Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries 04 - Beauty Queens and Cruises

by A. R. Winters

  “Did Rolf say he’d lost a tux?”

  “No, but I think he’s preoccupied with his marriage at the moment. And anyway, those people have so many clothes I don’t know if he’d even notice.”

  “If you say so. I still haven’t seen this mysterious guy. Are you sure it wasn’t Rolf?”

  “Definitely not. He was still sitting at the head table, for starters. And he’s about twenty years older. Anyway, I really don’t think this is his stuff. He’s far too prissy to go sneaking around blue-collar areas like this. He’d be caught in a hot minute.”

  “That’s a point. He would,” said Cece knowledgeably.

  “Was there anything else down there?”

  “Down where?” said Cece with a frown.

  “Down there,” I said, pointing down the side of the shelves. From the look on Cece’s face, I could tell she hadn’t looked beyond the one bag she’d discovered. “Let’s check.”

  Dropping to my knees, I peered down the side of the shelves. But the light didn’t penetrate well back there, and I couldn’t see anything.

  “Got a light?”

  “You want to smoke now?” asked Cece in shock.

  “Not that kind of light! Use your phone! A flashlight!”

  “Oh, you should have said.” Cece laughed to herself and I heard her fumbling with her phone. “How’s that?”

  The narrow gap between the shelves and the wall was filled with the harsh LED light produced by Cece’s phone.

  “I think I can see something. Hold on.” I pushed my arm into the gap as far as it could go. I thought I’d seen something like a canvas bag. I pushed my hand down, and it fell on something fabric. “I’ve got something!”

  I closed my fingers and pulled out what I’d grabbed onto. When my hand emerged, it was clutching a small canvas satchel.

  “Whoa! Sweet. What’s in it?” asked Cece excitedly.

  “How do I know?” I answered testily.

  “Open it then!”

  Cornstalks, she could be so impatient sometimes. I undid the two buckles that held the satchel closed, opened the flap, and held the bag open so that we could both peer inside.

  “Is that… metal? What is it?”

  I had a horrible feeling I knew what it was. I put my hand inside and felt the familiar feeling of clasping the handle of a pistol. Slowly, I withdrew my hand.

  “Is that a gun?” asked Cece, rather pointlessly I thought. Of course it was a gun.

  “It’s just a .22, but it’ll do the job,” I said, shaking my head. Firearms were definitely not allowed aboard the ship. We’d have to report it.

  “‘A .22’” she said, mimicking me. “How do you know that? You got a past in the mean streets of Nebraska I don’t know about?”

  I laughed.

  “Nope. A country girl past, which you already know all about.”

  I dropped the gun back into the satchel and stood up again, leaving the satchel on the floor.

  “You sure do surprise me sometimes, Adrienne James.” Cece shook her head in bemusement. It actually made me feel a little bit proud. Despite being several years older than Cece, I usually felt like she was the more worldly one. But for once, I had her beat.

  “Glad to hear it,” I said with more than a hint of self-satisfaction. “I’m going to call Ethan.”

  “Good idea. I’ll help you guard the satchel.”

  “You mean you’re going to take an extended break,” I said with a laugh.

  “Anything in the name of safety.”

  “What’s going on?” asked Ethan when he arrived. It had only taken him a few minutes to get there. It seemed the mention of a firearm was enough to warrant urgent attention.

  “We found a bunch of uniforms hidden away, and a gun,” said Cece, kicking the laundry bag and then the satchel in turn.

  “Don’t do that!” I said, quickly picking up the satchel. The last thing we needed was an accidental discharge.

  “Can I see?”

  I handed the satchel over to Ethan. He withdrew the .22 with two fingers, held it up to the light and twisted it around, and then dropped it back into the small bag.

  “And of course you have no idea how that got in here?”

  We both shook our heads.

  “None.”

  “And the uniforms?”

  “It’s not just uniforms. There’s a tuxedo belonging to Rolf Monteith as well,” I said, holding this up first.

