Dream Valley

by Paddy Cummins

  As he came closer, the drivers identity hit Garry. It was the doctor that came for Jenny that day in Punchestown, her husband. He was stunned but didn't show it. Jenny too, was really worried and uptight, still managed to smile. This was disastrous, she thought. What would Garry think after all they had said on the phone. If she had only known yesterday she could have phoned and told him. But no, Ken did that deliberately, planned it that way, took her unawares. He was up to something - something ominous.

  Keeping her composure and greeting Garry as if everything was normal, she knew he was trying to do the same, but she could sense he was under pressure too. He couldn't look her in the eye, seemed nervous and tense.

  'This is Ken. Garry. He wants to be a jockey.'

  She tried to keep it light and jovial.

  'Pleased to meet you, Ken.' They shook hands. 'A flat or a jump jockey? Garry was jokingly sizing up Ken's height and weight.

  'I think it will have to be a disc jockey, Garry, I might just manage that.' They laughed.

  'Lovely old place you've got here.'

  'Yeah. It's coming around. All I need now is plenty of money to finish it.'

  'Be lovely then ... great to see someone keeping the old homesteads intact.'

  'Yeah,' said Garry, 'sure most of them are gone, it's a pity.'

  'This place has real character and charm,' said Ken, pointing to the thatched house.

  'Yeah, it's quaint ... I like it.'

  They followed Garry around the stables. Jenny was giving Ken little bits of information about the horses, how they were trained for their races. She was trying to get him interested. He seemed to be receptive, but she suspected he was only trying to be polite - there was no real enthusiasm.

  'This is 'Harmonica.'

  Ken leaned over the stable door. Emily was inside brushing her over, preparing her for her morning's work.

  'God! She's really big, isn't she?' He was thinking of Jenny handling and controlling this big animal. How does she do it? A shiver of fear ran through him at the mere thought of it.

  Two horses, 'Spinning Top' and 'Harmonica,' were loaded into the trailer to be taken to the hill gallop for some fast work. Garry and Emily travelled with the horses, Jenny and Ken went in the car.

  At the top of the gallop the two saddled horses were unloaded and walked around for a few minutes. Garry explained to Ken about the gallop and the work.

  'As you can see Ken, it's a mile long and quite steep ... a great measure of a horse's fitness. If they could do a swinging canter up there three times without distress or prolonged blowing, they'd be fit for racing. It was tough work on horses and riders, but it was fun and the perfect test to measure their well-being and level of fitness.'

  Ken listened with interest. Looking around, he was admiring the panorama of picturesque landscape on all sides.

  'This is really something,' he said.

  Jenny agreed and was glad to see he was enjoying himself.

  Garry hopped up on 'Spinning Top.' Emily 'legged-up' Jenny on 'Harmonica.' Ken watched as they walked off downhill into the hazy valley, as the mist was clearing Mount Brandon and the morning sun was climbing in the pale blue sky.

  They didn't speak until they were safely out of Ken's earshot. Jenny broke the silence.

  'I'm really sorry, Garry.'

  He shrugged his shoulders.

  'Sorry for what, Jenny?'

  'If I had known I'd have phoned you. He just sprang it on me ... just appeared in the kitchen this morning ...announced he was coming.'

  'So?'

  'It's so weird, Garry. Anytime I asked him to come before, he point blank refused. He's up to something, Garry, I know he is.'

  'Hang on Jenny.' Shifting sideways in the saddle, facing towards her, he looked pained and agitated.

  'Look Jenny. He's your husband isn't he? Maybe he just wants to see what's goin' on down here ... he's entitled to that, isn't he?'

  That outburst startled her. Shifting sideways too, looking into his eyes, she figured he was expressing his own frustration and disappointment at the turn of events and his valiant attempts at bluffing had failed.

  'You don't really mean that, Garry.'

  He paused thoughtfully, shook his head ruefully.

  'No. I suppose I don't.'

