of men and couldn’t help it that the only one that ever stood out to me was Caesar.

  “What house party, nigga?”

  He laughed. “That’s more like it. Your sister was there too.”

  Oh, shit! It came back to me now. A while back we did this private party for these dumb-ass college dudes, and Angelo was the drunk one who’d offered me an extra three hundred dollars to fuck him. I had told him to kiss my ass. I guess he couldn’t handle the rejection and was holding a grudge against me.

  “Is it coming back to you . . . slut?” Even as he insulted me, he reached over and tried to grab one of my breasts. “Now play nice, and I won’t mention it to Caesar.”

  Oh, he had me fucked up. I slapped his hand away. “Muthafucka, let’s get this straight. Caesar know what I do, but do he know his brother a piece of shit, trying to push up on his girl?” I rushed off before the muthafucka could answer, but deep down, I was too embarrassed to mention it to him.

  After I peed I couldn’t find Caesar, but his mother was still alone on the balcony, sipping on some wine.

  I approached her slowly and planted myself to her right, leaning slightly forward and looking out at the view. “You have a really nice house.”

  She assessed me coolly. “You’re very pretty, and you have a very beautiful body.”

  “Thank—”

  “But that’s really all you have going for yourself. And why have you attached yourself to my son?”

  “No, I—”

  “You what . . . came from a gutter and got your hands out for a prize? My prize, my son. Not going to happen. He’s going away to college soon, and once he gets his little dick wet in some pussy, trust me when I say he will leave you alone and go on to college like a good little boy. I’ve worked too hard to raise my boys with class, morals, and values for you to come up in here trying to interrupt the program. So I’m gonna say this to you once and only once—Stay the fuck away from my son, you piece of shit!”

  Chapter 14

  I was silent on the ride home, suppressing the urge to cry, or just tell Caesar to stop the car and find a bus and use my last to get a cab to take me home to the hotel.

  “Why you so quiet, babe?”

  I didn’t respond. My heart was aching. I knew sooner or later his parents, well, his bitch-ass mom, was going to make him get rid of me, dump me like I was some trash. I don’t think my feelings had ever been as hurt as when she said that shit to me out on the balcony. The words wouldn’t leave my head. All I could do was walk away and find Caesar, tell him my head was hurting, and that I needed to get back home.

  “I’m just sleepy,” I said in a quiet voice. “Well, go ahead and take a catnap. I’ll wake you when we get there.” I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t sleep. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all that night.

  And, yeah, Caesar’s mom damn sure wasn’t playing when she told me to stay the hell away from her son. I went to the café the next day, and it was closed. Not knowing where else to go, I walked home, only to find Ceasar pacing in front of his car, which was parked outside my room.

  When he caught sight of me, he walked up to me quickly and hugged me. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  He pulled away and looked me over. “You hungry?” Before I could even respond, he snatched my arm, ushered me to his car, and sped down the street, not even giving me time to snap on my seat belt. Then he pulled into the park and parked, all done in five minutes.

  I was almost scared to ask him what was wrong, but I had a feeling that I knew what it was about.

  “Mama is really tripping, Cashmere.”

  My heart started pounding. I knew it.

  “She has it in her silly, materialistic head that you’re not girlfriend material. She also gave me an ultimatum.”

  Now I wasn’t born in Laden Heights, or even too old. Still, I knew what that word meant. Mama gave those to Daddy all the time. Either take her out, or get no pussy. Buy her a purse, or get no pussy. Put some money in her hand, or get no pussy. Yeah, the word placed a sinking feeling in my stomach.

  “What was the ultimatum?”

  “Get rid of you or lose my café.”

  I figured which one he chose, and it damn sure wasn’t me. I couldn’t hate on him for his choice. He’d be a fool to pick my poor ass. I had no family and probably no future. Thinking this way, I guess you could say, logically made my eyes tear up even before he got his next words out.

  “So I guess you gonna have to find another job.”

  Man, did it make me smile to hear that.