  “What would Rolf Monteith want with a gun on this ship?” Ethan was slowly shaking his head, as if trying to understand what was going on and failing.

  “Actually,” said Cece, “Adrienne thinks the tux was stolen. She thinks this stuff all belongs to her mystery man.”

  “Her mystery man?” Ethan said to Cece with a single arched eyebrow.

  “Not my mystery man,” I said while glaring at Cece. “There’s a guy I’ve seen onboard, dressed in the housekeeping uniform, but I don’t think he actually works for Swan.”

  “What do you mean? Another stowaway or something?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. Whatever he is, Cece is sure he doesn’t work in housekeeping. I think he’s up to something, but I don’t know what.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about him before?” Ethan sounded frustrated, or even a little annoyed.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just, with the murder and everything, it seemed like one more unnecessary thing I didn’t want to bother you with.”

  “When was the last time you saw him?”

  “Umm. Do you remember when we had dinner at the Captain’s Club? And I got mousse on my head?”

  “And everywhere else…”

  Cece and Ethan both did their best not to laugh. Ethan managed this admirably, but Cece didn’t, letting out a screeching cackle. She hadn’t even been there.

  “It was then. When I went into the kitchen to talk with Greg… that isn’t actually what I was doing. I saw that guy and I was following him. But I lost him.”

  “You should have told me.”

  He was entirely right. I should have told him.

  “F or all we know, this man could have killed Diana,” said Ethan with a frown.

  “Maybe,” I conceded, “but I bet it was someone from the pageant scene. She was killed with her own sash. I’m sure that was supposed to be symbolic.”

  “Or it was just convenient,” said Ethan.

  “I guess.”

  “Adrienne, please, please tell me if you see the man again, or if anything else happens, or even if you just think something else is happening. Keep me informed. Tell me everything. I worry about you, you know?”

  I nodded, telling myself I would. I’d tell him everything that happened from now on.

  And someday soon, I’d tell him about the kidnapping incident. Once I was ready.

  “What about me?” asked Cece.

  Ethan cocked his head at her. “You too. Keep me informed. But not, you know, about everything.”

  “Hey! What are you saying about me?”

  Ethan just shook his head, and the two of us laughed. Cece put on a look of mock outrage.

  “I’m going to put this in the safe and see if I can figure anything out with all these uniforms. Keep this to yourselves for now, please. We don’t want the passengers panicking about guns on board.”

  “Will do.”

  “Silence is my middle name.” Cece held up her index finger to her lips.

  “Good. All right. Back to work everyone. Including me.”

  As we went our separate ways, I tried to understand what it all meant. I was sure the gun belonged to the mysterious fake housekeeper, but I couldn’t see any connection between him and what happened to Diana.

  New mysteries around every corner, and here I was, still no closer to finding out what had happened to Diana.

  Chapter 24

  A fter a hurried, early lunch, I found myself in the Swan Theater.

  It was to be the location for the evening’s talent show, in which all of the beauty pa
geant girls would show off their unique skills in order to impress the judges.

  The official reason I was there was to catch some of them during the rehearsals and capture some pictures and some quotes to go with them. Unofficially, I was hoping to progress a little further in my investigation.

  The theater had seating for around three hundred people, and the stage at the front was a large wooden platform, with red velvet curtains at the front and a large lighting rig above.

  The girls were taking it in turns to practice on the stage, but they were also making use of the aisles and the space between the front row of seats and the stage to practice their moves even when they didn’t have stage time.

  The contestants were all wearing formal evening gowns, and their makeup was even more elaborate than anything I’d seen so far. From what I understood, the bright stage lights could make them look washed out if the makeup wasn’t heavy enough.

  I also was hoping to find out who leaked the photos of Autumn stumbling through the ship. And I’d definitely be keeping an eye out for the possibly armed fake housekeeper.

  Now that I was feeling less confident that Rolf was the killer, I planned to keep my eyes on Kimberly the Shoe Wrecker—and every other one of the pageant girls. I was sure it was going to be someone connected to the competition.