  Deep down he was worried too, and bitterly disappointed. He had longed for this day all week - to be beside her again as he was now. He had looked forward to even more beautiful closeness to-day and especially to-night. He now wanted her more than ever, his craving for her was aching his heart. It was a dream he was living for all of the past week. But this was back to reality, wake-up time.

  'We'll play it by ear, Garry. Just act normal ... show him that it's a business arrangement. He will see that, and understand. If he doesn't, it's his problem.'

  'Jenny, you're just brilliant ... a rock.'

  With his eyes flooding emotion he reached across for her hand which she grasped tightly. 'And I was so looking forward to to-day.'

  'I know. So was I, Garry. Don't worry. We'll sort it out. I'll ring you on Monday.'

  He smiled. 'Right. I'll be here ... waiting by the phone.'

  Ken and Jenny joined Garry and Emily for coffee in the kitchen of the little thatched house. Ken was fascinated with all the old furniture and utensils still intact and functional. The whole set-up seemed to impress him, enhancing his rating of Garry. He saw substance in the young man - lots of intelligence, vision and values. He was also impressed by his skill and confidence with the horses, and admired his amiable, warm personality. He felt surprised to be so impressed in view of his pre-existing prejudices, though they were based on nothing more than his fear and apprehension for Jenny's welfare.

  Garry's coffee was enjoyed by Ken. He complimented him.

  'Yeah,' said Garry, 'good strong coffee is what I like. It calms the nerves.'

  'Don't overdo it ... not good for you.' Ken was wearing his doctor's hat.

  'Ah, it's hard to know what's good for you now,' Jenny interjected.

  Emily excused herself. She was heading off for her afternoon break. There was a short silence - Garry ended it.

  'About the race on Thursday.' He was anxious to go through the arrangements with Jenny, prepare her mentally, make her aware of the task ahead. 'This is a big step-up from a Point-to-Point ... everything will have to be spot-on.' It's a Premier Hunter's Chase with £10,000 prize-money ... we'll be in with the top horses.'

  'Harmonica' will be up to it,' said Jenny confidently, 'she's improving every day.'

  'Oh I know she is. A bit of luck in running is all we need.'

  'Gowran Park is a lovely track,' said Jenny, 'tough but fair, and the running rails will be a big help.'

  'Yes,' replied Garry, but you will need to be very careful. You'll be in with the big boys ... they'll give no concessions. You'll have to show them you're every bit as good as they are ... I have no doubt you will.'

  Ken was listening and suffering. He couldn't stand it any longer. He stood up, looking agitated, as if preparing to leave. He took a deep breath. Jenny held hers.

  'Do you mind if I say something? I mean ... to both of you.'

  'What is it, Ken?' Jenny looked him in the eye.

  'I'm not happy about all this,' he said calmly, but solemnly.

  'All what?' She was prepared to take him on.

  'It's just all wrong ... it can't continue ... it's gone far enough now ... it's too dangerous ... I just can't take it anymore.'

  'What do you mean Ken? What are you talking about? She had a look of bewilderment, Garry hung his head, shocked and deflated, feeling it was all his fault, his big mouth.

  'I mean it has got to stop.' Addressing Jenny, he continued. 'You're driving down here every week, risking your life, riding in dangerous races over big jumps. How long do you think you can survive, Jenny?'

  Turning to Garry, he went on. 'You'll have to take some responsibility if anything happens to my wife ... you're in this too.' He was grim-face
d and deadly serious now.

  Garry was hurt. He knew that Ken was speaking in ignorance of horse-riding and racing. He tried to explain - come to Jenny's defence.

  'Look Ken. I know you're worried ... that's fair enough, understandable. But it's a sport, and like all sports, there are risks. Very few get killed or seriously injured in horse-riding. Jenny is a great rider ... she can look after herself.

  'Yes,' interjected Jenny angrily, 'and you have no right to bring Garry into this, Ken. It's me. I want to do it ... I don't see any danger in it ... and I intend to continue ... you'll just have to get used to it.'

  That really stung Ken. He bounced out the door, returned with a large cardboard folder from the boot of his car. Opening it, he placed it self-standing on the table. Jenny and Garry were rendered speechless. It was the colour picture from the newspaper of Jenny, upside down, hanging on to the horse's ears. It was a photocopy enlargement, stuck with tape on to the cardboard. The effect was really dramatic.