  “My mom is crazy if she thinks I’m giving you up. She’s just a snob who let money rule her head. Either way, nothing is going to stop me from seeing you, Cashmere.” He tucked his hands in his front pockets, looked at the ground then back at me. “ ’Cause I love you. And, Cashmere, I don’t give a fuck that you stripped, that your mom is gone, that your sister is what she is. And I feel that you care about me just as much as I care about you. And I do want to take care of you, baby. And in time I will. It’s just I can’t offer you much now, but my heart.”

  I reached over and rubbed my knuckles across his cheek, and he kissed the inside of my palm.

  So all his dumb-ass mama did was bring us closer.

  We spent a lot of time together during that time. But time was also ticking, and he would be leaving soon to go to Grambling. He was on speaking terms with his father but still wasn’t speaking to his mother, who used to blow his cell phone up, but he never answered. He took me all over the place, Disneyland, Magic Mountain, bowling, to the movies. He would even offer me money, which I didn’t really want to take, but necessity made me, so I could get Desiree off my back.

  Desiree stopped selling drugs too. How she was racking in dough, I didn’t know, but we had just moved to a much nicer hotel, that’s for sure.

  After another day of fun at a golf course, Caesar helped me out of the car and followed me to our room.

  I turned, gave him a big hug.

  “What do you wanna do tomorrow?”

  “Oh Lord, look at the fucking lovebirds,” Desiree said, a blunt dangling from her lips and she was smiling. She never smiled when she saw me with Caesar ’cause she was too busy hating on me.

  “Well, I got some news for y’all. Now I got a boyfriend too. In fact he’s taking me out shopping tomorrow.”

  The look I gave her told he I didn’t give a shit.

  Caesar gave me a quick kiss, promised to pick me up tomorrow, and rushed off. For some reason, he always rushed off when Desiree was around.

  “Bye.” I waved to him and turned back to Desiree. “Get your ass out my way, Desiree.”

  Chapter 15

  As time wound down and Caesar had only a couple days before he left, I was starting to really stress. Despite how cool I had been that past month, knowing damn well he was leaving now, it was getting to me. I was about to lose him and I was mad at myself for
being sad. He was doing the best he could by me. But, shit, I loved him. Because of my age, it may have been puppy love but, this puppy love was killing me, just like the thought of not seeing him again.

  “Where the fuck is he?” I yelled out loud as I stood outside me and my sister’s hotel room.

  A husky voice said, “Right behind you.”

  I turned around quickly and shoved him playfully. “Boy! You scared me.” He pulled me in his arms. “Everything okay, babe?” I tried my best not to cry yet again like a punk. I pulled away and turned my back on him. “When you leaving?”

  “Remember I told you my plane leaves on Friday.”

  Shit, today was Wednesday. “Guess I forgot,” I mumbled.

  Truth was, I was hoping he’d say something like, the semester was pushed back, which sure as hell wasn’t possible. Or that his flight was cancelled, and every other flight going to fucking Georgia. Or, fuck it, he just smack-dab wasn’t going to go. But I’m glad he didn’t say any of this ’cause I knew my ass was being hella selfish to continue to not want him to go, when this was about his future and he wanted to go. If the shoe was on the other foot, would my ass just up and forget about cosmetology school for him? Hell yes! Sadly, I can say I was a sucker for love.

  “You know this is going to be hard as hell for me, Cashmere.”

  “What?”

  “Leaving you.”

  “Look, you been dreaming about going off to college and pledging since forever, right? So don’t trip. I’ll be all right. Plus, you gotta make your dad and mom—”

  “Fuck her!”

  Damn, he rarely cursed. “Proud. And don’t say that ’cause, no matter what goes down between us, she will always be your mother.”

  He shook his head. “After the way she treated you?”

  Yeah, the bitch was pretty cold, but I chalked it up to her loving her son and wanting the best for him. And maybe it wasn’t for the best that we be together.

  “I wish I could take you with me.”

  “I wish I could go.”

  “Listen.”

  I faced him.

  “I know this is a lot to ask you, being that we’re going to be thousands of miles away from each other, and you being out here and being as pretty and smart as you are. Promise me you won’t—”