  When I first entered, I watched one of the girls performing her routine on the stage. The young lady was accompanied on the stage by a massive hand puppet. With her hand inside, the puppet’s head was equal to her own in size and hovered at the same level, though its lower half was much reduced.

  As I approached the stage I recognized her as a contestant named Miranda May. She had been one of the less noticeable—by which of course I mean less troublesome—members of the pageant crew, and this was the first time I’d paid attention to her in action.

  The puppet resembled a fairytale prince, and the contestant and the puppet seemed to be hopelessly in love with each other. Her routine consisted of singing both halves of a duet, alternately in her own high pitch tone, and then switching to a deeper, more manly one for the puppet’s half of the performance.

  Slowly, Miranda and her puppet moved around the stage, making eyes at each other and sharing looks of unrequited love with the audience. Not that there was much of an audience at the time; all the other girls were busy practicing their own parts. The audience consisted of me and another solitary figure in the back row of seats who I was pretty sure was Rolf, though it was hard to tell from a distance.

  As Miranda May whirled and twirled with her perfect-puppet-prince, I cheered her on. I couldn’t be sure whether the routine was ridiculous or awesome; it skirted the fine line between the two. But for the girl’s sake, I would pretend it was the latter. It was better than anything I would manage if I was thrust onto a talent show stage at least.

  When the romantic, dying notes of the final line of the song were over, I clapped enthusiastically.

  “Bravo!” I shouted.

  Miranda slowly curtsied with a shy but proud smile, and then made her puppet bow.

  “He’s so hot!” I shouted, pointing at the puppet with a teasing grin.

  The girl cocked her head at me.

  “But… it’s a puppet?” she said in confusion. She turned to look at it, holding it at arm’s length, as if seeing it for the first time.

  Great. The girl pretending to be in love with a puppet was making me feel like an idiot.

  I quickly took some pictures of Prince Charming and the not so charming Miranda and fled the front of the stage. I’d find someone more appreciative of my wit and encouragement.

  Most of the girls’ routines seemed to involve some kind of dance or music. I passed a girl with a flute, and another with a giant harp. One girl was practicing a hip-hop dance routine, while music with some rather questionable lyrics blasted from a portable stereo. Her red ballgown and the powerful music provided a glaring contrast which I wasn’t sure the judges would appreciate.

  The only girl not in formal evening gown was instead in a cheerleader’s outfit, and she looked kind of lonely practicing her routine without a cheerleading squad around her. Should have done something else, I thought to myself as I passed her. Then I wanted to kick myself. What did I know about beauty pageant talent shows?

  I walked to the back of the room to the lone figure in the back row. I was right; it was Rolf.

  “Hello again,” I said with a friendly smile.

  He lifted his chin from where it had been resting on his chest and raised his eyebrows at me in greeting. From his demeanor, I was pretty sure he hadn’t had just the two mimosas that morning.

  “Could I ask you something?”

  He shrugged. “Already are.”

  “What?”

  “You already are asking me something. Go on. Ask another.”

  “Oh, right. Yes. I was wondering, did you by any chance lose a tuxedo?”

  He laughed.

  “You’d think it would be hard to lose a tuxedo, right? Not exactly the kind of thing that slips out of your pocket or disappears down the side of a sofa, is it?”

  “Right. So, did you?”

  “Your man, the first officer, he already asked me about that. But yes, I did lose it. It was bothering me no end. But Ethan tells me he’s found it. It was actually stolen. Can you believe that?”

  “Almost unbelievable.” I shook my head sympathetically. “Do you know when it went missing?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t care. Just as long as I get it back.” He covered his mouth and yawned for a long time, glancing at me as he did so. It was like he was trying to hint at something. But I can be perfectly oblivious to hints when I need to be. I wasn’t going anywhere just yet.