  'That's what I mean,' exclaimed Ken, pointing to the picture. 'That's what I'm talking about. Now, can either of you tell me that race-riding is not dangerous.'

  There was a long disturbing silence. Jenny stood up.

  'There's no point in continuing this ... I'm going home.'

  She headed out to the car. Turning her head, she saw Ken following her. Garry was standing in the doorway.

  'Bye Garry,' she raised her hand in a farewell wave.

  'Cheers,' he waved back.

  Soon the Honda was revving up the lane.

  The journey back was horrible for both of them. No word was spoken for twenty miles. Ken broke the ice.

  'I'm sorry Jenny.'

  He waited for a response but there was none.

  'I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings ... it wasn't my intention.'

  Still no response.

  'Christ! Can you not even talk to me?'

  She turned towards him.

  'It's too late to be sorry now, Ken, the harm is done. You tried to ruin everything on me ... you had this well planned. Well, it's not going to work. I'm telling you now, Ken ... you're wasting your time.'

  'Jenny. Can you not see my point? Damn it, I have feelings too. I can't let you kill yourself or maim yourself for life. I don't want to loose you ... I love you ... I want you, alive and well. Can you not see that?'

  She turned again.

  'After to-day, Ken, you may not have me anyway.'

  'What does that mean?'

  'Take it to mean whatever you like.'

  There was no further exchange, just turmoil racking both minds for the rest of the journey.

  They slept in separate bedrooms. He was up first and gone with the golf clubs before she came down. She was glad of that - didn't want another clash with him. She sat pensively at the table with her coffee an toast. Turning over in her mind the events of yesterday, she was determined to find a way through it all. Serious doubts were seeping in regarding her future with Ken. She tried to hold these thoughts in abeyance while she found a way to resolve her immediate problems. The last thing she wanted was a big burst-up with Ken, a massive upheaval in their lives. It would be too catastrophic and devastating for both of them. There must be a way out of this, some formula that would solve Ken's problem - he just has to be sorted out.

  She thought intensely, but her brain wasn't coming up with realistic answers. One thing she was sure of. There were only two ways of solving it. Fight him, with all the dangerous consequences of that, or try to appease him - but how?

  The motivating force that was driving her to find a solution was the silhouette of Garry lurking in her mind. It was him, the hunger and longing for him, that was demanding her brain to come up with answers, and fast. It was so urgent, it just couldn't wait.

  Decision time. Which option would she pursue, war or peace - she chose the second option. Compromise. It always worked in industrial disputes - each side giving a little. She was confident it would work. Ken was intelligent and fair-minded. He too, desperately wanted a solution to the impasse. He now knew what the alternative was. He would hardly be so foolish to risk loosing her by pushing the issue beyond the point of no return. No, he wouldn't - he wasn't that stupid - this will work - it had to work.

  She drew up a plan that would bring back normality between them, ease his anxiety, and she would have it ready for him when he returned in the evening. If he accepted it, she might even consider sleeping with him again to-night.

  As Ken entered the kitchen, the appetising aroma of slowly cooking steak gripped him by the stomach. It had been a long day at the golf course. Just a small ham sandwich and a coffee since morning left him weak with hunger.

  'Hi Ken, had a good day?'

  'Yeah, very good.'

  'You must be starving?'

  'I could eat a bit now alright ... that steak smells good.'

  'It does, doesn't it? Won't be long now, it's nearly ready.'

  He was relieved and pleasantly surprised by her upbeat form - something worth celebrating.

  'What about a little drop of wine?'

  'Sure, why not.? You look after that, Ken.'

  'I will.' The tiredness of the day was forgotten, he was now bouncing around.

  The meal was delicious, the wine washed it down beautifully. He felt great. She was happy too, confident that the first part her little scheme was working, vindicating her mother's often expressed view that 'the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Now for the second part.

