Golden

by Cameron Dokey

  “Don’t be afraid,” she said. “Nothing here will harm you.”

  Melisande took a step forward, toward the open pane of glass. Almost before I realized what I was doing, I stopped her, clutching tightly at her arm. Suddenly I was dizzy standing at the top of that tower, made of the bones of the earth and topped by the light of only-a-wizard-knew-how-many stars. The air blew cold against my skin, and it seemed to me that it was a very, very long way down to the ground. A very long way from anything I knew or understood.

  “What happens if I cannot help?” I panted. “If I try and fail? What happens to your daughter then?”

  For the staff of Magnolia’s Bookstore.

  This one never would have happened without you.

  And for lissa. Even when the world seems dark,

  I see the way your heart shines, golden.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Prologue

  It began with a theft and ended with a gift. And, if I were truly as impossible as it once pleased Rue to claim, I’d demonstrate it now. Stop right there, I’d tell you. That’s really all you need to know about the story of my life. Thank you very much for coming, but you might as well go home now.

  Except there is this problem:

  A beginning and an ending, though satisfying in their own individual ways, are simply that. A start and a conclusion, nothing more. It’s what comes in between that does the work, that builds the life and tells the story. Believing you can see the second while still busy with the first can be a dangerous mistake, a fact of life sometimes difficult for the young to grasp. When you are young, you think your eyesight is perfect, even as it fails you and you fail to notice. It’s easy to get distracted, caught up in dilemmas and questions that eventually turn out to be less important than you originally thought.

  For instance, here is a puzzle that many minds have pondered: If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound?

  When, really, much more challenging puzzles sound a good deal simpler:

  How do you recognize the face of love?

  Can love happen in an instant, or can it only grow slowly, bolstered by the course of time? Is it possible that love might be both? A thing that takes forever to reach its true conclusion, made possible by what occurs in no more than the blink of an eye?

  Yes, I think I know the answers, for myself, at least. But then, I am no longer young. I am old now. My life has been a long and happy one, but even the longest, happiest life will, one day, draw down to its close. Fold itself up and be put away, like a favorite sweater into a cedar chest, a garment that has served well for many, many years, but now has just plain too many holes to be worn.

  Don’t bother to suggest that I will be immortal because my tale will continue to be told. That sort of sentiment just makes me impatient and annoyed. In the first place, because the tale you know is hardly the whole story. And in the second, because it is the tale itself that will live on, not 1.1 will come to an end, as all living creatures must. And when I do, what I know will perish with me.

  Perhaps that is why I have the urge to speak of it now.

  More and more these days, I find myself thinking back to the beginning, particularly when I am sitting in the garden. This is not surprising, I suppose. For it was in a garden that my tale began. It makes no difference that I hadn’t been born yet at the time. I listen to the sound the first bees make in spring, so loud it always takes me by surprise. I sit on the bench my husband made me as a wedding gift, surrounded by the daffodils I planted with my own hands, so very long ago now. Their scent hangs around me like a curtain of silk.

  I close my eyes, and I am young once more.

  One

  Here are the things I think you think you know about my story, for these are the ones that have often been told.

  The girl I would become was the only child of a poor man and his wife who had waited many years for any child at all to be born. During her pregnancy, my mother developed a craving for a particular herb, a kind of parsley. In the country in which my parents were then living, this herb was called “rapunzel.”

  As luck would have it, the house next door to my parents’ home possessed a beautiful and wondrous garden. In it grew the most delicious-looking rapunzel my mother had ever seen. So wonderful, in fact, she decided that she could not live without it. Day after day, hour after hour, she begged my father to procure her some. She must have that rapunzel and no other, my mother swore, or she would simply die.

  There was a catch, of course. A rather large one. The garden was the property of a powerful sorceress.

  This discouraged my father from simply walking up the house next door s front steps, ringing the bell, and asking politely if the gardens owner would share some of her delicious herb, which is precisely what he should have done. The front doorbell even possessed a unique talent, or so the sorceress herself later informed me. When it rang, the person who caused it to sound heard whatever tune he or she liked best.

  Not that it made any difference, for no one ever rang the bell. To approach a sorceress by the front way was apparently deemed too risky. So my father did what everyone before him had done: He went in through the back. He climbed over the wall that divided the sorceress’s garden from his own and stole the rapunzel.

  He even got away with it—the first time around. But, though he had picked all the herb that he could carry, it was not enough for my mother. She devoured it in great greedy handfuls, then begged for more. My father took a satchel, to carry even more rapunzel, and returned to the sorceress’s garden. But this time, though the herb was still plentiful, my father’s luck ran out. The sorceress caught him with his hands full of rapunzel and his legs halfway up the garden wall.

  “Foolish man!” she scolded. “Come down here at once! Don’t you know it’s just plain stupid to climb over a sorceress’s back wall and steal from her garden, particularly when she has a perfectly good front doorbell?”