  As it turned out, I didn’t need to ignore the hint to leave, because just then we were joined by two more people. Martin and Clarissa arrived, as they usually did, together.

  “Rolf?” said Martin, as he approached from the other side to me.

  Autumn’s husband turned his head the other way and his shoulders seemed to slump even more in defeat. He wasn’t going to get left alone just yet. “Yes?”

  “I need to talk to Autumn. Is she here?” asked Martin.

  “You want to talk to her? Well, good luck with that. She’s barricaded herself in our room and she’s not coming out.”

  “What, never?” I asked.

  The three of them all looked at me curiously.

  Rolf said, “She says she’s not coming out until we’re back in port.”

  “She’s that mad, huh?” asked Martin. “Sorry about that, Rolf. Tell her it will all blow over. It’s just gossip.”

  “I can’t tell her anything. She won’t listen to me. You tell her.”

  “I can’t tell her if she’s barricaded in her room and not coming out, can I?” said Martin with frustration.

  “Looks like you’re both out of luck,” Clarissa drawled.

  “Adrienne? Could I have a word?”

  I hadn’t noticed the newcomer approaching, and so when I did see who it was, I couldn’t conceal my surprise.

  “Ca… Captain. Of course.” I turned to the other three. “Excuse me a moment.”

  I followed the captain away from the other three, who didn’t seem to be at all upset to be losing me temporarily. He led us toward one of the rear exits of the theater. When the captain thought we had gone far enough for some privacy, he stopped so that we could talk.

  “I hear you made some kind of discovery? In the laundry room?”

  This was quite a surprising question coming from the captain. Not that it wasn’t any of his business; it was just that he didn’t normally seem at all interested in the investigations Ethan and I had run on board the ship.

  “Yes, sir, we found some uniforms, a stolen tuxedo, and a gun.”

  The captain slowly nodded his head. “But you don’t know who it belongs to?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. No idea. The tuxedo had Rolf Monteith’s name on it, but i
t was stolen from him.”

  “And you don’t have any leads?”

  “Not yet. But Ethan took the evidence with him. I didn’t look at it all that thoroughly. I suggest you speak to him.”

  “Right, right, yes, I’ll do that. But you don’t know who it belonged to?”

  I debated telling him about the mystery man, but didn’t really want to get into all of that now.

  “I don’t know, sir. I really think you should talk to Ethan about it all. It was just me and Cece that found it. We don’t know who it belonged to or what it means.”

  “I see. Right.” He opened his mouth again and it looked like he was about to ask me another question, but he then abruptly he closed it. After a moment’s awkward silence, he said, “I’ll let you get back to it. Have a good day.”

  Curiously, I watched the captain depart. What was that all about? Shrugging it off, I went back to join Clarissa, Martin, and Rolf.

  “And they’ll be on fire?” Clarissa was asking when I returned.

  “Oh yes, it’s really quite impressive, as long as they turn the lights down low enough,” said Martin knowledgeably.

  Rolf saw my confusion and half-heartedly raised a hand and gestured in the direction of the stage.

  Kimberly Dawson was strutting about the stage in ludicrously high heels and a sparkling silver dress while she tossed a blurry stream of batons into the air, snatching them back again with dizzying speed as she twirled and strutted around the stage.

  “Isn’t that dangerous?” I asked with a frown. It looked to me that if those batons were on fire, then shortly after so would Kimberly. And the theater.

  “Not if she keeps catching them,” said Rolf with a weary shrug.

  I briefly imagined myself on the stage with a half a dozen burning batons and was instantly shuddering at the thought of it. Now that would definitely end in disaster. Putting the thought out of my mind, I went back to the business at hand. Well, one of the businesses at hand. It was hard to keep track.

  “Martin? Clarissa?”

  They both gave me expectant looks.

  “When you were assisting Autumn back to her room last night, did anyone see you?”

  Martin slowly shook his head. “We went back via the outside deck, which was mostly empty because it was dark. I thought the fresh air might do her some good. I don’t think I saw anyone.”