  'About yesterday, Ken ... I was a bit hard on you ... I'm sorry about that.'

  'Forget it Jenny ... it was me that was totally out of order ... I realise that now. I don't know what got into me ... that damn picture ... I just couldn't cope with that ... I'm really sorry.'

  'Okay. So can we start again? I mean, forget yesterday ... make a new agreement.'

  He paused for thought. It was a relief to hear her talk like that. He worried all last night after her hint of leaving him, a disaster he had to avert whatever the price. Placing his elbows on the table, crossing his arms, he looked at her directly, ready and willing to compromise.

  'Okay then, spit it out, Jenny ... I'm all ears.' The wine was working. It crossed his mind that if a deal was agreed it might be signed and sealed later ... upstairs.

  'Well, this is the situation Ken. There's only two more races this season ... next Thursday in Gowran Park, and the Punchestown Festival. Then we'll have a whole year to work things out.'

  Ken was paying attention, pretending to be weighing it all up, but he had already decided to agree to whatever she had in mind. As long as she kept him fully informed of everything, he could cope. Not knowing the details was his big problem, always caused him suspicion and worry.

  'No more racing for a year?'

  'That's right.'

  'And then?'

  'A year is a long time, Ken. You'd never know ... things could change ... I could change ... who's to know ... we might even be a family by then.'

  That was certainly a new positive approach - music to his ears. A family? She obviously still has hope - that would solve everything. All their problems, frustrations and arguments would dissipate into thin air - it was a beautiful thought.

  With his hands placed over hers, their eyes met, gentle smiles clinched the deal, a warm kiss sealed it, a new ray of hope brightened up his mind. There was no alternative to Jenny's love - he couldn't live without her.

  Jenny's mind was glowing too, but her light was beaming on a far wider agenda. Deep down, she was now resigned to a child-less life. She had now filled that void by grasping new exciting opportunities that she knew would give her contentment and fulfilment. No way would she let anyone take that away from her now. Yes, she would acquiesce in Ken's hopes and dreams, he deserved that, but Garry had now become a new focal point, a new driving force in her life, a motivation, a prize to be won and savoured. He was central to her life now - deep in her heart she felt that - there was no going back. She wouldn't
want to hurt Ken in any way. This would be done secretly and painlessly. She was confident her brains and intelligence would be capable of organising that - to-night proved what she could do.

  They finished the bottle of wine, retired to bed early, and wrapped in passionate love, the events of yesterday were well forgotten.

  * * *

  Power and Passion

  It was a miserable old Monday in Dream Valley. The dark clouds were low, merging to form a dome of late winter depression - it was cold and gloomy. Garry had been out early. Everything was normal with the horses - all fresh and well, perky after their Sunday break. 'Harmonica' was the only one out yesterday, had to be kept exercised for her race on Thursday - she was in great form.

  He hadn't heard a word from Jenny. It was killing him. He urgently needed answers to some important questions. How did she get home with Ken? What happened when they did get home? How serious was the burst-up? Will she be riding in the race on Thursday? Will she ever ride in a race again? Will she be even allowed to come down again?

  Why doesn't she ring? She said she would. One minute of chat on the phone, and he would know everything. The waiting was unbearable.

  Taking 'Harmonica' out to the little field behind the house, he made sure to bring the mobile. It was now one-thirty, her lunchtime break, she might ring soon. He watched the mare graze contentedly, without a worry in the world. Great to be like that - so simple for animals. The phone rang. It was the Vet.

  'I'll be over in the afternoon to vaccinate the horses.'

  'Okay.'

  He sighed deeply. Why doesn't she ring? Why? Why? Emily leaned over the gate.

  'Will I take out 'Spinning Top' for a pick of grass too?'

  'No, no Emily, leave her 'till later.'

  He couldn't have her nearby if Jenny rang. She shrugged, turned and strolled away. The mobile rang.

  'Hi Garry ... it's me.'

  'Jenny! I thought you'd never ring.'

  'Sorry Garry. This is the first chance I got ... how are you?'

  'Oh I'm alright, but you, how are you? How did things go afterwards?'