  At this, my father fell from the wall and to his knees.

  “Forgive me,” he cried. “I am not normally an ungracious thief. In fact, I’m not normally either one.”

  The sorceress pursed her lips. “I suppose this means you think you have a good reason for your actions,” she snorted.

  “I do,” my father replied. “Will it please you to hear it?”

  “I sincerely doubt it,” the sorceress said. “But get up and tell it to me anyhow.”

  My father now explained about my mother’s craving. How she had claimed she must have rapunzel, this rapunzel and no other, or she would simply die. And how, out of love for her and fear for the life of the child she carried, he had done what he must to obtain the herb, even though he knew that stealing it was wrong.

  After he had finished, the sorceress stood silent, looking at him for what must have seemed like a very long time.

  “There is no such thing as an act without consequence,” she said softly, at last. “No act stands alone. It is always connected to at least one other, even if it cannot be seen yet, even if it is still approaching, over the horizon line. If you had asked me for the rapunzel, I would have given it freely, but as it is—”

  “I understand,” my father said, before he quit
e realized that he was interrupting. “You are speaking of payment. I am a poor man, but I will do my best to discharge this debt.”

  The sorceress was silent for an even longer time.

  “I will see this wife of yours,” she finally pronounced. “Then I will know what must be done.”

  Here are the things I know you do not know about my story, for, until now, they have never been told:

  The woman who gave birth to me was very beautiful. Her skin was as white and smooth as cream. Her eyes, the color of bluebells in the spring. Her lips, like damask roses.

  This is nothing so special in and of itself, of course.

  Many women are beautiful, including those who don’t resemble my mother in the slightest. But her beauty was my mother’s greatest treasure, more important to her than anything else. And the feature she prized above all others was her hair, as luxuriant and flowing as a river in spring. As golden as a polished florin.

  When my father brought the sorceress into the house, my mother was sitting up in bed, giving her hair its morning-time one hundred strokes with her ivory-handled brush. Even in their most extreme poverty, she had refused to part with this item.

  “My dear,” my father began.

  “Quiet!” my mother said at once. “I haven’t finished yet, and you know how I dislike being interrupted.”

  My father and the sorceress stood in the doorway while my mother finished counting off her strokes.

  “Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight . . .” The white-backed brush flashed through the golden hair. “Ninety-nine, one hundred. There now!”

  She set down the brush and regarded her husband and the stranger with a frown. “Who is this person that you have brought me instead of the rapunzel that you promised?”

  “This is the sorceress who lives next door,” my father replied. “It’s her rapunzel.”

  “Oh,” said my mother.

  “Oh, indeed,” the sorceress at last spoke up. She walked into the room, stopping only when she reached my mother’s bedside, and gazed upon her much as she had earlier gazed upon my father.

  “Madam,” she said after many moments. “I will make you the following bargain. Until your child is born, you may have as much rapunzel as you like from my garden. But on the day your child arrives, if it is a girl, and I very much think it will be, you must swear to love her just as she is, for that will mean you will love whatever she becomes. If you cannot, then I will claim her in payment for the rapunzel.

  “Do we have a deal?”

  “Yes,” my mother immediately said, in spite of the fact that my father said “No!” at precisely the same moment.

  The sorceress then turned away from my mother and walked to my father, laying a hand upon his arm.

  “Good man,” she said, “I know the cost seems high. But have no fear. I mean your child no harm. Instead, if she comes to me, I swear to you that I will love her and raise her as my own. It may even be that you will see her again some day. My eyes are good, but even they cannot see that far, for that is a thing that will depend on your heart rather than mine.”

  My father swallowed once or twice, as if his throat had suddenly gone dry.

  “If,” he finally said.

  “Just so,” the sorceress replied.

  And she left my parents’ house and did not return until the day that I was born.

  On that day my mother labored mightily to bring me into the world. After many hours, I arrived. The midwife took me and gave me my very first bath. Exhausted from her labors, my mother closed her eyes. She opened them again when I was put into her arms. At my mother’s first sight of me, a thick silence filled the room. The sound of my father’s boots dashing wildly up the stairs could be heard through the open bedroom door. But before he could reach his baby daughter, his wife cried out, “She is hideous! Take her away! I can never love this child!”

  My father gave a great cry of anguish.

  “A bargain is a bargain,” the sorceress said, for she had come up the stairs right behind my father. “Come now, little one. Let us see what all the ruckus is about.”

  And she strode to the bedside, plucked me from my mother’s arms, and lifted me up into the light. Now the whole world, if it had cared to look, could have seen what had so horrified my unfortunate maternal parent.

  I had no hair at all. Absolutely none.

  There was not even the faintest suggestion of hair, the soft down of fuzz that many infants possess at birth, visible only when someone does just what the sorceress was doing, holding me up to the light of the sun. I did have cheeks like shiny red apples, and eyes as dark and bright as two jet buttons. None of this made one bit of difference to my mother. She could see only that I lacked her greatest treasure: I had no hair of gold. No hair of any kind. My head was as smooth as a hard-boiled egg. It was impossible for my mother to imagine that I might grow up to be beautiful, yet not like her. She had no room for this possibility in her heart.

  This lack of space was her undoing, as a mother anyway, for it separated us on the very day that I was born. And it did more. It fixed her lack so firmly upon my head that I could never shake it off. For the rest of my days, mine would be a head upon which no hair would grow.

  But the sorceress simply pulled a dark brown kerchief from her own head and wrapped it around mine. At that point, I imagine I must have looked remarkably like a tiny walnut, for my swaddling was of brown homespun. Then, for a moment or two only, the sorceress turned to my father and placed me in his arms.

  “Remember your words to me,” my father said, when he could speak for the tears that closed his throat. “Remember them all.”

  “Good man, I will,” the sorceress replied. “For they are written in my heart, as they are in yours.” Then she took me back and, gazing down into my face, said: “Well, little Rapunzel, let us go out into the world and discover whether or not you are the one I have been waiting for.”

  That is the true beginning of this, my life’s true story.

  Two

  And so I grew up in the home of the sorceress.

  Though not, it hardly need be said, in the house next door to the one in which I had been born. When I was still an infant, too young to remember such a thing, the sorceress and I moved to a place where gently rolling hills gradually grew steeper and more rocky until they became a great mountain range that divided the land from side to side.

  There, in a fold of two such hills, the sorceress and I had a small, one-room house for ourselves, and a large, one-room barn for the livestock. Our house had a roof of thatch, and the barn a roof of sloping boards. We had an orchard of fruit trees climbing up one hill, with a rushing stream at its base. And, of course, we had a beautiful and prosperous herb and vegetable garden. Above all else, the sorceress dearly loved to help things grow. I suppose it could be said that I was one of them.

  I learned much in the sorceress’s home. She taught me to spin and sew. To sweep the floor of our small dwelling without raising up a single cloud of dust. To gather eggs, to separate them and make the yolks into a custard, and then to beat the whites so long and hard that I could bake a cake as white as snow, and as tall as our oven door.

  Together, we helped the cows give birth, carded wool from our own sheep to create cloth. It was from the sorceress that I learned to climb the apple trees in our orchard. I even bested her when it came to baking apple pies. I learned to help rehatch the roof, a task I dearly loved, and to whitewash our walls, which I did not. Best of all, I learned to read and write, great gifts, not often bestowed upon girls at that time.

  I also learned never to ask a question unless I truly wished to hear the answer, for the sorceress always replied honestly. I learned not to call her “mother.” She would not allow it. Instead, as the sorceress called me by my name, so I called her by hers. It was my first word, in fact, and it was this: Melisande.

  But of all I learned in the sorceress’s home, sorcery was not a part. This is not as odd as you might suppose. Think of
your own life for a moment. Are there truly no questions you consider asking, then reconsider, deciding you’d rather not hear the answers after all? Or perhaps the questions never even occur to you in the first place. We all grow accustomed to our lives just the way they are. For me it was a combination, I think. I’d reached the fairly advanced age of eight or nine, in fact, before I even discovered that Melisande was a sorceress at all.

  It happened in this way: On a market day in late September, the sorceress hitched up our wagon and announced that we were going to the closest town. She did not like to do so, she said. Towns were filled with people, more unpredictable than spring weather. But the last of our needles had snapped in two the night before and, without replacements, we could make no winter clothes.

  “Tie your kerchief tightly around your head, Rapunzel,” she said. “I will do the same.”

  No woman or girl went with her head uncovered in those days. It simply wasn’t proper. To make sure that I had tied my own kerchief to her satisfaction, Melisande reached down and gave the knot a tug. I opened my mouth to ask why our kerchiefs needed particular attention on this particular day, then closed it again, having said nothing at all. As an interesting side benefit of learning which questions to ask and which to keep to myself, I had developed the ability to answer many on my own.

  It has to do with the fact that my head is different, I thought. I would learn much more about what this meant before the day was done. In the meantime, however, I was excited, for, though Melisande had sometimes spoken of such places, I had never seen a town before.

  The day was fine. By the time we reached the market square, I had a crick in my neck from trying to turn it in every direction all at the same time. I had never seen so many people assembled in one place, nor imagined how many buildings it might take to house them all. Our horse’s shoes made an unfamiliar sound on the cobblestone streets.

  In the center of the town stood a great open square, completely filled with stalls selling goods of every imaginable kind. Through them, I could just catch a glimpse of green grass in the very center, and the tall brick sides of a well. Water was at the heart of every town, Melisande had explained as we’d ridden along. Without water, there could be no life.